Alright, boys and girls. Since making a satire of The Ember Island Players makes as much sense as spoofing Robin Hood: Men in Tights, I decided instead to show you guys the scenes that didn't make it into the satire itself. There are-.

Toph: Question!

Um… ok. What's your question?

Toph: If these scenes are being put into this chapter and this chapter is part of the satire, doesn't that mean that the scenes made it onto the satire?

Alright, the scenes that didn't make it into their respective chapters. Better?

Toph: Yes, you may proceed.

Thanks. As I was saying, there are several reasons you'll find that different scenes were discarded… until now… Fourth-wall breaking, different kinds of humor, and, there are even some I didn't notice when I made the original chapter. Hope you guys enjoy.

Oh, P.S. Any fourth-wall breaking in this chapter doesn't officially count because this chapter is about things that didn't make it into the satire proper.

The Deleted Scenes of What SHOULD have Happened in Avatar the Last Airbender


Episode: Imprisoned

Reason for Deletion: Way too out of character and I also noticed that sexual harassment doesn't seem to exist in the AtLA world. So for Tyro to be the one to do this seemed to go against the social mores, which are Mike and Bryan's to define.


In the center of the prison yard on the giant metal rig, Katara sat between Haru and Tyro as the teen's father crossed his arms. "If you don't mind me asking, what's your escape plan?"

The middle-aged man raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"

"You know, the plan to get everyone off the rig? What is it? Mutiny? Sabotage?"

"The plan? The plan is to survive. Wait out this war." Tyro turned away. "Hope that some of us can get back home and forget this ever happened."

Hakoda's daughter threw out her arms as she stared at the man. "How can you say that? You sound like you've already given up!"

Haru's father looked at her again. "Katara, I admire your courage and I envy your youth." He turned away once more. "But people's lives are at stake here. The warden is a ruthless man and he won't stand for any rebellion. I am sorry…" the man closed his eyes, "…but we're powerless."

The Water Tribe girl furrowed her brow and stood. "We'll see about that."

Katara grabbed a rusty metal lid and a spoon as she stormed towards a large table and climbed on top of it. She then looked out at the crowd of long-faced Earth Kingdom citizens and banged the cover with the utensil. "Earth benders! You don't know me, but I know of you! Every child in my Water Tribe village was rocked to sleep with stories of the brave Earth Kingdom and the courageous earth benders who guard its borders!"

Above the girl, the warden watched from a balcony and saw a soldier moving out of the corner of his eye. He then pointed at the girl and four guards rushed her.

"Some of you think the Fire Nation has made you powerless. Yes, they have taken away your- Hey!" Katara frantically fought against the guards who grabbed her. "Hey, let go! Someone help!" However, no one moved.

As Tyro watched the girl being dragged away, he sighed and shook his head. "What'd she expect? I clearly said that the warden doesn't stand for any rebellion." His son mimicked his gesture.

The old earth bender then sighed. "And I was hoping to rape her too."

Haru's eyes widened. "WHAT?"

"What do you mean 'what'? Look around you, boy! This is a prison and it's full of old and ugly people who've been stuck here for years. Heck the only reason you haven't taken a pounding yet's 'cause you're my kid and I'm top rabbit-dog around here. I've been watching your back."

The young earth bender began to tremble. "I… I can't believe what I'm hearing…"

"Well, you best believe it and best stick close. I've seen the way some of these people are looking at you."


Episode: Winter Solstice: Part 2

Reason for Deletion: Actually, it just didn't occur to me at the time.


After the Avatar, his friends, and his bison flew through the long rows of ships that made up the Fire Navy blockade, Commander Zhao's lieutenant approached the superior officer. "Where do you think the Avatar is headed, Sir?"

Zhao glanced towards Zuko's boat. "I'm not sure. But I bet a certain banished prince will know."

On the scarred teen's craft, Iroh's eyes widened. "We're on a collision course!"

The banished prince clenched his fist. "We can make it!"

Back aboard the commander's vessel, the lieutenant stood in front of several columns of armored soldiers. "The boarding party is ready to apprehend Prince Zuko, Sir."

The commander held up an arm. "Wait! Cut the engines and let them pass."

The lieutenant's body jumped in shock. "Sir?"

A few moments later, the commander's boat and the one across from in the blockade screeched to a halt. Moments later, the banished prince and Zhao glared at each other as the scarred boy's vessel passed through the opening in the blockade.

However, behind the fleet commander, the lieutenant raised an eyebrow. "Ok, I'm not going to question how we were able to come to a sudden stop on water, even though I'm pretty sure cutting the engine on a ship doesn't do that and your momentum is conserved for some distance. After all, in this world of magical bending and spirits, there might be some trick of engineering or physics that I'm just not aware of. So I'll let it slide.

"I'm also not going to question why everyone didn't suddenly jerk forward, since the sudden stop would cause everyone and everything not nailed down to fly across the deck. Again, because there might some facet of engineering or physics that I just don't understand, I will let it slide.

"Here's what I'm going to question: How did we signal all the other ships in the blockade to stop as soon as we did? We sent up no flare or smoke signal, we didn't use a loud horn or anything! We can see the ship across from us has stopped and since we aren't hearing the sound of other ships crashing into one another, it's safe to assume ALL the other ships in the blockade have as well. But how? They were all clearly still moving while the Avatar was trying to get through. How did they know we were going to stop?

"I mean, is this whole blockade just on an enormous underwater carousel? Is that how it happened?"

Zhao grit his teeth and thought, Crap! My lieutenant has realized our secret.


Episode: The Waterbending Master

Reason for Deletion: Just seemed like a fourth wall-breaking joke that belonged in an abridged series rather than my satire.


With the morning sun shining on the North Pole, Katara walked beside the Avatar as a huge smile lay glued to her face. "I've been waiting for this moment my whole life." The two walked towards a large, elevated platform and up several flights of stairs where they spotted Master Pakku slowly bending a small chunk of water.

Aang waved at the old water bender. "Good morning, Master Pakku!"

Pakku tensed and dropped the water as he groaned. "No… Please… March right in. I'm not concentrating or anything."

The bald monk cringed. "Um…" He gestured at the girl next to him. "This is my friend, Katara. The one I told you about?"

The water bending master eyed the young nomad as the female beside him bowed. "I'm sorry. I think there's been a misunderstanding." He formed a small block of ice and sat on it. "You didn't tell me your friend was a girl. In our tribe, it is forbidden for women to learn water bending."

Katara glared at the old man. "What do you mean, you won't teach me?" She stormed towards him. "I didn't travel across the entire world so you could tell me 'no'!"

Pakku calmly stared the female water bender right in the eyes. "No."

Sokka's sister threw her hands on her hips. "Well, why not?"

The old man sighed. "It began several hundred years ago, when Avatar Kyoshi came to learn water bending.

"Since her original element was earth, this was to be the last one she needed to learn before becoming a full avatar. During that time, she and a man of our tribe started seeing one another and sharing dinner and… 'breakfast' together. Since they were both adults at the time, it seemed obvious to everyone that the two of them were going to get married. They were quite a lovely couple, according to the story."

Katara raised an eyebrow. "Ok… so what happened?"

"One day, her teacher gave her a surprise test to see if she had mastered the art of water bending already. Suffice to say, she passed with flying colors and did it much faster than her teacher thought it would take. Thus, with her lesson done much earlier than usual, while earning the tiles of 'Water Bending Master' as well as, 'Full Avatar,' Kyoshi rushed to the man's house and burst through the door to tell him the exciting news...

"...and found him in bed with another girl."

Aang gritted his teeth. "Ouch… What happened next?"

Pakku glanced to the side. "The exact details change from storyteller to storyteller, but they all end up with her going into the avatar state and… Well, you ever wonder how the two water tribes, who live on opposite sides of the world, could have so much in common while being separated instead of being one large group of people all on one really enormous block of ice?" He watched the two children shake their heads. "How about how Kyoshi so easily split her island from the rest of the Earth Kingdom when Chin the Conqueror confronted her? You know, as if she had practice doing that?"

Again, the children shook their heads.

"When you do figure it out and put those two things together, you'll understand why we don't train women anymore."


Episode: The Avatar State

Reason for Deletion: This was another point that just didn't occur to me at the time. In fact, it didn't occur to me at all. All credit to bma925 for seeing this one.


In his translucent, spiritual form, Aang found himself on the back of Roku's dragon while his previous life sat at the front of the beast.

Roku glanced at his reincarnation. "It's time you learned." The former avatar's dragon took them into the sky and through yellow clouds, where all the past avatars stood and looked on.

"The avatar state is a defense mechanism, designed to empower you with the skills and knowledge of all the past avatars. The glow… is the combination of all your past lives. Focusing their energies into your body.

"In the avatar state, you are at your most powerful. But you're also… at your most vulnerable."

Aang's eyes widened. "What do you mean?"

"If you are killed in the avatar state…" Roku and the other spirits began to disappear. "…the reincarnation cycle will be broken." All the avatars lined up beside the tattooed youth and the vanished. "And the avatar will cease to exist."

The monk raised an eyebrow. "And you know this… how?"

Roku glanced at the child. "Because it was explained to me by both the sages and avatars past."

"Ok, but how did they know? You can't really know something is going to happen until it or something similar to it happens. So the only way anyone could know that the Avatar spirit will cease to exist is if another avatar spirit or something similar to it underwent the same fate." The nomad stared at his past life. "So which is it?"

"Well… uh… see the thing is… um…" The former avatar pointed behind the boy. "WHAT'S THAT OVER THERE?"

Aang simply huffed. "Did you really think I was gonna fall for that?"

"Er… It was worth a shot."


Episode: The Cave of Two Lovers

Reason for Deletion: I don't use this kind of humor unless it's to add on to another joke. Using it on its own isn't my thing.


As Aang entered the tomb, deep inside the mountain, he stared at the architecture around him. "It must be the two lovers from the legend. That's who's buried here."

Katara, with a torch in hand, approached the main pedestal of the grave. "These pictures tell their story."

The water bender saw an image of a mountain with two people in fine robes atop it and began reading. "They met on top of the mountain that divided their two villages. Their villages were enemies, so they couldn't be together." She then glanced at a scene of the lovers stand on opposite hills across a canyon. "But their love was strong and they found a way."

When Katara moved to a picture of the lovers beside a giant mole, she continued. "The two lovers learned earth bending from the badger moles. They became the first earth benders." She saw pictures of them creating passages out of stone and then a map of a labyrinth. "They built elaborate tunnels so they could meet secretly." The girl glanced at a picture of them kissing. "Anyone who tried to follow them would be lost forever in the labyrinth.

Then, Sokka's sister spotted an image of the just the woman. "But, one day, the man didn't come."

Aang smirked. "And the woman was upset by this? He was the one who didn't leave satisfied."

Katara looked up at him. "Wha…?" She then blinked twice before bursting out laughing.

The monk began to laugh as well.


Episode: The Library

Reason for Deletion: I was really on edge about whether or not to include this one in the Library chapter. On one hand, it made sense that the Fire Nation would block and make an effort to destroy others' knowledge about them and after 100 years, they could have made quite a dent. On the other hand, such critical information is something that would be well passed around by the FN's enemies. On the other hand, it was Katara, Sokka, and Aang who made the discovery and it made sense that, although critical, such esoteric information would be unknown to them. On the other hand, Professor Wei was with them and you'd think he'd know. But, on the ultimate hand, with the professor's specialty being archeology and the Dai Lee's ban on war talk, it made sense that he wouldn't know either. Still, since it was so close, I figured I'd include it among the deleted scenes.


Inside Wan Shi Tong's library, a large, circular golden door opened up and a small spirit fox sat on the other side, smiling at the humans and lemur visiting the hall of books. As the visitors walked in, the small spirit walked up to a lever that lay next to a large dial in the center of the dome-shaped room and pushed it. In moments, the ceiling of room became a moving, starry sky.

Professor Wei smiled as his eyes widened. "This room is an engineering marvel. A mechanical wonder! It's a planetarium that shows the heavens moving!"

Sokka and his companions simply stared as the ceiling turned into a bright blue sky with a cut out of the sun being held over head. "This is beautiful. But, how is it helpful?"

Katara glanced at the round podium next to the lever. "Maybe these dials represent dates and times. Sokka! Try entering that date from that parchment you took!"

The young warrior raised a finger over his mouth. "Shhhh! Katara…" He then slid close to his sister and whispered. "Not in front of the fox, he's with the owl."

As the Water Tribe boy watched the fox whimper, he slowly withdrew a burnt piece of paper from his bag and glanced at it. He then began rotating the dials in front of him until the yellow tab lined up with the date written on the remains of the scroll. Then, with a pull of the lever, the planetarium began to turn from night to day as the false sun and moon slid across the sky.

While the fake stars danced in front of the bald monk's eyes, a smile grew on his face. "Wow, I gotta hand it to you, Sokka. You picked the best mini-vacation, for sure."

The ceiling stopped with the image of a bright blue sky, but then the light dimmed.

The water bender glanced around the room. "Hey, what happened to the sun?"

Aang narrowed his eyes. "Great. You must have broken it."

Sokka stepped forward. "It's not broken…" He stared at where the sun cut-out lay. "The sun is behind the moon. It's a solar eclipse!" The boy smiled. "It's literally the darkest day in Fire Nation history!"

The Water Tribe boy grabbed the nomad's shoulders. "Now I get it! Something awful happened on that day! I don't know what! But I do know why!" He began shaking his friend. "Fire benders lose their bending during a SOLAR ECLIPSE!"

Aang staggered back.

"Sorry…"

Katara stepped forward. "Ok, hold on a second. Even though a solar eclipse does not block out all the light of the sun across the entire planet, and I don't see how that'd be any different from nighttime even if it did, I'm willing to let it slide because I don't think I understand all the laws of physics of this world, which includes mystical spirits and bending. What I am curious about is how this is a surprise to us? I mean, if there have been nearly 1,000 avatars, all living for over 100 years, and all knowing all four elements, then how, in the over 100,000 years fire bending has been around, is it not common knowledge that fire benders lose their bending during a solar eclipse?"

Sokka shrugged. "I blame the schools."


Episode: The Drill

Reason for Deletion: Sex jokes. Just lots and lots of sex jokes.


Katara, her brother, her blind friend, and the people being escorted by them all walked calmly towards the walls of Ba Sing Se. Just then, they looked up and saw the Avatar and his lemur gliding down towards them. When the bald monk landed, the water bender stared at him. "Aang, what are you doing here? I thought you were looking for Appa."

The air bender furrowed his brow. "I was, but something stopped me. Something big."

The Water Tribe girl cringed. "Did you have to say it like that?"


0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0


Within the train station of the Outer Wall of Ba Sing Se, Jet stood in line next to Smellerbee and Longshot as he watched the boy he knew as 'Lee' and the old man he knew as 'Mushi' walk past the ticket counter and towards the train tracks. Taking the piece of straw out of his mouth, the hooksword-wielder smiled. "I think Lee would make a good Freedom Fighter. He's just trying to find his way in the world. Like us."

Smellerbee held her arms crossed. "We don't know anything about him, Jet."

"I know he didn't get that scar from a water bender."

The tomboy extended her arms. "Besides, I thought we were going straight now."

The leader of the Freedom Fighters raised an eyebrow. "You couldn't have said that any other way?"


0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0


Toph led her friends through the cloud of dust until the drill's spinning motion began to clear it away. Quickly, the blind girl created a tunnel in the ground. "Everyone, into the hole!" After all of them jumped in, she closed the entrance behind her.

As Sokka followed the others through the pitch-black tunnel, he moved his eyes back and forth, but couldn't spot a shred of light. "It's so dark down here! I can't see a thing!"

The earth bender groaned. "Did you really need to phrase it that way?"

"Sorry."


0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0


Inside the Fire Nation's massive drill, with his bald friend, the lemur, and his sister staring over his shoulder, Sokka examined the machine's blueprints and narrowed his eyes. "It looks like the drill is made up of two main structures." He pointed at the parchment. "There's the inner mechanism, where we are now, and the outer shell. The inner part and the outer part are connected by these braces. If we cut through them, the entire thing will collapse!"

Aang stared at the young warrior. "Did you really have to use those terms?"


0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0


Within the large drill, Sokka held the blueprints in his hands as he led his sister, the Avatar, and the small lemur up to one of the braces that supported the structure. "Wow. It looks a lot thicker in person then it does in the plans."

Katara cringed as she stuck out her tongue. "That's just disgusting."


0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0


As the acrobat and knife-thrower chased the Water Tribe siblings down the corridors of the drill, Katara and her brother came up on a dead end with a latch on top of a steel tube. The water bender glanced at the sign above them as her brother pulled on the latch. "'Slurry pipeline'? What does that mean?"

Sokka grunted as he opened the small entryway up. "It means that someone used wording that they really didn't need to."


0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0


Ty Lee rode the rock and water pipeline of the drill after the Avatar's friends. Within a few minutes, she saw the exit and wore a sly grin as the artificial waterfall took her smoothly and gracefully down towards the ground where the Water Tribe siblings landed. However, before she touched solid earth, the water she rode stopped in mid air and then flew back towards the pipeline, halting only at the entrance. She looked at her foes and found the water bender in a strong bending stance.

"Why don't you try blocking my chi now, Circus Freak!"

Beside the girl, her brother pumped his fists. "Katara, keep that up! The pressure will build up in the drill! Then when Aang delivers the final blow, it'll be ready to POP!"

The acrobat's face contorted as she gritted her teeth. "There're at least four reasons you should have worded that differently to your sister while using the name of a child who's twelve!"


0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0


From underneath the drill, Toph felt Sokka and Katara's vibrations from behind the large Fire Nation vehicle. Immediately, the young earth bender lowered the extrusions of rock that pushed against the mechanism and hurried towards her friends. When she came close, she heard Sokka speaking.

"Good technique, little sister… Keep it up… Don't forget to breathe…"

The blind girl cringed and then heard Katara yelling.

"You know, I am just about sick and tired of you telling me what to do all day! You're like a chattering hog-monkey!"

Toph's face turned green as she felt her stomach begin to contort and Sokka shouted.

"Just bend the slurry, woman!"

The earth bender raised an eyebrow when she heard 'slurry' and saw, through vibrations, the young warrior being knocked to the ground as his sister bent the mud at him. She blinked twice, then relaxed, and calmly walked forward. "You guys need some help?"

The water bender turned towards her friend. "Toph! Help me plug up this drain!"

When the other girl's words reached Toph's ears, The Earth Kingdom child immediately dropped to her feet and a spewed the contents of her stomach into the mud. As she felt her friends' eyes on her, she slowly lifted her head. "You guys seriously need to pick your language better!"

From above the earth bender, Ty Lee looked down with a pale face. "Tell me about it…!"


0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0


On top of the Fire Nation's drill, right in front of the Outer Wall of Ba Sing Se, Aang guided a large boulder on top of the 'X' he made with the water Katara gave him. With a few sharp movements of his arm, he turned the misshapen sphere into a near-perfect cone-shaped wedge of stone. The bald monk then stepped back several yards before crouching down and taking off into a sprint towards the wall.

After gaining momentum, the Avatar created an air scooter under in front of him and jumped on it. Riding the small cyclone, he passed the wedge he created and began to travel straight up the side of Ba Sing Se's monolithic barricade. The ball of air took the tattooed youth up several stories before he dispersed it and used his feet to turn himself around aim towards the chunk of rock lodged into the drill's hull. A moment later, with a burst of air, Aang shot himself downward.

From the edge of his vision, as he descended at high speeds, the nomad spotted Azula climbing up the side of the hull. He braced himself and jumped at the stone wedge as the princess blasted a ball of blue fire at him. By inches, the air bender passed under the azure flame and slammed his body into the wedge and powered the wedge into the drill.

The impact created an enormous burst of air the sent Ozai's daughter flying away. Inside the drill, the bracers gave way and thick liquids rushed out of the pipes. Then, thick, sticky slurry erupted from all over the drill. The young Avatar heard screaming from the rear of the metal monster just before intense heat and steam burst forth from the crevices in the engineered vehicle and the colossal drill stopped spinning and its super-structure collapsed.

A minute later, as the slurry covered everything in over a hundred-yard radius, Aang wiped the goo from over his face and shuddered. "The Fire Nation… is… DISGUSTING!"

Momo then landed on the bald boy's shoulder and lapped at the muddy water.

The Avatar turned to his pet. "You are never using that tongue to lick my hand ever again."


Episode: City of Walls and Secrets

Reason for Deletion: To be honest, I don't really remember why I didn't put this in. It doesn't feel like that strong of a joke, but I don't think that would have stopped me.

Toph: I am remembering that last sentence forever.

Go rot in Koh's lair, Toph!


Within the Lower Ring of Ba Sing Se, Joo Dee rode through the streets with the Avatar and his friends in a carriage pulled by an ostrich-horse. "This is the Lower Ring."

Katara glanced out the window and spotted an enormous stone barricade. "What's that wall for?"

The tour guide laughed. "Oh, Ba Sing Se has many walls. There're the ones outside, protecting us, and the ones inside that help maintain order." She gestured out the window. "This is where our newest arrivals live. As well as our craftsmen and artisans; people that work with their hands. It's so quaint and lively."

All of the wagon's passengers glanced out the window as a man with a large sword and his friend glared at them.

The appointed guide cringed and the others widened their eyes. "You do want to watch your step, though."

The water bender slowly moved her eyes back to the barricade. "Why do they have all these poor people blocked off in one part of the city?"

Aang lowered his eyes. "This is why I never came here before. I always heard it was so different from the way the monks taught us to live."

Joo Dee raised an eyebrow. "Oh? And tell me, young Avatar, how did the monks fair against the Fire Nation versus how Ba Sing Se has faired?"

Everyone in the carriage stared at Joo Dee.

"Yeah. That's what I thought. So keep your trap shut about how the people who are still alive run things."


Episode: Tales of Ba Sing Se

Reason for Deletion: Just seemed too minor. Plus, it fell into the category of things that could be determined by cultural norms, which are Mike and Bryan's to define. And SINCE IT WAS SUCH A WEAK JOKE I DIDN'T INCLUDE IT!

Toph: Hehe! Every rule has its exceptions, I suppose.


With clear blue skies over Ba Sing Se, Toph smiled as she and her water bending friend walked down the streets of the Upper Ring with make up on their faces. "Well that wasn't so bad. I'm usually not into that stuff, but I actually feel… girly."

Sokka's sister smiled back. "I'm glad. It's about time we did something fun together."

The two girls then began crossing a small stone bridge as three other fancy-dressed ladies started crossing from the other side. When all five girls crossed on the bridge, one of the ladies smirked at Toph.

"Wow, great make-up…"

The blind girl continued past them. "Thanks."

"…for a clown!" The lady and her two friends started laughing as the smaller girl lowered her head and frowned.

Katara turned around and glared at the three young ladies as she put her arm around her friend. "Don't listen to them. Let's just keep walking."

Another one of the ladies smirked and glanced at her friends. "I think she looks cute. Like the time we put a sweater on your pet poodle-monkey." All three laughed again.

"Good one, Star!"

The Water Tribe girl continued to narrow her eyes. "Let's go, To-. Wait!" She spun around and raised an eyebrow. "Your name is 'Star'? It's actually 'Star'?"

The girl put a hand on her hip and narrowed her eyes. "Yeah! What's it to you?"

Katara and her blind friend turned towards each other and then burst out laughing.

"Hey! What's so funny?"

Toph snorted. "Your name, that's what! Seriously, what kind of horribly cliché name for a pompous rich girl is 'Star'?"

The water bender kept laughing. "A horribly cliché one!"

The fancy-dressed girls began to shout, but the earth bender just calmly spun around. "Come, Katara, let's get out of here before some fate that runs the universe forces us into a crummy story about life in a school of secondary education!"

The Water Tribe girl nodded. "I'm with you on that!"


Episode: The Earth King

Reason for Deletion: Sex joke.


As the Avatar's friends clutched the fur on Appa's back and the beast flew towards the palace in the heart of Ba Sing Se, Toph clutched the hairs as tight as she could. "Can we please buy a new saddle for Appa? Riding bareback is terrifying!"

All of the blind girl's friends turned and stared at her. A second later, Sokka smirked.

"Yeah, it's dangerous, but the sensation's worth it!"

Everyone on Appa's back erupted into laughter.


Episode: The Earth King

Reason for Deletion: Actually didn't notice this until after I posted that chapter and was watching a rerun of it. Also, this is one of those things that you can watch the episode again if you don't believe me. 'Cause this really does happen.


Looking down from the top of Ba Sing Se's outer wall, surrounded by the Avatar, the Avatar's friends, and several of his own guards, the Earth King stared at the large metal drill with the black fire painted on to it and lowered his head. "I can't believe I never knew." Just then, he heard a noise and turned to his right to see Long Feng rising up to the top of the outer wall on a stone platform that stopped when it became level with the rest of the wall.

Flanked by two clean-shaven Dai Lee agents, the grand secretariat approached his ruler. "I can explain this, your majesty. This is nothing more than… a construction project." He gestured at the drill.

Katara threw her hands on her hips. "Really?" She glared at the head of the Dai Lee and his two beardless subordinates. "Then, perhaps you could explain why there's a Fire Nation insignia on your 'construction project'?"

Long Feng saw the Earth King narrow his eyes at him. "Well, it's import-."

The Earth King's eyes suddenly bulged. "Holy spirits!"

Long Feng glanced in every direction. "What? What? What is it?"

"The Dai Lee on your left!" The king pointed at the man and everyone turned their heads towards him.

Sokka's jaw dropped when he saw the large amount of facial hair covering the man's chin. "Didn't he not have a beard just a moment ago?"

Everyone nodded.

As the others' heads moved up and down, the grand secretariat began sliding back. Excellent. Those fake beards I tell all my agents to carry around and be ready to glue onto their face at all times is paying off. Now to make my escape!


Episode: The Awakening

Reason for Deletion: Something that's just more of an abridged series joke and didn't seem to fit in this satire.


On the hijacked Fire Nation vessel, Aang hunched over as Sokka recounted the events that transpired in the previous weeks. When the older boy finished, the monk glanced up at his friend. "So what now?"

Next to his son, Hakoda smiled as he ate from a bowl of noodles. "We've been working on a modified version of the invasion plan."

A few feet away from her father, Katara scowled. "It's Sokka's invasion plan."

The Water Tribe chief looked at his daughter with narrowed eyes. "Pardon us for a moment…" He put down his dish and grabbed his daughter by the shoulder. He then pulled her away from the group.

"Hey! Hey! Where are you taking me?"

Everyone else stayed still as Hakoda dragged Katara around to the opposite side of the smokestack. They then heard the chieftain shouting.

"You will not…!"

The sound of a fist hitting flesh echoed across the deck.

"…talk like that…!"

Another punch sounded.

"… to me…!"

Knuckles hitting a jaw rang in everyone's ear.

"…ever…!"

A loud crack resonated through the air.

"…AGAIN!"

Before anyone could blink, a clattering noise followed the crash of a knee striking a rib cage, then a light 'thump' could be heard. Seconds later, Hakoda walked around the smokestack and picked up his bowl with blood-covered hands. "As I was saying, the modified version of the invasion plan…"


Episode: The Runaway

Reason for Deletion: Laws of the land are Mike and Bryan's to decide. Besides, it's not like every law that's existed in our world has made sense.


Under a blue sky, Toph stood behind a stone wall beside a road as a moose-horse pulled a fancy carriage. The well-dressed man inside the carriage lifted the lid off a porcelain cup. Then, as the wagon went past Toph's hiding spot, the blind girl stepped out of her hiding spot and pulled a thick rock out of the road that jerked the vehicle to a halt.

The man inside spilled his cup suddenly and poked his head out the window and saw a small girl lying motionless in the road next to his wagon. Immediately, he darted out of the carriage and away from the scene.

The moment Sokka saw the fancy-dressed man running towards him, he slid out from behind a wall, wearing a fake beard and a city-guard's uniform. The disguised warrior stared at the wealthy man and then pointed to Toph as she remained still on the road.

The carriage owner made frantic motions with his arms and cried as he knelt down in front of the man he believed to be a law enforcer. Then he put a bag of coins into his folded arms. When he saw the person wearing the guard uniform retain the stern look on his face, he placed another bag in his arms. Then another. Then another. Then more and more and more until the man before him grinned and gave him a wink.

Hours later, as Toph and her friends laughed and joked around their campsite, the blind earth bender took a deep breath and smiled. "Man, I sure am glad that the carriage's rich owner was responsible for me getting hit and not, you know, the driver who probably only has a moderate income at best."

Aang and Sokka nodded in agreement.


Episode: The Western Air Temple

Reason for Deletion: Fourth wall-breaking.


On a terrace of the Western Air Temple, in front of the Avatar, the water bender, the blind girl, the young warrior, the lemur, and the sky bison, Prince Zuko forced a smile onto his face and raised a hand. "Hello, Zuko here." His former enemies drew their weapons and dropped into fighting stances. "Hey… I heard you guys flying around down here… so I…" He shrugged. "Wait for you here."

Appa marched over to the scarred teen and growled loudly. Afterwards, he immediately licked him several times.

Aang's stance wavered as he watched his 10-ton pet repeatedly slurp at the boy who once tried to capture him.

As soon as the licking stopped, the prince wiped the saliva off his face. "I know you must be surprised to see me here-."

Sokka put away his boomerang but continued to glare at the Fire Nation prince. "Not really. Since you've followed us all over the world."

Zuko glanced to the side. "Right… Well… uh… anyway…" He turned back to the other youths. "What I wanted to tell you… about… is that I've changed! And I… uh… I'm good now. And, well I think should join your group. Oh! And I can teach fire bending… to you." The prince looked at the monk as the bald boy's stance wavered even further.

However, the Avatar's other friends tensed even more.

"See, I… uh-."

Toph threw her arms down. "You wanna what now?"

Katara's glare intensified. "You can't possibly think any of us would trust you, can you? I mean, how stupid do you think we are?"

Sokka stepped forward. "Yeah! All you've ever done is try to hunt us down and capture Aang!"

Zuko forced himself to remain calm. "I've done some good things." The scarred teen began to walk forward. "I mean, I could've stolen your bison in Ba Sing Se, but I set him free. That's something!" He then felt the large beast's tongue lick the back of his body.

The blind earth bender felt the older boy's vibrations. "Appa does seem to like him…"

The Water Tribe warrior put a hand on his hip. "He probably just covered himself in honey or something so Appa would lick him. I'm not buying it!"

The prince lowered his head. "I can understand why you wouldn't trust me." He then looked at the Avatar and his friends. "And I know I've made some mistakes in the past-."

Sokka clenched his fists. "Like when you attacked our village?"

Katara glared at the scarred teen. "Or when you stole my mother's necklace and used it to track us down and capture us?

Zuko stared softly at the Water Tribe siblings. "Look, I admit I've done some awful things." He gently clutched his head with one hand. "I was wrong to try to capture you and I'm sorry that I attacked the Water Tribe. And I never should have sent that Fire Nation assassin after you. I'm going to try to stop-."

Sokka's eyes bulged as he grabbed his boomerang. "Wait! You sent Combustion Man after us?"

The prince looked up. "Well, that's not his name, it's-."

"Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to insult your frie-!"

"It's 'Rick McAustin Norris.'"

The young warrior felt his jaw drop as his eye lay glued open. "Yes… Oh, spirits,… yes. That is his name."


Episode: The Firebending Masters

Reason for Deletion: I don't know if this one broke the fourth wall, but it seemed to.


As Aang and the scarred prince rode Appa away from the Sun Warrior's island and into a clear, blue sky, the young Avatar smiled. "Wow. What an adventure, eh, Zuko? First we danced together, then got each other covered in thick slime, after that we helped one another get their fire back, and we did it by dancing together."

The fire bender clinched his teeth as he stared over the side of the bison's saddle. "That's not what happened."

The monk raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

Zuko turned towards his new friend. "Here's what we're going to say happened: When we arrived, we crept and stalked through what we thought was an abandoned city; our weapons drawn incase danger lurked. Suddenly, we were ambushed by hoards of fierce and deadly savages. The situation looked bleak, but with your bending prowess and my mastery of swordsmanship, we were able to slay each adversary until they through down their weapons and surrendered.

"After our display of superior skill, they offered up gold, ale, and all of their large-breasted, narrow-hipped women until we placated. Later, they were fearful, because, though we took their treasures, consumed their drink, and ravaged their females, we were not wholly satisfied…"

)()()()()()()()()(

Zuko and the Avatar stood before all of their friends on the terrace of the Western Air Temple. "… and it was then that they begged to let them teach us their fire bending style so that we may appeased."

Sokka smirked. "You did a bunch of dancing, got thick slime all over one another, and Aang asked you for your fire."

The monk smiled. "We also danced a second time."

The traitor prince groaned as everyone laughed. "Aang…"


Episode: The Boiling Rock

Reason for Deletion: Way, way, wayyyyyy too much breaking the fourth wall and it's really just a pun on the fact that they used a cooler made of metal.


Deep inside the Boiling Rock, Sokka, in his guard disguise, walked down a flight of metal stairs and spotted the traitor prince and the Kyoshi warrior mopping the floor beside each other. With a smile on his face, the Water Tribe boy crossed his arms. "Oh, good. You guys've met."

Suki continued to mop the floor. "Actually, we met a long time ago."

Zuko kept his eyes on the floor. "We did?"

"Yeah… You… kinda burned down my village."

The fire bender stopped for a moment. "Oh… Sorry 'bout that. Nice to see you again."

Sokka then took a glance around the prison as the three teenagers ducked behind the stairwell and crouched down as they set the mops aside. The young warrior then turned around and faced his friends. "So, listen, I think I have an escape plan." He knelt down and lifted his helmet. "I checked out Metal Cooler again and it's the perfect thing to help us escape. I just need to hijack 'em and get it working."

Suki raised an eyebrow. "Uh… I don't mean to be a stickler for grammar, but don't you mean 'the metal cooler'?"

The Water Tribe boy formed a sly grin.

)()()()()()()()()(

A few hours later, a metallic alien-humanoid with three long toes on each foot and a long tail marched through the Boiling Rock as it shot eye beams out of its dome-shaped head and endured every small fire attack on its muscular frame.

As explosions blew apart the walls around them, Sokka and his friends calmly walked behind the robot as the young warrior smiled. "So, yeah, it was hard to find a replacement for the Big Gete Star's programming, since Goku and Vegeta destroyed it. However, I gotta say, I'm glad this one duplicate of Frieza's brother survived in working condition."

Zuko nodded. "Yes, it is fortunate."

Suki smiled and put her hands on her hips. "Gotta hand it to you, Sokka. We'll be out of here in no time now."


Episode: The Boiling Rock

Reason for Deletion: This was another scene that, while not breaking the fourth wall, seemed to jump the parameters of the show too much.


Inside Hakoda's cell, deep within the Boiling Rock, Sokka peeked out of the eye hole in the cell door. "So, where's Bato?" He turned around and looked at his father. "Where's everyone else from the invasion?"

The Water Tribe chief sat against a wall as his son walked over and sat next to him. "The others are being held at a prison near the Fire Nation palace. They singled me out as their leader and sent me here."

Hakoda then glanced at the young warrior. "But before I left, I met some young women who said they knew you."

The Water Tribe boy shrugged. "Dad, you're gonna have to be more specific."

"They're all really strong, well-endowed, and beautiful."

"Again, more specific."

"They said you and their leader were romantically involved with each other."

"I'll need a bit more…"

"You took their leader's virginity."

Sokka gritted his teeth. "Now you're gonna have to be A LOT more specific."

Hakoda narrowed his eyes. "Sokka…" He then smiled and patted his son on the back. "That's my boy."


Episode: N/A. This is an original scene of my own device that would've taken place between the Boiling Rock and the Southern Raiders. Heck, when this is all over, I may put it up on its own as a one-shot.

Reason for Deletion: Let's just say that if you thought the Metal Cooler scene broke the fourth wall too much, brace yourselves.


The morning sun shined down on the Western Air Temple as the Avatar and his friends, as well as the people Sokka and Zuko freed from the Boiling Rock, sat around a pot of boiling stew on the main terrace. As the broth simmered, a tense feeling lingered in the air as Katara crossed her arms and glared at the prince.

"…and another thing, Zuko! You constantly get in my way when I'm trying to keep things in order! You eat more than your fair share, especially now that we have three more people to feed! And to make matters worse-!"

The traitor prince of the Fire Nation simply sighed and stood up. "I'm going to my room. Aang, good training earlier. Same time tomorrow."

The water bender snarled. "Hey, I'm not done talking to you!" She began to stand up as the scarred teen walked off, but felt her father's hand grab her shoulder. Spinning her head around, she glared at her dad. "What did you stop me for?"

Everyone else around the kettle of stew stared at the Water Tribe girl as her father spoke. "Katara, you need to stop this. I don't know every detail of your history with that boy, but after he helped your brother get me, Suki, and Chit Sang out of the Boiling Rock, it should be obvious that he's on our side."

Aang nodded. "He's had numerous chances to take me out or capture me during our training. There's nothing to wait for if he hasn't done it yet."

Sokka crossed his arms. "At the Boiling Rock, he could have easily sold us all out, told the Fire Nation where we were hiding, and claimed he only joined us to earn our trust."

Suki shrugged. "I gotta side with Zuko on this one. He saved my butt and he may be able to help me learn how to fight fire benders."

One by one, Katara heard the others voiced their support for the Fire Nation prince. However, the water bender simply huffed as she jerked her shoulder free. "I can't believe you people are supporting him like that! Don't any of you remember what he's like? Don't any of you remember all the horrible things he's done?"

Hakoda sighed. "I'm aware of what he's done and I'm not asking you to like him, but you should respect him and treat him with-."

"NO!" The Water Tribe girl spun around and began to storm off. "There is nothing in the world that will make up for what he's done!"

Before the water bender left the terrace, Toph loudly cleared her throat as she picked at her toes. "What about a prank? Nothing speeds up forgiveness like getting even."

"Please! No childish joke that can make up for what he's…" Katara stopped at the doorway. A sly grin then slowly crawled up onto her face. "You know what, Toph? I think that idea might just work."

)()()()()()()()()(

As the sun set over the Western Air Temple, every one of the Avatar's companions, except for Zuko and Katara, sat around a small fire and all wore tense expressions on their faces.

When a slight breeze flew across the terrace where everyone sat, Toph gritted her teeth. "Ok, even I'm not comfortable with this."

Teo fidgeted in his chair. "Me neither. Are we sure this is the right thing to do?"

Chit Sang raised an eyebrow at the Water Tribe chieftain. "You have to know that what she's doing is crossing a lot of lines. I'm actually quite ashamed I answered her questions about the royal family."

Hakoda sighed. "Believe me, I know it's wrong. But if this is the only thing that can get her to settle down,…" He shook his head. "…I'm afraid we have no choice."

)()()()()()()()()(

Elsewhere, in the Western Air Temple, Zuko crossed his legs as he sat on the floor of his room. A single candle burned in front of him as he kept his eyes closed while taking long breaths in and out. Just after an exhale, he heard a sharp knock on his door.

The prince snapped his eyes open and rose from his spot before walking to the entrance of his room. With a raised eyebrow, he opened the door. However, when he saw Katara standing in front of him with a glare in her eye and her arms crossed, he lowered his head. "What'd I do now?"

The water bender tsked as she clutched a rolled up scroll in one of her hands. "It's what you better not be doing!"

Zuko glanced at her. "What are you talking about?"

Katara shoved the parchment into the prince's chest. "A few of us went off to a local town to buy supplies, you know, 'cause someone's been eating more than his share. While we were there, this woman bumped into us and specifically asked us to give you this. Are you telling people where we are?"

The scarred boy's eyes shot open. "What? No! No! I don't know what that woman was talking about!" He slowly took the scroll out of the other bender's hand. "What did she look like?"

The Water Tribe girl narrowed her eyes and stared at the fire bender for a moment. Then she relaxed her glare a little and re-crossed her arms. "Middle-aged. 'Bout as tall as my dad, maybe a little shorter. Long, black hair. Said her name was Urga or… Urca or… Ur-something."

Zuko's jaw dropped. He then spoke with a weak voice. "Ur… Ursa?"

Katara rubbed her chin. "Yeah… That might've been it." She then scoffed and walked away. "Enjoy your mail call." She moved a few yards away and turned a corner. When she heard Zuko slam his door shut, she pressed her back against the wall and grinned as she leaned her ear closer to his room.

Back inside the prince's bedroom, the fire bender could feel his heart racing. For a few moments, he just stared at the rolled up piece of paper as thousands of memories and questions rushed through his head. But as his palms became sweaty, he opened up the scroll so fast, the fabric almost tore.

Tears formed in the scarred teen's eyes as he began reading. "Zuko,… my beautiful child,… I hope that, wherever you are, you are safe and among friends…" He wiped his eyes.

"I don't know what the future will bring. But I want you to know there are things that will always be true. I am proud of you…" Zuko felt his body tremble. "… I love you…" His hands shook. "…I will never give you up…" He smiled. "… I will never let you down… I will never…run around…?" The fire bender blinked twice. "…and…"

The scarred boy grinded his teeth. "…desert you!"

Flames erupted in Zuko's hands as he turned and kicked down his door. "YOU'RE AN %##-HOLE, KATARA!"


[[Toph: Dave?

Yeah, Toph?

For that last scene, I want to have your babies. I know there're the whole age and reality-the-other-one-exists-in issues, but I still want to have them.

Noted.]]


Episode: The Southern Raiders

Reason for Deletion: Once more, it was a matter of social mores of the AtLA universe, which are up to Mike and Bryan to define. Also, it really is just my personal preference on how this issue should be resolved and why. I'm sure others have their own.


The morning sun shined over the tiny island the Avatar and his friends used as a camp as Katara marched towards the monk and his bison with the traitor prince in tow. "I need to borrow Appa."

Aang chuckled. "Why? Is it your turn to take a little field trip with Zuko?"

"Yes. It is."

The tattooed youth heard the tone in her voice and spun around with wide eyes. "Oh. What's going on?"

The water bender kept her brow furrowed as she spoke. "We're going to find the man who took my mother from me."

Zuko adjusted the bag over his shoulder. "Sokka told me the story of what happened." He saw the Water Tribe boy approaching. "I know who did it. And I know how to find him."

The Avatar tensed. "Um… And what, exactly, do you think this will accomplish?"

Katara glared at her student for a moment. Then she scoffed and shook her head. "I knew you wouldn't understand." She began walking away.

The nomad took a few steps after his water bending teacher. "Wait! Stop! I do understand! You're feeling unbelievable pain and rage. How do you think I felt about the sand benders when they stole Appa? How do you think I felt about the Fire Nation when I found out what happened to my people?"

The Fire Nation teen gestured out with his free arm. "She needs this, Aang. This is about getting closure… and justice."

Aang stared back at his newest teacher. "I don't think so. I think this is about getting revenge."

With her back to her friends, the water bender tightened her fists. "Fine! Maybe it is! Maybe that's what I need! Maybe that's what he deserves."

The Avatar stared at his water bending teacher. "Katara, you sound like Jet."

Sokka's sister spun around. "It's not the same! Jet attacked the innocent! This man… he's a monster!" She watched her brother step beside the monk.

"Katara, she was my mother too. But I think Aang might be right."

"Then you didn't love her the way I did!"

Sokka stared at his sister with widened eyes. "Katara…"

The Avatar lowered his head. "The monks used to say that revenge was like a two-headed rat-viper. While you watch your enemy go down, you're being poisoned yourself."

Zuko glanced at the air bender. "That's cute. But this isn't air temple preschool. It's the real world."

The Water Tribe girl furrowed her brow even more. "Now that I know he's out there... Now that I know we can find him, I fell like I have no choice."

Aang opened up his arms. "Katara, you do have a choice: forgiveness."

The traitor prince clutched the bag over his shoulder. "That's the same as doing nothing!"

The nomad shook his head. "No, it's not. It's easy to do nothing, but it's hard to forgive."

Katara raised an eyebrow. "Um… Aang? I think you're using the wrong word for the message you're trying to convey. See, you forgive someone when they make a sincere gesture that shows that they're sorry. Anything from giving a large gift down to a simple apology, after all, why would you forgive someone who clearly is not sorry for what they did and could have every intention of doing it again?

"What you're thinking of is 'letting go.' You stop directing large amounts of energy towards things that can never be changed and things that offer no significant improvement to your life and instead focus on things in your life that can be improved upon or help others improve."

The water bender shrugged. "Just a semantics thing."


A/N: It's… Wow... I don't have words to describe it. I got all the chapters out of the way. The Avatar Returns all the way to my replacement for the Ember Island Players. I've got the entirety of the regular episodes done. What's there left to say, but-?

Toph: "Finale, here we come!"?

Actually…

Toph: 'Acutally'? Actually, what?

That's all for today, folks. Hope you enjoyed it and be sure to join us next week for

Not Sozin's Comet, but an important note that I need to make sure you all read.

Toph: You do know you've just pissed off countless people, right?

Mike and Bryan made them wait 6 months! They can wait one more week for me!