Chapter 41

"So is she okay?"

"I don't know, I kind of… just left her with Red."

Xander gave her a stern look. "You dumped her on Willow?"

The Slayer sighed heavily, running a hand through her hair, "Look, Xand, I wasn't what she needed last night. I don't know how to comfort people and make 'em feel better. She just… she was almost catatonic. She barely spoke the whole way home, which pissed Spike off to no end. I didn't know what to do. Red's… good at that stuff."

"You shouldn't have just dumped her on Willow though, Faith. You could have tried to help."

"You know I would have just said something stupid and made it worse," she said flatly.

It was the morning after their latest encounter with The First, and she, Xander, and Anya were in the dining room going over what happened last night.

"This is true," Anya said, "You and Buffy have the ability to make each other crazy at the best of times. Perhaps your butting heads would not have been appreciated by a damaged Buffy."

"Uh, thanks," Faith coughed, giving the former demon a look of false gratitude.

Xander went back to the topic at hand, "And it was Spike?"

"…Yeah. It, it was him. None of us noticed. I think… I think that's what's got her so freaked; that she didn't realize it was The First. It… it said some pretty messed up shit."

"But you said she killed the Turok-Han," Anya continued, "Which means she is still at full slaying capacity, right."

The brunette nodded, "She iced it, yeah. But that was before it decided to really… screw with her head."

Xander looked curiously at her, "What do you mean?"

Faith hesitated for a moment, apprehensive about giving details of exactly had done down last night. It wasn't like it was Buffy's business only, but she felt she might be overstepping bounds by telling the Scoobies what happened. She felt… she felt guilty that it had happened to Buffy, and it didn't feel right just sharing the details with everyone else.

"Faith?" Xander pushed.

But Faith had a right to tell them, it had happened to her too. They all needed to know what had happened, what they were up against, and why their leader was down in a funk.

"It, uh… it was Angel too."

"Buffy didn't mention that last night."

Faith turned quickly, looking over her shoulder at Willow. The redhead entered the room and sat down next to Faith, her arm brushing Faith's slightly as she did so. This was the first time she'd seen the witch since last night; she had passed out on their bed while Willow and Buffy were still downstairs, and the redhead had woken up before her.

Assuming she even went to sleep. We didn't get back till after midnight, and I didn't hear her come in.

Willow looked a little tired; her eyes looked grey and she had slight bags under them. But her face brightened as she sat down with the other Scoobies, ready to face the morning.

Xander brought her back to the conversation, "It… it was Angel? Like vampireAngel?"

Faith looked up at the ceiling, hoping it would have the answers, "For a little while. Most of the taunting was while it was Spike. It freaked her out. Seeing Angel was just like the icing on the cake."

Freaked me out, too. Seeing Wilkins is one thing. Seeing Angel…

Anya looked worried, "Will she be alright?"

Willow spoke up, "She was pretty upset last night. She…" the witch paused for a long moment, clearly unsure how to word what she wanted to say, "She was… a little without hope last night. Whatever it said to her, it really shook her up. But, well, I saw her making up with Spike."

"Making up, or making up making up?"

Willow frowned, "No, Xander. They were just kind of, holding each other."

"Why were Buffy and Spike making up?" Anya asked, her face clouded with confusion. "Were they in an argument? I thought Buffy was mad at The First, not Spike."

Willow tried to explain, "It was more of a I'm-sorry-I-got-mad-at-you-because-The-First-took-your-form and No-I'm-sorry-I-got-mad-at-you-for-getting-mad-at-me kind of thing."

"Their relationship is very unusual, when-"

"That it is Ahn," Xander jumped in, cutting off whatever personal and most likely embarrassing thing she was going to say. She frowned at the carpenter by kept her mouth closed.

"Where's B now?"

"Still downstairs with Spike," Willow answered, looking at Faith. "I went to check on her this morning. She was still a little lost and mope-y. It might be better if you trained with the girls alone today, give her a, well a day off I guess."

Me train with the girlies… alone? Me, teaching. On my own? Without B.

Oh yeah, 'cause that'll go over well.

The Slayer did as she was asked however, rounding up the Potentials and corralling them into the backyard. They spread out along the grass, chatting to themselves while Faith mentally prepared herself.

She hadn't done any training alone with the girls. Usually Buffy would lead and she'd just follow along. Buffy was the teacher, Buffy was the experienced one and the group's leader. Faith was more of… the hot assistant teacher. She was good at giving pointers and helping the girls individually, but she had never taught the group as a whole before.

And it had only been two days since the fight down in the Hellmouth, her leg reminded her with a dull ache. She was still a little tender. The wound was fully sealed, but now she was rocking the scarring and bruising look under the bandage.

Right. Let's just… pretend to be B. I can do that. I've done it before.

Yeah, no. Let's not think about that. That didn't end well.

The sea of eyes were looking expectantly at her, waiting for her to begin whatever lesson she had planned for them.

"Where's Buffy?"

"Buffy's feelin' a little under the weather. It's just you and me today kiddies," she said with a forced bravado.

The seconds stretched out as Faith's mind hit a blank. What was she supposed to do with them? How was she supposed to start? Should she just pick up a weapon and say, Okay guys, we're going to learn how to use a battle axe today.

Kennedy, who was standing near the front of the group, rolled her eyes at the Slayer's obvious hesitation. "Why don't we start with a warm-up?" She offered.

Good plan.

"Good plan, Kenn."

Faith would never admit that a warm-up had never occurred to her. She was a little frazzled at the moment. But they didn't have to know that.

She gave a thankful smirk to Kennedy. The girl was a natural born leader. A bit of a brat, but still a leader. Faith had noticed Kennedy had become sort of the head honcho for the teens, and that she had taken the roll quite readily, enjoying being at the top of the food chain.

If me or B kick it during this, my money's on her being Called next.

She took a deep breath, forcing herself to calm down. They weren't going to listen to her if she stayed all nervous, and she wasn't going to do a good job is she stayed all panicked and brain-missing.

Then the smile appeared. Oh, hey. Is that what a good idea feels like?

Suddenly Faith knew exactly what she was going to do to warm the girls up and start off the session: a breathing exercise. It was something she'd learned in prison and knew it was the right way to start off. The Potentials were green when it came to fighting, and they all seemed to have mass amounts of pent-up energy; Faith felt they could do with being centered before kicking into action.

"Alright, I know a lot of you have been training with B for a few weeks now and have had the full Slayer experience. I also know that some of you have only been here a few days and don't really have a clue what's going on. Now, props to Buffy, because she's great at teaching you something no matter how much experience you've had. But it's hard working with a group of kids with different experience levels. So today we're gonna start by going over the basics."

A few of the girls looked relieved, glad they weren't going to be fighting with weapons or sparing right off the bad. Most of them looked indifferent. And a few, like Kennedy, looked a little smug, no doubt thinking they had the basics in the bag.

Too bad for them.

"I don't mean fighting basics," Faith continued, smiling sweetly at Kennedy, "I mean the basics of being a fighter."

"Isn't that the same thing?"

"No Holly, it isn't. You all know the basic moves Buffy's taught you; you know how to form a punch and how to extend a kick. What I mean is the basics of being a fighter, knowing your body, understanding how you move, and trusting yourself when you think a situation's fucked. You girls have to know that you can get out alive if a demon's coming after you."

"So," she said, walking to the front of the group and facing them, hands on her hips, "how many of you know how to breathe?"

A number of dull and confused faces stared back at her. Amanda meekly raised her hand.

"Yeah?"

"Buffy taught us a few breathing exercises. So did Mr. Giles."

"And?" When the younger brunette didn't answer she continued, "And, what'd they teach you."

Rona took over, "Some weird 'breathe in, hold, breathe out, hold' thing. There was counting involved."

"Anyone else. Any ideas on other ways to breathe?"

Roslin looked bored, "You do mean with our lungs, right? Like, we don't have gills. What exactly do you want us to say? Obviously we all know how to breathe."

Faith sighed internally. She wasn't good at this.

Don't get angry with them. They're only being pissy 'cause they know you don't know what you're doing.

The brunette tried again, "There is more than one way to breathe, especially when exercising. Yes," she looked pointedly at Roslin, "We use our lungs. But breathing isn't only about bringing air in and out of our lungs. It's about enriching the rest of the body.

"Breathing is one of the most basic things you can learn as a fighter. Breathing, when you know how to do it properly, can help you center yourself mentally, calm you down when you're stressed, guide you to finding your center of gravity, or mentally prepare you for something scary you have to do.

"There are lots of different ways to breathe. I'm sure there are books specifically written just on breathing. I could spend hours teaching you different exercises." She paused, emphasising her point, "But we don't have time for that. We've got a big ass group of nasties trying to destroy the world. So we're gonna look at one new way of breathing as a warm-up.

"Don't think of this as a chore," she added, making eye contact with the girls she knew would do just that, "You don't want to be here, I get it. I've been there. I have so been there. But I got over it. I learned that there was a job that needed to be done, and apparently a Higher Power had Chosen me to do it. So don't think of this as somethin' I'm requiring you to do. Think of it as something that will make the rest of today – the rest of this whole fight – go easier. You learn the basics, the harder stuff comes easier. We clear?"

God, I sound like a gym instructor. Better, I sound like B. When did this happen? Since when am I one with the motivation speeches. All I want is an easy way to start today off.

The small talk over, Faith set to work. She faced the girls head on, making sure they were all spread out on the grass, and instructed them to mirror whatever she did. The brunette took a deep breath again, centering herself, and thought about the best way to describe what she wanted them to do.

It came easily to her, she simply thought about how to do the exercise, did it with her own body, and vocalized what she was doing for the teens. She went slowly; watching to make sure everyone was in the right positions as she went through the motions.

"Breathe in. Let your body relax. Feel your weight on the heels of your feet. Bring your hands in front of you, forming a triangle with your thumbs and forefingers. Slowly raise your hands up above your head. Look through the triangle and keep your shoulders relaxed. Now, without moving your hands, gently turn your waist to the right. Keep the rest of your body still. As you turn, inhale through your nose. Don't force the breath; breathe deep, right from your stomach. Now exhale as you slowly turn back to the center. Then breathe in through your nose again as you turn to the left. Keep looking through the triangle. Focus on it and what you can see inside. Slowly keep rotating back and forth."

She broke her own pose, standing still to watch the girls. Some were a little shaky, and there were a few bored faces, but most were doing as she asked and concentrating on their movement and breathing. She started walking between the rows of staggered bodies, like she'd do when Buffy was teaching, correcting posture here and there.

"As you turn, feel your spine becoming longer. Feel your body energizing itself. This time when you turn, try to be aware of your center of gravity, notice how it follows you as you turn."

"How do we know where that is?" Estela asked.

Faith made her way over and tapped the girl's stomach, "Your belly button. No, don't look down at it, keep looking through the triangle. But be aware of your physical center. Feel it move with you as you turn. Try twisting a little deeper, focus on it and how it grounds the rest of your body.

"This is where the core of your power is," she said as she laid her hand on Kennedy stomach. The teenager smirked, cocky-like. Faith rolled her eyes but continued, "Bein' aware of your physical center when your training, sparing, or in combat is important; it's your balance. When you're training, you learn how to shift your weight when you perform different offensive moves, and you learn how you shift your weight differently when you perform defensive moves."

The Slayer continued to weave through the girls, feeling a little mystified at how well they were following her instructions. Since when was she wisdom imparting? Since when did she know how to teach? She was just making it up as she went.

Yet it seemed to be working. The girls were smiling and listening to what she was saying. They were going to get something out of this.

And even though she was making it up as she went, it was all real. She'd learned all this. She hadn't had a chance to learn it when she'd been Called, she'd learned it years later, when it was a lot harder to incorporate simple things into the way she fought. Giving this to the girls right off the bat was important.

"Feel your mind clearing as you breathe through the motions. Can you feel your whole body settling into the natural rhythm?"

A few girls nodded. "Being naturally aware of your center of gravity allows you to know how far you can push your body. It helps you keep your feet under you, and helps you know how to move to correct yourself if you lose your footing."

Damn she'd grown up since the early days. Look at me, being all wise-sensei and shit. She realized she really had matured in prison.

"Keep breathing as you rotate your waist. Try twisting further this time; see how far you can trust your body to go without moving your feet. This exercise helps you know your limits."

One of the girls next to where she was standing snorted at her, "Know your limits? Is this a Drink Responsibly campaign?"

The Slayer whirled; her whole body twisted as her hand shot out towards the arrogant Potential. She purposely stopped short, halting less than an inch before the heel of her hand impacted the girl's stomach.

The girl, Jehora, recoiled back anyway, expecting a blow. Her arms wind-milled as she tried to regain her balance but it didn't work; she fell backward, landing painfully on her backside.

Faith's expression was serious as she looked down at the girl for a moment before offering a hand to pull her up. Jehora hesitated slightly before grasping it and allowing Faith to pull her to her feet. She was frowning deeply and turning red.

Keeping her eyes on the girl in front of her Faith addressed the whole group, "What was the point of this lesson?"

"Breathin'," Rona answered.

"Finding your center of gravity," Kennedy continued. Faith was grateful at least one of them had been listening.

"And what was Jehora not aware of just now? Her center of gravity. I didn't touch you," her trademark smirk broke through the 'tough teacher' look. "Your mind flinched, expecting me to hit you, and your body flinched with you. If you had been aware of your physical center, you would have able to correct it. As your center shifted back, pushing you off balance, you would have naturally extended a leg backward to brace yourself and keep you from falling the moment you realized I wasn't going to hurt you."

She was trying not to be too harsh with the girl. It was a lesson, not a punishment. She was simply making an example of the teen's mistake and her careless attitude.

Dear God I'm totally acting like B. What is going on with me?

She turned away from the embarrassed and red-faced girl, addressing her troops, "I'm not B. I don't have the experience she has. I'm not going to lie to you; most of my time as a Slayer was spent in a coma and in prison. But I'm just as interested in keeping you all alive through all this as she is," she stressed the word, wanting to make her point clear with the Potentials. "B's the hard-ass, but I can be just as mean. Worse. Don't think that because I'm the one teachin' today that you get off easy. Me and B have different styles for fighting, yeah, but everything we tell you is important. A lot of it is stuff we've had to learn the hard way; and by the hard way I mean by almost dying. Actually dying in her case," Faith laughed, making her way back to her original spot at the front of the group.

"Be grateful we can teach this to you before you have to go up against something strong enough to eat all of Rhode Island for lunch. We've both gotten people killed because we didn't know how to fight. Yeah, some of it you have to learn the hard way. But trust me, havin' someone around who's willing to teach you everything they know? You don't turn it down."

Not like I did. Not like I did when B and Giles tried to help me and I turned them down. Look what happened.

I'm not going to let them turn into who I was.

I'm going to get them through this.