A/N: My name, unfortunately, is not J.K. Rowling. Therefore I did not invent this marvelous place called Hogwarts, therefore I have no rights to this story except for the plot and my own characters.
Hi guys,
I'm 46 minutes late but at least I made it! My eyes are falling shut as I'm typing this so I'm sorry for any typos or grammar mistakes you might find (again). Pfft. I need something new to say in these author's notes...
I also got a review today (more accurately yesterday, since it's 1 am) that made me want to set something straight. The reviewer stated that she wanted to smack Nika because of how dependent she was on Sirius and how much she pined after him. Nika might not be one of your traditional strong female characters but let me assure you that she is most definitely strong. I talked about this with one of my best friends, Sarah, and she told me the following about Nika and women in general:
"Some women are strong in different ways, they draw their strength from different places. Real feminists wouldn't put down a woman just because she doesn't fit into their ideal. There is no ideal, that's the point! And Nika IS strong! She's opening up, it's a testament to her strength! Women everywhere pine after men. Women have multitudes! And she thinks about what Sirius would do because he is her strength, her inspiration, helps her believe she can do it, isn't he? He gives her strength and there's nothing wrong with that!"
This was exactly what I was trying to get across. I usually write sassy and outspoken women. Writing Nika was most definitely a challenge for me in that regard, but that doesn't make her any less of a strong female character. A woman that pines or lusts after a man or - God forbid - loves a man isn't automatically weak. The fact that you rely on someone else's strength to help carry your burdens doesn't make you any less of a person. On the contrary, for Nika it's a true display of her bravery and strength because she has always relied on herself. She was only ever dependent on herself before Sirius or Lily came along.
Anyway, what I wanted to say to that reviewer (because she/he reviewed anonymously) is that I'm grateful for your insight. I hope that I have properly explained the way I see Nika and her connection to Sirius now and I'm sorry that I somehow failed to do that for you in the story itself.
That being said, this chapter is a bit of a filler. (One of the last ones, I promise.)
Thank you so much for your reviews and your support guys!
Love,
Kelly
Chapter 50
In this world we're just beginning
To understand the miracle of living,
I was afraid before
But I'm not afraid anymore.
~ Heaven Is A Place On Earth - Belinda Carlisle
His lips were trailing down my shoulder to the hollow of my back. I was staring at the wall through tiny slits as I tried to control my breathing. When Sirius bit a spot on my side, dangerously close to my breast, I gasped.
"You have freckles," Sirius commented between kisses.
"Hm-hm," I acknowledged.
His lips slowly inched towards my breasts as his hands gently turned me around so I lay on my back. His nose nuzzled my bra, and his eyes found mine. I bit my lip, and he playfully bit my nipple through my bra. I couldn't help myself. When I saw the mischief in his eyes, which reminded me so much of a puppy ready to play, I giggled.
Sirius gave me one of his infamous roguish grins, before he slowly moved up my body again and made sure that I felt every inch of his body against mine.
"You're too good at this," I moaned as I closed my eyes when he pressed his hips against mine. I blew the air out of my lungs and enjoyed the feather light kisses he showered on my chin. All right, enough, I thought as I gave him a slight push.
He immediately stopped, and I loved him all the more for it. "Everything all right?"
I grinned and kissed his worried frown away with a quick peck. "Everything's perfect. However I'm a big fan of equal opportunities," I told him as I gently bit his lip.
He growled into my mouth and tried to kiss me more thoroughly, but I pulled back a little. He narrowed his eyes playfully. "Do you now?"
"Such," I breathed as my fingers trailed over his naked shoulders, "a big fan."
"I wouldn't dare keep you from utilizing your equal opportunities," Sirius breathed and I grinned against his mouth before giving first the right and then the left corner a little peck. He turned us around swiftly on my bed so he was now the one on the bottom. I waggled my eyebrows at him and sat up. I kept my gaze firmly on his face, and he cockily stared back at me.
I wished I could be that confident. Even though we had been snogging for what felt like hours and mere seconds at the same time, I still felt quite conscious in my blue bra and pajama bottoms. He had caught me in the midst of getting ready for the day. Today was my fifth day with them and I was loving every second of it. If I was being honest, I had to say I was very fond of our current activity in particular.
I slowly let my eyes travel down to his shoulders. This was only the second time that I saw him without a shirt on, and I tried not to show how angry the small marks that I had only just noticed on his shoulders made me. I knew that his back was a hell of a lot worse and that had been the reason why he refused to show me his back. I hadn't even had a peek at it since that night in the Common Room. I let my eyes focus on the muscles in his shoulders and arms instead and bit my lip in anticipation. I saw his chest rise and fall a little bit faster and was tempted to flash him a triumphant smile. I loved the effect I had on him. I didn't dare look into his eyes though, because I knew that if I did I'd be like pudding in his hands. Instead I tried to focus on his chest, which was absolutely gorgeous. I smiled softly and I heard him sigh.
"If you keep looking at me like that-"
I didn't let him finish that sentence and kissed first his left and then his right nipple. He promptly shut up, and I grinned against his skin. I pulled away again and let my gaze move down to where I knew an ugly scar marred his stomach. Sirius became very still when I slowly bowed my head and kissed every inch of it gently. He was so beautiful to me that it hurt me that someone could ever have hurt him like that. He only started breathing again when I stopped. I gently let my fingers caress his side as I looked up into his eyes. I couldn't exactly name the emotion that lay in his eyes right now, but it hurt me worse than any Cruciatus curse ever could. I moved up again and lay down next to him.
Without saying a word he grabbed my hand. We both stared at the ceiling for a second, before he gave out a loud sigh.
I smiled and turned to my side so I could look at him. I let go of his hand and laid mine on his chest. I started drawing lazy circles around his nipple until we both calmed down and his breathing became more regular.
"Sirius?" I asked him softly.
He didn't say anything but I could tell that I had his undivided attention. "You would tell me if you weren't okay, right?"
He grabbed the hand drawing circles and brought it to his mouth. He kissed my fingers as if that was a proper response to my question. It really wasn't.
"Padfoot," I prodded.
His lips turned into a lazy grin at his nickname. He intertwined our fingers as he stared at our hands. "Would you?"
I stared at our hands now, too. I knew what he was really asking here and that he would never force the answer out of me. I squeezed his hand, and he squeezed back. We didn't speak for a long time, and I couldn't help but wonder what time it was. The sun had risen just as Sirius had slipped into my room so I figured we maybe had about an hour before the house woke up. I laid my head down on his shoulder and told him everything that had happened at the orphanage.
"Lily!" I yelled when I saw her fiery red hair.
Her smile was almost too bright for this overcast day. It made me miss the sun even more. She walked a little bit faster until we were both in each other's arms. I hugged her close. "I've missed you," Lily said with a grin as she pulled back.
"And I you," I grinned back.
"Evans," Sirius said when we released each other.
Lily nodded at him in acknowledgment. "Black." Her eyes quickly moved to Sirius' right and she nodded stiffly again. "Potter."
James waggled his eyebrows at her suggestively. "Lily."
She shook her head in exasperation before she turned to me with an accusatory look in her eyes.
I laughed and hooked my arm in hers. "Just ignore him, Lily. He's trying to rile you up."
"I'm well aware," she huffed. "Doesn't mean it isn't working."
I shook my head at her and sent Sirius a look over my shoulder. He gave me a wink, and I turned back around with a broad smile.
"Oh Merlin," Lily sighed as she studied me, "I'm going to spend a lot of time with James Potter this year, aren't I?"
I laughed. "Nobody's going to make you spend time with him, Lils."
She shook her head with a small smile. "It'll be inevitable," she shrugged. "I'll just have to get used to all the nicknames coming my way."
"If it really bothers you-" I started, but she shushed me with a wild hand gesture.
"Oh, stop it, Nika. I'm just happy to finally see you opening up," she grinned, before she turned serious. "He is treating you well, right?" Her tone suggested that she'd hex him into the next century if he wasn't. Her protectiveness of me warmed my heart, but I had decided that I wouldn't get emotional today. So I decided to tease her a little bit instead.
I gave her a mock gasp. "Lily Evans, are you asking me about Sirius Black's performance in the sack?"
"Lily is what?" I heard James squeak somewhere behind us.
Lily unhooked our arms and gave me a light push. I laughed a little before I quickly moved to her side again.
"He's treating me extremely well, Lily," I promised her in a whisper. "I can't complain about a single thing."
Lily seemed impressed. "So you did – erhm – shag him?"
I snorted very unladylike. Really? "No, Lily, and he's keeping me more than satisfied without the shagging."
"That good?" she asked, her eyebrows shooting up in disbelief.
"That man's got mad skills, Lily," I whispered back.
"You lucky witch," she said on a normal tone, shaking her head.
I nodded. "So, Lily, anywhere you want to go first?" Diagon Alley was unusually deserted for this time of year. Normally, the streets would be bustling with customers but the crowd was noticeably thinner.
If Lily seemed to notice, she didn't comment on it. "How about we get our supplies first and then go for a drink?"
I nodded before turning around to face the lads. "Sorry, boys, this is where we part ways."
Sirius clutched his chest. "Be still, my heart, are we breaking up already?"
I stuck out my tongue at him.
He stuck out his in response.
"You two are such toddlers," James pointed out.
"Excuse me, Princess Prongs," Sirius said loudly, using the petname he'd come rather fond of in the last few days, "but I'm not the one who threw a hissy when he found out his favourite pants had a hole in it."
I giggled when I saw Lily's eyebrows shoot up once more at the mention of Sirius' new nickname for James. I had no idea what had caused him to call James that, but James most certainly didn't like it.
"Bugger off, Padfoot."
Sirius made loud kissing noises next to James' ear, and the latter tried to push him away in response before he stalked away without another word.
Sirius grinned and threw me a noisy kiss as well. He turned around to watch his best mate disappear. "Aww, Prongs, honey," he shouted after James, as he walked away from us, "don't be like that. I was only talking to her for a second. I still love you best, I swear!"
"He's such a prat," Lily said, her voice shaking with withheld laughter. One shared look was all it took for us to burst into loud giggles.
"They're insane."
"Bloody bonkers," I agreed.
After we'd found all of our supplies, Lily and I went to the Leaky Cauldron for some butterbeer. We were talking about Lily's sister, Petunia, who was as of now engaged.
"I don't understand her," Lily muttered darkly. "She's still so young, and she's already binding herself to one man? Why by Merlin's pants would she do that? She must have completely lost her mind!"
I shrugged. "Maybe she's just madly in love. Don't they say that everything's fair in love and war? What do your parents say?"
Lily rolled her eyes at that. "Oh, they aren't exactly fond of the idea of Petunia marrying Vernon, but they love her."
I gave her a look. "It's her decision though, if she wants to marry someone named Dursley," Lily shivered, "then that's her choice."
She shook her head with a heavy sigh. "I don't think I'll marry young myself. Especially not with this war going on! Too many people are making too many rash decisions right now."
"The war hasn't officially started yet," I pointed out, curious as to what she would say to that. It was true. The Ministry still hadn't issued a warning or given a formal statement about the current situation.
"The war has been going on for years," Lily said fiercely, "it's only just now that we have started to notice."
Our conversation fell silent after that. I had already told her about the orphanage and my cousin and she had been both shocked and horrified at the news. We were still moodily staring at our butterbeer, thinking about the dark future ahead of us, when the boys joined us once more.
We chatted idly for a couple of minutes before we said our goodbyes. Lily and I promised to write each other every other day until we saw each other at school again. Lily swore that she wouldn't survive Petunia's drama otherwise.
"She's lovely, isn't she?" James asked Sirius as we watched Lily disappear into the masses of London's finest Muggles.
"Yeah, mate," Sirius agreed with his eyes fixed on me, "she sure is."
