Chapter 44
Alexis groaned as she came round, her vision blurry with tears.
She was lying on her front. She was shivering. Her body catalogued these facts one by one, slowly piecing together her situation. Slowly she brought her arms round, shakily pressing herself up off the ground. Her hands slipped on mud.
It was pitch dark. Wind and rain lashed at her skin. She blindly reached around, grasping clammy flesh. Her naked, human body convulsed. She struggled onto her knees, wracked by nausea.
'This isn't real,' she whispered. The only answer received was the rain – it felt more than real, the droplets battering her on every side, dripping into her eyes. Shakily she sat back, her legs bent beneath her, squinting through the dark, trying to see. She was freezing cold, her teeth beginning to hammer together in her head. 'Hello? Hello? Stars-s-scream? W-where are you?'
Her voice was lost in the howling wind. As weak as a foal, she tried to clamber to her feet, her skin slick with mud and wet grass. Pain shot through her head and chest. For a brief, horrible moment, she wondered if she was dying. Hauling herself upright in the rain, she gritted her teeth… then jumped with a thrill of horror as a large hand fell upon her shoulder. 'SHIT!'
A blanket was placed around her shoulders. Heart pounding, she turned her head, squinting to see whoever it was, but her eyes simply wouldn't adjust.
'You're not Starscream.'
The stranger didn't reply. Instead she was being guided forward – the grip was gentle, but the strength in there was undeniable.
'Where is he?'
No answer. She was being steered over the wet ground.
'H… have I died?'
Her voice was shaking and high. She spoke again. The more she tried to sound imperious and fearless, the more her voice seemed to tremble. 'I've died before you know. Well, I've left my body. Do your worst.'
'Watch out for your feet.' The deep, calm voice rumbled in her ear, and she jumped again. 'W…what?'
'Your feet. The stones are sharp here. Remember? You ran out when you were seven to catch a glimpse of a Lancaster fly-over. Your father had to pick out the stones and dress your feet. He scolded you for your silliness.'
She looked up, blinking the rain out of her eyelashes. The farmhouse swam into focus. 'We're back here?'
'Yes.'
'Shit! For fuck's sake!'
Alexis stopped, whimpering as the sharp stones met her bare, freezing toes. 'I was falling down… I was going to be invincible! Oh... GOD… Listen to what a fucking retard I sound!'
The figure, in one swift movement, scooped her up into his arms. To her horror, she started to cry, biting her lip, then her tongue, to try to stem the tide… but it was no use. 'What happened… how could I have thought those things… I wanted it!'
'Anyone would have wanted it.' The voice was soothing, but Alexis caught the edge of gentle amusement in his tone.
'I would have consumed this place… part of me still wants to… I want to go home… is this home? Proper home? PLEASE!'
The figure reached the door to the house, shouldering it open. She was lowered to the floor, blinking again as she took in the familiar kitchen, clutching the blanket tighter around her. She was suddenly very conscious of her nakedness beneath it, blushing.
The door clicked shut behind her and she turned.
The one-eyed man stood before her.
Back in the barn he had been ruined, practically skeletal, scarred and sickly, his face twisted in pain, despair and bitterness. But the man who stood before her was strong and broad, his muscular form clothed in sturdy workman's clothes, like the illustrations of ruddy farmers she had seen in children's books as a child. When she tried to study his face, she couldn't focus on his features, no matter how hard she tried – she just got a vague impression of a strong, calm face, one eyelid closed over an empty socket.
'Sit down,' he said. It wasn't a request.
She slid into a chair at the table, and he sat down opposite her. Even seated he seemed to loom, his body taking up too much space. She found herself speechless, bringing up a hand to wipe away fresh tears. He leaned forward, leaning his hand on his chin, studying her, and it was all she could do not to squirm awkwardly.
'Go on then,' he said.
Her tongue was stuck to the roof of her mouth and she swallowed. 'What?'
'Ask me your questions.'
She sat forward, her nervous fingers tweaking the blanket, pulling at the loose, scratchy threads. 'Where's Starscream?'
He thought for a moment, casting his gaze upwards. 'Your companion. Hm. Somewhere. I've located him.'
'Is he safe?'
'Define safe,' he replied calmly, without missing a beat. She swallowed again.
'Uh… is he alive?'
'I suppose so. He's not really the focus of my attention at the moment.'
She found herself unable to meet his stare, looking away. 'Are we in the Library?'
He frowned. 'Re-phrase your question.'
'Skyfire said there were archives… sort of... fake worlds made up of memories and information. Are we there?'
His mouth twitched in a smile. 'Ah. I see. Yes, you are. I've put you in here, for now. It's best you are kept out of the way. A lot of changes are going on out there.' He stretched in his seat like a large, wild animal, rotating his neck, rain water cascading off his rugged coat. 'That's why it's raining so hard. All that tumult raging on the surface… it manifests itself, even in here.'
'Are you in here with me?'
He leaned forward, and she leaned back. 'I'm looking in at you.'
She felt as though she were shrinking in front of him. 'Are you… Unicron?' she whispered.
He watched her for a moment. 'Is that what you think?'
She looked away, blinking back fresh tears. 'I think I want to go home,' she whispered. 'Please… whoever you are… I didn't… I wanted…'
He sat back. 'You're afraid of me.'
Alexis hunched her shoulders, her chin on her chest, her wet hair falling over her face. 'More afraid than I've ever been.'
'Were you afraid of me in the refinery? The night we met?'
She nodded.
'And yet you helped me. Again and again. You spoke up for me. You fed me energon. You kept my spark and transferred it to a suitable vessel.'
'The Blaster?'
The one-eyed man nodded. 'What reason did you have? As a…' he frowned slightly. '… A human?'
She shrugged. 'I don't know.'
He frowned again, leaning forward. 'What do you mean: "you don't know"?'
'I don't know!' She raised her hands, shrinking back. 'I do stupid things!'
He regarded her for some time, a smile slowly creeping across his mouth. 'How strange,' he said softly. 'To find myself here, conversing with one like you. To think you aided and brought me here. What a lesson for me to learn. Imagine that – there is still space to learn. I didn't think there was anything left in the universe for me to learn, but here we are.'
He stood up. 'Well, I have so much to think upon. Even now, my strength grows and returns. What a lot there is to do, to process, to… I don't know if there is suitable dialogue to describe it for you, small one. I think all that remains is to say…'
He leant down, his huge, scarred hands engulfing hers. 'Thank you. Thank you, little human. For bringing me here, for restoring me.'
'Who are you?' she looked up, and he smiled, bringing down a thumb, brushing her tears away.
'Are you a transformer?'
He smiled, straightening up. 'No.'
She stared, sitting up straighter. 'But I thought…'
'I am The Transformer.'
She stared into his face, seeing him clearly for an instant. She wanted to laugh, cry, curl into a ball. She shuddered, taking a deep, slow breath.
Very slowly she rose from her seat. 'And Unicron?'
'Unicron is gone.'
'Dead?'
He moved towards the door. 'I said gone, not dead. What do you need to know except that you brought me here, hidden from his gaze? Now it's my turn.'
He opened the door, the rain, now more ferocious than ever, slanting into the bright kitchen. 'One day it will be his turn once more, but not now. I'm grateful to you.'
'But… I wanted to join him!'
He turned. 'And so what? You think that makes you like him?'
She looked at the floor. 'Yes… It disturbed me…'
'Then you're not like him. You think you're the first? Don't fall into the trap of arrogance and believe for a moment that one like YOU could resist him.'
He was looking out into the rain, and she sensed he had spent enough of his time speaking with her. She found herself feeling like a germ under a microscope after the scientist has withdrawn his gaze…
'Please! Before you go… Am I stuck here?'
He glanced back. 'For now. Stay here until you find yourself able to leave. When that moment comes, open the door and step out. You will be safely returned to your craft.'
'What about Starscream?'
He waved a hand. 'He'll be brought to you.'
'There's more. Arcee. Thundercracker. Skyfire. Dart. You need to take care of them too. Promise me.'
'It's done.'
Emboldened, she stepped closer. 'And the ship. The Portent. It's up there, in your atmosphere. Let us leave in peace.'
He stepped outside. 'What a wonderful challenge it is, conversing with something as small as you. Let me find an appropriate metaphor.' He raised an eyebrow, leaning down. 'You are like a… grain of sand requesting to remain a grain of sand, albeit slightly more polished. Has it occurred to you that I have showered you with more gifts than you will ever comprehend?'
'The others safe... that's all I want,' she insisted, spreading her hands.
He gave one last smile. 'It's a beggar's pittance. You will find there will be more in store for you, Alexis. In time I will forget you, despite all you have done for me. So let me leave you with gifts you may not ask for, may not even want. But you will need them. And to want and to need are two different things.'
She stepped forward, dragging the blanket with her. 'If I really did what you said I did... then I'm going to ask for one thing more.'
'Just the one?'
She leaned forward, and standing on tiptoe, whispered into his ear.
Starscream staggered through the freezing, soaking night, his naked human form shaking and convulsing in discomfort. He hammered at the farmhouse door. 'ALEXIS! ALEXIS!'
The door opened and he fell in, swiping the water from his bare arms in disgust. 'Is it just you and me?' His voice was imperious as his gaze swept the small bright room. A fire burnt in the grate, washing his bare limbs in warmth. On the table, two generous tumblers of whisky sat, next to a packet of cigarettes.
'Just you and me.'
He heard her voice, and allowed his shoulders to sag slightly. 'We are back where we started, Alexis,' he muttered. 'How can we endure this? I would rather be offline than face this terrible…'
Her fingers came to his lips, shushing him, and he looked down, seeing her properly for the first time. Her eyes were alight, a smile playing on her lips. 'Be quiet. And don't worry.'
The blanket fell from her shoulders onto the floor.
He shook his head slightly. 'But… we were falling…'
'And we landed. Just shut up. Can we talk later?'
She was walking him slowly backwards, towards the warmth of the living room, where another blazing fire waited.
'I don't understand…'
'I know. And I love it. I get to teach you, now. Just here, just tonight. You're not in control. And neither am I, but I get to be just a tiny bit more in control than you…'
Her mouth found his. Their lips met, and pressed. They felt the warmth of each other, as her hand came up to his jaw.
'I don't know how long we have,' she murmured. 'Perhaps just one night.'
She looked into his eyes. 'Lord Starscream.'
He looked back down at her. 'Yes?'
'Are you ready to learn?'
