Babyface99f and daisesndaffidols wanted a sequel to chapter 51. They wanted Booth to overhear Brennan and Hannah's conversation in the bar and see Booth's reaction.
This chapter will be seen from Booth's point of view. This chapter takes place a few days after "The Bullet in the Brain" and will overlap chapter 51.
I don't own Bones.
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The Founding Father's was noisy and Booth was able to walk up behind his two favorite women without them noticing him. Seeing Charlie standing towards the rear of the bar, Booth stopped and waved. Turning back to look at Brennan and Hannah, Booth heard his name mentioned and realized that they were talking about him. Curious and oh so human, Booth waited where he was standing and strained to listen to what they were saying.
"You're wrong Hannah. Booth would have appreciated the call if you had bothered to check on him. It would have showed him that you care for him. It would have shown him that his safety is important to you."
"Look, I know for a fact that he said you showed up in record time from the Jeffersonian to check up on him. My calling wouldn't have mattered since you and Cam had already checked up on him and he does know I care about him, Temperance. I moved in with him didn't I? I'm living with him aren't I? If I didn't care for him I wouldn't have done that. He doesn't need me to bug him with phone calls, checking up on him. I'm not his mother. He's a FBI agent for God's sake not some pencil pusher who's never even seen a bar fight let alone a fire fight. Seeley can take care of himself and he doesn't need me to smother him."
Not understanding what they were arguing about, Booth leaned forward and tried to get closer without getting too close.
"Hannah, Booth needs you to show that you care for him. He is a very demonstrative person. He needs those that care for him to be demonstrative. I am not very demonstrative; but, even I know that he needs for those who are close to him to acknowledge when he's been in a dangerous situation and that they are worried about his well being. You should have called him Hannah. In Booth's case, it would have been the right thing to do."
"You worry too much about Seeley, Temperance. You really do."
"And I don't think you worry enough, Hannah."
Booth, feeling a little upset and confused, turned around and left the bar quickly. Walking back out into the brisk night air, Booth slowly walked back towards his truck and then stopped. Looking back at the entrance to the bar, Booth shook his head and tried to keep his temper in check. Deciding that he was too upset to drive, Booth put his hands in his jacket pockets and started walking.
"They must have been talking about Taffet being murdered and me standing near by. That's it. I don't understand. Hannah thinks Bones worries too much about me and Bones thinks Hannah doesn't worry enough? What the Hell?" Booth thought.
His thoughts racing, Booth continued on his aimless walk, "Hannah is right, she isn't my mother; but, really, why didn't she call me when Taffet was murdered? Just a quick call, Hey Seeley, how you doing? Good, Ok, got to go; but, no, not even that. Don't I rate a phone call? I thought Hannah loved me? If she loved me you'd have thought she'd have called. Bones and Cam broke traffic laws to get to where I was in record time and they're just my friends. Well, that's not true. They're my best friends. They love me and I love them. Still, shouldn't someone who says she loves me at least feel like a phone call would have been needed. I would have called her. Wouldn't I have? A quick call. It's not like I expected a long conversation. Just a quick call."
Stopping at a street corner, Booth looked back the way he had come, "Does she love me? Does she really? She thinks Bones worries too much about me and Bones thinks Hannah doesn't worry enough. God does she love me? I'm so damn confused."
Turning back around, Booth started walking back towards the bar. Removing his hands from his jacket pockets, Booth stopped and pulled his phone from his pant pocket. Thinking, Booth called the one who was supposed to love him or at least the one he thought loved him.
"This is Hannah."
Not sure what to say, Booth ended the call. Placing the phone into his jacket pocket, Booth crossed the street and continued to walk back towards the Founding Fathers. Arriving in front of the bar, Booth sat down on the bench located across the street from the bar.
Staring at the entrance to the Founding Fathers, Booth thought, "She moved back to the states to be with me. That's what she said. Hell, she moved in with me. She says she loves me; but, does she? She's gone more than she's here. Did she really move in with me or am I just her booty call when she needs it? Is my apartment just a free place to keep her stuff? Bones doesn't think Hannah worries enough about me. Maybe she's right. Maybe Bones is right and I'm wrong."
Leaning forward, Booth placed his head in his hands and looked down. "Do I love Hannah? Do I really? I keep telling myself I do. I want to love her. I want someone to love me; but, does she? Does she love me?"
Swallowing, Booth sat back up and stared at the bar again, "Ok, hotshot, you're a detective, think like one. What's your evidence that she loves you? She moved back to the states and she moved in with you. She said she isn't the marrying kind and she could never commit to anyone permanently; but, she moved in with you. Why did she do that? Because I asked her to. She didn't say anything about living with me when she came back. I did. She says she loves me; but, not enough to ever marry me or even to commit to a permanent relationship with me. Is that love? Shouldn't you be able to at least commit to someone if you love them? I don't know. Isn't love commitment?"
Standing, Booth thrust his hands back into his jacket pockets and started walking again. "Am I so terrible that no one can really commit to me? It's not like I'm asking anyone to die for me, I just want them to really love me. Why can't I find that person? God, I don't think Hannah is that person. She thinks Bones worries too much about me and Bones doesn't think Hannah worries enough."
Frustrated with his thoughts, Booth stopped and looked up at the sky. Searching for answers and not finding them, Booth dropped his head back down and looked at the ground. "Bones worries about me all of the time. She puts up with my bullshit and lets me get away with crap. She shouldn't; but, she does. Bones says she doesn't love me; but, she really cares about me. Hannah says she loves me; but, really, does she care about me? Does she? Hell, if I tried to get away with half the crap I have with Bones, Hannah would be gone in a flash."
Standing up straight, Booth ran his right hand through his hair. Sighing, Booth walked back towards the bar again. "Yeah, she would be gone in a flash wouldn't she. She says she loves me; but, she doesn't really know me. She just knows this perfect boyfriend. If she knew me, the real me, would she still be around? Would she? Bones knows me. God she knows me more than anyone else alive and Bones is still my friend and partner."
Arriving back at the bench, Booth sat down again. Sighing, "She says she doesn't love me like a woman does a man; but, really, does that matter? I don't think any woman will ever love me like that. Does that matter any more? I thought it did; but, really, does it matter? Not everyone finds their soul mate. So what if I can't have mine. I know who my soul mate is. She just doesn't think she's mine. Hell, she doesn't even think I have a soul. That's ok though. It is. It is ok. She's my best friend. I know she loves me that way. Maybe that's all I get. Maybe that's all I'm allowed to get."
Bending over, Booth put his elbows on his knees and stared at his feet. "Hannah doesn't love me. We shouldn't be living together. I can't be that perfect boyfriend anymore. Afraid to rock the boat. Hell life is a rocky, leaky boat. If I'm afraid to live my life around Hannah, if I'm afraid to be who I am, then I can't be in love with her. I'm not in love with her. I'm in love with Bones. I want Bones. If I can't have Bones the way I want, I'll take her the way I can. That's it. That's all. Bones worries about me. Hannah never will."
His decision made, his mind clear, Booth stood up and walked across the street. Taking a deep breath, Booth entered the bar to confront the woman he thought he had loved.
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Well, what do you think? Plausible? I know it's sad the way I wrote this; but, I based Booth's possible turn of thought on the fact that he sublimated his feelings for Brennan for most of season 5 and I think if he'd had a chance to see that Hannah was using him he would have fallen back into old patterns and been drawn back to Brennan whether she could admit her love for him or not. Let me know what you thought of this chapter. I'd appreciate it. Thanks.
