A/N: No lie, I wrote this chapter before the last one. XD;;; *shot*

It was a fun chapter I think. But we're really getting down to the wire here, guys. We've got three more chapters left. Holy Jesus. XD;;


That hand.

That hand.

Sayuri closes her eyes, tears streaming down her face. Both of her hands are clenched and down to her sides. Her face is red—as red as Kohana has ever seen it. Still the purple-haired woman runs her fingers through the child's neck-length hair. Sayuri doesn't like it; she can tell her mother is simply looking down at her and smiling. With her free hand in her pocket, Kohana adjusts her footing. "What's wrong Sayuri~? You look like I'm hurting you." Sayuri opens one eye and then opens the other one, looking up at the taller figure.

"You're the worst mommy ever!" Sayuri whimpers. "Why can't I go?"

"Whaddya mean 'Why can't I go?'" Kohana says, tilting her head. "You're sick! You can't go anywhere if you're sick, you brat. As if I need other people's parents coming up to my door yelling at me because you've given them your disease!" Sayuri whines, stomping on the ground, seemingly miserable. A slight smirk dances on Kohana's lips and she takes her hand away from Sayuri's head.

"You're mean!" the child exclaims. "You're really mean! You said I don't get sick like everyone else does!"

"I know what I said brat!" Kohana answers, wiping her eyes. "I just didn't think you'd be so weak. Ha! I'll have you know I haven't caught the chicken pox a day in my life." She pauses, swinging her hand around. "I didn't think you needed... All of these shots. Or whatever the heck they're calling them now. So you got it? And! You don't need to go see a doctor. You'll be up on your feet in two more days. You've got limitless potential running through your veins. Remember that, Sayuri."

"But you're not sick and you're touching me and talking to me—!"

"What part of no don't you understand?" Sayuri shakes her head, trying to get her tears to stop stinging her eyes. Suddenly, she feels angry. This is supposed to be the greatest slumber party ever and Kohana's not letting her go? Anger takes over her and she rushes towards her mother, slamming her clenched fists into her legs. Kohana cracks a smile, amused at her daughter's rash behavior.

"You told me I could go! You mean, mean, mean, meany!" she says, over and over again. Sayuri stops, gasping for air through her sobs. Kohana grabs the girl's petite fingers, intertwining them with her own. "You said I could go! You said I could go you liar!"

"If you want to hit me, that's fine," Kohana declares, smirking. "You can hit me as many times as you want. Oh, I can't wait until you're old enough so I can kick your ass around a few times, Sayuri. Maybe until you get a little taller, eh? Either way, there's going to come a day where you can finally stand up to me and hold in your stupid little tears. Maybe then I'll let you go to all the parties you want to. But for right now, you're really sick, and I said no."

"But if everyone else were sick, they'd still get to go—"

"I said no, Sayuri. You can sit here and battle with me all day. No means no." Kohana pauses, turning around and throwing her arms up in the air. "What, you want me to be one of these parents that let their kid run around doing any and everything? Psh. Nah, I'll pass on that, Sayuri. As long as I'm still alive and breathing, you're going to do what I say. I've seen kids die—all thanks to how lousy their parents are." She pauses, wiping her forehead.

Sayuri doesn't want to hear any of this. The biggest slumber party of the year and she can't go because of Kohana! She clenches her fists, still trying to hide her reddened face. Kohana's eyes soften as she walks towards the couch, sitting in it. "If only you knew... If only you knew how hard it is raising you, Sayuri. If I don't raise you right like I should, you'll do whatever you want, and in time, you'll understand why I've got to be so hard on you." The purple-haired girl—both tired and confused—takes a seat right next to Kohana.

"I don't get it..." she murmurs. "Why...?"

"Because!" Kohana exclaims. "I'm going to block your memory on your, like, I don't know. On one of your birthdays to come. You won't remember any of this and I've got to trust that you don't go out and act like a complete and utter ass. You're going to remember me as "one of your friend's parents." You're going to think I'm your definition of the nicest parent in the world..." Her voice trails off as she finds herself staring at the television in front of her. She sighs as Sayuri tilts her head.

"No more magic then, Mom?"

"Afraid not, kid."

"Aww."

"Yeah, aww..." Kohana looks at her daughter, albeit solemnly before running her fingers through Sayuri's hair. "But one day when you're older, you'll be able to use magic just like I'm able to. You'll be amazing, I can tell Sayuri. You'll save millions, but you'll lose millions at the same time. You can't save everyone, you know..." She pauses, brushing her hand against the couch. "Even heroes need heroes too."

"You're my hero, Mommy."

She winces at Sayuri's comment and her eyes trail to the ground, full of regret, full of remorse. She stands up, sighing haughtily. "No one thinks the hero understands, no one takes the time to understand the hero... And no one believes the hero is real. Why? The hero has withstood it all. Heartache, mental illness, suicidal tendencies. But to everyone else they're just there." She pauses, glancing around her shoulder. "The hero has helped all. And... Destroyed most."

Sayuri glances up at Kohana with wide, emerald eyes—but this is the magic of being a child. Even if she doesn't fully understand what Kohana is talking about, she at least gets what she is trying to say.

"All the hero ever wanted to do was save someone instead of ruin them. So what if the hero made some mistakes? So what if some of them fall under the burdens of 'life', 'love', and 'friendship'? All of which the hero has forever fucked! The hero is sorry. The hero is only human. I said hero, not immortal! Every hero has an arch-nemesis. This hero has to fight failure everyday," she says, pointing to herself. "And save the only ones left in her life. And the only thing that corrupts the hero is insanity and the only thing that can kill that... Is possibly suicide. Not easy! It's not easy being a hero. Surprisingly saving a butt-load of people and getting no recognition."

"But Mommy—!"

"Trying to satisfy the one true love—and sucking at it! … Not literally, but you get my point! Battling depression with sanity, but due to lack of it makes it kind of hard. The hero gives into the enemy and the hero is demolished. Leaving behind only weapons and swords and armor never worn—" Kohana touches her chest, sighing and shaking her head. "And my only armor is my extensive mentality. Not to solve equations, but to at least make logic of life. It's all becoming too much now. And the hero dies..."

Sayuri plucks at her hair, staring at her toes—doing the oddest things. "She's always there... To love me and complete my every wish. She is the one and only, the best! She will never be fake or be really lazy. So I know I can always say..." Sayuri tilts her head, gazing at Kohana. "Mommy, you're the hero in my story." Kohana's never realized that a few words is all it takes to make her break down in silent sobs. She sniffs as she cracks a smile. The mother wipes her eyes, picking her daughter up and carrying her up the steps.

Sayuri wants to scratch herself so bad, but she holds it in for now. "I can only hope to be as caring as her!" she exclaims, waving her arms around. "When I grow up and have children of my own, I hope I'm just like Mommy!"

"You're flattering me," she whispers, closing her eyes. Kohana's fingertips start to glow, making Sayuri's rash disappear. "Now come on. Let's have our own little Slumber party. If you want to be a hero, you have to hold on to your dreams—and pride. Never lose your dreams. Also, no matter the situation never let go of your pride as a Summoner."


-: Chapter Fifty-Four: Worth Dying For :-

My atonement lasts the best part of eternity
Ran out of hands to count the sin that breeds inside of me
Not this hate but the loneliness has left me here

So look in my eyes, what will you leave behind once you've gone?
You got what you came for now I think it's time to move on
But these ghosts come alive like water and wine
Walk through these streets singing songs and carrying signs,
To them these streets belong

— "To Them These Streets Belong" — Rise Against

So what's really worth dying for? I never really understood that phrase myself. I had always thought that I'd never find anything or anyone to actually, truly, and honestly die for. I mean I loved my family. I loved my friends. I loved everyone around me. But if it came to dying for them? I wouldn't have the courage nor care to do it. So maybe... Maybe if you're pushed to the complete edge... And I mean the edge of the universe, you can find the strength to put your life in danger... Maybe blow up a few cars while you're at it. I—I hadn't really thought of that before. Is there anything... Anything worth really dying for?

How the hell is this equivalent exchange? How the hell is this worth it? I'd admit it okay! I didn't know what I was doing, and I was so terrified of messing up! In all honesty, I wanted to ran away and hide in a hole because I knew this was it! I knew this was how everything was going to end. Up in smoke and flames, right? I couldn't stop this! That's why I was on the ground, my hands trying to cover up my eyes but my tears were damn near burning through my hands. I was supposed to protect this place! We were supposed to protect this place! Now look at it! Reduced to nothing more but a pile of ash and bodies!

So many people were dying!

And I couldn't stop their pain. I couldn't stop the bloodshed and the cries for obvious help. Everyone else was running around the place, trying to figure out what would be the next course of action. I was fully convinced that there was nothing left that we could do. This was it! This was the end of them! And Kohana was right! This is the Apocalypse! My head started to reel and my fingers started to twitch as I started hyperventilating. This was all my fault! I didn't deserve to be a Summoner anymore! What would the dark Sayuri say about all of this? Was she disappointed in everything I did? Everything I didn't do?

I made a promise to her that we'd never have to be sad together! That whatever happened, we both would duke it out until the end. But you know what? Screw all that, I was about ready to call it quits on being a Summoner, on being Sayuri... On living in a whole... I—I needed to know that there was something still here... Something decent on this world. Something that I could still fight for. We Summoners fought for the people. The people are gone. We Summoners fought for the world. Yeah, you know, that's not looking too hot either. What else... What else could I possibly screw up?

How much worse does it get? I've already let an entire planet get blown straight to hell. Everyone on the Dark Ages must have hated me right now. I let all of them die... I let all of them die and it was all my fault. I was surprised no one on my Summoner team had died. But then Chio and... Ko—Kokoro and Morta and... I started choking and then I fell back, collapsing on the ground. I heard people call my name, but my eyes wouldn't open. That was just great, wasn't it? Now they all had to lose their leader. Their hero. Because once the hero falls, there's no hope left, is there?

Great! Now they were going to die because of me!

Now I'm standing up in some kind of white place. There's nothing else here... It's just all white and bare... Bare and all white. I lick my lips and look at my hands. So I'm... Alive? I didn't die from a heart-attack or something? I wipe my hair out of my eyes, looking around some more. So... What is in here? I'm really confused, but then someone grabs my hands with their really soft ones and I look up. I tilt my head and the girl standing in front of me is none other than dark Sayuri herself. "Hi there," she says, blinking. Like she can't believe it's me...

And to be honest, I can't believe it's her either. "I thought you would never wake up, Sayuri. You just ended up in here and I was worried. I thought you had died because parts of me were fading away." Dark Sayuri, in all of her darkened sclera, raises her hands up and takes a look at her fingers. "I'm really glad you decided to wake up you jerk!" Ow! She hit me! Jeez, what the heck was that for! Now I'm glaring at her, but she's crossing her arms and glaring at me.

"Hi, uh, dark Sayuri," I murmur, tapping my foot on the ground. At first she's looking at me with really soft eyes... And her eyes are weird, considering her sclera is all black and her green eyes are all glowy... I think she's going to say something back, but she adjusts her footing, and with a big swing of her right hand she slaps me so hard I spin around backwards and hit the ground with force! Force! I skid across the white ground or whatever and come to a complete stop. What is this I don't even...

I touch my face, wincing in pain. "Why the hell did you do that!" I exclaim, standing back up. "I didn't deserve to get slapped, Sayuri!" It's still weird calling her Sayuri, but I don't know if I can call her anything else without her straight flipping out on me. She likes her identity and I plan to keep her happy. We're not fighting now, which is a good thing, and Mima is... Well... Dead so we're not in the Garden of Truth. My eyes start to tingle, like I want to just break down and cry some more, but I'm not going to do that in front of dark Sayuri, because when I hurt, she hurts.

I don't want to remind her of that pain...

Dark Sayuri puts her hands on her hips, smirking at me. "I didn't slap you, I just high-fived your face." Oh really. I rub my cheek, glaring at her. Yeah, because faces can high-five back! "You deserve that, Sayuri." Slaps always get me back to my senses for some reason, so I guess I did. Still though. Ouch. Freakin' ouch! "There's a lot of stuff we've got to talk about." I cradle my fingers, looking at my hands. Yeah. I know we have to talk about a lot of stuff... Problem is, I don't want to talk about anything. I'd rather avoid all the problems all together...

I sit down on the ground and dark Sayuri takes a seat next to me. Now we're just looking in the starless, white void. Yep. I'd spend the rest of my life like this. I bow my head, letting my hair get in my face. "Dark Sayuri, I just don't know what the heck is going on. Why am I here? What is this place?" She gives me a look... An all-knowing look... And coupled with that smirk of hers, she reminds me of myself before I became a Summoner. She throws her arms in the air then points at the empty void around us.

"Sayuri, you can't tell?" she asks. Obviously not... "You fell out pretty hard up there in the real world. Everyone's freaking out about you. They really can't afford two people unconscious up there." Two people? "Yep, that Professor Ever person is knocked out cold up there, and Renata just woke up. It's crazy, and I don't think people can do this alone with you." Again... I don't understand what makes me so special. I clench my fists, but dark Sayuri isn't having none of that. She swats at me and I snap back to my senses.

"So then this is a dream?" I ask, dumfounded. "This doesn't look like the kind of dream I'd dream. I've seen lions, I've seen tigers, I've seen bears... But I've never seen a blank white space." Dark Sayuri stands up and dusts off her civilian outfit. She's not transformed, and neither am I. Good, because I'm feeling really sick to my stomach and I feel like I'm going to fall on the ground sideways. I just don't feel right at all. The others need me so much and here I am... Lost in a white dream with the dark side of me...

"That's what it looks like, Sayuri. You've gotta get back up on your feet! You were so scared up there you didn't know what you were doing or what you wanted to do. You stopped breathing for a really long time and started crying, and you just lost it... Was it something you saw?" Yes. Death. Death all around me. And destruction for no reason. One second we were in the badlands and bam! I just can't shake the images out of my head. I leave Aysel and everything just conveniently blows to hell? What if I would have stayed? Could I have stopped everything... But what about the others? They needed me too.

"Dammit!" I exclaim, clenching my fists and seething. "I can't do anything right! Even if I make the right choice it's always wrong!" I turn around, shaking the tears off my eyelashes. Kohana still hates when I cry, and if she sees me crying now I—I don't know what to tell her. She can still contact me in my dreams either way it goes. I'm never really safe from her wrath now am I? "What did I do wrong! I can't understand it... What did I screw up on, dark Sayuri? I just don't understand..." I close my eyes, swinging my arms again.

"Stuff happens," she replies, looking at her nails. "You shouldn't get so worked up, Sayuri. It's not like you to start flipping out you know." And how the hell does she know that? What, because she's me? "I do know one thing though. If you don't shape up and realize what is worth dying for, you're really going to die in the Dark Ages and leave everyone else behind." I... I feel like I've just tried to eat my brain. I don't know how to describe it, but my brain momentarily shuts off and something forms in my throat. Why would she say something like that...? Why would anyone say something like that! I seethe but she glares at me, and she does look way more intimidating than I do.

Plus she's kicked my ass many times over.

So I know that I'm outmatched and overpowered. "Have you forgotten Sayuri?" she chides, tapping my head with her index-finger. "The Magic Wand is only as strong as how you're feeling. If you feel and think you're crap, then your powers are going to falter. So pick your face up and let's do this, Sayuri!" Let's do what? What is there left to do! For my dark side, she is really happy! Really cheerful! Like... Like everything is going to be okay. I push her, because that's all I can think of right now. Dark Sayuri looks at me like I've just torn her hair out, but I don't care.

"Why don't you go down there, huh!" I yell at her, snapping. "You're so happy! You're so cheery! You can handle all of this, right?" I don't mean to say all of this stuff to her, but she had it coming! "Why don't you wake up and take my job? Huh, Sayuri? Because you were so sad when we met the first time!" I stomp off, but I don't even know where I'm going. "You want this! You hate those guys... Why don't you go out and kill them!" I stop, ripping the bangles off my arms. I don't even know why I have them on anyway. "You make a so much better me! … Just... Just stop kidding around! You're smarter than me, faster than me, stronger than me..." I turn around and she's just staring at me, all hurt.

I tilt my head. Oh jeez, it's like I'm dealing with a four-year-old. "What's wrong with you now?"

"I—I don't know," she answers back. "You told me that if I believed in you, you'd believe in yourself."

"I know what I said," I spat, dropping the annoying things on the ground. "So?"

"And I believe in you now, Sayuri. So why isn't this working?"

"Ha!" I laugh sarcastically. "You actually believed all of that?" I narrow my eyes, waving my hands in the air. "I just said all of that so you could stop beating me up. There's nothing to believe in anymore. So don't even bother. If you think you can help everyone up there, then by all means, do. I'll just stay in here and walk around aimlessly. I don't want to be a Summoner anymore. It's not working out, and I'm not saving anyone." I sit back down on the ground again, rolling the bangles across the floor. I gaze up at dark Sayuri and she looks kind of hurt.

"So all of that was a lie?"

"I—" I stop, glancing at the ground. "I wish it were." And I'm being honest. "Truth be told, I suck at this gig. I want to be something else, you know! When I was little, I used to want to be a a weatherman or something. Something that wasn't so hard. Yeah, all I'd have to do is talk into a screen and give people false predictions about rain. Now look at me." I lift my arms up before throwing them back down. "I'm hurt, I'm tired, and I'm talking to the dark part of me. How many weather reporters get to talk to their dark sides? No. As a matter of fact how many people—"

Dark Sayuri puts her index-finger against my lips and grabs my right wrist, telling me to shut up. I'm just surprised that she would do something like that. "I remember everything, Sayuri," she says, smiling at me. "I'm you, remember? We made some of those decisions and choices together. But you know what I've always wanted to be? I've always wanted to be you. And even if we couldn't really talk to each other, I'd always dream of being able to see you. One day. If any day..." She isn't making me feel any less than dirt right now. As a matter of fact she's just confusing me more. "But I knew the only way we could ever meet is in your dreams. I guess you didn't really care about me." She lets me stand up and I narrow my eyes at her. Who the heck does dark Sayuri think she is? My stomach hurts, my legs feel weak... Can I get a break? Can the hero get a break?

"Well of course I don't dream of meeting my dark side a whole lot..." I murmur. "But we're here now, and you've at least reminded me that I've got to at least... Try. So I'll try, dark Sayuri." I pause, pointing up at the... Endless white void, I guess. "But there's no promises. I'm not saying I'll come out of this one alive. You're me, so you've seen what I've seen, and it's horrible up there. It looks like something in a movie. I'm surprised the castle is even still standing..." My stomach gurgles and bubbles—a sign that means I'm about to throw up at any given second.

"I've..." Sayuri says, looking at my hands. "You saved me when we were first fighting, remember Sayuri? Even if you want to take back everything you said, I won't let you." Oh joy. Damn me! Damn me straight to hell! "You made me remember that I have to trust in you, and I'm going to make you remember that you have to trust in yourself. If both of us don't trust in each other, we'll never get anything done and more people will die. The others will die." She stops, holding both of my hands. "Everyone in the Dark Ages will die." That's it. Now my blood boils. I hiss at her, slapping her hands away.

"Most of my friends are dead!" I exclaim, frowning at her. "And there's no way to get them back! You think everything is so easy! That's what I don't like about you." I pointed at her, digging my index-finger into her chest. "You always think that everything is so fine... So right... But in reality it's not. What would Naira and Defina say about all of this, huh? They're dead. I failed them. I failed everyone! So... Why would I go back only to fail again, Sayuri?" This time dark Sayuri doesn't give me any lip at all. She grabs my hand though and starts dragging me places. The white void around us starts crumbling in numbers... And hell no, I don't have the slightest clue as to what's exactly going on.

"Trust me, Sayuri, they'd be saying the same things too."

"How the hell do you figure!"

"Why don't you talk to them, huh?" Wait what. Did she just really tell me to talk to them? I look at her, mad that she would even lie like that! She knows how I feel about Naira and Defina! "Impossible! I can't talk to them they're dead!" I snort and dark Sayuri looks at me, tapping me on my nose. I've just about had it with her.

"Remember that guy who gave up?"

"What guy? I don't remember a guy!" I shout.

"Neither does anyone else!" She makes me stumble with that one. She just yelled at me so loud. "I'm going to whip you back into Summoner shape whether you like it or not. You're special, Sayuri. Kohana's told you that over and over again but you don't know how special you are." I'm almost tempted to ask her how special. I keep my mouth closed, though. I want to know how she can get me to talk to Naira and Defina. "Your dreams. Everyone and everything is connected. There are special times... Note. Special times where you can talk to the dearly departed in your dreams." That makes me smile so hard you guys don't even believe it!

But my face falls.

I—I don't want to... I—I don't want to talk to them and face my failure... "That's... That's nice, Sayuri..." I murmur, looking down at the ground. Now everything changes before my eyes and the two of us are standing in Aysel's castle. It looks exactly like the castle before it got blown straight to hell. Even... Even looking at the castle makes me hang my head down low. Do we really have to come here?

"Now I know you're just being full of it," she says, glaring at me. "Don't you want to talk to all the people that have left you? Don't you miss Tariku?" Pain hits me like it's never have before. How dare she bring up Tariku's name like she doesn't even know who that is! Tariku is a touchy subject all together, but dark Sayuri should know better! I'm growling at her, really growling at her, until someone touches my shoulder and I blink. But... But I'm afraid to find out who it is.

"Summoner Sayuri."

My fingers start aching. They start trembling as my eyes get all big and wide. That's not really Naira standing in front of me, is it? I lick my lips, narrowing my eyes. She looks just like she... I can't tell because my tears are coming up too fast. I feel like I should bow right down to her feet and apologize, and that's exactly what I do. "I'm. So. Sorry!" I plead, hyperventilating. I'm trying to find the words and breathe at the same time, but apparently that isn't working. I sound like a child being strangled. "Naira is this really you...?" I glance up, but just a bit because I'm not worthy of her gaze... I touch her legs and she kicks at me. Of course I crawl back, my mouth wide open.

"Summoner Sayuri," she mutters, her arms crossed. "I see you still have not changed. Ah, and who is this behind you? Looks just like you. Is she your sister or something quizzical like that?" Is this what it feels like to be stuck in-between your emotions? I'm as happy as I'll ever be right now. It's really Naira standing in front of me! I can tell from that stupid way she says my name—like she's insulted by it leaving her mouth—but that's what I love about her! That's what I miss about her... And then I'm sad because... There's no way this can be real...

And then I'm angry... Angry that I let this happen to her and angry tears slide out of my eyes. There's no way I can say anything right now. Dark Sayuri takes the stand, gesturing towards me while I let out a few tears in my sad... Angry... Mad rage. "I'm the dark part of Sayuri," she says, nodding her head. "It shouldn't be that hard to tell us apart."

"I am sure it won't," Naira says, scoffing. She sits in the nearest chair, and I'm even crying at the sound the seat makes when she sits in it. "No matter how pathetic you may be right now, Summoner Sayuri, I am still glad to see you. For once." I still can't get over this! How is this really possible? I stand up, rubbing my eyes. I'm going to talk to Naira. I owe her that much. "Summoner Sayuri," she says, glancing at me while scratching her shoulder. "I heard you. At our tombstones." Did she have to keep bringing up completely sad things? I choke on my tears and she rolls her eyes.

"Y—yeah... About that..."

I don't even get a chance to finish my sentence! Naira stomps on my head, banging repeatedly on it and I yelp each time. "What the hell!" I exclaim, finally managing to step away from her. I look at her and I notice that she has her sword. The same one that was supposedly buried along with her body. This has to be a dream. There's no way that this is possible. Naira scratches her head, sighing.

"I did not let myself get killed," she says sternly. "And you are not going to give up on this world. You hear me, Summoner Sayuri?" That's kind of unexpected, but I pay close attention to everything she has to say. I wipe my eyes too. Just because... Just because I don't want to look weaker than I'm already looking right now. "Yes, I have seen you in your worst of moods—absolutely and infuriatingly miserable!" she throws her hand up, rolling her orange eyes once more. "You—you still have a promise to keep to both Defina and I if you have not forgotten, Sayuri." That's it. I had enough of standing there and taking this.

"Too bad you guys aren't alive! And I can't make a livable world out of nothing! Because that's what the Dark Ages has been reduced to!" I yell, clenching my fists. "It's nice to know that you still believe in me, Naira, even when you shouldn't. I got you killed. This is all my fault—"

"To hell with whose fault it is!" My breath catches in my throat. "I know what happened. Defina knows what happens also. Yes Summoner Sayuri, we know that we were just the test subjects to that Apathīa. We know what has been transpiring in our absence. Dearest Summoner Sayuri, we have been watching you." Oh gee! More people to watch me! Great! I felt like crying again. Why were people up and watching me like I was... Like I was someone special? They need to watch someone else! "Everyone has. And when I say everyone... I mean, everyone who has died."

"What," I mutter. "Wait. Wait. Are you really dead Naira, or is this some sick prank...?"

"I feel as if I cannot get any deader than I am now," she snorts.

"Sayuri," dark Sayuri says, tapping me on my shoulder. "When people die, they have a never ending dream. At least this is what we call them. With that said, you have extraordinary dreaming prowess. You can communicate with one while they are sleeping—but only when you too are dreaming. This is how we are able to talk to Naira right now." She folds her arms, closing her dark eyes. I'm still in shock about all of this. "This is your first time doing this, and I hope it won't be your last. Your dreaming powers will only grow to get stronger as time goes by, and I hope you play with me more." Yeah, yeah. I just hope I can stay alive!

"While I am a bit infuriated that I died before that imbecile Lucrecia—"

I poke my nose. "Even in death, huh Naira? Can't you ever be happy?" Seriously! Every word that comes out of her mouth is "Wah, wah, Lucrecia! Wah, wah, fighting Lucrecia! Wah, wah, shut up you idiot I'm talking about Lucrecia!" I walk around the room, cock-eyed and all trying to imitate Naira in my head—and then I bump into someone tall. I fall back on my knees and glance up. And hey, it's Defina! In all of her dark-skinned, red-eyed, bitten all over glory! I get up and immediately go for the hug. Sure I'm squeezing the life out of her but I don't care Defina's awesome!

"S—Summoner S—Sayuri?" she stutters, not believing in me. "W—what are you doing here? Unless you—" She looks at dark Sayuri and almost has a seizure, but when she's in my arms? Nope. She doesn't get to fall out on me. Dark Sayuri gives Defina a wave and a faint smile. I still don't know why she's so happy all of a sudden. She hated these guys when we were fighting, and now all of a sudden they're cool? Dark Sayuri will be dark Sayuri though, huh?

"Fret not, sister," Naira says, waving her hand out dismissively. "Just another perk to the Summoner's miraculous abilities. She will be gone in just a moment." I let Defina go and take a few steps back, glancing at the red streaks in her black hair. She even smells the same. Why did I fail in protecting her...? Gah, I have time to angst and go sad-face later. Right now, Defina needs me. Naira, too. I take a good long intake of air and straighten out my corset.

"So..." I say, scratching my forehead. "Lemme get this straight. You guys are somewhere out there... Hanging around in a place that looks like Aysel's castle? But you guys died protecting Aysel, right? Don't you guys hate her or something like that? Hate Saivan? If I die, I'm prolly going to end up on some sandy beach. Heck yeah! Vacation time." So, somehow Naira manages to throw a pop can at my head and it sends me tumbling in the air. How she can tell dark Sayuri and I apart is confusing me greatly. I rub my head, touching the tears that are threatening to spill out from the corners of my eyes.

"Do not be so sure Summoner Sayuri," she murmurs. "You dreamed this place up, not us. We are in your dream. And as such, you call the shots. I would give anything to get away from Queen Aysel. I used to respect her dearly, and now I can only writhe in agony as she tears our very country apart. It is a very sad day for a former member of her guard..." Aww, look at how serious Naira looks right now! I snicker under my breath, poking both of my fingers together.

Naira looks at me with both of her fiery, orange eyes and I choke a bit. "Summoner Sayuri, you save the kingdom. You save the world! If Princess Renata ends up dying, I will not tolerate Lucrecia becoming the new ruler of the kingdom. That... You cannot let that happen! If Princess Renata falls, Queen Aysel's death is imminent." Naira closes her eyes, falling back on the couch. "And, of course, the people will want Lucrecia in charge, knowing not of how incapable she is of making decisions for herself, let alone an entire country." I tap my chin. You know, Naira's right. Lucrecia's dumber than she lets on.

Very much so.

"I say they should put Summoner Sayuri in charge, Naira," Defina says, tilting her head and smiling. Ha! I wave my hands out in front of me, denying everything completely.

"Nah! I'm not cut out for that kind of stuff," I say, shaking my head. "But it's a nice offer. Thank you, Defina." And besides, I could never dream of being able to rule an entire nation. Oh nooo, that's just not for me. Ah-nah, Summoner Sayuri doesn't do any of that, no sir. I spin on my heels, letting myself fall down backwards. "You guys don't know how much I missed you. Will I ever—" I pause, feeling the tears coming back. "Will I ever see you guys again?"

"Summoner Sayuri," Naira says, folding her arms. "If you do not try, you will see us, but you will be dead and we will be quite angry with you." I'm... I'm not getting the point to all of this hero stuff at all. I—I don't want to leave them here all by themselves... I look down at the ground and Naira leans in closer to me, snorting some more. "Do not worry your young little head about the deaths of more people." What? How can she say that! That's all I've been thinking about ever since—ever since... I claw my head, taking a few steps forward. "We're all fine. We're more than fine. Death is actually more relaxing than you think it is." What? I won't believe that even for a second! I look at Defina and she gives me an equally sad, pathetic look.

"Summoner Sayuri." I look up at Defina's scary red eyes and exhale. I swear I'm going to freak out in like two seconds. I kid you not. I will jump on the ceiling and stick up there. I just want to know one good thing. Why haven't I gone crazy like everyone else? After everything that's happened to me, I should be like Aysel or Saivan or something. "Really, we are fine. We are in a better place now. We are with our family, too." She gives me a sweet smile, tilting her head. I appreciate it, but for some reason I don't really believe Defina. I look through the corner of my eyes and dark Sayuri's playing with something. It looks like a shadow thing from what I can tell.

"Hey Sayuri," dark Sayuri says, her shaded eyes looking towards me. "We've gotta go somewhere else. Fast. Wrap this little thing up and lets get these things out of here." Oh man, don't tell me there's monsters in my dream that we've got to fight! I open my mouth, but when I back up a tear kind of falls out of my left eye and on the floor. Dark Sayuri's saying some stuff to me, but it's going through one ear and coming out the other. I don't want to... I don't want to leave these guys! Both Naira and Defina notice my tear and stare at me. Yeah, I'm a big baby. I sniff really loud and wipe my eyes with my arm.

"You'll do fine, Summoner!" Defina calls out, waving her hand. But... But... How are they so sure? How do they know I won't fail them again? I've already failed them once... I couldn't even protect their lives! I want to protest and I want to fight and kick, but they already trust in me way too much. Even Naira does, and I thought she hated me... Tears are forming in my eyes again but I have already cried enough in front of them. I don't want to seem like a weak Summoner to them... Dark Sayuri grabs the ribbon on the back of my corset, dragging me in the other direction.

"Bye!" I exclaim, waving my hand across the air frantically. Tears fly out from my eyelashes and, and... Naira raises one hand at me and it starts disappearing in zeroes and ones and stuff. The castle around us starts breaking down and next thing I know everything turns into this black and purple vertex. Oh, and did I mention how much the wind is kicking our asses right now? It's like a vortex thing! I feel like a helpless, defenseless leaf in the wind. And then get this! Dark Sayuri lets my ribbon go and I'm struggling to keep from flying off.

"W—where are we?" I ask, trying to shout over the wind. Dark Sayuri is just standing like there's no wind at all! In fact she looks okay. Fine. Dandy. I grit my teeth. She's so much better than I am it isn't even funny, so why am I the one stuck saving the world? I wish we were the opposite. If only... The vortex around us kind of looks like the nighttime... It's sparkling... As if there's stars winking at us. Dark Sayuri turns around and then the wind stops blowing.

"The Door to Tomorrow," she declares, raising one arm in the air. I tilt my head. I hate when people do that. Half-answer your questions. Bastard, does it look like I know what the Door to Tomorrow is? Argh! I'm not a genius! Lucrecia does that all the time, and so does Miyuki. Now my own self is doing it to me. "It's the space in-between dreams, Sayuri. We just left Naira and Defina's dream, and now we're following these little black things." Ah, those black spectrum see-through things? I look all around me and flinch at the sight of them. Some of them are holding see-through scythes, just floating around in mid-air.

"Let me guess," I say, scratching my chin. "These things go around eating dreams?"

"That's somewhat correct," she answers, tilting her head. "They destroy dreams—dreams from your childhood... From maybe a day ago... And they disguise themselves as dreams. Sayuri, these things bring people's spirits to the other side, should they die while sleeping." I flinch. That's horrible! "And another thing. They're coming straight for Chase." My eyes instantly shoot open and I look at dark Sayuri. She's got one hand on her hip, looking back at me.

"Like hell they're going to take Chase!" I yell. "C'mon, we have to do something—!" Dark Sayuri touches my forehead with her index-finger, pushing me back. I stumble, but I don't fall. Ha. Skills.

"Patience, Sayuri! Jeez, I forget what an idiot you really are..."

"Oh really nice, Sayuri," I mutter back. "You're me you idiot!"

"Correction: I am the smart part of you. Now let's get real. You've got to point us to whatever dream Chase is having. I know nothing about this man, but he seems to be really important to you." Huh? Did I just hear some jealously in dark Sayuri's voice? She's come so far, hasn't she? She used to hate Chase, and now she's telling me how to save his life? I would have never known these thing were trying to take him away if she didn't say anything... I look up into the nighttime sky, gazing at the miniature screens zooming across the sky like shooting stars.

Then something clicks.

I look back at dark Sayuri, my jaw dropping. "What is this...?" I mutter. "There's no way I can do this. There's too many dreams from too many people." I pause looking around me. "These are the dreams of every living person in the Dark Ages!" I see nightmares, I see people visiting their family members... It's all amazing, really. Dark Sayuri starts tapping her foot, like she's annoyed with me or something.

"You idiot! Follow the black things!"

"You should have told me that in the... Wait. There's more than one person dying in their sleep, dark Sayuri!"

She facepalms, seething. "No, no, no, Sayuri. Use them as a guide." She doesn't have to treat me like I'm two-years-old, you know! Frankly, I don't know what Chase dreams about. I've never asked him. And dark Sayuri's advice isn't helping either, but that's when I spot something. As fast as these dreams are moving, I thrust my hand out really fast.

"Freeze!" I yell, making one square stop. I move the square closer to us and it expands, rippling as the two of us stare at it. It's showing a picture of sunglasses. If this isn't one of Chase's weird dreams, I don't know what is. Who dreams of sunglasses? The two of us look at each other, and then on the count of three we jump through the square. Lo-and-behold, Chase is standing right in front of us with his sword in his hands, slashing at all of the black things like there's no tomorrow. And of course, there's a broken pair of sunglasses laying on the floor. Those must be the ones I saw.

I throw my hand up, smiling. "Even when you're supposed to be in a coma you're still fighting!" I laugh, waving. Chase glances at me, and then resumes fighting like he doesn't even see me! I'm about to get really mad until he looks back at me, really confused. I think that's cause he's looking at dark Sayuri too. A shadow thing sneaks up behind me and I put my hand through it, making it fade away. Wow, these things aren't that strong, are they?

"Summoner Sayuri?" Chase mutters before scratching the back of his head, smiling. "Hey! What the heck are you doing here? And why are there two of you...?" For whatever reason, dark Sayuri appears in front of Chase, snapping both of her fingers. Light covers the whole field we're in and the black ghost things start clumping together, forming one, big, giant shadow person. Chase raises his sword up and I scamper to where the two of them are.

"I'll explain later, Chase!" I yell, preparing my wand. "And dark Sayuri, why the heck did you just do that?" She gives me this look... This menacing look and then looks back at the thing in front of her.

"Wait..." Chase mumbles. "I'm in a coma?"

"There's no sense in fighting different copies of it," she answers. "They'll all keep coming back. You don't know anything about dreams, do you Sayuri? And you're supposed to be THE dreamer. Remember that?" Okay, Sayuri is about to officially lose any and all cool points she might have had with me. And Chase is just standing here confused. Oh, have I got a lot to tell him when we get him out of this mess. "Don't worry guys, I've got this. I haven't been up inside of Sayuri doing nothing." Dark Sayuri summons her wand and traces her fingers against the shape of it. Right before my eyes it lights up. Like, the whole thing. It lights up in fire!

"Woah!" I exclaim. "Aren't you burning yourself?"

"Nope," she answers back all cool-like. "I've got power over my fire Essences, thanks to watching you use it all the time." She spins her wand around in front of her and it's like a mini-tornado. Except it's a fire one! "These things hate light and everything associated with it!" She grunts, kicking her grey and white wand towards the towering black shadow thing and it screams in pain before disappearing all together. Chase sighs, walking over to his sunglasses and picking them up.

"Aww. These were new, too. Oh well." He puts the broken sunglasses in his pocket and then looks at us. "Thanks, Sayuri. I've been fighting those things for weeks!" He grins really big, but he doesn't know how right he is, does he? I bend over on one knee, breathing pretty heavy.

I think.

I just.

Saved Chase's life.

Both dark Sayuri and I start feeling something... It's like his dream is getting ready to end. Which means... Chase is going to wake up from his coma! I look back up at him and he's already fading away. I nod my head though. Anything for a friend. I look towards dark Sayuri and she's starting to fade away as well. In butterflies, too.

"Time for you to wake up, Sayuri," she says, tilting her head and smiling. "I hope we can play like this again sometime. I really miss playing around with you." Yeah, me too.

"So I'm waking up...?" I mutter, looking at Chase's dream world crumble. I snap out of it and grab Chase's shoulder. He's prolly being pulled into the world of the living, but I need to tell him something, even if he doesn't hear me. "Chase! When you wake up, tell Klaus I'm sorry!" I pause, gritting my teeth. "Because I've got other things to take care of, and I might not be able to really keep my promise. Oh, and wherever you are—because you must be safe right now—make sure you guys protect as many people as you can."

Saving Chase back there makes me realize how precious each second really is. Had I have done something wrong, he wouldn't be alive now. Is there anything really worth dying for? I don't know. I really haven't found the answer to that question, even though I really want to find an answer. I guess I'll never get an honest answer. Maybe I already have it.

I woke up and shook my head, noticing how everyone's paying zero attention to me. I tried to say something but there was this big-ass explosion. It knocked me off my feet pretty bad, and my vision was blurry to begin with. Dark Sayuri was gone... Chase was gone... It was only me and my responsibility. I had to do this because I am Summoner Sayuri. There wasn't anyone else like me. I am the hero.

And even if I didn't have a reason worth dying for, I lunged around the room and over some blonde-chick's head. The floor was still shaking really bad and the castle was falling apart, but I wasn't going to let Renata fall over the edge! Perspiration slid down my face and leaped across the air. It was like time stopped for me, even though I didn't tell it to. Honestly I was happy now, even if I let hundreds die. Because it's those same hundreds that want me to live! Naira was right... I can't spend my whole like sulking! They want me to succeed, dammit! They're all watching me.

And that's the reason why I jumped for Renata's hand, grabbing it even though my side of the floor is about to collapse.

Even though I'm as strong as a baby seal, my grip tightened on her hand and her eyes widened at the sight of me. "S—Sayuri?" It felt like there were a thousand eyes burning into the back of my head, but I gritted my teeth and held on as hard as I could onto Renata's hand. Any second now and we were both going to die in a second! Any day now, teammates!

I am not a weakling that couldn't survive. I'm not stupid for what I did, and I am that hero they've all been wishing for to come and save their lives.

I'm done with trying to find something to die for.

I've got something to live for.


A/N: How Chase always ends up as the messenger is beyond me. XD;; But at least he's AWAKE! XD Ahahahaha! Now everyone will have to apologize to him about shoving all the blame on him! Freaking bad characters of mine! Thinking he had something to do with conspiracy! D: Yes! At least he's awake now, you know? And yes, Renata didn't die. XD

I don't really have much to say this chapter. It's about to get good in a second, so pay attention? XD