"Greggers! I'll be back in a few hours," Jess called out, grabbing a light jacket.

"Where are you going again?" Greg asked, sticking his head out of his office and following his friend to the door.

"Lunch meeting."

"We don't have anything on the books…"

"Because it's not on the books."

Greg sighed. "I have a meeting with the printer in half an hour. I have to leave. I wrote that on our books."

Jess shrugged. "So we close for a few hours. No problem."

"Jess…"

"They're not lining up around the block, pretty boy. It's fine."

"Well, wait –who are you meeting?"

"If they turn out to be important, I'll let you know."

"We never talk anymore –if I didn't know better I'd think you were sneaking around," Greg teased.

"No need to be paranoid, dear," Jess winked.

"All right. Depending on how long we run I might not make it back in this afternoon."

"No sweat."

"Hey, you got plans this weekend?"

"Nothing solid."

"Kristen and I want you and Ella to come over for dinner. Saturday?"

"Ah! The renos are finally done!"

"Yes sir," Greg smiled. "And she didn't even injure me in my sleep. Not once."

"Always a plus. Have you talked to El?"

"Not yet. We were gonna see if Mike wanted to come too."

"Okay. Let her know if Mike's not around I'll pick her up."

"Will do. I'm off!" Greg waved as he sprinted down the steps and got in his car.

Jess paused before following him out the door, thought a moment and jogged back to his office. He took his phone out of his pocket and threw it on his desk. He'd left Rory a message around eleven and she had yet to call him back; rather than risk her calling when he was out with Kathleen, he decided to remove the possibility altogether. As he walked back towards the door, his trademark smirk crept across his crooked lips –it'd been years since he'd gone too far afield without a phone on his person. It felt very liberating.


"You did not!" Kathleen screeched between peals of laughter. She was cackling so hard her eyes started to water and her back muscles started to seize.

"I did. Although it's a good thing I didn't get the same reaction out of the crowd as it's gotten from you. It would've ruined my fun," Jess said with a smirk.

"Did they know it was you?"

"You mean did I admit to it? Hell no, that would've ruined all the fun. I'm sure everyone had their suspicions that it was me –I was banking on it. The only one who really didn't buy that I had nothing to do with it was my uncle. But the yelling from my dear uncle was worth it, to see the look on Taylor's face. I swear if Stars Hollow were an actual cartoon –"

"Wait… the town you lived in was called Stars Hollow? A place called Stars Hollow actually exists in the real world?"

Jess chuckled. "Have you seen Pleasantville? It's kinda like that, but weirder and less heavy on the racial symbolism. People rarely leave Stars Hollow –my uncle, for example- it's like the slogan from Cheers; it's the place where everyone knows your name –and in many cases, your personal business too. Everyone is absurdly cheery and… kooky. It's like every stereotype of a small town that you can think of –they're all alive and well in Stars Hollow."

"So creating the outline of a dead body with tape was meant to fuck with them a little, huh? I'm assuming it worked."

"Oh yeah. If Taylor were a cartoon, he would've turned fire engine red and steam would've blown out of his ears."

"Taylor?"

"The town Selectman," Jess said sarcastically.

Kathleen started to laugh again. "Mayor is a perfectly adequate title."

"I know, but don't ever tell him that. Anyway, I'm pretty sure that a decent portion of onlookers got a good laugh out of it, even if they had to appear horrified."

"Had you ever pulled any pranks like that before?"

"I'm a master at pulling pranks."

"It's amazing what the internet can teach you, huh?"

"Who said I needed to be 'taught'?" Jess asked playfully, winking.

Kathleen sighed, giggled and threw her soft bread roll at him.

There were a few minutes of comfortable silence as they paused their conversation to continue eating.

"What about you?" Jess asked after swallowing a mouthful of food. "Underneath that sweet, pretty exterior of yours is there a master prankster or a twisted sense of humour? The beautiful and sweet ones are rarely as sweet as they seem."

Kathleen blushed; the fact that he'd called her beautiful is something she wondered if he was aware she'd caught. "I'm not really that interesting," she said quietly, tucking a loose strand of her light auburn hair behind her ear.

"Oh come on! Do you know how hard it would be for people to have literally no stories?"

"Okay," she smiled. "What kind of story do you hear?"

"Whatever you want to tell me," Jess said softly, grinning.

"Well, it's nothing compared to taping the outline of a body outside on the sidewalk, but anytime my older brother would tease me or piss me off, I used to sneak into his room before we went to bed and put icepacks in the bottom of his bed."

"That's pretty awesome actually."

"And the best part for me was –you'd think after I did this a few times he'd learn to lay off, right?"

"He never did, did he?"

"No! It pissed him off to no end and he'd throw very colourful language at me when my parents weren't listening – I even told him, 'Your bed will no longer be an igloo as soon as you stop being mean,' and he never stopped."

"Boys are glorious idiots."

"Men sometimes aren't much better," Kathleen said sarcastically.

"Touché," Jess chuckled. "Well, if I ever start grating on your last nerve just tell me to fuck off. There's no need to chase me with icepacks."

Kathleen smiled. "I kinda like you. I really don't want you going anywhere."

Jess smiled back at her. "Well, that's a relief. So," he said, after a beat of silence, "aside from your brother being an occasional idiot and the two of you turning picking on each other into an Olympic sport, you guys close?"

"Yeah. I mean, we're not best friends. I never understood the my-sibling-is-my-best-friend dynamic. But yeah, we're all really close."

"All? How many other siblings do you have?"

"One more brother and a sister."

"Wow, that must've been somethin' else growing up."

"Yeah, our house was pretty much always chaos. But it was fun. My parents taught us all to never take ourselves too seriously –making our own fun was always way better than doing what everyone else was into."

"I hear that."

"Now I'm surrounded by my nieces and nephews and my brothers and my sister are raising them the same way our parents raised us. So, it's pretty crazy."

"Normal is boring," Jess smirked. "How many nieces and nephews do you have?"

"So far? Five."

"Wow."

"Yeah. What about you?" Kathleen asked. "Are you close with your family?"

"I –um, I don't really have a lot of family," Jess admitted. "My dad ran off when I was a baby. He's probably still selling tee shirts on a boardwalk in California somewhere. And my mom –I was… not an easy son to have and my mom really didn't know what she was doing, so she left me to my own devices a lot. The motherliest thing she did –if you can call it that- was to send me to a tiny town in Connecticut to live with my uncle. She couldn't really deal with me, or didn't want to, so I became my uncle's problem."

"Jess, I –I don't know what to say. I'm sorry I –"

"Oh stop," Jess waved away her concern. "Nothing to be sorry for."

"But, I –"

"But nothing. It's fine. I'm good. My uncle and I are good now and I have friends who are my family. You wanted to know why 'sweet and charming' weren't things people typically say about me –well, there ya go. I was an idiot. I learned. I grew up. It was a long time ago, it's really not a big deal anymore. I answered you, didn't I?"

"But I –I didn't mean to –"

"Stop," Jess said softly, reaching across the table to put his hand over hers, "really. It's okay. My lack of a happy family growing up does not mean you have to feel bad about telling me about yours."

Kathleen sighed sadly and stared at the table, but she made no move to take her hand out of his.

"Are you ever going to look at me again?"

Kathleen looked up slowly, until their eyes locked.

"If you say you're sorry one more time, I'm leaving."

At this, she cracked a tiny smile.

"There," Jess grinned, releasing her hand, "that's better. Now, let's turn that nervous smile into some confident happiness, shall we?"

"How?"

"Dessert," he winked.


Jess left his lunch date with a spring in his step. They didn't do anything more than flirt and talk. But the talking was good. Reaching out to take her hand when she was upset was the most physical contact they had the entire time. They left without even making plans to see each other again. But he knew he'd see Kathleen again soon – and so, there was a spring in his step.

He got back to Truncheon, picked up a message from Rory and called her back right away. "Hey, sorry I missed your call; I had a lunch meeting."

"I missed your call first. We're even," Rory chuckled. "Does Friday work for you? Logan's going out with some friends for the afternoon, so…"

"Yeah, you got it. I can wrap up a bit early that afternoon and be out there by like, three?"

"Sounds good. Come to Stars Hollow through, not Stamford. I'm having dinner with Mom and Luke."

"I wonder what Luke would say if I crashed the party…"

"I'm sure they'd be happy to see you."

"My, how times have changed, huh?" Jess chuckled.


"Again!" Hannah laughed. "Again! Bass!"

"Hannah, that's enough baby. No more," Rory sighed.

Hannah looked at Jess with sad eyes.

"Rory, come on," he whispered. "What do you think I'm going to do, drop her?"

"Fine, Rory relented. "But stop spinning her in circles, unless you want to clean her up when she vomits."

Jess grinned at Hannah and she immediately started to giggle and screech. He ran up to her in two short strides and grabbed her underneath her tiny arms, scooping her up and sitting her on his shoulders. His hands still holding her steady by her armpits, he straightened his arms and lifted her above his head and tilted her forward slightly. "Wings!" he said excitedly. Hannah straightened her elbows and held her arms outstretched on either side of her, like wings.

"Me fly!" Hannah laughed.

"So, how's Logan doing? Holding up okay?" Jess asked easily. He wasn't even out of breath; if you weren't looking at him, you'd have no idea he was holding a small toddler inches above his head while he walked.

"I think so, yeah," Rory said uneasily. "I don't know. He doesn't talk about it much. He's not shutting me out… exactly… but he's not really talking about it much –or anything, to be honest."

"And you thought when I did that it was a pain in the ass," Jess laughed.

"Ha, ha. Anyway, he's with his Life and Death Brigade buddies tonight, so I figured Hannah and I would come here, spend some time with Mom and Luke. We'll go back tomorrow."

"His –his what?"

"Lie an Det Bwigad, Bass," Hannah said from above him.

"How – how, how… does she know anything approximating those words?" Jess laughed. "And you give me a hard time for lifting her above my head and letting her fly too much?"

"The Life and Death Brigade was like a secret society at Yale…" Rory started to explain.

"A secret society? You're kidding, right? And here I thought The Midnight Society was the coolest society there was…"

"Anyway, he and his friends still use the term, that's all."

"Sure. Whatever you say."

"Can I fly allll da way to Loooooke's, Bass?" Hannah asked, moving her neck forward to look at his upside-down face.

"You like it up there, huh?" he asked.

"Ya. Fun!" she giggled.

"One flight, direct to Luke's diner, coming up!"


"So what's wrong with the dollhouse then?" Robert asked.

"Nothing –I don't know, I haven't even seen the damn thing," Logan said, staring into his beer glass.

"Wait, why'd she send it again?" Colin wondered.

"She's 'sorry'. Whatever that means," Logan sighed.

"Sorry for what, exactly?" Robert questioned.

Logan chuckled bitterly. "Everything? Nothing? She might have no idea. Your guess is as good as mine, man."

"Well, let's look at this logically, shall we mate?" Finn chimed in.

"Logical? You? The floor's yours –God help us," Colin laughed.

"Look, I can't tell you what to do and I'm very glad you have to decide that, not me… because yikes –"

"Finn…" Logan muttered through a clenched jaw.

"Nor can I hazard a guess as to what a remorseful Shira Huntzberger actually looks like, because, well… but maybe in her own way, she is sorry. I mean think about it –it's been well over a year, so the statute of fake remorse has since passed, long ago, for normal people, let alone your mother, whose statute of making something like this seem genuine –I hate to break it to you mate, but she just wouldn't.

"She was with your sister in California in January and Honour didn't really realize anything was amiss until the giant house showed up on the doorstep of her –her house," Finn laughed. "Right?"

"Okay, why does that have anything to do with –" Logan started to say.

"Because Honour would've told you if she thought something happened while your mom was there to blow your cover. She didn't."

"And Logan, if she'd said anything to Mitchum he'd never have let her send anything," Colin pointed out.

"Jesus Christ, since when do you guys have so much faith in my mom?" Logan asked bitterly.

"Who said we had faith in her?" Finn asked indignantly. "All I'm saying is that it's highly unlikely she'd go to all that trouble to pull your leg. Your mom's nice enough, but she isn't very bright, Logan."

"There's nothing to say this isn't a flight of fancy and she's simply trying to buy your love," Robert pointed out, "which is something she'd definitely do. But on some level, even if she doesn't understand what for, or how complicated it is, she probably is sorry."

"She may also think that buying your daughter a fancy dollhouse and sending it with a sad letter is enough for case closed. By now she might've reverted back to indignance because you haven't called her grovelling to accept her apology," Colin said astutely.

"Actually yeah, that's probably very true there, Logan," Finn agreed. "So basically, even if we happen to be right and your mom isn't in cahoots with the Dark Lord Mitchum, you're still fucked, aren't ya?"

"Gosh," Logan said in a flat monotone, "I feel so much better now." Her downed the rest of his beer. "Sadly, that's only one of my problems. Mitchum definitely knows the paper went under."

"Rory does too, hey?" Finn asked.

"Of course she does, you idiot."

"Sorry, just trying to keep track of the things we're allowed to say in front of her."

"Have you heard anything from him yet?" Robert asked.

"No," Logan said quietly, "that's what scares me."

"Jesus, your luck really blows," Colin sighed. "Oddly enough if the dollhouse from your mom has nothing to do with the timing of the paper."

"Thank you, Colin. I had no idea."

"This outing is getting depressing," Finn said sadly, digging in his pocket for his phone. "Time to lighten the mood."

Logan, Robert and Colin all rolled their eyes.

"Look at those beauties!" Finn said proudly, showing his friends an Instagram post of himself standing in a wetsuit pulled down to expose his sculpted chest, holding in each hand a Queensland lungfish, nearly five feet long apiece. "Before you accuse me of pillaging a protected fish, I threw them back."

"Why is your wetsuit half off?" Colin asked.

"The ladies wanted to admire my sculpted bod," he said, smiling proudly.

"Ugh, I think I might be sick," Robert said sarcastically.

"It does look a little like you have two giant silver dicks, Finn," Logan laughed, "with faces."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night, Logan dear," Finn quipped, batting his eyelashes at his friend. "They can have tails too, if you like that kind of imagery."

"Those do have tails," Colin said.

"Precisely. But not nearly as nice as the tail they got me, if you know what I mean."

"Did you also tell these lucky ladies that the adage that applies to rear-view mirrors also applies in reverse to your… tail?" Logan asked, tying to keep a straight face.

"What's that, then?" Finn asked.

"Objects may appear larger in reflection than they truly are!"

"Oy! Logan, I will throw my beer in your face and send you home smelling like this bloody bar unless you take. That. Back."

"Rory's in Stars Hollow tonight, throw all the alcohol on me that you'd like."

"Besides," Finn said, putting his phone away, "it's not nearly so small for people it likes."

"Oh God!" Robert laughed. "Shut up, Finn! We don't need to be discussing your… size. Not all of us want to throw up tonight."

"Logan started it," Finn said crossly.


"Hey," Logan said groggily. "Did you just get home?"

"Yeah," Rory said quietly. "Did you sleep out here?"

Logan nodded.

"Why?"

"Might've been too drunk to find my way to the bedroom after the boys were done with me."

"Dunk? What that?" Hannah asked.

Logan grinned. "Nothing, princess. You don't need to worry about what that is for a loooooooong time, okay?"

Hannah sighed and nodded, reaching for her father.

"How was Stars Hollow? How were Luke and Orai? Hmm?"

"Good. Bass too."

"You saw Jess?"

Hannah smiled. "Ya."

"How was that?"

"He helped me fly," she said excitedly.

"Fly?" Logan asked, letting his eyes get wide. "How high?"

"Higher dan his head!"

"Wow!"

"All the way to Looooke's!"

"Sounds like so much fun!"

"Ya!" she nodded, putting her head down on Logan's chest. "Missed Dada…"

"I missed you too, Nannah," Logan whispered. "You too," he said to Rory.

"Did you have fun?" Rory asked.

"Yeah. But it's good to be home. Ace, we have to talk about some stuff."

"I know," she said, kissing the top of his head softly. "We will. But right now, Hannah missed her dad. What we have to talk about will keep until after she goes to bed tonight."


"Mike's sorry he can't make it guys. He got pulled into a meeting at work."

"On a Saturday?" Kristen asked.

"Apparently it's super important," Ella answered sarcastically. "He said he'd much rather be here."

"Next time," Greg smiled.

"Wow, this place looks awesome," Jess said, looking around. "Congratulations, Kristen."

Jess' comment caught her off-guard. Her blue eyes went wide. "For what?"

"Not killing your husband."

Kristen laughed and tucked a strand of her pale blonde hair behind her ear. "Yeah, it was really touch and go there for a while. But I kinda like him, so…"

Greg kissed his wife's forehead. "I'm not worthy of her mercy."

"Nope. He's really not."

"Dinner smells great," Ella said, smiling.

"It'll be ready soon," Greg said, "but before we go in and sit down…" he looked at his wife.

Kristen started nodding as a wide smile broke out across her face.

"Okay, what's going on? You're not planning our murder, are you? Because Ella and I can go," Jess said jokingly.

"I didn't actually tell you about the full extent of the renovation. It actually got more complicated only a few weeks before we were scheduled to finish," Greg explained.

"I'm not surprised. Renovations never go to plan."

"We had to add a nursery," Kristen said, smiling.

Ella looked at her friends, back and forth and back and forth again. They both nodded in confirmation and Ella felt her eyes well up with tears. "Oh my God!" she laughed. "This is amazing! Congratulations!" She and Kristen embraced.

Jess stood there smirking, almost to himself.

"You gonna say anything, Jess?" Greg laughed.

"You sure it's yours, pretty boy? You weren't so preoccupied with tearing this house apart that she was forced to get her needs met elsewhere, were you? Because that'd just be sad. And I'd kill you," Jess joked.

"You're very funny."

"Congratulations man. Really," he said earnestly. "You'll both be amazing. Kristen! Come here, you," Jess smiled, wrapping his arms around her as Ella and Greg hugged tightly. "Is that why you looked so shocked when I said congratulations?"

"I thought he blabbed," Kristen laughed, wiping away tears.

Jess kissed her cheek. "He didn't say a thing; no need to kill him. You're really gonna need him now. Once he's done babyproofing the house, he and I'll get started on the office. Truncheon's gonna be gaining a new little business partner soon."