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Chapter 53 – who would have guessed
The library was silent after Izzy and Dean dropped a metaphorical bomb on Sam, Damon and Bonnie. They left them to deal with it, because they can't do anything else. No words were spoken. They were overwhelmed and need time to process it. It only has been a month since the three of them became an item, it is still so new and now they learn that it somehow was faith. That they always would have ended up together.
All of them have to come to terms with it and everything it includes. Overcoming their fears for Bobby, a future family member, the first Harsesis Child in a millennia is some heavy stuff. At the moment it is the hardest for Sam. After some moments he couldn't sit still anymore and started to pace through the library. He feels the eyes of the others on him as he paces, but they have to wait, because at the moment he has to fight against urge.
Demon blood, his addition, his biggest fear and biggest flaw, something he has to fight, because who wants to be an addicted, especially addicted to that stuff. But since his last trip all does years ago, he was able to fight it. Simply for the reason, that they never let the demons they fight against bleed anymore, they kill them with Rubys knife and that was it. The pull was there, every time and it still was hard even without the blood, like it is now. He makes a fist to get some of his composure back, but he still shakes a bit.
After watching him pace for 10 minutes without saying anything, Bonnie had enough. She sees him struggle, but doesn't know how to help him at the moment. "Sam." she tries, but he didn't react, so she says his name again, this time louder and with a little more force. "SAM."
That got his attention. He stops in his tracks and looks at Bonne and Damon, two people, who mean so much to him. He had forgotten that they still were in the room with him. Their glances were worried, questionable and curious. He doesn't want to lose them, because he doesn't know if he can overcome his biggest fear, to have a setback with his addiction. Should that happen he believes that he will be on his own again.
"What is it, Sam?" Bonnie asks him and he doesn't know what to tell her or better them. But he figures that the blow of losing them would be easier now than after investing more feelings. Without looking at them he starts his confession. It is easier to tell them without seeing their judgment in their eyes. "I am not Mister Perfect … I am not a GOOD guy."
Bonnie stops him before he can go on. "We already talked about it … we all have baggage … even if you and Damon don't talk about it. … We all did some bad things, some more than others." Bonnie looked at Damon as she said that. He doesn't have a problem with his actions; he always was the bad brother after all.
Sam didn't see the exchange. He was in his own world focused on his own guilt as he answered. "But you aren't the reason that the world was almost destroyed." he stops there.
As he didn't go on and provide them with more information it was Damon who asked. "What do you mean?" He was intrigued by that confession.
"We not only stopped the apocalypse … we are the reason that it started in the first place."
"Come again?" Bonnie wants to know.
"To start the apocalypse 66 seals out of hundreds have to be broken before Lucifer can walk free. Only the first and the last seal are specific, the others are more random. … Dean broke the first one … and I broke the last." The longer his confession went on, the more silent he becomes. The last part was only in a whisper.
"What were the seals?" Damon wants to know, while Bonnie simply asked. "Did you know that you broke a seal or was it unintentional?"
"Of course we didn't know that we would break a seal with our actions. The first seal was … a righteous man will shed blood in hell and the last seal was Lilith, she was the first demon and she had to be killed so that Lucifer could walk free. …. I killed her with my powers."
"Powers?" they ask at the same time, the rest was forgotten for the moment.
"Yeah it all started as I was six months old the Yellow Eyed Demon, who wanted the apocalypse to happen feed me some of his blood and killed my mother in a fire for it. In the beginning I only had visions about the future with an enormous headache, but after Ruby and with Dean being in hell I started to work more with my powers."
"Who is Ruby?" Bonnie wants to know, while Damon asks him. "Dean was in hell, what for and how did he get out?" Interesting on what different people concentrate.
"He went to hell, because of me. I was death for two days, before he broke and then he sold his soul. But instead of 10 years he only got one, because they needed him for the first seal. Cas saved him. He was down under for four months at least up here; there it was more like 40 years. During that time the demon Ruby and I got friendly, if you know what I mean and she started my addiction."
"'One hell of a story, I knew you were a bad boy." Damon says and wants to lighten the mood with it, because he can feel that Sam struggles with his confession.
"Yeah I always was more at home in the grey area. Dean always saw the world only in black and white." he smiles a bit, even if he didn't fully reaches his eyes he still was grateful for Damon's actions.
"What is your addiction?" Bonnie wants to know after a short silence.
"I drunk demon blood and fell for it. I could exorcise demons with my hands." Sam answers truthfully.
"I am not the only blood sucker in this love triangle."
"Very funny." Sam says without any humor.
Bonnie can see that he still struggles with it. "Sam we will figure it out. I think that is one of the reasons why we are destined."
"What do you mean?" both men want to know.
"According to Izzy's dream we all have a role in this triangle … I am the scale. I don't do only good or only bad things. My actions are somehow balanced. While you Sam." she looks at him directly after he finally looked at them again. "do bad things with good intentions. Damon on the other hand does good things with bad intentions." she looks at Damon while she tells them that. Then she takes Damon's hand, gets up and brings him to Sam with her, before she takes his hand. "We are the tree sides of the same triangle and I think together we can figure a way out of these trials."
In her face Sam doesn't see any pity or worry, but simply honesty. She means what she says with all her heart, he can't do anything other than kiss her, so he does just that. After a short passionate kiss, Sam looks at Damon and sees that he accepts him like this as well. Never before did Sam feels so whole in his own body, like now. Even Dean needed some time to accept his doings to let them be brothers again. But those two accept him like he is without any problems. So like he kissed Bonnie, he kisses Damon for a short moment.
After they break the kiss Sam looks at Bonnie again and asks. "What is the other reason?"
She smiles at him and finds it funny that he has forgotten what they have found during their research time. "Don't you remember that we already read about guardians for a Harsesis child."
Right, he took over from there to inform Damon, who doesn't know. They didn't inform the others, because they thought at it wasn't important. "Guardians watch over the child in question, protect it, guide it and they always have to show that they can protect their charge."
"So Bobby needs us and we help protect him, but how does it differ from Jo and Kais duty?" Damon wants to know.
"They are like teachers, which we are as well, but they don't love him, because" Bonnie answers, but Sam interrupts her.
"Guardians are always family members, who love the child with all their heart."
Surprisingly Damon declared in a hard tone. "That we do."
They all look at each other and without words understand that they always would keep Bobby save. He is blood, he is family and they love him.
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