Disclaimer: I do NOT own Bleach
Chapter 53
When you're Gone
3rd person POV
Kristen continued to yell at Raina, but she didn't get a response.
"How could you just let him die?" She yelled.
Raina finally became responsive. She looked her mother in the eyes silently and then walked in as the nurses came into the room. Harry had signed a DNR and asked the hospital to honor, so they took no measures to restart his heart. Kristen began to question it, but Nana told her about the DNR. It was something Kristen wasn't aware of. Harry didn't discuss it with her because he knew she would tell him not to sign it. She wanted him to live on as long as he could. She was very close to her grandfather. Him being gone would impact her life majorly.
Paizley pulled out of Jin's arms to talk to him. "You go find Raina and try to talk to her. I'm going to calm mom down." A tear fell from her cheek.
"I don't want to leave you if you're not ok."
"I'll be fine. Promise." She managed to put a smile on her face.
Jin kissed her on the forehead before walking out the door. Paizley walked over to her mom who was still in a hysterical fit while the nurses unplugged Harry from the machines. Anna and Gin were trying to calm her down, but it wasn't working very well.
"Mom." Paizley called out and then took control of Kristen's emotion, bringing her down from her hysteria. Kristen sat down in the chair that was right behind her. Gin and Anna had been trying to get her to sit in, but she wouldn't have it. Paizley knelt down in front of her mother. "Get a grip."
Kristen nodded with tears falling off her cheeks and grasped her second daughter's hand.
"It's going to ok, Mom." Paizley assured her and squeezed her hand.
Jin walked out of the hospital on his cell phone. "Yeah, it just happened, so I'll call you when I know more." He spoke in Japanese. "No problem. See ya." He hung up and looked around for Raina. He didn't see her in the immediate area, so he began to walk around until he found her sitting on a bench. "Wanna talk about it?" He sat down beside her and she didn't say a word. "You know, I'm going to sit here until you talk. Doesn't matter if it takes all night."
"There's nothing to talk about."
"Uh, yeah I think there is."
"You think wrong."
"I know what it's like to lose someone, Rai. I lost my Dad three years ago and not a day goes by that I don't think about him. It's hard, but you just have to push through the pain and emptiness."
"Just like you pushed through yours? How many girls was it again?"
He laughed slightly. "Ok, so maybe I didn't have the best way of dealing with my loss."
"I'd say."
"The point is, you have to deal with it sometime or another. If it weren't for Pai, I think I'd still be trying to deal with mine. She makes life without him easier to live, if that makes any sense."
"It does."
"When I knew I was coming here, I told myself that I was done feeling the way I did and I was going to meet a girl here that I would fall totally in love with. She would make me feel better and give fill the emptiness inside me. I found that girl and I honestly think you found your boy in Kazuya."
I small smile crept across Raina's face at hearing the name of the guy she was taken with. It made her think of him. As she still, the smile got bigger.
"See." Jin spoke, noticing the smile. "That's why I think that."
She sighed. "Grandpa's death isn't the problem."
"Huh?"
"I know where he's going. I know he's going to be fine there. He'll find his mother and they'll stay together. He's going to be in the best part of the Rukongai and hollows won't be a problem for them. He and his mom had powers, but they were weak here on earth. They weren't able to fully tap into them."
"I never knew he had any powers."
"He had foresight."
"Oh yeah. Seems like he said something to Pai earlier like he knew he was going to die today."
"Mhmm. His mother had telekinesis. Since the Soul Society is rich with spirit energy, their powers will manifest to their potential, so they'll be able to take care of themselves. I'm not worried one bit about him."
"Then what's the problem?"
"Didn't you witness my mother's reaction? She lost it and it's my fault. I let him die. She's not going to buy the 'it was his time' bit."
"You're saying she's going to blame you for his death?"
"Yes, for a little while anyways and she won't be the only one."
"But it's not your fault. He had heart problems, right? Who else will? I don't think Pai will."
"Yes, he had congestive heart failure. His heart gave out on him, but I had the power to bring him back. I have the power to change it all, but I didn't. The twins will for a little bit. Paizley won't. She understands, this time."
"What about Anna?"
"She doesn't blame me."
"Neither do I."
She smiled slightly. "I know."
"I can't believe your mom will blame you for this."
"She won't openly say it, but she will. If when she comes to apologize for her behavior, she will still blame me in her heart. It's the burden I bear though."
"Are you going to be ok?"
"Yes. I'm made to handle situations such as these."
"Made? You make it seem like you're a robot or something."
"Well, the Nexus knew that my bestowing me such a great power that problems such as this would arise. I would have many burdens by being so powerful, so it made me in a way that I could handle such problems. Half of me is Nexian, meaning from the Nexus. That's where I find my strength. It's also what allows me to be so logical and less emotional."
"What about the other half?"
"3/8 is Shinigami. That's what Gin is. My father is also one. The other 1/8 is human, what you are."
He laughed. "I know what human is."
"Just checking."
Jin couldn't talk Raina into coming back inside. She had him tell the others that she went home, which she did as soon as he went back inside. He and Paizley stayed a little longer before leaving. Kristen's parents had arrived, so they had to lie and say that Jin was taking her home. It just wasn't the right time to tell them about everything. When they got home, Paizley got online to look at the blogs. Ever since Brie pointed her in the direction on that one blog about her and Jin, she was pretty obsessed with seeing what all was written about her. Jin was sitting on the couch with her, playing around on his guitar.
"What are you doing?" Jin asked as he noticed how engrossed she was with her computer screen.
"Looking through blogs."
"About?"
"Me, us, things like that."
"What happened to the girl who didn't really care what people thought?"
"She's right here. I never said I cared. I just like to know what's being said about me."
"Baby, I don't think you're going to be able to read everything that's being said about you."
"Why? Do you think there's a lot?"
"I wouldn't be surprised. You're probably well talked about within my fandom."
She paused, looking over something on the screen. "Well, seems the secret is out."
"What secret?"
"Those pictures the paparazzi took when we went out Sunday, they've made it online. Someone wrote about them. Listen." She began to read the blog out loud. "When I saw these pictures, my thoughts were 'someone please call the agency. Jin has lost his mind.' She is 16 for Pete's sake! He can't marry her! What is he thinking? I mean, that must be an engagement ring. Just look at it. It's huge! Why would he ask her to marry him? The first reason that popped into my head, and probably a lot of others, is that she must be pregnant. That's about the only reason why people get married so fast and young. I really hope she's not. That could ruin his career. He could go to jail for that! She really shouldn't be with him. She's honestly going to mess everything up for him. Things were going so good for him here in the US, but she's bringing him down. She will be his downfall. That's my prediction. It's sad too, because he's a really good artist and has what it takes to become someone in America. I guess we'll see in time, because you can't hide a pregnancy forever. In the article it said he snapped on one of the people when they touched her. He's been known to flip them off, but never get physical with them. She's changing him. She really needs to go." She shut her laptop top and put it on the coffee table. "Wow, everyone really hates me."
"Don't worry about what they say. That's just that one person's opinion."
"A lot of people agreed with her in the comments. Apparently a bunch of people share that opinion."
"Well, opinions ain't facts. You just have to take them in and let them go. I learned that a while ago. People are always gonna talk if you're in the spotlight. You know bad things have been said about me. You just have to learn to not let it bother you. They don't know you."
She sighed. "I guess it will take some getting used to."
"It would be better if you didn't search the internet, looking for stuff like that."
"Yeah, probably." She stood up and grabbed her keys. "I want something sweet. I'm going to the store."
"Don't we have ice cream?"
"Yeah, but I don't want that."
He put his guitar down. "I'll go with you."
"No. You stay here. I can go by myself."
"Why do you want to go alone?"
"Just do."
"Are you ok? Seriously, don't take what they say to heart. Most of them are just jealous because they want me."
"I know. I'll be back soon."
Jin was hesitant to let her leave by herself, but she finally talked to him into it. Meanwhile at the Ichimaru household, Raina and Gin were the only ones home. Kristen, Mitsuko and Kin had gone to Kristen's parent's house. Anna was going to be staying with them for a little bit and Kris wanted to make sure she got settled in and was ok. Raina was sitting in her room, staring at the wall when Gin walked in.
"So how's it feel to not be a virgin killer eh?" He asked, leaning against the doorway with the biggest smile on his face.
"Go away." She responded, not even looking at him.
He completely ignored her response. "Yer ma really laid inta ya huh? But I guess when ya got less emotions den de Rokubantai taicho Kuchiki Byakuya, it makes it easy ta shut yerself off from the world and even kill family members." He said, massaging his chin and staring up at the ceiling.
"You would like to think you knew the whole story, wouldn't you? I didn't kill him. He died of heart disease. You're obviously not as smart as people think you are." She still didn't look at him.
"Dat be true if we were a normal family, but I know why yer mum was yellin at ya. Cause you can do anythin. You got da power to make reality how ya want it. You could make yer grandad all well again, but ya didn't. Ya didn't let yer mom let him stay alive. Ya let him go to de soul society. You had an option to allow him ta be alive and instead ya chose ta let his heart attack take its full course." He completely dropped his accent. "And that makes you a murderer."
Raina turned her head to look at him. "It was his destiny."
"Destiny? Dat word's got no meanin for someone like you who's got all de power in de world?" He leaned up off the wall and held his hand up, palm facing the ceiling. "I know ya don't like ta interfere or do anythin to stop what's supposed ta happen, but yer ma wanted ta help him. She might not ever speak to ya again ya know. Ya know it was yer grandad who took care of ya when yer mom was with Aizen and me. Heck he's da one who even brought da nexus ta Kris-chan's attention. He's done a lot for this family and to pay him back for all he's done ya let him die rather than lettin him live on and stoppin his biological clock. Now I'm not one ta talk, since I got none to speak of, but sure takes a lot of honor ta let a man like that die when ya coulda done something about it eh killer?"
"She will see him again and she will speak to him again. I know what he is to this family. I'm a part of it, remember? I know all about the past." She paused. "And he's important to me too. Think he's not? He's my great grandfather! Of course he is!" She stood up and calmed down a bit. "My hands were tied. This was how it's supposed to be."
"Hands were tied? How so? Like I said yer a reality warper. You can do anything. Destiny is what you make it not what you want it. You got the option to flip destiny the bird and tell it where ta go, but ya didn't and yer mum's pretty upset. How does that make ya feel miss murder?" Gin continued to push her.
"DON'T tell me what I am! I know and I'm well aware of what I'm capable off. I've been aware for 17 years. Just because you can do something, doesn't mean you should. I listen to the Nexus and what it has planned. Everyone had to die, Gin. Or at least move on the Soul Society. Without death, there is no life."
"Oh I don't doubt dat for a second, but you got ta power ta say screw da rules dis is my family we're talkin bout. I know Kuchiki would. Heck...I know your father would."
"I am not those people, now am I? I can't be compared to others. I'm the only one like me. Some things just have to happen. Unlike you, mom, Kuchiki and dad, I can see the bigger picture in everything that happens. Your minds just don't work like mine. I accept that, so accept how mine works!"
"I can so long as yer fine with knowin dat your grandfather's blood and life are now on yer conscious grim reaperess. People want to blame others even when death is an 'accident' and yer mum is sure gonna blame you. Not just her, but a lot of de others are gonna blame you. You coulda done somethin about it or let others done somethin about it but ya wouldn't let dem. You call it destiny, they're gonna call it selfish. You can call me being downright evil right now, but I'm just lettin ya know what ya might be in for and totally enjoying screwing with ya while doin so." He waved. "Bai Bai" And used Shunpo to leave.
Raina sat down and calmed herself. She thought about how if he had only kept at it a little longer, she would have sent him flying across the room and most likely tortured him. She wasn't normally a violent person, but she would have made an exception for Gin. Sometimes he was able to push her buttons and that was one of the things she hated about him. She didn't like it when people got her. Though, not many people were able to. She knew she could have possibly justified her actions by telling him that Harry asked to be let go, but she didn't feel she needed to explain herself to him.
Back at Jin's condo, Jin had decided to call his mom and then talk to her on webcam.
"I hope she's doing ok. She doesn't need to be stressed out right now." Jin mom, Saori, said in regards to Harry's death.
"I think she'll be ok. She's not taking it as hard as her mom. What's really got her stressed is all the talk about her going on."
"Why is their talk about her?"
"Seems like every time we go anywhere, someone is there taking our picture or listening to what we're saying so they can go blog about it. It's pretty crazy and she's obsessed with finding these blogs. Then she reads what people say and it's not always nice. Someone got a picture of her ring the other day. Now everyone is talking about us being engaged and saying she's going to ruin my career. It's bullshit."
"She shouldn't read those blogs. It doesn't matter what those people think."
"She says she doesn't care what they think, but she wants to know what they're saying. I believe she does care. She just doesn't want to admit it. She's not used to so many people talking about her and she wants people to like her. She's really popular at school. Most people like her, so all the hating is not something she's used to. People get information wrong and I think she wants them to know it's not like that, but she can't say anything. I understand exactly how she feels about that. There is so much out there about me and I want people to know the Jin Akashi they know isn't me, but I can't. So I just learn to ignore it."
"She's such a sweetheart. It really is sad that people would say bad things about her." Saori had talked to Paizley a couple times on video chat, so she knew had a feel on how Paizley was. "Now is not the time to stress over such things. These people don't know her and if they did, they would think differently. Do you think she believes she's going to ruin you and that's why she gets upset?"
"She shouldn't feel that way. She comes before my career. I don't care if she does ruin it. As long as I have her, it'll be ok."
"She has changed you. I wish you could see the change like I do. You're eyes light up when she's with you. You're you, but turn into a different person with her, for her."
He smiled. "Yeah. She's the best thing to ever happen to me." He paused. "Oh, we got a sonogram today."
"Let me see."
"Hold on." He got up and went to the bedroom to get the picture. "Here." He held up the picture close to camera so his mother could see. "I can't see a baby in that, but the lady said this was it." He pointed at a certain spot on the picture. "Looks more like a pumpkin seed to me, so pumpkin is her nickname until we get confirmation on the sex."
She laughed. "Confirmation?"
"Yeah, I already know it's a girl, but Pai doesn't believe I can know. She's waiting for what she doctor says. So I just need a confirmation on it."
"You just want a girl."
"Yeah, so I can dote on her all the time and spoil her. I'd never be able to go to work again."
Saori smiled warmly at her son's talk about his child. She knew he was young, but she also knew he would be a wonderful father.
"This sonogram made everything seem real." He said.
"Was it not real before?"
"Well, there was just talk of a baby inside her, but she's looks exactly the same. Her body hasn't changed at all. Believe me, I would know if it had, I inspect it every night." He smiled and then continued. "So to get to actually see what everyone has been talking and fighting about, it was an experience. Like, 'it's really there.' 'That's mine in there.' 'I made that.' Kind of like a slap in the face too. Like 'this is really happening, Jin. Better get your act together.'" He laughed. "I didn't really have a lot of time to think about though, because we went to see her Grandpa and the next thing I know, he's flat lining. Her mom is freaking out and her older sister is walking out of the room, Kazu's girlfriend. So I have to put my problems on hold to try to help her out. Losing someone isn't fun. Dad's death really took a toll on me, so I wanted to talk to her." He paused. "They're still things that haven't been taking care of either. They really need to be before we come to Japan."
"What do you need to take care of?"
"I want Pai to come on tour with me, but we still have to talk to her parents about it. They would have to be the ones to talk to the school, so she could get her school work sent to her. With her grandpa's death, Kristen is a wreck. It wouldn't exactly be the best time to go to her for that. Her dad might be difficult to talk to about it. The timing is just wrong. Kristen's parents still don't know about the baby or that Pai is living with me. Again, the timing would just be off to tell them right now. But it's the beginning of December and we leave the day after Christmas. So yeah…"
"You've got time. But don't say anything right now. It's going to be a tough time for them right now. Wait a couple weeks."
"Her going on tour with me needs to be discussed before two weeks though. School will out for winter break in a couple weeks. That needs to be settled before it lets out."
"If her mother is having a hard time with this, you probably shouldn't talk to her about it. She needs to time to grieve. She doesn't need anything else stressing her out."
"That leaves her dad, great." He said sarcastically.
"Where is Paizley?"
"She went to the store to find something sweet. She was a little upset about one of the blogs."
"And you let her leave while she was upset?"
"I tried to go with her, but she didn't want me to." Just then front door opened and Paizley walked in with a couple bags. "There she is. Hold on." He got up. "Let me have those." He took the bags and both went into the kitchen. "How much did you buy?"
"Well I couldn't decide what I wanted, so I just bought what looked yummy."
He laughed. "You're so cute."
She smiled and pulled out a frozen key lime pie. "Want some of this?"
"Sure."
"Ok, I'll fix you a piece."
After putting away what she had bought, they took their pie and went back to Saori. Both talked to her a while and then went to bed. Jin woke up before Paizley the next morning and thought he'd try to fix them both something for breakfast. He normally wasn't too big on cooking. In fact, he rarely even cooked. Normally he had take out, but since Pai was feeling a little down last night, he wanted do something sweet for her. While he was cooking, there was a knock at the door. He answered and his manager came in holding a tabloid paper.
"What is this?" Sawatari asked pointing to the pictures Paizley was reading about last night.
"Oh those. We were liked swarmed by paparazzi while going to eat the other day."
"I can see that, but this is what I'm talking about." He pointed to a zoom in of Paizley's hand. "She's wearing a ring. Tell me you didn't."
"You want me to lie?" Jin asked, walking back to the kitchen. "If so, then I didn't. It's a fake photo."
"Why did you?" Sawatari followed behind him.
"Simple. I love her."
"It's not always as easy as that, Jin-kun. You have tons of eyes watching your every move right now. People are already speculating as to why. In this article, they're already claiming that she must be pregnant. Do you realize that they're going to be all over her now? If her clothes look different in any way, they'll claim it's her stomach from the baby. Did you even think this all the way through?"
"I just did what I wanted. I want to marry her, so I asked."
"I know that you love her, but you have to realize this might be your downfall. Your illegal relationship with her, the baby, it could all ruin you. Everything you've worked so hard for will mean nothing. Do you want that to happen? Are you sure this is right for you? I'm only trying to look out for you, you and your career."
Jin looked at the entrance to see Paizley standing there, tears running down her face. She had heard what his manager had said.
"So it true." She spoke. "I am ruining your life."
"No, Pai, it's not."
"I don't believe you." She walked out and he followed her outside to the sundeck.
"Do you honestly believe that crap?"
"Well, I didn't know. It hurt when your fans were saying it, but I tried not to buy into it. You said their opinions of your personal life didn't matter. But now someone who matters is saying the same thing. They're right. I am ruining everything for you."
"No. I don't believe that. You're the best thing to happen to. My career has prospered because of you. I've written so many amazing songs because of you. You inspire my music so much."
"But because of my age and this baby, none of that will even matter. It will ruin you. You'll go to jail or be deported and it will be all because of me." She was crying so hard, she was gasping for breath between every few words.
"Shhh." He put one arm around her lower back and the other behind her head. He pulled her to him and pushed her head against his chest. "I don't care about any of that. All that means nothing to me when compared to you. You and our baby are the most important thing in my life. My career is just what I do. I love my music and I love sharing it with people. It's my dream job. But I love you more. You're my dream girl, the girl I never thought I would meet. But I found you and now I'm never letting go. Don't you worry, angel. Everything will be fine. I'm going to take care of it all." He kissed her head.
She held onto him tightly until she felt better. While she took a shower and got ready for school, Jin finished fixing their breakfast and his talk with his manager. When she came back, Sawatari was gone and Jin had breakfast on the table.
"You made this?" She asked as she sat down.
"Yeah, for you."
"It looks good." She paused. "So what is going to happen now?"
"He went to get some breakfast and is going to come back after you go to school. We're going to call the agency and just tell them everything. He doesn't want the find out from anyone about me."
"Suddenly I don't feel like eating." She pushed her plate away.
He pushed it back to her. "You need to eat."
"I'm too nervous. What are they going to say about everything? Or more importantly, how will they punish you?"
"I will worry about that, you don't. Just go about your day. Pretend earlier didn't happen and that this conversation didn't either."
"Yeah, that'll be so easy." She said sarcastically and took a bit of food.
"This isn't your problem. It's mine. There is no sense in you worrying about it."
"I caused the problem."
"No, you didn't. I did. I never think things through, I just do. That way of being has gotten us into every mess we're in. So I'm going to work on that. You just keep doing what you're doing."
"Are you worried?"
"Not really, so you shouldn't be either."
The conversation was dropped after that. When Paizley got to school, she went to the office to show them her doctor's excuse for yesterday. A lot of the staff knew her grandpa or at least knew of him. He was a pretty influential man. They all gave their condolences for his passing and she got an excused absence, which enabled her to make up all work and any test she might have missed that day. The day was pretty awful for her though. Aside from her feeling as though she was messing up Jin's life and career, she now had to worry about what his agency was going to do after learning everything. She also found out that the internet wasn't the only place people were talking about her at. It was going on in her school too. Most of the kids had either saw or heard about that ring on her finger. After Brie told her people were talking, she took said ring off and put it in her purse. The ring wasn't the only thing they were talking about though. Since the article had speculated that she might be pregnant, others were also speculating as well. Some weren't just speculating though. Some knew she was. Alexis told all of the cheerleaders, who then told most of the football team. A lot of the members asked Kin if it were true and he just walked away from them. Spencer also was confirming people's beliefs. Half the school came up to Paizley and questioned her about either the baby or Jin. It was hell for her. This wasn't the way things were supposed to be. Teen pregnancy wasn't an uncommon occurrence. She wasn't the only pregnant one in her school either. They were two other girls. Both were seniors, but they weren't being talked about nor were they being bombarded with questions. She thought her pregnancy would be like theirs. Nothing would change in school, but she was wrong. The end of the day was a relief for her. She went home to find Jin already there.
"Why are you already here? What happened? Oh no, did you get fired?"
"No. You're Papa called me and invited us to come eat dinner over there. He said that a lot of people had brought buy food. He was inviting your parents and siblings too. So I thought I'd come home early, so we could leave and go over there. I knew you'd be hungry."
"Oh." She paused. "So what did happen?"
"When?"
"You know when!" She yelled, but then covered her mouth. "Sorry. Today has been one of those days. What did your agency say?"
"They said they would talk to me about it in person when I came to Japan at the end of the month."
"So they didn't say if you were in trouble or not."
"Nah, they really didn't say much except that."
"What does that mean then?"
"That we have to wait."
"Great."
He laughed. "So until then, chill. Now let's go eat."
On the way to her grandparent's house, Paizley told Jin about her day. She told him how everyone knew and that they were talking about her all day and asking her various questions. Jin felt sorry for her. He never really thought it would be that bad for her, neither did she. Both were more wrong than they thought.
When they arrived at the Meadows' house, the maid led them to the kitchen where they found Anna, Emily and Howard.
Paizley instantly put her hand over her mouth. "What is that smell?"
"What's what smell sweetie?" Her nana asked.
"I don't know what it is, but it's making me sick, literally." She ran out of the room and to the nearest bathroom. She didn't know it, but her pregnancy made her sensitive to some smells. Those certain smells made her gag. It was normal and part of the morning sickness, which didn't always happen in the morning. Jin went to check on her.
Emily became suspicious and after a while of them not returning, she went to find them and interrupted their conversation. "What is going on here?"
"What do you mean, grandma?" Paizley asked.
"You two always leave and come together. You're never with your family, Paizley. You are always with him. Now smells are making you sick. There is nothing in that kitchen that you haven't eaten before. What is going on?"
Jin looked at Paizley. She shook her head no, but it was to no avail. "She's pregnant. It's mine and we're living together."
Emily was speechless. She had her suspicions and had been keeping up with the tabloids, but she had hoped it wasn't true. This was so unlike Paizley.
"Oh and we're engaged." He held up Paizley's hand to show her the ring. She had put it back on in the car and explained to Jin why she took it off.
"You're a sick man. Do you know that? She is only 16. You are an adult. The fact that you even want someone her age, what does that say about you?"
"Look at her and tell me she looks 16." He paused. "That's right you can't."
"If she wouldn't wear the makeup, than she would look her age. But are you telling me you haven't always known how old she was?"
"Oh, I've known the whole time. I just don't care. Age is only a number."
"Not when you are under 18. It's everything then."
"Says who?"
"The law and the fact that she is not mentally mature."
"Look lady. I love her and I'm going to marry her. We're also going to have this baby, so you should just start getting used to it now."
"Absolutely not. You two are not getting married and she is not keeping that baby."
"Unfortunately for you, you don't have that right to tell her what to do. And I know you're worried about what people are going to think and say. Well, people already know about it and they're already talking. It's a little too late for you to think you can keep her away from me and a little too late for you to try to cover this up."
Paizley was a little shocked at Jin. Not many people talked to her Grandma that way. Her dad did. She thought that maybe her dad and Jin were a little more alike than either would want to admit. She began to think it was true that women often marry men like their fathers. Same could be said for Jin, because men often marry women like their mothers and Paizley shared quite a few things in common with his mother.
Jin had to fix Paizley's food, so she wouldn't have to smell whatever it was that was making her sick. Luckily he didn't get her whatever it was. Emily told Howard about what was said. He wasn't exactly happy about it. Jin moved down on the 'how much I like you' scale quite a bit, but he told Paizley he would support whatever decisions she made. He also told Emily privately not to make a big deal about it. This wasn't the time.
As it had been decided the viewing was the next night, Friday. The funeral would be the day after. Kristen seemed to have it more together that night than at the hospital. She was falling apart on the inside, but kept it together on the outside. Paizley stood up at the front with her the rest of the immediate family where everyone could give their condolences. A ton of people showed up too. The line was out the door at one point in time. The whole time, Raina sat on the front bench, just staring straight ahead. Renji came, because Raina sent word to him. She knew her mother would want him there. Her dad knew him and they got along.
"Talk to your daughter." Kristen told Renji. "She's been sitting there, staring, the whole time."
"My daughter? She not yours anymore?"
"Of course she is. I don't think she wants to talk to me though."
"Why not? You're her mom. Thought you two were close."
"We are. I just lost it the other day and said some things that I didn't mean. We really haven't spoken since. Beside I'm still a little hurt that she didn't save him or at least let me save him."
"Alright, I'll talk to her."
Renji sat down next to his daughter and it was obvious to anyone who looked that she belonged to him. If the red hair didn't give it away, the way her face was put together would. She was like the female version of him. Her Asians features were dominant. There was no way of telling she even had Caucasian in her just by looking. The only thing "Kristen" about her were her green eyes. Renji always loved the fact that she was him made over.
"You ok?" He asked.
"Never been better." She answered in a straight tone, no hint of sarcasm at all.
"Liar."
"Why are you over here with me? You should be comforting mom. You aren't around as much these days. I know you're busy being a captain, but you have to spend time with her to win her back. Gin doesn't get to win."
"Raina, we're at a funeral. I don't think now is the place."
"I hate living with Gin."
"Did he do something?"
"Let's kill him."
Renji laughed slightly. "Believe me, I'd like to."
Raina looked at her father seriously. "Then let's do it."
"He did something. I can tell by the way you're acting. What did he do?"
She was silent.
"Tell me." He urged.
"He called me a murderer."
"What? Why?"
"Because I let Grandpa die."
"He's full of shit too."
"He said mom might not ever speak to me again."
"What? Of course she will. She just told me she said things to you that she didn't mean."
"She meant them."
"Well, she's sorry and she loves you. Don't you ever let him convince you different."
"He didn't convince me of anything. He just thought he did."
"He shouldn't say things like that to you. You're supposed to be his step daughter…"
She didn't let him finish. "No, I'm nothing to him and he's nothing to me. We just live in the same house."
"I'm sorry he said that stuff to you."
"I wish you were around more." She looked right at him when she said that and for the first time that night, there was a sign of emotion on her face.
"I know. Me too." He pulled her in for a hug.
"Don't tell mom what I told you."
"Why not? She needs to know her husband isn't treating you right."
"No, she doesn't. I don't tell on people. I only told you because you're my dad."
"And she's is your mom."
"Just don't tell her. He's been calling me killer and murderer since it happened. She'll catch him herself and then he'll be in the doghouse."
"If you say so."
"Maybe we shouldn't kill him either. Paizley wouldn't take that too well. I have to lookout for her. She means the world to me."
Renji and her talked a little while longer, then it was time for the Captain to leave. Besides him, Paizley and Jin were the only other to get her to talk. Even they couldn't really strike up a conversation with her. After a couple hours the crowd died down. The last hour of the viewing, people came in in small groups. The funeral home wasn't as crowded. Some people specifically waited until the last hour to come because they thought that the crowd would be gone by then.
At the beginning of that last hour, Raina heard a familiar voice call out to her. "Miku-chan." She knew only one person called her that. She looked back and saw Kazuya walked up the aisle toward her. She stood up so that they could hug, which they did. Since she was in heels, she stood a couple inches taller than him. "Are you ok?"
She just nodded, but the joy of seeing him was written all over her face.
Paizley and Jin were sitting behind Raina. Paizley just smiled at Jin, because she knew it was him who called Kazuya and filled him in on all the details. She was happy to feel the emotions she was from Raina.
"How come you didn't tell me?" He asked.
She just shrugged her shoulders.
"You can thank him then." He pointed to Jin. Raina just smiled at him. "Sorry I didn't come earlier. After my plane landed, I checked into to my hotel, showered and got dressed as fast as I could. I'm so tired, but I wanted to be here for you. I have to leave tomorrow evening, so it's not a long stay. I wish I could be here for you more."
"Just being here for today and tomorrow is enough." Raina couldn't hold her smile back. She was so happy to see him. She almost forgot she was in the funeral home.
He paid his respects to Kristen, her parents and Nana. It was Howard and Emily's first time meeting him. Of course Emily felt his hair was too long and that he could lose the earring, but she kept her mouth shut this time. Kazuya stayed until it was over and he was having a hard time staying awake. He apologized to Raina when they were leaving. It was a long flight and he had jet lag. She understood. He told her where he was staying and the room number, so if she needed him she would know where he was and how to get a hold of him.
That night Raina had problems sleeping. Everything was just bothering her. Since Kazuya had come, her human side had been brought out. That was her weaker side. It was harder for her to subdue all the emotions she had been holding in. There was only person she felt she could take comfort in and be weak around. That was her boyfriend. It was in the middle of the night and she hoped he would understand as she knocked on the door of his room. When he answered, he was only wearing his underwear and looked half asleep.
"Miku-chan?" He rubbed his eyes and saw the tears welling up in her eyes. "Come in." When they sat down on the couch together, he noticed what he was wearing. "Oh, sorry." He got up and dug a pair of sweat pants from his bag. "I normally don't sleep in anything. Good thing I did tonight. I was so out of it when I got up, I probably would have answered the door naked." He laughed slight and caused a smile to cross her sad face. "What wrong?"
"I don't know. My mom is mad at me. It's all my fault." Tears started to run out of her eyes.
"What's your fault?"
"My grandpa is dead and it's my fault." More tears came.
"No no. It's not your fault." He tried to wipe away the tears, but they kept coming.
"Yes it is. I could have saved him, but I didn't." She was vocally crying now.
Kazuya embraced her and held her tight. "Don't think that way. His heart gave out on him. That's what Jin told me. You couldn't have saved him. Don't feel like this is your fault. He was old, right? He lived a full life. Just think of the good times you had with him."
She clutched onto him and cried like she hadn't in many years.
He didn't let go over her until she calmed down. When she stopped, he wiped the tears away and stroked her face, silently.
"I don't want to leave." She said.
"You don't have to. If you want to stay with me, then you can."
She nodded and yawned.
"Are you sleepy? I know I am."
"Yeah."
The two got in bed and Raina laid her head on Kazuya's bare chest. He stroked her hair with his right hand and held her hand with on his chest with his left. She didn't care if she was found missing in the morning by her family. She with the one who made her feel different. He was the one she could cry in front of. She didn't have to be strong for him, because she knew he would be strong for her. Even though sad, she began to find peace in his arms.
Is this love? She thought as she fell asleep listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat.
Author's note: Thanks to draconicohero20 for playing Gin.
