Snow Job (Part II)

All across Hell, the townspeople took advantage of what was for many of them, their first snow day. Young children engaged in snowball fights, adults went ice-skating, and every property had a snowman out front.

"Look, Limberg," said Cookie, happily, "I made you!"

Cookie presented her snowman, which looked exactly like Limberg, to him.

"Wow," said Limberg, "What a surprise! So did I!"

Limberg presented his snowman, which also resembled him, albeit cruder and uglier.

"Grrr…" grumbled Cookie.

Elsewhere, Snake, Poncho and Alfonso were tobogganing down a large hill.

"All right," began Snake, "Last one to the bottom has to make the others a hot coco!"

"I'm not so sure about this," said Alfonso.

"Alright, go!" yelled Snake.

The trio pushed off the hill and began sliding down at very high speeds. Alfonso screamed loudly as he passed both Snake and Poncho.

"How do I stop this thing?" he yelled.

Even after reaching the bottom, Alfonso continued to slide across the snow-covered ground.

"Wooooaaah!"

Alfonso eventually crashed into a thick snow mound.

"Damn, man," exclaimed Poncho, "That was insane!"

"Yeah," said Snake, "You alright?"

Still stuck head-first inside the snow mound, Alfonso spoke, dizzily:

"I'll take my coco with extra marshmallows please…"

Just outside of the CJ's house, Curt, who was holding a small, plastic bottle against his groin, chuckled and began squeezing it, causing water to spray into the ground.

"Hey," he said, "Check it out! You think I can write my name in the snow?"

Curt began spelling out his name using the flowing water.

"Dude," said CJ, "I can see the bottle!"

"Aw, man," said Curt, "Hey wait a sec! The water's frozen!"

The stream of water that was coming out of the snout had turned into a small icicle.

"It's still below zero," said CJ, "Of course it's…"

Just then, CJ was hit in the face with a snowball. When he turned to see who threw it, he saw Sakura and Lindsay, giggling.

"Oh," he said, "You are sooo dead!"

CJ began forming his own snowballs and throwing them at the girls.

"Help me out here, man!" he said.

Curt nodded and began throwing snowballs as well.


Unfortunately, not everyone was having a great time during this snow day. Nook, who was still upset about earlier, paced around his empty store anxiously, eyeing his phone.

"Can't operate my store, eh?" said Nook, "Damn that Tortimer! These townspeople don't know it, but they need supplies, and I need my money. If I am going to get people to come, the only solution would be to clear the snow myself!"

Nook stopped pacing and approached the phone.

"Fortunately," he began, "I have just thing. I just need to make a few calls…"

Nook began dialing.


"Alright," said Poncho, as he sat in his toboggan, "Since you guys lost the last race, you have to pull me across town. Don't go too fast, or I'll crash into you!"

CJ, Curt, Alfonso and Snake were all harnessed to Snake's toboggan and ready to pull. Sakura and Lindsay watched from the side and cheered them on.

"This is fucking humiliating," muttered CJ.

"Tell me about it," replied Snake, "But a bet's a bet!"

Just then, there was a loud rumbling, followed by the roar of an engine. The gang nearly fell over when they saw what was approaching them.

"Jesus," said Curt, "The fuck is that?"

An enormous red machine with four huge tires and an attached plow pulled up beside the gang. The words Snowbuster 3000 was written on the side.

"What the fuck is this shit?" demanded Sakura.

Nook opened the door and stepped out of the truck.

"Like it?" asked Nook, "Borrowed it from a buddy of mine after making a down payment. I think it's about time this town invested in something like this, hm?"

"I see what you're doing," said Curt, "You're still pissed that no one's coming to your store, so you're gonna put an end to our little snow day!"

"I'm doing this town a favour," said Nook, "Why don't you go back to whatever little game you were playing before all your precious snow disappears? Ha!"

"Bullshit," snapped CJ, "You're just trying to make everyone as miserable as you! But we won't let you!"

"I'm sorry, children," said Nook, "But I must go and present this to the mayor, yes? Perhaps, if he likes it enough, next year's storm may go a little differently!"

With that, Nook hopped back in and drove off.

"That bastard," said Snake, "Trying to ruin our fun? Damn him!"

"Well," said Lindsay, "I guess we brought this on ourselves by trying to shut down an entire town for a whole day!"

"Well nothing," said Sakura, "Nook is a miserable old fuck and he's not gonna get away with this! Come on, let's go rally everyone up! We got a snow plow machine to take down!"

As Sakura stormed off, Curt and CJ looked at each other.

"Damn," said Curt, "For someone who doesn't have a job, she sure is passionate about getting a day off!"

"But she has a point," said CJ, "We never get snow days! Come on, let's go!"


Tortimer sat in his office, taking a nap, when he heard loud rumbling. Tortimer nearly leapt out of his chair.

"What'cha?" demanded Tortimer, "What's going on? Are we under attack?"

In seconds, Tortimer and his two bodyguards stepped outside and saw Nook approaching in his plow.

"Dagnabbit, Nook," snapped Tortimer, "You nearly gave me a heart attack! What's the meaning of all this?"

"This," began Nook, "Is the Snowbuster 3000. You may consider this a test run, yes?"

"I can see that," said Tortimer, "Where'd you get it?"

"It doesn't matter," replied Nook, "The point is that from now on, there will be no need to ever have to close down anything. This is the future of Hell!"

"Well," said Tortimer, "I suppose it could be of use…But it looks unsafe and it's noisy as all hell!"

"I can assure you, it is perfectly safe, hm? Just let me finish this test run and you will see for yourself just how efficient it is. I can have the streets completely cleared by 3:00 today!"

"Alright, but this thing better be worth it. If it is, I'll order one for myself. Otherwise, forget it!"

"I will not let you down."

Nook chuckled evilly.


Several townspeople gathered around the town bulletin board where Sakura and the gang stood.

"Listen up, people," announced Sakura, "Our friend, Mr. Nooklittle, has decided to take it upon himself to clean up our streets! In a couple of hours, he is gonna singlehandedly ruin our snow day!"

Everyone booed.

"Fortunately," Sakura continued, "I have a plan to stop him. It's gonna require the cooperation from most of you though, so bear with me! Are you guys ready to take back our snow day?"

Everyone cheered loudly.

"Now, let's go over the plan!"


"La, la, la," sang Nook as he drove his plow down a large, empty street, "Oh, glorious day! Soon, the streets will be cleared and I…"

Suddenly, a snowball hit the plow's windshield.

"ACK!" screamed Nook, "What the…?"

Another two snowballs struck the plow, this time, hitting the side door. Nook stopped the plow and stepped out.

"What's going on?" he demanded, "Aha!"

Nook pointed at two children standing at the side of the road. They both giggled.

"Don't you know that it's dangerous to throw snow at a moving vehicle?" asked Nook, "I can't…"

The two kids threw more snowballs, this time at Nook himself.

"ACK!" yelled Nook, "Stop it! Stop it now!"

The two kids continued giggling and ran off.

"Just wait until I tell your parents, you little punks!"

Nook reentered his snow plow and began driving after the children.

"Where did they go?" muttered Nook.

The street Nook drove down had numerous snowmen set up along the sidewalks. Nook drove very slowly and examined the area, hoping to find the two children.

"Oooh," said Nook, shivering, "These snowmen give me the creeps! It's like they're staring at me. Ever since I was little, I had a phobia of them. Yes, I remember this one time..."

Another two snowballs hit the side of the truck.

"Ha!" yelled Nook, climbing out of his truck yet again, "Now I got you, you rotten kids!"

Nook chased after the two children on foot. Meanwhile, CJ and Curt emerged from behind a house and snuck up to the plow.

"Alright," said CJ, "We're clear. Let's get in!"

"Sweet," said Curt, "Can't wait to do this!"

As soon as the plow started up, Nook stopped chasing the children and turned around.

"NO!" yelled Nook, "Give that back! It was a loan from a friend!"

It was too late; the plow began to drive off. Nook pulled out his cell phone.

"You return that thing right now," began Nook, "Or I call the police, yes?"

Suddenly, Nook was hit with a snowball, causing him to drop his phone.

"What now?"

All the snowmen on the block suddenly began shaking and moving, causing Nook to jump in fear. However, the snowmen were not actually alive; the snow crumbled off, revealing the townspeople that were hiding underneath.

"Attack!" yelled Sakura.

Almost immediately, the people scooped up as many snowballs as they could and threw them at the exposed Nook. Nook tried desperately to avoid the onslaught, but snowballs came from every angle.

"Aaaah!" shouted Nook, "What is this? Stop it!"

Nook ran down the street as snowballs continued flying at him.


Meanwhile, Curt and CJ drove the plow around town in an attempt to undo the damage Nook did.

"Dude," said Curt, "I can't believe we're actually doing this! This is insane!"

"Are you sure you know how to drive this?" asked CJ, "Maybe I should…"

"Nah," said Curt, "I got this!"

Curt drove the plow straight into a large snow mound, causing snow to spread all over the street.

"WAAAHOOO," shouted the two guys.

"Sierra to Charlie," said Sakura, over CJ's phone, "Come in, Charlie!"

"Yeah, yeah," said CJ, rolling his eyes, "I hear ya. We got the plow and we're making good progress. How are things on your end?"

"Nook got in his car and is on his way to your location," replied Sakura.

"Good," said CJ, "We're heading for town hall."

"Sierra out," said Sakura, before hanging up.

"Let's go meet up with Buzz and the guys," ordered CJ.

"Got ya," said Curt.

CJ and Curt parked the plow in the middle of the street near town hall. Just up ahead, Buzz, Limberg, and other townspeople sprayed large amounts of water into the street using garden hoses from the nearby homes. Naturally, the cold air froze the water, causing the street to become icy and slippery.

"Are you guys done?" asked CJ, as he and Curt climbed out, "Nook's coming!"

"Just about," said Buzz, "Come on, people! Let's finish up!"

The men retracted the hoses and retreated behind the houses. A minute later, Nook arrived onto the scene.

"Grrr," he said, "If I catch whoever took my truck…Hmmm, they seem to have just left it here."

Nook ran up to the plow and entered it.

"Those little shits are gonna pay!" he muttered, as he turned the key.

Nook drove off, but because of the slippery road ahead, Nook immediately lost control of the plow and began spinning rapidly.

"Woooooaaaaahh!"

Nook whizzed right by town hall. Tortimer, who was just stepping outside, nearly fell over as the plow passed by.

"Jeezum Crow," snapped Tortimer, "What's going on?"

The plow eventually slid off the road and into the park, where it crashed into a cluster of trees. An enormous amount of snow fell onto the plow, trapping it.

"Gah!" said Nook, "This isn't over! I'll get out of here and when I do, there'll be hell to pay, oh yes!"

Nook stepped on the gas as hard as he could, but the plow would not budge. The more Nook forced the accelerator, the more the plow's engine began to overheat. Eventually, large amounts of smoke began pouring out from the front hood.

"This can't be," said Nook, "Don't break down on me now! Ack, now I'm down 660,000 bells!"

"What is the got-dang meaning of all this, Nook?" demanded Tortimer.

Nook climbed out and approached Tortimer.

"Listen, sir," he began, "I can explain!"

"Not only did you completely fail to clean up this town like you promised," began Tortimer, "You nearly killed me! Look at that piece of junk! It's a deathtrap!"

"But sir, I…"

Just then, the gang and several other townspeople ran onto the scene. Nook glared at them.

"You," said Nook, "It was you, wasn't it? You are nothing but trouble!"

"Hey," said CJ, "Don't look at us! No one in this town really liked that thing!"

"That thing nearly ran over my children," snapped a random lady, "I saw that bastard chase my sons down the street in it!"

"They were throwing snowballs at me," pleaded Nook, "I just wanted to speak to them!"

"And did you see the way he lost control?" asked Buzz, "That thing has no traction!"

"Agreed," said Tortimer, "You get that thing outta my sight before I scrap it myself, ya hear?"

Tortimer continued to mutter angrily to himself as he reentered town hall.

"I swear," said Nook, "You will all pay for this! I will have my revenge, you hear? REVEEEEENGE!"

"Geez," said Curt, "Calm the fuck down! Crazy old bastard…"

Nook stormed off.

"Well guys," began CJ, "We did it. I'd say this day was a success."

Everyone cheered.

"I don't get it," said Lindsay, "All this hard work and planning to stop Nook and keep snow day…I mean, we would've probably done less work if we had actually gone to work!"

"My dear," said Sakura, as she wrapped her arm around Lindsay, "This was about taking Nook down a peg, which we did! I can't think of a better reason to celebrate!"

"I guess so," said Lindsay, "But still, it's…"

"Besides," said Curt, "There's still plenty of time to get back to what we were doing! This day is far from over!"

"That reminds me," said Sakura, "You guys still have that bet with Poncho."

"Aw man," said CJ, "You can't be serious!"

"A bet's a bet," said Sakura.

"I hate you so much right now," joked Curt.

The gang laughed.

Stay tuned for more Animal Crossing goodness! Until next time!