Rather than Let Chance Take Me

I slipped out of bed and got ready for the day, easily falling back into my usual routine before all this Second Great Prophecy shit. Only now I didn't have to worry about chores or waiting for Mr. D to call on me to go down into the Underworld, or retrieve something of his he left in some nightclub, or bar, or arcade in New York proper.

There was an air of grief about me, though. I felt like I'd just lost Luke all over again. But our parting had given me some sort of closure to his death, to the fact I wouldn't be able to save him like Orpheus tried to save Eurydice. It all still hurt and ached, though. I would still need time to process.

Audrey II stayed attached to my hip. When we went up to go visit Peleus that morning, she flew off my shoulder and greeted him like an old friend. And I had to wonder if they'd known each other before Audrey II had come to camp. Even before she'd met me on the Argo II.

I hummed a soft tune, leaning against Peleus, Audrey II in my lap, and we watched the sunrise together. It was the most peaceful I had ever felt since Luke had passed. (Even my prickles seemed to be on their best behavior.)

Once the sun had fully risen, I stood and stretched.

"All right big guy, I'm gonna head back down. I'll come visit you this afternoon, though, all right?" I told Peleus.

He huffed and blew smoke, moving his head in such a way that made it look like he was rolling his eyes.

Which made me roll my eyes as Audrey II settled on my shoulders. "You're such a brat." I started down the hill by Peleus bumped my back with his snout, nearly sending me down the hill face-first. "I'll see you later!" I called over my shoulder once I'd regained my footing and continued down the hill.

Someone was standing on the porch of the Apollo cabin as I approached. It took me an obscenely long amount of time to figure out who it was, since he wasn't facing me. Might've been the lighting too.

"Jason?" I asked, as I took the steps two at a time, stopping a few feet away from him. It looked like he was just about to knock.

Jason jumped a mile before spinning around. His hair was disheveled and his glasses were askew on his face. I wondered if he knew about his glasses. I fought the impulse to reach out and correct it for him.

"Oh, I thought you'd be—" He looked back at the door, pointing, then looked back at me, stepping closer and clearing his throat. "I wanted to give you this." Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a small square piece of paper, though it looked thicker than regular paper.

I took it and nearly dropped it like it'd shocked me. My eyes flew up to Jason in question and surprise.

"I found it in my cabin," Jason said, fiddling with his hands and shifting on his feet awkwardly. "I think it was Thalia's. I…figured she didn't want it anymore since she…you know, left it in there. This is just one, just in case she ever wanted them back. I figured she wouldn't miss one."

It was thicker than regular paper because it was a picture from one of those tourist photobooths. In it were a younger, happier Annabeth, Thalia, and Luke. It must've been taken when they'd been on the run together. They looked so carefree, my heart ached. But I was mostly looking at Luke. He looked so happy. No scar marred his face.

"Well, thank you, but why…?" I asked, lowering the photo.

Jason blushed. "I know we've had our differences, but after everything the Greek and Roman camps have been through, everything I've been through, it's really taught me to see things through a different lens." He got more serious and pointed to the photo. "I know you loved Luke a lot. I wasn't sure if you had any pictures of him, and if you did, it was probably very little. So I thought maybe you'd want that."

"That was…thoughtful."

"You sound surprised." Jason pouted, his eyebrows knitting together.

"I'm just not used to this…getting a long thing, I guess." I met his eyes. "Thank you. I mean it, thank you."

Hunching his shoulders, Jason nodded. "Of course. Uh, now if you'll excuse me, I want to go talk to Nico before he performs a disappearing act."

I nodded and stepped aside. I knew that feeling.

My siblings were up early to check in on the wounded and do last-minute check-ups and treatments before the Roman camp left. I joined them in the infirmary to help in any way I could. Despite whatever relationship I had with Apollo now, I still couldn't magically heal. Dan was up and helping, the crutches not slowing him down one bit. Viola followed him around, carrying any supplies he needed.

I saw Will loitering in the separate doorway to the infirmary. I approached him, patting him on the shoulder to let him know I was there, before leaning on the other side, watching campers crisscross the green. In the distance, the Roman camp was packing up.

"We're glad you're okay," Will said. "I know we haven't had time to show it, but we're all glad you made it back alive."

I looked over at him, wondering what that was about. "I know. It's been a rough few days. A war just ended. We've been busy and exhausted. I don't blame you. I'm…glad to see you guys again."

"You aren't running around doing chores," Will noted. "Does this mean…?"

I smiled, feeling almost giddy now that I'd had time to start processing everything—the good and the bad. "I had another trial with the gods. I'm not completely off the hook, but I'm no longer Mr. D's personal assistant."

Will smiled. "That's good to hear."

"Yeah…" I took a breath. This was a good segue, and I'd have to tell him, all of them, the news eventually. "Especially since I won't be staying at camp anymore."

I think my half-brother may have almost lost his balance and fallen down the steps that led up to the door. His head whipped to look at me, eyes wide. His emotions flickered from anger to disbelief to sadness.

"Look, if this is about what we said— What I said—" he started.

"It's not." I interrupted in a clear, sure voice. "Not entirely at least." I admitted. "I've changed, Will. A lot. And…" I shook my head, looking out at camp. "This just doesn't feel like home anymore."

"You can't just leave," Will argued. His toned fought between anger and sadness. "We've always been there for you. Just because we don't like your boyfriend doesn't mean you need to—"

"I told you, it's not about that." I snapped. Will clenched his jaw. I tried to control my tone, make it softer. "I know that you've always supported me. And I will always be grateful for that. I love you guys so much." I paused to let that sink in. "But I need to do this for me. I need to venture out on my own. I need to know that I can do this—whatever 'this' is—by myself.

"You guys have always been there to catch me. And I appreciate that so much. But if you're always there, I never get to know what it feels like to catch myself. I don't know what it feels like to hit solid ground. I just feel like I don't have anything to stand on, support myself with. And I need to find that. Alone.

"And, of course, if I ever need you, any of you, I'll let you know. I'm not trying to push away your support, and I am most definitely not devaluing it. But it's important I figure this out for myself. I can't do that if I'm here. I hope you'll understand that."

"I guess I do," he muttered, tears in his eyes. "But I don't have to like it."

"It's okay if you don't," I told him. "Like it or understand it. I just want you to respect it and let me go."

Will turned to face the green again, his arms crossed tightly over his chest. He was glaring and pouting, so this conversation wasn't over, but he needed to time to think of a response. Or an argument to get me to stay. Will could be stubborn like that. Though, he also seemed angry at me. I think he thought I was lying to him when I said it wasn't completely about what he and the others had said.

After a long, awkward silence, I saw Will's posture stiffen, like he noticed someone. I followed his line of sight and saw Nico down the way, talking with Jason outside of the Hades cabin.

Grinning, I looked back at my brother. "A little birdie told me you went on a special mission with a certain son of Hades."

I watched in amusement as Will's neck and face turned red.

"Oh my gods, we are not talking about this right now," he muttered.

I looked back at Nico and waved at him, motioning him to come over.

Will spun on me, looking mortified. "Did you just call him over here?" he hissed.

"You did fine with him during the battle, right? Why's now any different?" I asked.

I didn't think his face could get any redder, but it did as he spluttered, trying to respond. Meanwhile, Nico was getting ever closer.

"B-because! It is, okay!" Will finally spat out.

"I'm glad that you've forgiven him for the things he said. I don't know how much he told you, but it's been rough for him. I hope you can understand that."

Will calmed down a little. "He didn't tell me anything, but…I think I figured it out. From what he said to me before shit hit the fan. I have to remember that he's from a different time. And…I think it's important to give people second chances to learn and grow." He paused. "But did you really have to call him over here?"

"Oh, don't think I haven't noticed how disappointed you've been these past two days. And I have a feeling it's because Nico hasn't visited you."

"The one time you decide to be observant, it's now?"

I grinned, snickering. "If it makes you feel any better, I haven't really seen him much these past two days, either." Not totally a lie.

"No, because, last I checked, you don't have a crush on him!"

"Crush on whom?" Nico asked, as he came into earshot.

"Nico!" Will shouted in horror, turning to face him. The son of Hades froze, eyes wide. "Where have you been?" Will demanded, his voice more composed, trying to hide his blush and his nerves. I don't think it was working, but I didn't think Nico would think anything of it. Well, maybe that Will was weird.

"…what do you mean?" Nico asked.

"I've been stuck in the infirmary for, like, two days. You don't come by. You don't offer to help," Will said, easing back into a less-nervous state.

"I…what?" Nico also seemed to be getting over his shock at Will's strong come-on a moment ago. "Why would you want a son of Hades in the same room with people you're trying to heal? Why would anyone want that?"

"You can't help out a friend? Maybe cut bandages?" Will asked.

I slapped his arm playfully. "Hey, that's my job!"

"Guess you haven't been a great job, then, huh?" Nico asked.

My jaw dropped and I looked at him. "If you're going to be working in the infirmary, your bedside manners could use some work."

Nico laughed, which died out when he realized we weren't entirely joking. "You seriously want me in the infirmary?" he asked, shaking his head.

"I mean, even a simple, 'How's it going, Will?' would've been fine. You don't think I could stand to see a friendly face?" Will asked.

"What…my face?"

"Of course," I said, smiling. "You're always welcome, Nico." I winked at him, hoping he got the, I told you so; he's not mad at you at all.

Nico's returning smile told me he'd gotten the message. But he was also a sarcastic little shit.

"Well, I suppose I could…help out a little," he started. "But I'm a busy guy, you know. Burial rites don't just give themselves."

"Then doctor's orders, I'm putting you on infirmary arrest for at least three days," Will responded.

Nico's jaw dropped. I was shocked at Will's quick come-back.

"That's right di Angelo," Will continued. "You used your powers a lot. Too much, in fact. Any more, and you'll melt into a puddle of darkness. You honestly think I'd let that happen on my watch? Three days, starting now."

Nico looked at me for help.

I shrugged. "I know Will enough to know that I'd be of no help. There's no changing his mind on this. Also, he's right: You should rest. You used your powers more than a demigod should."

Nico opened his mouth to respond, but was interrupted by a loud whoop! across the green. We all looked to see Percy and Annabeth celebrating something. They were standing near the hearth in the center of the green.

"Looks they just got some good news," Will commented.

Nico looked away. "Yeah."

"Will did say now, Nico," I said loudly, to pull their attention away from whatever had happened at the hearth. I stepped aside and gestured inside with my head. "We have a cot open with your name on it."

Nico started up the steps. "Har har."

I looked back at Percy and Annabeth one last time before turning back into the infirmary. Will was already instructing Nico about how he could help out while he was here.

"And, remember, no powers," Will said.

Nico rolled his eyes. "I don't need Underworld powers to cut bandages."

I couldn't help but laugh at their interaction.


It was just after lunch. The Roman camp had left hours ago. Since we were still getting things back in order because of the war, we didn't have any activity schedules we needed to follow quite yet. I spent most of my day in the empty amphitheater, playing my guitar and singing, experimenting with the flames of the campfire. With permission from Chiron, of course.

If I focused, I could make the flames dance with images.

I had wondered, at first, if it was the song I sang, but I tested it with a multitude of songs, from different genres and with different melodies. I'd come to the conclusion it was most likely the feeling behind the lyrics. This was something I had learned with the song Gaea had given me. If I didn't connect to it emotionally, my music didn't have a strong effect.

I sat on the edge of the stage, off to the side of the flames. I let the sun warm me up, keep my chronic pain away (I mean, pain meds helped with this, too). Audrey II was dozing next to me, her head resting on my thigh.

As I picked and plucked at the strings of my guitar, I heard footsteps approaching. I stopped playing and looked up to see Annabeth and Percy appear. I felt my stomach clench in anticipation and anxiety. I had hoped to talk to them about our situation ever since the Second Titan War.

But they'd gone off to school that year. While I'd been stuck at camp, running myself ragged with the upkeep and doing errands for Mr. D. So, of course, during winter break, the one time we might have had time to talk, Percy gets kidnapped, which sets in motion the Second Great Prophecy.

And, sure, I had talked with Annabeth a lot before Piper showed up. But it was mostly about coping with losing Percy like she did. We rarely spoke of Luke. The subject of him was like a grenade, and his name was the pin. I felt like if I said it, I was pulling the pin and throwing the grenade.

I didn't even know if that was what they were here to talk about, but that's what came to mind when I saw them.

Still, I smiled and waved.

"Hey," I said.

"Hey," they responded in sync before blushing. My heart ached just watching them. I thought of Styx's words, my sentencing: I wasn't allowed to bring him back. I had the only power I needed, and I still couldn't reach him.

"We wanted to talk to you—" Annabeth began, but I held up my hand.

"Wait, I want to show you something," I said. "If that's all right?"

They exchanged a glance, having a silent conversation. When they looked back at me, they shrugged in unison (wow, did I really look like that when I was with Luke?) before taking a seat in the lowest stand of the amphitheater.

I don't know what compelled me to do it. Maybe it was to calm my nerves, I always felt better after singing or playing my guitar. Or maybe I was stalling. Either way, I knew exactly what I wanted to play for them.

It was a song that took me back to a simpler time. Not necessarily a good time, but everything during the titan war seemed so much simpler. How ironic was that. Almost unfair.

I had found a cassette tape on Luke's cruise ship because I liked to wander, to get away from everything for a while. I thought it was a mixtape, but it was actually a collection of songs from the same artist. Thanks to Leo's tech that was safer for demigods to use on the Argo II, I was able to look up the artist and the name of the song: "Boats & BIrds" by Gregory and the Hawk.

I began to play, keeping my gaze on the campfire, watching it as I sang. Instead of growing in height or changing in color like it usually would in other situations, the flames flickered and morphed, showing a story of two people who fell in love, took a risk, and lost it all. But there was something hopeful to this story, to this song. And while the melody was melancholy, the lyrics spoke of something promising for the future.

I couldn't help but smile when I saw Annabeth and Percy's eyes widen in wonder and amazement when the flames began to dance.

When I finished, I gave them a moment to wipe their misty eyes. I watched them in my peripherals, keeping my eyes on the flames. After a quiet moment, I finally focused on them.

"So, you wanted to talk?" I asked. My nerves returned (which aggravated my prickles). The music had helped, but I could still feel them. What did they want to say? Would they bring up Luke? Or would I have to? Was anything that happened in the Second Titan War even going to be brought up?

"Yes, but…uh, why don't we take a walk?" Annabeth suggested standing. Percy stood too, and they immediately took each other's hands.

I nodded ignoring the painful throb in my chest. "Sure." I pushed my guitar to my back before gently taking Audrey II into my arms and standing. She shifted to my shoulders, drooping around my neck. Just as well, it allowed me to grip the strap of my guitar so I could keep my nerves in check. Though, nothing would be able to calm my rapid heartbeat.

We exited the amphitheater, where kids were going back and forth from activity to activity. We hadn't quite gotten back into the groove of usual camp life, but we were starting to. It was more or less a free-day, but a lot of campers had fallen back into their usual routine. A lot were still in and out of the infirmary. I'd taken a break from helping out, figuring Will had a good helper in Nico. And Viola was happily helping Dan.

It was silent between us. I wasn't sure who was going to break the ice first, but I certainly didn't want to be the one to. So I waited for one of them to say something. I wanted to know where this conversation was headed before I jumped right in and possibly talked about something that they hadn't been expecting to talk to me about.

From what I could tell, we were heading toward the beach. We'd just passed the Arts and Crafts building when Percy finally spoke up.

"Nico told us," he began, "about…about your punishment. For the Second Titan War."

I stumbled and froze. I didn't know what to say to that. Of all the things that I thought they might want to talk about, my punishment had been the farthest thing from my mind.

Percy and Annabeth didn't notice I'd stopped until a few feet away. They turned to face me and when they did, I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out. My face must've said it all, though.

"Well, Hazel told us, really," Annabeth amended. They stepped closer to me. "Nico had told Hazel during your time on the Argo II? She had said something that had set him off, I guess, and he kind of blurted out about your punishment. When Percy and I came back—I don't know, I guess I must've said something that set Hazel off. And she told me about it. Of course, I told Percy."

I took a moment to process all the information. I was disappointed that Nico hadn't told me—maybe he'd forgotten?—but I knew he hadn't meant to reveal that to Hazel, I'm sure. And I'm sure Hazel hadn't meant to reveal that to Annabeth, either.

But now…they knew. I don't know why I thought that prospect was so horrifying. Even facing it now, the world hadn't ended. I just hadn't wanted them to know. Maybe I wanted them to keep their faith, their optimism in the gods for as long as possible. Maybe I didn't want them to become so bitter and jaded as Luke, so a vengeful titan wouldn't prey on their thoughts and manipulate their minds.

With them, though, I didn't think they needed the help of an immortal to take down the gods.

Looking at them now told me they had already lost it. Annabeth sooner than Percy.

I blinked rapidly and continued walking, gripping my guitar strap. "Well, it doesn't really matter now because I'm off the hook." I told them. They quickly caught up to me. "I mean, sort of. But the terms of my previous punishment are no longer intact."

"You mean you were still punished for what happened in this war?" Percy asked just as there was a loud noise—like pipes bursting. Someone screamed and ran out of the outdoor bathrooms that were between the cabins and the Arts and Crafts building.

We all stopped. Annabeth stepped closer to Percy, gripping his hand, her other hand gently turning him to face her.

I glanced back at the bathrooms, allowing them a moment of privacy. I could hear the faint rushing of water, and could see as it flowed out the open doorway.

Had Percy done that? I looked at him from the corners of my eyes. Was he really that angry? Or was he just powerful? Or both?

Something told me it was both.

I looked back at the bathrooms one last time. That was a bit frightening, that he could do that so casually. I'd heard the anger in his voice, but to make the pipes burst in the bathroom without any other indication in his body that he'd done that meant his powers had grown. Exponentially.

Finally, I looked back at Percy and Annabeth. Percy seemed to have calmed down? It was hard to tell, considering he'd seemed perfectly calm before. Annabeth looked scared. Percy looked disappointed, as well as scared. They both looked tired.

I felt my heart shoot into my throat. Something had happened between them. I would have to ask them about it later. If they would even be willing to tell me.

"It's more complicated than that," I said, bringing their attention back to me. "They rewarded me in some respects, but punished me in others for…I don't know, I guess endangering your lives. Helping Gaea, probably. But, look, it really doesn't matter—"

"Of course it does!" Percy burst. I thought another pipe might burst, but there were no other screams from the outdoor bathrooms. He turned to face me fully. His eyes swirled with anger, dark eyebrows smashed together. It reminded me too much of Luke, when he was talking about how much he hated the gods.

The three of us looked around as people stopped to look because of Percy's outburst. Annabeth reached up with her free hand to gently tug on the sleeve of Percy's tee.

"Come on, we should keep walking," she coaxed in a gentle tone.

Percy's shoulders relaxed, though his expression stayed angry, and he nodded. We kept walking.

"If I had known that the gods didn't hold up their end of the bargain—" Percy muttered, his free hand furling into a fist.

"You couldn't have done anything about it, even if you wanted to," I interrupted in a firm voice. "You had already given them your request, and they're notorious for finding loopholes."

Percy shook his head and let out a frustrated sigh. "Still, there must have been something I could have done. The gods—" He broke off, letting out an angered hiss.

I stopped. "Percy." They stopped and Percy faced me. He seemed startled at my harsh tone. "Don't dwell on this. Please."

"You're asking me to just let it go?"

Behind him, I could see the lake start to churn.

"Yes," I told him firmly. "For your sake."

Annabeth squeezed his hand and Percy looked at her. They had another silent conversation. Percy's angered expression melted into something almost fearful again, before relaxing completely. Annabeth looked relieved. More confirmation that something had happened, and I had little doubt it was bad.

We continued walking once again.

"Can I at least say I'm—" Percy began.

"No. You have nothing to be sorry for. You didn't know the gods wouldn't uphold their end of the deal. And it's not your job to make sure they do."

We finally made it to the beach. The sound of the waves crashing against the sand was nice. The breeze, the fresh air, it was all very therapeutic.

We took a seat in a small triangle so Annabeth and Percy could keep holding hands, and we could all see each other. I shifted my guitar into my lap so I could keep it as clean as possible. Audrey II was content to stay around my neck.

"Tori, I wanted to talk to you about Luke," Annabeth finally said. I almost didn't hear her above the sound of the waves.

"Yeah." Great response for a conversation that'd been a long time coming.

A sudden overwhelming fear that she was going to tell me how much she actually hated him swept over me like one of the swells. I had to fight to keep myself from inducing a panic attack. My prickles burst painfully.

"It's more about…well, it's more about our relationship, than about Luke. But he's related, I guess." Was it just me or did her voice sound hoarse? At least I wasn't the only one whose heart hurt when talking about Luke.

I almost told her that didn't matter, either. But seeing as I had wished for this moment for months now told me that it mattered a lot to me. I wanted to clear the air with both of them. And as uncomfortable as it was making me, this was the only way to do it.

"I didn't trust you for a long time," Annabeth began. "And…I guess part of that was because I was jealous of your relationship with Luke. The other part thought, how could someone love him and not…think like him? Take his side on everything? Which included Kronos's lies. Which I guess is kind of hypocritical of me." She laughed, but it was sarcastic and harsh. "But you were closer. More intimate. Some part of me didn't want to trust you because you always acted for Luke. Not the gods. Not the titans. But for Luke.

"In a way, that made you a wild card. One moment, you were helping the gods. The next, you were on the side of the titans. If only because it suited who you needed to be, what you needed to do, for Luke. As a strategist, I didn't like it. As someone who cared very much for—" She broke off abruptly, blushing, her eyes flickering over to Percy. "For a lot of people, my family, my hope, I hated it.

"I don't know how much I trusted you after Luke died, maybe more than I did before. You helped me when Percy disappeared"—her eyes tightened and she gripped Percy's hand tighter—"with no reason to do so…well, it did change my mind a lot about you. However, you still seemed like a wild card to me. Even wilder now that Luke was gone. I couldn't pinpoint anything you were fighting for. It was very narrow-minded of me, and I apologize for that. But I've learned and seen a lot these past few months. Helping me, hearing that you went through Tartarus with Nico, and then finding out about your punishment—I just want to say I'm sorry for having so many doubts about you.

"I still think you're a wild card, but I know that when it comes down to it, you'll…side with the gods."

"You're mistaken," I said. Annabeth blinked, taken aback. Percy looked confused and guarded. "I didn't help kill the giants for the gods—I did it for you. For…for all demigods. It was never about the gods." I paused to let that sink in, then, "And thank you for apologizing. I hope this means that…we can be friends."

At first, I was afraid that I'd said the opposite of what they wanted to hear—that I had just ruined all my chances at making peace with, at least, Annabeth. (Percy, I was less concerned about. It was obvious he thought of me as a friend already. Had for a while now.) But then she smiled slowly.

"Yes, I think we can be friends," Annabeth said.

I sighed and returned her smile. But it faded quickly. "Hey, so…and you don't have to tell me if you don't want to, but what happened back there? With the pipes? And the lake?"

Percy's eyes darkened, reminding me yet again of the look Luke got, and Annabeth tensed. Her expression was bordering terrified, which only did to scare me.

"You don't—" I started, looking back and forth, from one to the other.

"We met the goddess of misery," Percy said, cutting me off. His voice was low and, honestly, quite scary. "She was trying to poison us." His tone was frustrated now. He looked at a spot in the sand, eyes unfocused. "I needed to protect Annabeth." His expression turned tiredly desperate before he brought his free hand to cover his eyes, his fingers gripping some of the hair at his widow's peak. "But…" He shook his head.

Annabeth was holding his one hand in both of his and stroking the back of his hand. Her gaze was on him, soft and loving. But when she turned to look at me and pick up where Percy broke off, she got a scared look in her eye.

"His powers got out of control," she managed, her voice wavering. "He began to control the poison, moved it toward her. She was choking on the poison's fumes, and Percy was relentless—"

She broke off and looked away, biting her lip. Her hands stopped moving.

"You're scared," I said. They didn't move, but Annabeth had relaxed. She was now looking down at a spot in the sand, her eyes tired, shoulders slumped. "But it'll be okay." Annabeth's head snapped up, and Percy inclined his head up, but didn't remove his hand that was shielding his eyes.

"There's some old story that my mom used to tell me about when I was very little," I began, rolling my eyes just because it seemed ridiculous considering we lived a story every day of our lives. "It's about these two wolves that live inside us. One of them is every negative emotion you can think of. The other is every positive emotion. And she told me—she said, the one that grows, is the one you feed."

I held out my hand and said, "Percy." I waited for him to look up. His eyes flickered to my hand before he slowly reached out and took it. I gave it a reassuring squeeze, smiling at him, then Annabeth. I looked back at Percy. "It's going to be all right. You have the love and support from your mom. And Annabeth. And your step-dad. You brother, Tyson. Your friends—Grover and Jason, Frank, Hazel, Piper"—I almost said Leo, but caught myself—"not to mention the entire camp.

"The road ahead may be rough, believe me I know. But you guys are going to be all right. And, I just want you guys to know that if you need anything, you can always come to me. I'll be an IM, phone call, wind-spirit letter away." I pulled my hand back.

Percy's eyebrows furrowed. "You're…you're not staying at camp?"

"Oh." I hadn't meant to reveal that. "Oh, well, no. I…I decided I need to get away from this place for a little while. After everything that happened, I think that's what would be best for me."

Percy nodded. It looked like he wanted to say something, but opted to say, "Thank you," instead. "For all of that."

Annabeth smiled at me.

I tried for a small smile back. "Of course. So…what are your plans, if I may?"

Their expressions brightened even more and they looked at each other in excitement. "We'll be spending our senior year together," Annabeth said, "here in New York. And after graduation…"

Percy looked at me, pumping his fist with his free hand. "College in New Rome! Four years with no monsters to fight, no battles, no stupid prophecies. Just me and Annabeth, and our degrees, hanging out in cafés, enjoying California—"

"And after that," Annabeth continued, pulling Percy's attention back to her. She looked over at me. "Well, Reyna and Frank said we could live in New Rome as long as we like."

I felt a smile stretch across my face. Tears burned my eyes, and I hoped they would think it was happy tears for them.

"That sounds wonderful," I said. "I'm so happy for you." And I was. Despite the ache in my chest.


Things were still busy in the Apollo's cabin's infirmary. Even with the Roman camp gone, there were still plenty of people to tend to, who'd incurred more serious injuries. Not to mention, since camp was slowly getting back into its usual swing, we had campers coming to the infirmary to treat injuries from activities.

Nico was dutifully helping out Will. Well, as far as I could tell. When I'd gone in after breakfast for a quick round of check-ups, Nico was nowhere to be seen, even though I'd seen him leave the pavilion and head back to the Apollo cabin. I was temped to check the Big House infirmary, but knew Nico couldn't have snuck past me, for I'd headed back to the Apollo cabin soon after he had. (Audrey II, was snoozing on my pillow in the Apollo cabin, having gotten more comfortable with being away from me for short periods of time. Which was too bad for my pinpricks, but I didn't want to disturb her sleep.)

After making my rounds, I was passing our storage closet (I say closet, it was actually quite big and spacious, more like a walk-in closet) when I heard someone rummaging around in there.

I carefully opened the door and peeked in. Sure enough, Nico was there, looking at all our supplies.

I slipped inside.

"Hiding from Will?" I asked, causing Nico to jump and nearly drop what he was holding before he sloppily tried to put it back on the self. It only made a bigger mess, so Nico spun around to hide it and smiled nervously at me.

"Taking inventory," he replied, waving a package of bandages he was still holding.

I walked in further, eyeing his mess before fingering the clipboard hanging from a nail on the side of the first shelf you see when you walk in.

"Without the clipboard?" I raised any eyebrow and looked back at Nico.

He sighed, his shoulders sagging. "I know Will meant well inviting me to help out," he muttered, turning and putting the bandages he was holding back on the shelf. He turned back to me, ignoring the others that'd spilled onto the floor. "But the looks I get when I go 'help' Will check-up on patients from the patients…well, it reminds me why I didn't want to stay at camp in the first place.

"Staying overnight with them is even worse," he muttered, sitting down against a shelf adjacent to the bandages, bringing his knees up to his chest, resting his arms on his knees, and settling his chin on his arms.

I locked the door and went to sit down next to Nico. I kept my legs outstretched and crossed my ankles, clasping my hands in my lap. I stared at the fallen bandages.

"Well, I guess it's really up to you if you want to stay," I finally said, not quite sure what else to say. I didn't want to give him false hope, but I was sure there were others here at camp that would get used to his death aura, and the way he could sneak up on you without making a sound. I mean, I had gotten used to it. Will didn't seem to mind.

"The kids love you," I said.

Nico snorted. "See how long that lasts." He paused. "I told Jason I was planning on staying, but I don't know anymore."

"You should stay somewhere," I said. "I mean, I think you should."

"Are you seriously trying to get me to settle down? At my age?"

I rolled my eyes and laughed, playfully shoving Nico's shoulder with my own. That got a smile from him.

"It's up to you, though." I sighed and rested my head back against the cabinets. I would have to take some pain meds after this. "I don't know if this is going to have an precedence on what you decide but…I won't be staying."

I was met with shocked silence. Maybe now wasn't a very good time, either, but now seemed like a better time than before. Also, I was afraid if I waited any longer, he might find out from someone else, since he was saying around the Apollo cabin so much.

"What do you mean?" Nico finally asked.

"I can't stay here anymore." I closed my eyes. "I found out what Dan really thought of Luke. What he thought of me when I was with Luke. What my siblings thought of him. What I imagine a lot of people feel about him. And I just…" I shook my head, bringing it away from the cabinets. "I feel like I'm in hostile territory. Like the only reason I slightly get along with everyone is because if I stay away from them, they stay away from me.

"Maybe my siblings have been secretly threatening everyone." I snorted, but sobered quickly. "It's not just that, though." I mimicked Nico then, pulling my knees up to my chest and resting my chin on my knees. "I need to move on. From Luke. And I don't know if I can do that here with them smothering me. It's not entirely them that's doing it; I've been enabling them to act like this crutch that I don't need anymore. I just think I need it. It's not fair to any of us if I stay and keep using them like that."

I looked over at Nico. "I can't go far. I'm limited to New York's five boroughs. So if you ever need anything, you can always come to me. Crash at my place if you need some space from camp. Anything, Nico. Regardless if you stay at camp or not."

Nico looked at me unblinking before resting his chin on folded arms, again. I could see the gears turning in his head as he thought. I moved, standing to pick up the bandages and began tidying them up again on the their designated shelf spot.

"You really think I should stay?" Nico asked just as I was finishing arranging the bandages. I turned to look at him. He was still sitting on the floor. I sat down again, to be at his level, but leaned up against the shelves with the bandages, adjacent to Nico.

"I think if you did, you'd find people who you could find friends in. I think if you did, you might also break some stereotypes regarding who your father is, and what children of Hades are like." I paused. "But, it's not your obligation to do that. You don't have any obligation to stay, either. Other than the fact that Will might put up a fight. And you'd probably have to figure out how to navigate without your powers."

"But you're definitely not staying?" he asked.

I shook my head, giving him a sad smile. "It's rotten timing—I wish I could be here for you. And the others. But I need time away from this place. I feel like I can't breathe anymore, like the protective barrier is closing in on me. It won't be immediate, there are a lot of logistics I need to work out, but I'm for sure leaving."

"I'll miss you," Nico mumbled.

I smiled tenderly at him before laughing and mussing up his hair. "Aw, I'll miss you, too!" I would save the sentimentality for when we actually said goodbye. I didn't want to have to say goodbye to someone so soon after….

Nico yelped and slapped my hand away, his face turning beet red. I pulled my legs, sitting crisscross, still chuckling.

"I think you'd be happier staying in one place," I continued. "It doesn't have to be camp. But since I do work in the infirmary, I can pull a few strings and get those campers moved to the Big House infirmary." This got an eye-roll from Nico. "You can still help at either, and since Will is adamant you stay in the infirmary, you can stay in ours so there won't be any other campers to make you feel uncomfortable."

Nico was still blushing, and he was half-hiding in his arms. He was also glaring at me, but I could tell he wasn't actually mad at me.

"Yeah, I suppose that wouldn't be too bad," he mumbled.

"Great! I'll get started on that right away." I stood and stretched. Nico stood, too, sighing.

"You're a handful," he muttered, shaking his head. Then he looked at me with a sardonic half-smile.

I grinned back, reaching up to muss his hair up again.

"Ack!" he exclaimed, swatting my hand away again. His blush deepened. "You know I hate it when you do that. Besides, I'm, like, as tall as you now."

I made an irritated noise. "Why does everyone always think height dictates seniority. Honestly. I'm nine years your senior, Nico."

Nico huffed and crossed his arm, pouting.

"Come on, Will will probably be wondering where we are by now." I jerked my head to the door, heading over to it and unlocking it. "I'll get started on moving everyone to the Big House infirmary now that there's space again."

I didn't look to see if Nico followed me, but a moment later I heard footsteps and a door softly close.

I would miss him when he left. I just hoped he remembered that he could come to me whenever, if needed.


I was leaning against the railing of the pier down at the lake. It was late afternoon. I was watching the reflection of the willow tree ripple as a warm summer breeze blow across the waters. My eyes strayed farther right to see the field of daffodils next to the lake and the willow. I felt an ache blossom in my chest (and my prickles respond), remembering Styx's words.

Only misery. I could've laughed when she'd said that—I had already seen the face of Misery. In Tartarus. You'd think that'd be enough.

Footsteps sounded at the end of the pier and I looked to see Dan making his way toward me. I turned back to the waters and waited for him to join me. When he got the railing, he rested his crutches against it. The crutches were specially made by the Hephaestus cabin—ergonomic, they took the pressure off the underarm. His elbow rested in some sort of cradle at a natural angle with handles lower down for him to hold on to.

Dan leaned his elbows on the topmost railing. He scanned the waters.

"You've been avoiding me," he said.

"We've both been busy," I responded, looking down at my hands, gripping the railing.

Dan sighed. "I guess you're right. I guess I'm…just still adjusting to…"

"I did it to save your life," I mumbled. My knuckles began turning white, fingers aching, but I didn't loosen my grip. (Honestly, I had just taken some pain meds!)

"I know, and I'm grateful. Grateful I'll get to see Antoinette again. My friends." Dan paused and I looked at him through the corners of my eyes. His eyes were misting. He swallowed hard before speaking again, "It's just…it's going to take time to get used to." He looked down at his leg.

I followed his gaze. His left pant leg was tied into a knot, the rest of the pant hanging loosely.

"Does it hurt?" I asked, glancing back up at my brother.

"More than I thought it would." He chuckled, but it was pained. "You know, for it not being there anymore."

"Side-effect of the venom," I asked, though it didn't really sound like a question.

Dan shook his head, looking back out at the lake. "More like phantom limb."

I nodded, also looking out at the lake once again.

"It's not like I can complain that much," Dan said.

"Oh, you can totally complain," I corrected.

Dan rolled his eyes and continued, "The Hephaestus kids promised to make me a high-tech prosthetic. You should've seen them try to argue why it would be a good idea to have a flamethrower installed."

We both laughed. It was a nice, to hear him genuinely laugh. I was sure these past few days had been hard for him.

"You could conceal a weapon," I suggested.

"Only a dagger, or a short sword."

"Guess it's time you brush up on your dagger skills then, hm?"

Dan could only manage a half-hearted, single laugh this time. "Yeah."

More silence formed between us. Audrey II was off visiting with Peleus, so I didn't have her comforting warmth.

I was content to just listen to the breeze in the trees, the birds chirping, the lapping of the water against the dock.

But I also knew Dan had come and found me for a reason.

"Listen," he began, "about what I said…when Gaea kidnapped me—"

"It doesn't matter." Of course, it did matter. A lot. I couldn't stop thinking about the tone of his voice, the look on his face. His words. It had bothered me, haunted me so much I'd had to ask my siblings about it, just to feel like I wasn't suffocating. Part of me was just glad that compulsion hadn't spread to the whole camp. Yet.

I don't know why I'd lied to him.

"No, it does," Dan responded harshly. "Don't lie to me."

Especially when I knew he would know I was lying.

Unwanted tears filled my eyes and I turned my head away, hoping he hadn't seen. My prickles burst.

"What do you want me to say?" I asked, trying to control my voice. "If I told you how much it hurt me, you'd apologize and I don't want you to because I know you meant every word."

"It's more about him than you, you know," Dan said angrily.

My head whipped around to look at him. "I know!" I snapped. "But I love him, remember. How you feel about him effects me."

Dan sighed, looking tired, all anger draining from his features. He shifted so that his whole body was facing me. "I didn't come here to fight."

"No, you came here to apologize, and I don't want you to." My tone was a bit harsher than I intended, but I couldn't help it. I was still mentally and physically exhausted from everything that'd happened. I was still trying to wrap my head around losing Nick, Reed, and Leo. And Styx's warning/threat. And feeling like I'd lost Luke a second time. Not to mention feeling like a stranger in a place I'd called home for so long. I was doing surprisingly well, comparatively. How long that would last, I wasn't sure.

"I still feel bad about it," Dan said. "If I had known—"

"Your opinion wouldn't have change a bit, you just wouldn't have said those things to me," I interrupted, facing him fully as well.

Dan's eyebrows furrowed and his mouth pulled down into a deep frown. "Can you blame me? I only feel that way because I care about your wellbeing, Tori. I didn't think Luke was good for you."

"Uh, yes, I can blame you," I told him. He rolled his eyes. "And I don't agree with your assessment. But that doesn't mean that I…stop loving you. Or stop loving our siblings. I can be angry at and still love you guys, you know."

"I know that," Dan responded.

"Then why—"

"Because I don't want you to leave camp."

I paused, my response dying in my throat. Not that I really knew what I was going to say, since I didn't know why he'd brought all this up. Now that I knew, it was weird how much I wasn't expecting to hear that come from him.

Sighing, I turned back to the railing, leaning against it.

"That's part of the reason why I am leaving camp," I murmured. "I'm trying to prove to myself that I'm strong enough to live without Luke."

"So you'd reject support from our siblings? From me? By shipping out?"

I gave my brother the side-eye. "That's not the same thing. Your support should be unconditional. And I shouldn't have to physically be present for you to give it to me. If I want to leave, then you should support me in that. If I need more than moral support or kind words, I'll let you guys know." I turned to face him again. "You live outside of camp, anyhow. This isn't any different. And it's not like I'm going to just up and leave, let the wind take me where it will. I'm going to find a job and a place to stay before I leave camp. And I'm planning to keep going to therapy, okay? I know what I'm doing."

I turned to face the lake, resting my elbow on the railing, and my chin in the palm of my hand.

"I'm just worried," Dan mumbled. He shifted to face the lake again, too.

"And that's totally fine. But you can't convince me to change my mind. I've made my decision and I plan to stick to it." I paused and looked down at the lapping waves, letting my arm drop, and bringing my other arm up to rest on the railing. "Camp just…doesn't feel like home anymore."


So…jeez, I'm not really sure what happened, but this is technically the last chapter? It feels weird to end it this open. Like, I was planning on writing an open-end, but this feels more open than my last story, lol. I say this because this next "chapter" is only 3 pages, and that just…feels too short to really call a proper chapter, you feel?

But I will be posting one last, very, extremely short chapter—it's really an epilogue more than anything else.

There will be an important note (though, you may already know what I'm going to say in this note; at the very least, you won't be surprised when you read it) at the end of next week's chapter, so stay tuned! I mean, also stayed tuned for the last chapter, but there will be a fun note at the end, too, that I hope you'll read.

Not much else by way of notes.

Title is taken from "So Anyway" from the musical, Next to Normal. If you listen to the song, it talks about a lot of what Tori was talking about in this chapter—especially the "solid ground" bit; that I got from the song. It makes more sense if you go and listen to the entire musical, but if you just listen to it by itself with this chapter in mind, it should still make sense.

As always, I hope you enjoyed! Comments are much appreciated! ^_^

Thank you for reading,
TheBrigtestNight