Lou stepped out of her SUV and walked to the back door to help Katie out from the car. The little girl had been full of energy on their way home - she had been taking turns singing and playing a game of "I Spy" with herself - while Lou had spent the time thinking of how to prepare herself for the changes that were going to happen in the following days. If she had learned anything in her thirty-two-years of life, it was that things usually seemed worse than they actually were.
So maybe this was one of those things too.
"Okay, Katie, let's go inside", Lou said as the little girl hopped down from the backseat with her backpack.
"When can I go back to play with Abraham?" Katie asked. She acted as if it had been months since they had last played together, even though they had built sand castles not more than thirty minutes before.
"I don't know when we can go there again. But I do know that his mom promised to come visit us sometime, so you two can play again soon hopefully. And when they do come here, you can show Abraham all the animals. I bet he'd like that", Lou replied, trying to give Katie something to look forward to so she wouldn't feel too bummed about not being able to stay longer at Vanessa's.
"When is "soon"? Tomorrow?" Katie tried to guess, a pleading tone in her voice.
"I don't know. It's really up to Abraham and his mother", Lou said, positioning her purse on her shoulder and taking Katie by the hand as they walked inside the house.
Katie didn't seem to like Lou's answer, so she replied: "Can we call them?"
"Maybe later", Lou replied, hoping that the girl would not continue talking about this subject much longer. She understood that Katie wanted to be with her friend, but as an adult she knew that they had to take other things than her needs into account. Like Lou not wanting to bother Vanessa too much. She felt like she had taken a big slice of her day already with the babysitting gig and she didn't want to take away anymore of her time with her son than she already had. Lou knew that Vanessa wasn't as lucky as she was; even though Vanessa had custody of Abraham, the boy still saw his father every week and when he did, Vanessa came home from work to an empty apartment. Lou couldn't imagine living like that. She was so used to not only having her girls living with her, but the rest of the family as well.
Lou was pretty sure the fear of Peter wanting to take the girls with him to Vancouver had passed, but who was to say that Peter was not at least considering having the girls come and visit him every once in a while now that things had shifted and he had become more aware of their everyday life and Lou's role as a mother. It was still something they needed to discuss before Lou could say for sure that the girls would stay here with her.
"We're home", Lou called out to Georgie and Peter as she and Katie entered the house. The little girl ditched her backpack in the mudroom bench and rushed to see what her father and sister were doing. As Lou removed her shoes and set her purse aside, she noticed Georgie stirring something on the stove and Peter setting the table. "Something smells good…"
"Dad and I are making lunch from the left overs", Georgie said. Lou was impressed, not only because Georgie was willingly spending time with them, but also because the girl didn't seem that anxious anymore - on the contrary, she seemed relaxed and focused. "It should be ready soon."
"Can I help?" Lou offered, already rolling her sleeves.
"No, absolutely not", Peter replied as he denied Lou's attempts to join them in the kitchen. "Why don't you go play with Katie?" he suggested as he returned to the kitchen to get the glasses. When he saw the look on Lou's face, he decided to clear things up. "No offence, but you're not doing anything today. We are in charge. Right, Georgie?" he asked as he checked with the young girl as she worked at the stove.
"What he said", Georgie replied as she turned to wave off her mom, before turning her attention back to the stove to check on the food.
"Wait, where's Adam?" Lou asked when she realized he still wasn't here even though he had promised to be there by now. She looked around, hoping to catch a glimpse of him.
"He texted. Said he can't make it - mentioned something about a debate team I think, but I really can't remember", Georgie explained. To be honest, she actually did not care what his reason had been. The boy loved school and all its activities so much that it made him seem kind of dull and not fun to be around at times. "He wanted me to pass on his apologies. He said he'll call you later to make a new appointment."
"Okay… Well, I hope he'll make one soon because you can't fall behind", Lou replied a worried look on her face. When Peter saw that Lou was starting to stress again, he decided maybe she could use something to do as Katie had already busied herself in the living room playing with her dolls.
"Why don't you go see if Amy is finished with her chores?" Peter suggested as he knew Lou was not good at doing nothing. "And I think I saw Jack and Lisa dismount few minutes ago in front of the barn. Can you tell them that lunch is almost ready."
"Oh, okay. I can do that", Lou said, nodding. "Do you need anything else?"
Peter shook his head. "Nope, just that."
Lou returned to the mudroom and put her shoes back on and started to leave for the barn.
"Can I help, Daddy?" Katie asked as she came back to the kitchen to see what was going on.
Before Lou could turn around and remind Katie not go anywhere near sharp objects, Peter was already gently refusing the girl's offer. "I think we're good, sweetheart. How about you go with Mommy and see how the real Pogie is doing and bring GG and Lisa back for lunch?"
"Okay", Katie agreed, rushing to her mother and taking her hand, pulling her toward the door. "Let's go, Mommy!"
Lou glanced at Peter as she was being pulled out the door and mouthed "thank you", before she went outside with Katie.
"You and Mom seem better", Georgie had to comment when Peter could not stop smiling, even after Lou had left the house.
Peter jerked his head from behind the cabinet door, trying to decipher Georgie's tone. He had thought their civil attitude to be a good thing, but now he wondered was it confusing for Georgie to have her parents seem to get happier the closer they were to a divorce? Did it send her a message that the marriage had been a mistake and now they were going to make everything okay by this separation?
Peter didn't want that.
"Yeah, I guess we are. This living apart thing hasn't been necessarily a bad thing, it has given us room to think about all kinds of things", Peter explained while taking out seven glasses for lunch. "And you know, even though I'm living in Vancouver and your mom is living here, it doesn't mean that we don't still care about each other. It's just… things are confusing right now and we are trying to figure them out. I don't want you to think that I'm happier in Vancouver or that I don't miss you guys when I'm there, because I do miss you, all the time."
"Then how come you don't visit us more?" Georgie asked. "I like it better when you are here. I think Lou likes it too", she confessed. Georgie knew sometimes Lou was so stubborn she forgot to say what really mattered and focused on things that actually weren't that important to disguise her fragile heart.
Peter closed the cabinet door, thinking how he could possibly put all the feelings and the moments shared between him and Lou into a sentence that would make sense for someone who had not lived through it. Because no matter how he might spin it, it was never as simple as it sounded.
"Maybe I will. That's what I'm here to figure out", Peter finally said. After all, he had made that phone call to Vancouver earlier, trying to think of an alternative way for them to live together, even if they would still be apart. But he wasn't ready to share that plan with anyone, he had to figure it out himself first; was it what he really wanted and how would that change things with Lou? "I think that's ready", he said, then pointing to the food on the stove, simultaneously moving on from the subject. "Why don't you get it on the table. I think the others will be inside soon."
"Okay", Georgie replied.
Seemed like maybe Lou wasn't the only one disguising their fragile heart.
