Don't Own Oregairu
Chapter 50: Penultimate play
She wore glasses.
He didn't understood the significance of it until he stepped out from the bathroom for a moment, at her request, allowed her a moment of solitude to gather her own thoughts and then stepped back into the bathroom-after almost ten minutes of awkwardly standing around; doing nothing, thinking nothing- only when she asked him to come back in.
Like he said, a pair of glasses framed her beautiful face, sitting poignantly on her nose. Her dominant hand was holding a book upright and judging by the size and thickness of the volume, this was only meant for a little light reading.
He imagined Haruno reading far thicker books at her leisure, perhaps before going to sleep late in the night.
A small flute of red wine, from the same bottle he had with her earlier, at the living room, was being held by its glass stem and brought to her moist, red lips.
Haruno took a small sip; he watched the movement of her throat, tracing the pathway of the warm beverage trickling down her gullet and when she breathed a small sigh after one audible gulp, Hachiman felt a warmth sensation settling deep within his belly.
One, single droplet of the red liquid, lay perched on her lower lip. Her tongue darted out slowly from within her mouth and he watched her swipe away that drop of wine back into her mouth, in a sweet, lingering manner.
Hachiman watched her lick her lips in afterthought; the kiss was not a distant memory. It was true that Haruno initiated the kiss, but what was also true is that he was moments from kissing her in the first place. Either way, they would have kissed. Whether it was him or her, didn't matter to him anymore.
"Thank you for waiting outside, Hachiman" Haruno said. "As you can see, I needed to gather a few things to collect my thoughts." Her eyes did not meet his. "I usually read while taking a bubble bath. I find it quite relaxing after a long day of…being myself." She was looking at the book and he wondered whether she was really reading the contents of the page. "A small bit of wine also helps me wind down a little after a…interesting day." She turned her head sideways, still refusing to look at him. "I…don't know why I am saying these things to you."
Hachiman kept looking at her. "You think you owe me an explanation, Haruno-san" He said slowly. "But let me tell you, you don't have to say anything to me if you don't want to. I will listen to whatever you have to say without being judgmental and I will forget them easily if you think I am incapable of keeping your trust. You said you need my help and I am willing to help you." He took a small step towards her. "Just tell me how."
Haruno flipped a page of her book using her finger. Nothing was said, nothing was done for an entire minute. "Are you treating this like one your service club requests?" her voice wavered, shaking with barely suppressed annoyance. A hint of rage escaped. "Do you really think I am that pathetic?"
"No." Hachiman said swiftly. "I only think you are right in asking me for help."
"Oh really?" Haruno said rhetorically. "'I am right in asking you for help', you say." A sharp glint was cast upon her eyes. "You have developed quite a high opinion of yourself haven't you and look! It took you only a couple of minutes to change your tone." Haruno smirked maliciously. "Are you proud of yourself, Hachiman?" A hint of bitterness laced her voice. "Making me ask, almost making me beg and now forcing me to depend on you." A look of pure self loathing marred her features. "You are turning me into Yukino-chan, Hachiman."
"No you are not Haruno." A personal touch was needed; he provided. "You are the same person you always were." Distances mattered; he inched closer. "Maybe I never got to see her. Perhaps you never intended to show me." A dry chuckle was not required; he almost didn't. "Then again, I don't know; sometimes, I just overlook stuff. No! No! No, I don't." Self inspection was a sad joke. "No, I just refuse to see them." Self loathing was lovely, "Maybe you showed yourself to me, your true self I mean." Blame was a fickle mistress. "And I just wasn't looking."
Ever since he returned, Haruno hadn't looked at him once. "It's not your fault, Hachiman." Her eyes finally fell upon him, "I never showed you anything, except for a glimpse here and there, when I was feeling especially reckless." She sunk lower; water and bubbles taking her in, providing a safe haven, "At least that's what I tell myself."
"We seem to tell our own selves a lot of things, don't we?" Hachiman mumbled remorsefully, "But we never seem able to tell others." A poignant moment was shared between them. "A third party always remain elusive."
Haruno chuckled at his sophistry, "I don't know. You and Yukino-chan always have Gahama-san hanging around, always tagging along like a lovey-dovey puppy." A small splash rang aloud from the bathtub; annoyance was clear. "You two seem unable to make most of the arrangement. In fact, I think it only makes it more miserable; an unwanted third wheel, if you will."
"It's only miserable when we make it." Hachiman felt the need to defend, "Yuigahama is a valuable member of our club. She contributes in her own way; gathering information from other students, keeping tabs on everything that's happening around us when we think it's not worthy of our attention, getting other people to help us out in a time of need and most importantly, always trying to keep the atmosphere in the club from turning hostile." This level of certainty was assuring to him and extremely annoying to her. "Without Yuigahama, I would end up saying something horribly offensive to Yukinoshita and then, she would righteously kill me with one of her special martial arts moves. Seriously, the looks I get sometimes! That aura of killer intent! Let me tell you, I'm surprised I made it so far without even getting hit once." A little bit of humour should have made things easy; he was wrong.
Haruno was shaking; Hachiman looked worried.
"…Haruno-san?"
"Never say that name in my bathroom." Her voice was dark and deep. "That name is forbidden! It shall not be spoken when I am either in my bathroom or in my bedroom. Remember that! Always remember that, Hikigaya Hachiman."
He messed up somewhere; he shouldn't ask. "What name, Haruno-san?" Sometimes, he never listened to his brain. This was one of those times.
Haruno was unnervingly quite, "…Yukinoshita." A barely audible whisper came out from her mouth, meant only for his ears. She said nothing else; no other explanation whatsoever.
Hachiman was a little troubled. "You mean your sister?" he asked tentatively.
"No." Haruno was seething. "I mean 'Yukinoshita', the 'Yukinoshita!'" Water splashed everywhere, bubbles bursting in droves. "My family name." The bathtub overflowed, water dripping outside. "I don't want to hear any mention of it while I'm in my bathroom!" Pure hate was the only thing Hachiman saw in her eyes, "Say, you will remember it, Hikigaya Hachiman. Say. It." Every word was emphasised by gnashing of teeth.
"I-I will remember not to call you by your family name while I'm in your bathroom or in your bedroom." Realising his mistake of making incorrect assumptions, he tried to backtrack, "Not that, I mean-"
"-Save it." Haruno cut him off, rudely. "I know what you mean. You don't want to assume anything and it is perfectly fine. I don't want to assume anything as well. I-" Haruno faltered. "I just don't want to hear that name everywhere. I hear it way too much when I am outside, facing the big, bad world and meeting fake, phony people." Haruno took a deep breath. "Even at home, I have to pretend sometimes- Taking calls, sending e-mails, handling files for my father, helping my mother to evaluate suitable suitors for my sister and myself, finding what my sister is doing and then inform my parents to stop them from interfering in our lives; I just wanted to take a break! A break from everything for a small amount of time." Haruno was visibly distressed, "I mean you can't imagine what I have to go through every single day of my life! I have to fulfil my duties to my family, I have to attend my classes in college and excel in my studies, I have to hang out with my friends and their friends; basically I have to always be involved in something, doing something, planning something! God! I hate it. I hate every second of it. And I still have to do it because I am a freaking 'Yukinoshita'!" She spat out venomously, "Perfection personified; the good daughter, the worrying elder sister, the ideal student, the best friend of everyone!" Calming her down was proving to be difficult. He didn't know what to do, except for listening her out. "I hate being a 'Yukinoshita' and I don't like to be called one when I am taking a break from my bothersome life. Do you understand now, Hachiman?"
Actually he didn't, but he couldn't really put it that bluntly when she was so worked up. "I do understand what you are saying. Um, but you see, there is one thing that keeps troubling me." Haruno was also well professed in martial arts and if it was like everything else, she was probably better at it then her younger sister. "Um, I think I already called you by your family name a couple of times already." Suddenly, that bottle of red wine was looking like a deadly weapon. "I was wondering whether I should apologize for my past transgressions. You didn't react as-" Wrong thing to say! Definitely wrong. Look at her eyes. "I mean, you didn't-"
"-Actually I did, Hachiman." On first name basis again. Good. Very good, "If you remember correctly, on both occasions when you called me by my family name in this bathroom, I reacted…similarly to how I am reacting now." A look of awkwardness crossed between them. "On one time, I actually yelled. I think. 'What. The. Hell' were my exact words or some reiteration of it and then the other time, I ordered you to leave, which you refused." A small smile graced her lips; smiles are always better, "On one occasion you were mocking me and on the other you were giving me an ultimatum." Her smile broadened, "I think, I don't have to tell you, how stupid you were."
"…I was testing my courage." He said, stoically.
"And how did you fair, Hachiman?" She asked, curious.
"I'm still here, aren't I?"
A snippy retort at best.
"…"
A moment of silence, observed.
'Was it better or worse?' Both these characters' thoughts, unfurled.
/
A/N: Busy working on "Labcoats" and "Clichés"! They will be updated next!
Okay, so, Haruno is behaving a little out of character and 8man doesn't know how to deal with it. The next chapter is gonna be less talk and more…well, you know; the thing I am teasing but not writing because I want it to be perfect. It will happen soon though, don't worry. As always:
Here are the options for the next chapter:
Option one: Haruno tries to reason with Hachiman. (Feelings, love, sex etc.)
Option two: Hachiman acts dumb (Pays for being stupid.)
Please, pick one
Hope everyone enjoyed this chapter.
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Won't betray your dreams.
