Chapter 59
Martel and Kratos
Martel sighed as she swallowed the last pill in the bottle. She knew it was over now, life was fine again. She knew it was gone and that was better for her. She felt sick doing it but it was the only way out now. Kratos kissed her lightly just as she threw the bottle out.
"Martel, what are you doing?" He said smiling.
"You really wanna know?" She said unsure if he wanted to know.
"Yeah…" He said uncertain of why she'd ask, she was just standing there.
"The baby is gone."
"What are you talking about, you're pregnant aren't you?"
"Not anymore, I haven't been taking medicine for headaches. They were to get rid of the baby."
"Why?"
"I'm sorry, but I'm not ready for this Kratos."
"You aborted the baby?" He said still in shock.
"Yes…I'm sorry I'm too weak to do this…I can't let myself have a child."
"You could have talked to me about it first."
"You wouldn't have let me."
"It's your choice but I don't understand it."
"I don't want to have a child at this point in my life, I'm not ready for it. It would be messed up like I am, I have enough problems on my hands as it is. I can't do it."
"I understand, but doesn't it bother you at all?"
"Yeah, but I'm not cut out to be a mother. Even if I ever wanted to have kids, I just don't think I could do it."
Kratos sighed and left to his room, he lie down on his bed thinking about it. She had only been trying to hide it, that she didn't want a baby.
Martel quietly left his house and went to her own. She threw open the door and walked through the cluttered floor and onto her bed. She curled up and cried. She felt that was all she knew how to do. She grabbed a bottle of pills, they were more abortion pills, and she hadn't taken all of them yet. She didn't know if the baby was really gone. She was too scared to take them, she cowered more as Kratos came in.
"Martel don't take them."
"Kratos…"
"I saw the bottle, if you don't take those the baby could live."
"Why do you care?"
"Because It's my baby too Martel."
"But I can't do that. I can't allow this baby to live, it will just grow up like me and get all messed up."
"Martel. Please, don't do this, you're not well."
"I know that, but I still have enough judgment to abort it completely."
"No you don't." He picked up the pills and took them to the bathroom and poured them into the toilet and flushed it.
"What did you just do?"
"I got rid of the rest of the pills Martel, you're having that baby."
"No Kratos, I don't want to."
"Please, you aren't well right now. You need to relax, please listen."
"Alright, but if when I'm feeling better can I decide again?"
"Yes."
Martel didn't understand why she was listening to him, she never really did. She kept crying and sobbing no matter how often he told her it was ok. She couldn't bring herself to even look at him.
"Martel, I know you're not happy with me but you can't kill that baby."
She just cried more, but she looked up at him.
"Kratos, look at me, I'm a mess. I'm weak. I'm horrible."
"No you're not, you're only what you make of yourself. You are not weak or horrible. You are the most amazing woman I know. I love you Martel and I can't let you kill this baby. It's mine too and I care about this."
"I'm not ready for a baby Kratos."
"You aren't yet, but when the time comes you will be."
"No, you don't get it, I'm never going to be ready."
"Martel…"
"It's true, even if you want it I can't…"
"What are you so afraid of?"
"That they'll end up like me, knocked up or worse…I don't want them to have to be near me because I don't want them to be like me."
"Martel, stop it…"
"Its true, I got knocked up and everything…"
"So what? We love each other."
"It doesn't matter."
"Martel, just calm down, you'll be fine, just get some rest."
Kratos sat and stroked her face softly until she fell asleep. He couldn't let her kill the baby, it was his too. Even if she didn't want it, she wasn't well and they both knew it.
