They stood there for at least another 5 minutes. They didn't say a word. Both lost in their own thoughts but trying to support the other. Harry knew for sure that her father had told Dempsey everything by now about what had happened during her stay at Winfield Hall back then. He hadn't brought the subject up yet which surprised her. Maybe he was too overwhelmed with what he had discovered that he had to let the news sink in first. But she knew that they had to talk about it later. And she was afraid how he would react.
Dempsey on the other hand had still the illusion he was dreaming. That when he woke up it would have all been just a bad dream. If she had lost the babies because of it, would someone had ever told him then that Harry had been pregnant at all? He had his doubts about that. Probably he would have never seen Harry again. Only thinking about it, give him the creeps. They had to talk about it, but he had no idea how.
Dempsey felt Harry leaning against him more and more when time passed by. She had even laid her hands over his to steady herself.
"Let's go inside" he suggested when he heard her breathe very heavily.
"No"
"Harry come on. This is ridiculous, you can hardly stand anymore"
"I'm not weak!"
"I would never say that" Dempsey realised that he must be very careful not to say the wrong words again. Why was she always so stubborn and not just admit that she was exhausted?
"Then let me stay"
"No way. You come with me. We can go back here tomorrow if you wish, but for now you have been here long enough"
"I don't want to go away"
"Sweetheart" he turned her around in his arms to look at her: "I'm glad you showed me Little James grave, but I'm sure the little guy never wanted that his mother collapsed on his grave and that will happen if you stay here any longer"
Dempsey saw her hesitated for a second. Her looks switched between the grave and him and then back to the grave.
"I had never visited his grave since we had buried him. My father took care of everything. He chose the gravestone, the inscription, everything" she said sadly: "I couldn't do it"
"If you want to change the gravestone and believe me I would love to see Little James and Sophia's real name on that stone, we'll let it change. But that's up to you. I would never rush you in this"
"I know, thank you" it came out as a little whisper.
Dempsey took Harry's face in his hands and looked her straight in the eyes.
"You have done what you thought was right back then. From now on, we will make these decisions together. Okay?"
When Harry didn't react, he repeated: "Okay?"
Harry nodded her head and said: "I'm sorry"
"Sorry? Sorry for what?"
"What Charles have done to me"
"Will you stop with blaming yourself! You didn't do anything wrong"
"But I let it happen"
"From what your father told me, he forced you to do it. And I don't want to talk it anymore, before we are inside the house. This is not the place to discuss these things"
"Afraid that Little James could hear us?"
Astound Dempsey opened his mouth to say something, but no sound came out.
"You don't believe me. I can see it"
"And you do?" he finally said with great difficulties.
"Yes"
"You can't be serious"
Harry turned her head. She knew how it must sound, but since Little James had died, strange things had happened in and around her house, things she couldn't explain.
"When you staid in my house, didn't you notice something?"
"Noticed what?"
"Lights which go on when you didn't switch them. Things lying on a different place as where you put them?"
Dempsey shook his head. This was ridiculous.
"You're not going to tell me that you believe that Little James......."
"You never had these experiences?" Harry interrupted him.
"I'm sorry to tell you, but no"
She should have known it. It had just happened in her imagination. She probably wanted so much that Little James was still around that she had clung to every inexplicable thing. Hoping that the little guy laid behind it.
"Maybe you're right" he heard her saying, but it didn't sound convinced.
"Now it's enough" Dempsey said firmly when he saw her almost tumbling down: "You need to sit down"
For Harry it was very difficult to leave Little James behind. Now that she had finally made it to the grave, she wanted to stay longer, but she knew Dempsey was right. Especially when she wanted to walk and her right leg didn't want to do what she wanted. She groaned and grab Dempsey's arm.
"Are you alright?" he asked worried, wrapping his arm around her waist.
"I don't know"
Helpless she tried to do another step, without any luck.
"My whole leg has stiffened" she announced, rubbing her leg with her hand.
Without saying a word, Dempsey lifted Harry up in his arms.
"What are you doing?"
"What does it looks like?'
"You can't do that!"
"Will you stop arguing? I bring you inside. End of discussion" he added when he saw that Harry opened her mouth to say something.
In total silence, Harry laid her head against Dempsey's shoulder and wrapped her arms around his neck. For Dempsey it was a torture on its own. Holding Harry in his arms like this, feeling her breath on his cheek but not been able to touch her the way he wanted the most. He tried hard not to think about it and to concentrate himself. When they reached the front door till his total surprise the door opened immediately.
"I saw you two coming" was all Abbott said, sharing a meaningful glance with Dempsey.
"Thanks" Harry whispered. Instantly she realised that both her father as Abbott knew where they had been. For both men it must have been a relief that she had visit Little James grave for the first time. And even more that she had done it in the company of the father.
When Dempsey had reached the library, he walked over to the sofa and laid Harry down on it. He stretched his back which didn't keep unnoticed by Harry.
"I'm too heavy for you"
"No you are not. I'm not used to it anymore. Maybe I need to do it more often" he joked looking down on her.
Harry didn't know where to look. A little blush crept over her cheek.
"I won't make a habit of it" she said, trying hard to keep her composure. Especially when Dempsey bent over her to steady himself with putting his arms at both sides of Harry's body.
"You can make a habit of it every time" he whispered softly. But before he was able to do what he had in mind the door flew open. Harry tried not to laugh when she saw her father entering the room and the reaction of Dempsey to this. Jumping up almost immediately before he stood next to the sofa with an expression of quilt on his face. Like a schoolboy who had been caught doing something inappropriate.
"Ha, here you two are" Lord Winfield closed the door behind him.
"Did you tell Harry that you wanted to search Charles room and see if you can find something in there?" Lord Winfield started.
"No" Dempsey felt Harry staring at him, but he tried to avoid her gaze.
"What do you want to search the room for?"
"To see if I......we" he corrected himself: "Can find some evidence in there"
In the meantime Dempsey had put his hands in his pockets and seemed to be far away with his thoughts.
"James? Where are you up to?" Harry asked, stretching her hand out. Carefully she laid it on his arm, bringing him back to reality by doing it.
"If he had planned it all the time"
"Planned it? Planned what?"
It became stranger every minute that passed by. What had crossed Dempsey's mind when her father had told him about Charles? Was he perhaps so despaired that he wanted to find an explanation why Charles had raped her in the first place? But hadn't the local police searched Charles room back then and hadn't they come up with nothing? What does he hope to find in that room?
When the answer came, Harry was so surprised that she had to lean back on the sofa and closed her eyes.
"I think he did it on purpose. Just to split us up"
