Here it is chapter update. Sad to say there will only be two chapters left after this and then the epilogue. This was going to be the second last chapter but I decided to break it up. Anyways thank you all so much for the reviews and I hope you like this update.
Decisions had been made, plans had been put in place, the talk had finally sorted out a lot of things for both Rachel and Quinn. I had been painful to say the least, many tears had been shed as they discussed what would happen over the next several months and more importantly, what would happen after. They both agreed that whatever happened, Charlotte was their priority and Quinn made a promise to her wife and their daughter, that she would everything she could to give Charlotte the best life possible, even if she had to do it as a single parent.
Quinn didn't want to be a single parent, and Rachel didn't want her wife to have to raise their daughter without her, but that was the hand they had been dealt and the least Rachel could do was make sure that her family had a strong support system in place once she was gone. Numerous conversations had been had between the diva and her numerous friends and her own fathers. Even though in her heart she knew they would be there for her wife and daughter, she needed to hear from them personally so that she would have that piece of mind and they all vowed to watch out for Quinn and Charlotte, to be there for them whenever they needed a shoulder to lean on.
Santana had been particularly adamant in her declaration. Anyone else would have seen it as Santana just being the hard assed lawyer sealing the deal so she they could move on to whatever came next, but Rachel knew better than that. She could see it in the Latina's eyes whenever she looked at her friend. Santana was scared of losing control of her emotions, like Quinn, she needed to feel in control of what was going on around her, which usually meant that rather than opening up and dealing with her feelings, she retreated to lawyer mode. Treat everything like a client that needed to be dealt with, seal the deal, and then move on.
For the time being, Rachel was prepared to put up with her friends and her family putting on a brave face, because at least that way she wouldn't have to deal with tears and sad faces while she tried to live out the rest of her days as best she could. But she made a silent vow to herself that she would make it a point to talk to them all when the time came closer to the end. She wanted them to know how much she loved them all how grateful she was to have known them. Sure it sounded sappy, but Rachel didn't care, those people were the greatest people she has ever known and she was going to make sure they knew that.
In the meantime, Rachel was determined to make the most of the time she had left, recently indulging a skiing trip in Switzerland. She had never been skiing before and it was something she had always wanted to try. So, once Quinn had finished the last of her scenes for her movie, the blonde had booked them a private chalet and the hopped on a private jet, Santana, Brittany, Puck, Ben, Nicole, Kurt and Blaine tagging along to make it a group trip. It was an amazing, hitting the slopes during the day and snuggling in front of an open fire at night. Charlotte particularly enjoyed sliding down the slope on the inflatable ring with her Mama.
While in Europe, the girls decided to take in some sights, revisiting old favourites as well a taking in new ones. The rest of the group travelled home, leaving Quinn, Rachel and Charlotte to enjoy a family expedition. From the south of France to Austria, where Rachel couldn't help herself but sing songs from The Sound of Music much to Charlotte's delight. They took in Holland, the Czech Republic, and then onto Poland where Rachel took her family to visit Auschwitz so she could see the conditions her ancestors were forced to endure before finding freedom and immigrating to America.
Although they had been informed beforehand that the visit was likely to be emotional, as it was for most people who made the trip, but neither girl expected it to be quite so life affirming. To think that so many people had been so ruthlessly murder on those grounds, and for what? Because some crazed man who felt he had the right to play God and choose who lives and who dies. It made them both sick to their stomach. It was one thing to read about the events of WWII in a history book but to actually step foot on ground that held so much of the suffering it caused it made the whole things so much more real.
Both Quinn and Rachel were so grateful for the freedom they had, afforded to them by the people who came before them. Here they were, two openly gay women, one a Catholic the other a Jew, married with a beautiful daughter and accept by most people they came in contact with. Sure they still received the odd stare or a remark but they didn't take it to heart. They couldn't make everyone accept their lifestyle but the fact that so many had, showed them how far many people had come in accepting love for what it is.
The trip to Auschwitz gave them a deeper understanding of how fortunate they were and both of them hoped that Charlotte grew up with a deep understanding of that too. Before they left, Rachel placed a bouquet of white roses she had brought with her by the fence outside and said a prayer in Hebrew. Quinn wasn't familiar with it so she said her own prayer before clutching her wife's hand in her own and they walked away.
Continuing on their family trip they stopped off in London and then Manchester so Charlotte could take in her first Utd game, even dressing her in the cute jersey Puck had bought for her before she was born that Quinn had remembered to pack. They had the perfect view from their private box and the small family of three celebrated when their team turned out victorious picking up the league cup in the process of their win. It was the perfect end to their European adventure even though it was mainly spontaneous.
Before they returned home, they had one more stop to make. Rachel wanted to return to Ireland for two reasons, one, so she could finally show Quinn the sights she had wanted to show her the last time they visited but couldn't get due to Rachel suffering from morning sickness and spending all their time in bed celebrating the news that they were expecting. And two, because there was something Rachel wanted to pick up that was vital to their later plans. You see Rachel and Quinn were planning on renewing their vows once more, this time with their daughter present.
So after hiking their way around the country, the couple stopped off at the jewellery shop and picked up the items Rachel had arranged with the owners and then they boarded a plane to return home, knowing that they only had a short period of time before they jetted off to Cabo to renew their vows with their nearest and dearest in tow. To say Rachel was exhausted would be an understatement, a side effect of the various different drugs she took daily, but she refused to give in just yet. There were a couple more things she needed to do then she could rest.
And so they found themselves standing on a beach in Cabo the sun low in the sky nearing sunset, the gleeks, Ben and Nicole and of course the Berry men standing around and watching as Quinn and Rachel renewed their vows for the last time, their daughter watching from her place in her Grandpa Leroy's arms. Like literally watching the whole thing intently, there wasn't a peep out of her other than the odd grunt or the occasional 'Ma' or Mmom' whenever either of her parents would glance towards her direction. But other than that she said nothing and listened as her mother's exchanged vows.
"Rach, I tried many times to write out what it was I wanted to say to you today and every time I tried, I failed. Because there are no words in any language that I could use that would do justice in expressing my feelings for you, because you," Quinn faltered as her voice cracked and tears began to leave a trail down her cheeks, "You shatter me and complete all at the same time, more than anyone else ever has or ever could. When I'm not with you it's like I'm an incomplete puzzle, a fragmented picture of the person I can be, but without those missing pieces all I'll ever be is half a being," she sighed.
"Rachel you are the missing pieces I need to feel whole, you and Charlotte. When I'm with you both I'm complete, I'm home. My whole life has been like an unmade jigsaw puzzle, just a bunch of scattered pieces that meant nothing that didn't quite fit. But Rach, all those years ago you took those pieces I thought didn't fit and you put them all together. And when you were done, you created this beautiful image of a girl who is happy, who is loved. You made me Rach. I'm who I am today because of you," Rachel sniffled as she listened to her wife lay bare her feelings.
"I have never and will never know a love like ours ever again, because you're it. You're my one true love, my morning, noon and night, my shining star, my beating heart. And now there are two of you and I can never thank you enough for the family you've given. The beautiful little girl who fills me with such pride and joy every single day with a single smile in my direction," Quinn beamed as she gazed deep in to chocolate brown eyes that were identical to her daughter's. "You're my soul mate Rach, and no matter where we go I will always love you and I will carry you with me, always, right here," Quinn finished as she raised their joined hands to her chest right over her heart before dipping her head and kissing her wife's knuckles.
Rachel momentarily freed one of her hands to wipe at her eyes, noticing from the corner of her eye some of their friends exchanging tissues and dabbing at their own fallen tears. Quinn's speech had moved her in ways she never thought possible. Her wife always had a way with words but she never thought hearing how much of an impact she had on Quinn would affect her this much. Taking slow deep breaths, Rachel closed her eyes and tried her best to gather up some sort of composure, enough to get her through her vows. And then, with one last breath, she opened her eyes and gazed up at her wife melting at the pure love she saw staring back at her.
"You know most people spend most of their lives looking for that one special person who will love them, and care for them, and make them feel special. But me, I didn't have to look for it, because you have always been there Quinn," Rachel said, squeezing her wife's hands for emphasis. "From the very for moment, all those years ago when you told me how you really felt I knew I had found my happily ever after. I was swept off my feet by a beautiful princess and I have never looked back since," she sighed a tear escaping her.
"I always said that I had a thing for gold stars, that they were a metaphor for who I would be one day. But I was wrong. I'm not a star, I'm so much more than that and it's because of you Quinn. Because of you I'm a wife, a mother, a best friend. I'm loved, so completely and unconditionally. You say that I helped fix you but Quinn, have fixed me so many times when I couldn't do it myself. When I didn't have the strength to pick myself up you carried me in your arms and guided me with a gentle hand. You kept me safe and protected and you continue to do so every day of our lives together." Rachel paused for a moment as she struggled around the lump that was forming in her throat, threatening oncoming tears.
"When I see you with our daughter, it makes me so proud. You are so amazing with her Quinn, the way you care for her and teach her every day. I always said that on day, when we had kids, that they would be the luckiest kids in the world because they would have you and I was right. Charlotte couldn't ask for a better mother and I know in my heart that whatever she needs and whenever she needs you, you'll be there. Just like you have been for me," at the sound of her name, Charlotte glanced up at her mother's and smiled, bouncing up and down as she stood on her Grandpa' lap with his help.
"I love you Quinn, more than you'll ever know. I've loved you so completely in this life, and I will love you eternally into the next. Forever and always, and no matter what, I'll be there for you and Charlotte. Whenever you remember me, I'll be there," Rachel finished, tears now falling freely from both Quinn and Rachel. The girls helped each other to wipe away their tears, making sure not to smudge what was left of their make-up and then nodded to continue. Puck stood up and lifted Charlotte into his arms from her grandfather's lap and walked through the sand towards his friends.
Rachel and Quinn smiled at him and then at their daughter. Puck reached into his pants pocket and removed a ring and placed it in Charlotte's hand, the little girl looking at him wondering what to do. "Give it to Mommy," he coaxed pointing to Quinn opened her hand, raising the palm to her daughter who seemed to understand and placed the ring in her Mommy's hand, earning a kiss from Quinn who then turned to Rachel and placed the ring on her ring finger in her right hand. When she was done, Puck gave Charlotte the second and this time she gave it to her Mama right away, repeating her earlier actions, earning another kiss and watching as Rachel slid the ring onto Quinn's ring finger on her right hand.
Once they were done the girls looked down at the matching gold Claddagh rings they had brought back from Ireland. When they decided to renew their vows, Rachel knew right away how she wanted to mark the occasion. She knew that once she was gone, she wanted Charlotte to have her engagement ring when she was older and she wanted Quinn to have her wedding ring, a reminder of Forever and Always. But Rachel something to bring with her and the idea clicked in her head. The diva had always appreciated the sentiment behind the Claddagh ring and the fact that traditionally it can be worn as a wedding ring really sealed the deal.
Rachel knew that at some point, maybe a month after she was gone or a year, whenever the time came, that Quinn would at some point have to remove her wedding band. It was inevitable. But she also knew how much Quinn would struggle with that so the diva figured out a solution. A ring that could act as a stand in wedding band, that would help the blonde remember the diva, but at the same time didn't prevent Quinn from moving on, if or when she chose to. Rachel even bought a matching Claddagh ring for Charlotte to wear when she was older that Quinn could give to her do so she would have something from her Mama.
It meant so much to Quinn when Rachel had explained the reason behind it. Okay at first she was annoyed that her wife thought she would ever remove her wedding band, but once she took a walk and had some time to think about it, she realised Rachel was right. So she welcomed the idea of the new rings, after all, she could always wear her wedding band on a chain around her neck if she wasn't completely ready to part with it.
With the sun setting behind them the girls kissed, and kissed, and kissed, their friends smiling and clapping around them as they finally made their way back up the beach to the hotel where they all enjoyed a beautiful feast of various dishes, cocktails and even ended the night dancing and just having fun. It was magical, under the stars with the sound of the ocean in the distance. That night, rather than making love, which they had been doing at every opportunity lately, they cuddled up on bed in their private villa with their daughter between them. Nothing was said, they just gazed into one another's eyes before sleep consumed them.
Two days later the girls were boarding a private jet to Los Angeles, this time, rather than just hanging around their usual haunts, they were planning a family trip to Disneyland. This had been something Rachel had always wanted to do and now that Charlotte was a little older and a lot more alert, they decided that it was the perfect time to make the trip. A private SUV picked them up at the airport and drove them to their beach house, the idea was to get in some much needed rest first before taking on the crazy hectic world of the magical theme park.
It also offered up an opportunity for Quinn to complete some promo work for her movie. Nothing too time consuming, just some magazine interviews and pre-recorded "live" tapings which suited her fine as Rachel usually used them time to rest up and sleep. At least that's what Quinn believed, if only she knew what the diva was really up to, something the diva had sworn her friends and fathers to secrecy. So things continued on as normal.
The family went to Disneyland, beaming smiles and Quinn's camera in tow and basked in the gloriousness of their little girls' laughter. They even bought her a huge grown-up Simba doll for Charlotte who was in awe of the giant teddy. When they went home that night, the girls opened up a bottle of red wine, just the one glass for Rachel so not to tamper with her medication, and star gazed.
August 15th
One year old, their baby girl was officially one year old. It was terrifying to think about it. Quinn nearly had a meltdown the other day when their daughter started standing with the aid of the couch or coffee table, like literally standing. The blonde had cried while Santana laughed hysterically. If this was what Quinn was going to be like over her daughter learning to stand, the Latina joked that she would be an emotional wreck when Charlotte was walking and talking for real.
Call her a sentimental fool or whatever but Charlotte was Quinn's little girl, she was supposed to stay little, not grow up. That wasn't part of the deal, she was supposed to remain a baby forever so Quinn could cradle her in her arms and keep her safe. Growing up meant going from starting school, learning to ride a bike and first friends, to high school, learning to drive and, heaven forbid, maybe even first boyfriends or girlfriends. That was not okay and Rachel had mocked her mercilessly about when her wife had cried herself to sleep over it.
Yet here they were, exactly one year since the day their precious bundle of joy first graced them with her appearance, all smiles and toothy grins, celebrating the greatest thing to ever happen to them. Rachel was sat in the living room with her little girl perched upon her lap, making awing noises at all of Charlotte's new presents from her family and friends. There was a party in full swing, many of the girls colleagues with kids around the same age were there and little Charlotte was in her element. Quinn was running around snapping picture after picture and Puck was filming the entire thing on his camera, particularly in enjoying the moment when Rachel and Charlotte jammed on the mini piano and sang together.
For this one special day, everyone ignored the situation that had been hanging over them for months and just joined in the party, doing everything they could to make it as memorable as they could for Quinn and for Rachel. Even badass Lopez was sitting on the floor with a group of kids playing puppets. It was truly amazing. Suddenly the voices of Hiram and Leroy cut though the atmosphere as they came from the kitchen carrying a cake with a big 1 candle on the top. Rachel gasped dramatically as she stood up with her daughter and carried her over to the table, her coming to stand next to them.
"Look baby, that's for you," Rachel squealed causing her daughter to release a happy squeal of her own. The cake was cover in green icing and on top was an icing feature shaped like to look like Pride Rock and had edible characters from the Lion King placed all around. Happy 1st Birthday Charlotte was written across the top in cursive writing and every marvelled at the creation, I really was stunning. Passing their daughter to Quinn, who had better upper arm strength, Rachel watched as her wife lifted Charlie over the cake so she could "blow" out her candle, both mother's giving her a hand.
Blaine started everyone off in a chorus of Happy Birthday as Quinn gazed at Rachel, cupping her cheek in her hand and kissing her knowing that as happy as she was, there was an internal struggle going on with her emotions and she needed a pick me up. When the girls pulled apart, Quinn wrapped her arm around the diva's shoulders and held her close, smiling for the cameras. Everyone taking turns so as not to startle Charlotte who was uncomfortable with too many flashing lights at once, one of the pitfalls of growing up the child of a celebrity couple. With the cake and pictures out of the way, everyone returned to celebrating, the moment meaning just that much more to the two women who clung to one another the rest of the day through.
So what did you think? Let me know and I'll talk to you all soon
