As we cross the imaginary boundary that defines the outer limits of the Sol system, the group of misfits and wanderers I have come to think of as family begins to assemble around Joker's station. Ash is there before me, fidgeting aimlessly in EDI's seat. Garrus and Tali come in together, and Tali immediately burrows under my arm to hug me. James and Sam hover near the airlock, as though unwilling to intrude as we five, those of us who first stood with Shepard against Saren, bring her ship home. It feels like a lifetime ago; so much has changed, so much has passed. We have learned so much, lost so much, but we still have each other.
I feel hollow; sick with anticipation and worry. My fingers knot in the fabric of Tali's suit, a physical anchor to the quarian's support. My mind will not focus, my thoughts swinging wildy back and forth between how sick and nervous I feel and the memory of having stood at this terrible crossroads once before. Sitting in the escape pod, eyes glued to the search and rescue telemetry readout... Last time I dared to hope. Last time my hope was smashed against the immutable reality of death. Goddess, could the universe be so cruel as to do that to me again? So cruel as to do that to Shepard again? Of course it could, my fear whispers, insidious.
Joker runs a scan of the system, and his eyebrows climb. "No Reaper signatures. Alliance, Turian, Asari - whoah, there's my beautiful blue bitch with the big gun."
"The Destiny Ascension?" I query in surprise.
"Yeah, prissy name, but man was she ever a glorious sight in that battle, pounding away at those bastards. Matriarch Lidanya's got a pair, uh... so to speak." Joker frowns as he checks his data. "OK, no threat detected. There are hundreds of Reaper ships out there, but they're all inactive. Looks like we..." he takes a deep, reverential breath, then whispers, "holy hell, we won!"
"Recheck and confirm," Ash orders crisply. "We're taking no chances."
"Aye aye." Joker runs the scan again. "Confirmed. All the Reapers have gone bye-bye."
No more Reapers. It seems incredible, but... "Goddess. We did it."
James and Garrus bump fists, grinning broadly. "All right!" James crows.
The comm. traffic alert begins to blink on Joker's interface, and he gestures to Ash. She nods, and he taps the blinking light, allowing a male human voice to fill the cockpit. "Incoming vessel, this is the Systems Alliance Cruiser Shenyang, please identify and validate IFF transmission. We are reading you as SSV Normandy."
"Shenyang, confirmed, this is the Systems Alliance Frigate Normandy, attached to Special Tactics and Reconnaissance," Ash responds. "This is Lieutenant Commander Ashley Williams, Systems Alliance Navy, acting CO. Sending my ident code and biometric data, and ship's validation data packet for confirmation."
"Copy that, transmission received. Standby, please, Commander Williams." The Shenyang's comms officer is a stickler for protocol, it seems; tense minutes elapse before the channel reopens.
"Normandy, this is Shenyang. Welcome home. Admiral Hackett's compliments; you are to proceed to make dock with the SSV Aconcagua in Mars orbit. Commander Williams, the Admiral would like to see you and a Dr. Liara T'Soni, if present, as soon as you dock."
Ash hesitates for a moment, shooting me a quick, pained glance, then replies, "Acknowledged, Shenyang, it's good to be home. Thanks for the welcome. Please confirm to the Admiral that Dr. T'Soni and I will present ourselves as soon as possible."
"Wilco, Commander. Godspeed. Shenyang out."
"Why would Hackett want to see me?" I wonder aloud. Looking round, I see Vega's grim expression as he watches Ash, and Traynor biting her lip. Joker hangs his head, and Ash looks down at the interface for a long moment before she answers me.
"Normally, if someone's commanding officer wants to speak to their next of kin it's not good news." She moves to my side and hugs me. "I'm sorry, Liara."
I close my eyes and fight down the surge of grief that tries to rise inside me. Not until I have proof, I remind myself, not until I have seen Rachel's body will I believe that she is lost to me. It is the last anchor I have to cling to, and for the moment, it is holding. "Nothing about our situation is normal, Ash. And why would I be Shepard's next of kin?"
Ash looks a little surprised at this. "She didn't tell you? She updated her personnel records just before we left the Citadel that last time. Fixed her biometric data after that clone fritzed with it, and added you as her legal partner. She wanted there to be a record of your relationship, something formal that couldn't be ignored, so you would have the right to..." Ash trails off, grimacing.
Tears sting my eyes at the revelation. She didn't tell me. Maybe she was intending to and never found the time - Goddess knows we didn't talk much, those last nights. Whatever the reason, if it means I will not find out what happened second-hand, that is a small mercy. "No, she didn't tell me," I answer Ash's question.
"I'm sure she was planning to," Ash says awkwardly. "Anyway, come on, we should get ready."
ooooo
Ash hovers protectively over me as we leave the Normandy for the Aconcagua, but there is no real need. Hackett's administrative officer, Major Friedrich, meets us directly at the airlock and escorts us to a private briefing room.
Hackett is waiting, and he looks years younger than he did the last time I saw him. Some of his burdens have been laid down with our victory, and he smiles broadly as we enter. "Thanks, Markus," he dismisses Friedrich. "Ah ah, no need to stand on ceremony," he rebukes Ash, seizing her hand to shake it vigorously as she tries to salute him. "Hell of a job, Commander, bringing the Normandy home."
"Thank you, sir. Commander Shepard would kick my ass if she thought I'd let anything happen to that bird, sir."
Hackett's grin widens. "Williams, I swear, you're about as subtle as a sledgehammer, a trait you share with your grandfather, under whom I had the privilege of serving many years ago."
Ash flicks a meaningful glance toward me. "Thank you, sir. It's just...we owe the Doc everything, sir. I'd be a poor friend if I didn't try to help her out."
"We do indeed owe the Doc everything," Hackett agrees. "Liara - may I call you Liara?"
"Please do, Admiral."
"Steven," he corrects me warmly. "It's been made abundantly clear to me that without your diligent research and assistance with credits, materiel, and supplies, we could never have hoped to win this. Both you and Commander Shepard were tireless in your pursuit of this victory, and it's only fair that your part in it be acknowledged."
"That's kind of you, Steven, but I don't need any formal thanks, or any reward. The galaxy is safe, which we all worked so hard to achieve, and there is... only one thing in this universe that I want." I try to form the question, but the words won't come. Where is she? What happened to her? Did you find her, on the Citadel? She would have been on the Citadel. Joker heard her there.
"Well, regardless of what you need, in due time I'm sure the galactic community will find a way to thank you. As to what you want," he smiles again, "I think I can help with that. This is classified so high that even I'm not supposed to tell anyone, but if I can't trust a Spectre and the Shadow Broker with a secret, it's a pretty shoddy galaxy you've saved."
He's being oblique in that irritating fashion humans so delight in, and I do not understand what he's getting at, but Ash's eyes go very wide. "You're shitting me!" she exclaims, followed by a belated, "Sir!"
"I shit you not, LC," Hackett chuckles, then he turns to me. "I'm sorry, Liara, forgive me a moment of levity. I have good news for you. We recovered Commander Shepard alive from the Citadel. She was very badly wounded, and her cybernetics had shut down, but as luck would have it, there was a specialist available to treat her. She's out of danger, although I believe she still has a long way to go to recover completely."
I don't believe it. For a moment, I can't. This is exactly what I have been hoping, wishing, praying for, and to have it dropped into my lap so simply...
The room spins, and I take a step back and sit down hard as my knees buckle. Fortunately, Ash has a hold of my elbow and guides my fall into a chair behind me. "It's really true?" I hear myself ask from very far away, shock and disbelief ringing in my tone. "She's really...?"
"It's true," Hackett confirms with a smile. "I visited her yesterday."
"Is she...?" I don't know what I want to ask. Is she all right? Does she remember everything? How badly was she injured? Abruptly, I remember Garrus carrying her into the medbay after the mission to save the fuel refinery on Cyone, weeks ago. She'd been shot in the abdomen... unconscious, scarlet blood running freely down Garrus' arms, dripping onto the floor. Her face chalk white, her expression hatefully slack. As Garrus lays her out on the bed, I see the front of her armour is slick and shiny with blood. The sight roots me to the spot; nausea boils in my stomach and I feel hot and cold at the same time, light-headed. I have seen Rachel injured before, but never seriously. My chest tightens with the beginnings of panic. Chakwas looks up from her diagnosis and scowls. "Garrus, get Liara out of here, now!"
"She's going to be fine, Liara," Hackett says firmly, snapping me back to the present.
"Goddess, thank you..." I whisper, burying my face in my hands as my tears flow, tears of relief and unalloyed joy, tears of anguish. I'm shivering uncontrollably, overwhelmed by the rioting conflict of my emotions. I want to laugh and cry and scream, all at once. Oh, Rachel, thank the Goddess.
Arms wrap around my shoulders, human hair tickles my face, and I realise Ash is hugging me. I look up to see possibly the broadest smile I have ever seen on Williams' face. My own grin ignites in response and the two of us are giggling like children in seconds.
Hackett bears the emotional outburst with good grace, waiting patiently for us to recover our breath. "Commander, you can inform the Normandy's crew, on condition of radio silence. Liara, as Shepard's next of kin you are, of course, permitted access to her at the hospital. I'll arrange transport down as soon as possible."
"Dr. Chakwas should come with me," I suggest immediately. If Rachel's implants are causing trouble, Karin's experience will be needed, and I want someone she knows there with her.
"Indeed she should," Hackett agrees with a smile. "I won't keep you, Liara, you have places to be. Major Friedrich will see to your needs. Commander Williams, stick around - I'd like to hear what the Normandy's been up to."
After surprising Hackett with a fierce hug and a kiss, I practically run back to the Normandy, charging through the CIC, across the crew deck and bursting breathlessly through the door of the medbay to grab Karin in a victorious bear hug.
"Liara!" the doctor splutters, "what on Earth..."
"She's alive, Karin! Rachel's alive!" I half-laugh, half-sob, tears still streaming down my face.
Chakwas steps back and looks at me with a fond smile, then embraces me again. "Oh, Liara, that's wonderful news. God knows it's what I've been praying for. I take it I'm needed to attend?"
"Please, Karin, would you? I would like that. She's still recovering, and you know so much about her implants. I know she'll feel better with you there rather than strangers." I'm babbling, a deep, delirious joy starting to bubble in the pit of my stomach. I'm beginning to feel somewhat light-headed.
Chakwas grins. "Oh, I wouldn't bet on that. The good Lord only knows what people who don't know her would let her get away with." She picks up her field bag, always to hand at her desk, and gestures to the door. "Lead on, Liara. Let's go see our wounded hero."
