(Here's one more for tonight. I've updated way too much these past two days. Thanks for reading and reviewing! I always enjoy reviews, they inspire me to write more, although I'm the worst person ever at taking time to actually review myself.)
The moment those words left Daryl's mouth her father felt his jaw clench. He felt his blood run cold. Hearing that the low life son of a bitch had put his hands on his daughter infuriated him. He felt his heart rate spike, and thought it probably wasn't healthy seeing as how he'd suffered a heart attack a little over two months ago, he couldn't control it. That's what he'd never wanted for his daughter. That's why he'd always pushed her to get a good education. Pushed her to be independent. He'd never wanted her to have to feel like she needed to depend on a man for her livelihood. He'd watched his mother live in an unhappy marriage with his father for years. Sure, the man hadn't ever physically put his hands on her. But he degraded her. He beat her down with his words. Cheated on her countless times. She'd often tell her sons that if she'd had the money and the means, she'd have left him long ago. But she didn't. She'd married his father straight out of high school and children had quickly followed. She was a house wife with no job skills, no education.
He promised himself he'd never be that man. He'd promised himself if he ever had a daughter he'd protect her from that kind of man. He'd done everything he knew how to raise a strong, independent woman who'd never end up in that situation. Yet, somehow that obviously still hadn't been enough. When he looked over and saw the pained expression on his daughter's face, when he noticed she was trying her hardest to fight back tears after Daryl's admission, he felt his heart shatter. He wanted to run to his daughter and pull her into his arms. Though the young man who'd just broken the news to him had beaten him to the punch. He'd quickly pulled her into him, her head was resting snuggly between the crook of his neck and his chest. He felt his own face contort and he slowly walked over to his daughter, placing a hand on her shoulder. "When did this happen? How many times?" He asked.
She looked up at father. She could hear in his voice as he spoke that he was choking back tears of his own. She'd only seen the man cry twice before. Once was when her grandmother died. The second was when a dog they'd had the majority of her childhood passed away from old age. "It happened twice." She forced out. "The first time he came home drunk…..He swore it was a mistake. That it'd never happen again. He cried. He cried and he….he begged me to forgive him. He'd seemed so sorry. I believed him. I stupidly, believed him. I should have known better….but I gave him another chance."
Her mother covered her mouth and stifled tears of her own as she made her way towards her daughter. She took a seat on the arm rest and ran a hand through her daughter's hair. "I'm so sorry, baby girl. I'm so sorry. I wish you would have called us. I wish you would have told us."
Daryl looked down at her too. The re-hashing of the story sending waves of regret throughout his mind. He wished more than anything he would have been there. It wouldn't have happened if he would have. Because the first time he ever would have heard the man speak to her out of line he'd have knocked him out. And if she'd have stayed with him after that, he'd have broken the man's damn jaw once he heard about him doing anything while he was drunk. There wouldn't have been a second time for him to lay his hands on her. Internally, he did somewhat blame himself for this happening to her. If they'd have stayed friends, if he hadn't of ran away, he could have been around to stop it.
"And the second time?" He father pressed. "What happened the second time?" Though the tone in his voice almost said he didn't really want to know.
She shook her head, clinging tighter to Daryl. "We got into a fight about my car when I bought it. He didn't think I should have it. He said I wouldn't need it once we got married and started having kids. That'd there be no place to put a baby….He said I wouldn't be able to afford it either….That I'd need to stay home and take care of the kids. I got….mad…I mean…I was pissed. I busted my ass to get through nursing school. I worked hard to pay my bills. I saved like hell for a down payment on this car. I paid the majority of the bills at the apartment. I told him I wasn't taking the car back. I told him I wasn't going to quit my job if we had kids. I told him that he was being an asshole and that I didn't know where all this shit was coming from but he needed to get his head out of his ass, because there was no way in hell any of that was happening….Then he….he slapped me. He slapped me so damn hard my head hit the wall behind me. He told me that I was marrying him and I'd do whatever the hell he told me to do." She recounted the story without bursting into tears. It was still painful to tell. It was a horrible memory to re-live, but she wasn't going to let herself cry over something he did to her. He didn't deserve her tears.
"That little bastard." He father hissed through clenched teeth.
She felt Daryl's body tense as she told the story. Her head was pressed against his chest and she could hear his heart pounding. She hadn't gone into this much detail about it with him before. The only time they'd talked about what had happened had been in the hotel that night they were arguing. All she'd said then was that Ed slapped her so hard her head hit the wall. That had made him angry enough. She looked up and met his eyes, trying to communicate that it was over and done with and he needed to calm down. But then it hit her, it wasn't over. Not really. She was carrying a constant reminder of that relationship in her belly at this very moment. A living, breathing reminder that would be here in five months.
"Did you press charges? Did he get locked up?" Her mother asked.
She shook her head. "I called Lori when he went to sleep. I told her what happened. I told her I wanted to leave. That I needed to get as far away from there as possible. That I couldn't marry him….that I couldn't have children with someone like that." She added lowly. "She told me to come move in with her and Rick. She said Maggie could get me on at the hospital here. I left a note…and I just…I just left him….He went to work and I….I packed all of my clothes and my pictures and stuff….and I left a note ending it. That was it…I haven't seen him since." She let her eyes and her voice grow serious before adding. "And I'm not going too. I am not letting my baby around him. He's not getting the chance to put his hands on my child."
"If I ever see him….I swear, I'll." Her father began
"Yeah, you and me both." Daryl growled, letting his eyes meet the older man's.
()()()
Daryl had to leave and go back to work and that meant Carol was going to be left alone with her parents for the next few hours. The air in the house was thick. She'd known the pregnancy bombshell was going to stun them. She'd know that the situation was more than likely going to turn to if Ed was going to be in the picture. She'd been expecting it. But that didn't mean it had made the conversation any easier to have. Her parents were older. They'd been married a long time before they were actually able to get pregnant with her and had pretty much given up on the fact that they'd ever have kids when her mother finally found out she was pregnant. They were 62 and 66 now. She felt guilty putting all of this on them at their age. It was a lot for them to take in. And that's why she'd never burdened them with why she left Ed before. She felt like it would only stress them out and it was something they hadn't needed to know. But now they actually did need to know, because they had to understand why she didn't want him around her child. If he was a different man and the relationship had ended for any other reason, she wouldn't mind him seeing her kid. Sure, it would still put a strain on her and Daryl. It would be awkward and weird, but it would be what was best for her child and she'd do it. But with who this man was, with what he had done, him not seeing it was what was best. And even though this baby wasn't here yet, she still felt an overwhelming urge to protect it and keep it safe.
"I can't believe my baby is having a baby." Carol's mother said, softly, as she approached the kitchen table where Carol was sitting down eating that afternoon. It was just the two of them in the house right now. Her dad run into town to pick some things up.
"Imagine how I felt." She snorted. "I made them give me another test and then I when it came up positive too I still told them they were wrong." She sighed. "I couldn't argue with the blood test though, and I sure can't argue with this." She pressed her hand against her belly
Her mother offered a small smile. "Can I?" She motioned towards her daughter's belly.
She nodded, sliding back from her seat so her mother could have a better angle.
"Have you felt him or her move yet?"
"Not yet. I don't think so anyway." She mused. "I haven't had any normal pregnancy symptoms. I never got morning sickness. No dizziness. I still had some light bleeding I thought was my period. Everything seemed so….normal. I was just a little more tired than usual….But I was stressed from leaving Ed and then two days back home and I ran into Daryl again. I wasn't sleeping great at night, so I didn't think anything of it."
She slid her hands around her daughter's belly. Marveling at the fact that her grandchild was in there. "I bet this has been really hard on you." She wondered aloud, slowly removing her hand.
She sucked in a deep breath. "Can I tell you something and you won't think less of me for it?"
"You're my child. Nothing you say can make me love you any less." She replied, her own blue eyes meeting her daughters.
"When I found out….I was freaked out. All I could think about was how this was the worst timing. The worst circumstances. How my baby would never know its father. How this was going to rip everything with Daryl apart. Everything I wanted for so long. How I was going to. "She paused. "That I was going to resent my child because of the way I feel about its father. And I actually let myself consider….not keeping it. I thought it would be easier if I didn't."
Her mother was listening intently. Not showing any facial expression or emotion. "What changed your mind?"
"Working in the NICU I guess. There was this baby who'd been with us for two months. He almost died several times. His parents were teenagers. I don't even think they were together. But they still wanted him. You know? They came and prayed over him every single day. They loved him. Despite the bad timing, despite what they may have felt for one another, they still loved that little boy. And I held him that night, I held him in my arms and I just knew. I knew if I didn't keep this baby, I'd think about it every single time I held a baby at work. Every single time someone stood there and hoped and prayed that their child made it out of NICU, I'd think about what could have been. And then when I went to my first appointment and I heard that heartbeat. When I they handed me those pictures." She looked over her shoulder and trained her gaze on the sonogram picture on the refrigerator. "I knew that I wanted this baby. That it was my baby. It didn't matter anymore who the father was. I know I'll love it no matter what. I mean, I'm still scared. I still don't know what the hell I'm doing, but I know I want him or her."
He mother smiled and reached out to grab her daughter hands. "You're going to a great mom. It's always scary when you get pregnant. No matter how old you are, no matter how prepared you think you are. You always have doubts, fears. But in the end, when you hold your baby for the first time, all of that washes away."
She let out a nervous laugh. "Yeah, I hope so."
"You'll be fine." She assured her.
Carol offered her mom a small smile.
"So, how are you and Daryl? I bet this has been hard on him too."
She tugged at her bottom lip. "Yeah….it has. Things were….really tough at first…We didn't talk much for days after I told him. I mean, he was here. We were in the same space, but we didn't speak much. Then I had my first appointment and it really got to him. It was real, seeing the baby, hearing the heartbeat. He went home and got really drunk, but the next morning he called me over. Then he was really distant for two weeks. He didn't wanna….well he didn't wanna…you know?" She blushed." It's still complicated. I mean…sometimes we have really good days and it almost seems normal. Last night was one of those really good nights. He was…happy. I was happy. He woke up in a good mood and it was like we were a normal engaged couple. We kissed. We smiled. We joked. It was good….Other days though, he's really quiet. He gets this look in his eyes and it breaks my heart to see it."
"But he's still here." She pointed out. "He stood by you when you told us. He was really there for you earlier."
"Yeah. He's still here." She ran her hands over the rim of her glass and wouldn't meet her mother's gaze.
"Do you think this isn't going to work out?" She asked, raising an eyebrow.
She sighed deeply. "I haven't even said this out loud before, not to anyone. I try not to think it. I don't let myself think about it. And it hurts to even say. But I don't know, mom. I want it too. I want it to work out so much. I love him so much and I know he loves me. He'd do anything for me. But the baby…I just…I don't know about the baby. He won't talk about it. Not unless he has too. And I don't make him. I don't bring it up. Not even when I wanna talk about it. Not when I feel excited about it and I want to have someone to share that with. Because I know how I'd feel if this was reversed. If he was having a child with someone else. It would…..It would break my heart and I wouldn't even have to see reminders of it every single day. His body wouldn't change and once it was born it wouldn't be with us all the time. I just…I don't know how he's going to react when he sees this baby for real. When it's here and it's crying and screaming and it needs me to hold it or feed it or change it. It's going to be here all the time….all the time. It's going to become what my life revolves around. "Maggie and Merle, they say he'll love it just because it's mine. But it can't be that easy can it?"
