My goodness, is it just my imagination or have I been weirdly efficient with updates? Where is this shit coming from?

Speaking of shit, I hope this chapter isn't as full of it as I feel it is. Meh, read and find out.


It was cold. Freezing. At least so his shivering body seemed to believe.

Naruto sat in the car, hands tightly clasping the steering wheel. The way he had for ten long minutes by then. He could've, and should've, stepped out a long while ago. But every time he reached towards the handle, dread washed over his already rigid body, paralyzing it beyond functionality. The safety of the car wasn't something he wanted to abandon. The expensive box of metal isolated him from what he could only call the embodiment of all his worst nightmares put together. And through the windshield left wet and streaky from the rain, he could see all the things he wasn't ready to face.

The gray skies, the gloomy and repellent crematorium. The people dressed in black, most of whom he'd never even met. All those things stirred crippling anxiety within him. But nothing made him as nauseous as the sleek, black hearse parked on the side of the road. The mere sight of it compelled him to succumb to sorrow's will and break down.

Watching it all from across the street, Naruto knew nobody was aware of his presence yet. Spotting Itachi standing by the hearse and glancing around nervously, he knew postponing the inevitable any further would've been not only disrespectful, but unfair. Already a few minutes late and well aware of it, he took a deep breath, released it slowly and finally went to open the door. His legs felt weak and unreliable beneath his own weight, but that was something he couldn't allow unnecessary power to. However shaky and weak his steps might've been, they slowly but surely took him across the road and towards the most miserable moment of his entire life.

The moment he'd carry his best friend for the last time and watch him burn yet again.

His heavy steps halted in front of the hearse. He felt the watchful gaze laid upon him, but didn't turn to look. Nor was he expected to. Moments later, a gentle hand came to rest on his shoulder. The touch didn't bother him, as he barely noticed it. Finding himself afloat in a strange bubble of denial and detachment, nothing felt worth noticing. Only barely did he hear the words spoken to him.

"It's a sad day. But we have to get through it, for his sake."

Itachi's voice, it sounded weak and hoarse. As if it'd been worn dry by salty tears and sleepless nights.

"I know", Naruto spoke quietly. "We will."

Only briefly did he shut is eyes to stop the sting behind them from escalating into a genuine reaction. Upon opening them again, he quickly glanced around. There weren't that many people present, fewer than he'd feared. Roughly fifteen. Only a handful of them did he recognize, and none of them would he have been able to name. Many must've been Sasuke's co-workers, a few perhaps old friends from school. Really the only one he knew was Itachi. And in fact preferred it that way. Less close acquaintances meant less pretentious condolences.

It definitely was the saddest he'd felt in his entire life, the moment Itachi pulled open the backdoor of the hearse, revealing the casket. Dark wood, silver handles. That was all Naruto could make sense of, before his gaze dropped to the ground. Yet again forced to shut his eyes, he felt his throat tighten and chest begin to ache. In an instant, his already tense body grew completely rigid. A light tremble was quick to begin crawling up his spine, as he felt his aching chest start to pound with the most brutal pain he'd ever experienced. It took every last shred of self-discipline for him to remain in a dignified state.

The casket, it felt so much heavier than it should've. Maybe it was because of what lay inside, maybe because of how weak his body had turned at the sight of it. Regardless of the reason, even with the aid of five grown men, it still remained the heaviest weight he'd ever carried. Thus began the slow walk towards the repellent crematorium, and as if the skies had known to mourn, the falling rain grew into heavy downpour. None of those present minded, as it easily veiled any tears that might've escaped.

Naruto couldn't say the place was terrible inside. But neither did it feel welcoming. Having known fairly well what Sasuke would've wanted for his own funeral, he and Itachi had done their best to keep it as simple, traditional and convenient as possible. No wake had been held and no separate location for the funeral had seemed necessary. Thus they'd agreed to hold the ceremony at the crematorium, where they would've lastly ended up anyway. The priest had arrived already and stood waiting next to the cremator. Despite the otherwise formal and appropriate look of the place, Naruto couldn't help but feel sick at the sight of the tray that would shortly slide the casket into the cremation chamber. Only barely could he force himself to lay the casket down on said tray, instead of loudly refusing to let his friend burn into a pile of ashes.

Everything that happened in the following twenty minutes, he barely even registered. He stood there among all other guests, respectfully silent and pretending to listen to the priest's mantra. But in reality, he didn't hear a word of it. He wasn't really there at all, in that room and among those people. Where he was, was a place and time where Sasuke was still alive. In a place and time well over fifteen years ago. He hadn't thought about it in a long time, but remembered it like yesterday. The day they'd ran away from the orphanage.

They hadn't planned it. Had never before even thought about it. Not seriously, anyway. Nothing special had happened to trigger such an idea, really. It'd been but a fleeting thought, the result of a boring Sunday evening and childish misery over early bedtime. Naruto had been the one to suggest it, even under the fear of being slapped by the much more mature Sasuke. Yet amazingly, he'd agreed in a heartbeat. Naruto had been surprised enough to ask why he'd agreed, and Sasuke had given an answer he'd never forget, never in his lifetime.

"Where you go, I go. Anywhere in the world. Around it, if you want to."

They never did travel around the world, never even left their hometown, but knowing that they could've was what gave them the courage to leave. And it was the best decision he'd ever made. There was so much he got to see, so much he got experience. Much he wouldn't have, had they stayed and gone through the system all the way to an average life. He'd collected years' worth of irreplaceable memories with his best friend, moments incomparable to anything else. And nothing, absolutely nothing, would ever replace the life he'd shared with Sasuke. Nothing would ever replace Sasuke himself.

Naruto broke out of his thoughts to glance around. The people there, they weren't individuals to him. He didn't know them, didn't know what Sasuke had meant to them. But looking at those nameless faces, none of them seemed to have been very close to him. Though everyone looked sad and down, some even going as far as shedding the occasional tear, they all still came across as detached and only appropriately miserable. All, but one.

There was a man, most likely around his age, whom he'd never seen before. He stood some distance away, on the other side of the casket. It would've been easy for him to blend in with the rest of them, hadn't the look in his eyes differed so greatly from all the others'. Looking past the very unusual color of them, something truly dark and sad could be seen. Genuine grief and pain, coated with weary distress. The man's gaze was firmly locked on the casket, most likely had been for a long while. Everything about him screamed misery. The way he stood, the way his head hung low, the way he obviously was holding back tears. And that was how Naruto knew, this man wasn't there just because he was expected to be.

A curious, yet confused frown appeared between the blonde's brows. He didn't even notice himself staring at the man, taking in his appearance. Wondering about the extraordinarily light hair, the unusual color of his eyes. Probably classed as blue, but definitely leaning towards a purple hue. He wasn't very tall, but neither was he short. Maybe half a head shorter than Naruto. He was of lean build, but by no means petite. And the way he stood with his back naturally straight as an arrow neared militant posture. Why Naruto was so intrigued by this man, he couldn't say.

Suddenly, the man turned to meet his stare. As if he'd sensed someone watching. The instant their gazes locked, both men flinched. Naruto flinched, as he felt embarrassed for having stared so rudely. But why the other one flinched as well struck as strange. For the short, nearly insignificant moment their eye contact continued, confusion filled the air between them. And even after the stranger finally looked away, Naruto couldn't shake the odd feeling the moment had stirred. Somehow, he felt as if the man had recognized him. How that was possible, he didn't understand.

Right after Naruto finally tore his gaze away, the priest finished the last of his mantra. Then followed the traditional giving of a new name for the deceased, to prevent their return from the afterlife if called by their name given at birth. Considering the amount of money temples charged for these names, Naruto found the practice ridiculous. As had Sasuke, his entire life. Yet judging by the length of it, Itachi hadn't held back with the cost. He supposed the man hadn't been able to let his brother's last day above earth be as cheap and chaste as Sasuke might've wanted. That was fine. It was understandable.

As time for goodbyes finally came, Naruto purposely waited till the end. He let everybody else go first, watched all these strangers pay their last respects and lay flowers on the casket, all the while holding back the scoff the pretentiousness of it would've deserved. A few minutes went by, people did what was expected of them. And lastly, right before Naruto's turn, stepped forward the man he'd shared the strange exchange of looks with. Again intrigued, he watched the man stand beside the casket. Gaze laid upon the heavy lid, hands down his pockets and lips pursed tightly together. For a long while, he did and said nothing. Only watched calmly, silently. It was then Naruto realized, the man had no last gift prepared. Not like everybody else before him had. The blonde's lips slowly parted in sudden realization.

This man had known Sasuke well enough to understand that he wouldn't have wanted any flowers or other vanity. But how could that be, when only Naruto had known him well enough not to bring anything?

The stranger's silent stillness finally came to an end, as he gently placed a hand on top of the closed casket. His lips, they parted to let out words too quiet to be heard by anyone else. As he spoke, his so far tense shoulders began to shake. Subtly, but Naruto noticed it nonetheless. And though he couldn't hear the man, the blonde could tell he never finished what he'd intended to say. Interrupted by a tear rolling down his face, one that seemed to surprise him, the man suddenly broke down. He wasn't loud, wasn't a mess, but cried genuine tears. The blonde felt an instant rush of sympathy run through him.

Seeing that the man felt uncomfortable and embarrassed for not having kept himself together, Naruto made his way over and stopped to stand beside him. He laid his hand on the other's shoulder, causing him to flinch. As the man then raised his head to face the blonde, he looked very surprised. Surprised, yet gradually more grateful than anything else. He stayed there for a moment longer, before nodding silently and stepping aside to allow Naruto his chance at goodbyes.

Pushing away his wonderment of this strange man, the blonde turned to face the casket. For a long time, he didn't know what to do or say. Even when he did open his mouth to speak, the words got caught in his throat. His chest felt tight, lungs filled with pins and needles. Keeping a straight face became an honest struggle. He realized, there was no easy way of doing this. No easy way to bid farewell, no honor or privilege greater than the chance to do it in the first place. For another short moment, he remained still and silent, until finally forcing out the only quiet goodbye he could muster.

"Thank you. I love you."

The last of his whisper flowed out strangled and broken. Before he could catch himself, a lonely tear had already escaped. It rolled down his cheek, down to his jaw and fell onto the casket. A sad smile lifting the corners of his lips, he let it stay where it'd landed. Knowing he'd stood there and made people wait for quite a while, Naruto forced himself to step back and took his previous position. Everything that followed— the last words from the priest, the sliding of the casket into the cremation chamber— it all drifted by as a hazy fog. And as Naruto stood there alone in the middle of that haziness, all he could think about was how badly he wished Gaara had been there with him.

It would take two hours for the cremation to be complete. The one and a half so far Naruto had spent secluded from everybody else, literally counting seconds. Knowing that his mind and mouth weren't to be trusted, he'd even avoided Itachi. Of course, that didn't last till the end. Roughly fifteen minutes before the given time estimate, the older Uchiha finally found Naruto in the deserted and quiet hallway he'd been hiding at. Hearing the man's footsteps echo through the corridor, the blonde fought not to sigh.

"Here you are", Itachi's voice spoke. "I've been looking all over."

His fight was useless. The sigh happened, whether he liked it or not.

"Sorry", he mumbled. "I just...needed some time alone."

"Nobody's blaming you", the other man assured upon reaching him.

Naruto grunted. "Hn. I guess."

The look on Itachi's face had a worried tone to it, but soon enough was replaced by a kind smile.

"You did good, Naruto."

The blonde flinched, surprised. He turned to meet the other's friendly eyes, wondering if the man knew how much hearing that truly meant to him. Regardless of whether or not he did, Naruto returned the smile the best he could. But said nothing. Not that he was expected to, either. After a while, Itachi let his proud smile lessen to a more neutral one.

"Listen...I was thinking", the man began, before pausing. Naruto frowned, supposing he was meant to encourage the man to continue.

"Yeah?" he asked. Itachi sighed, as if hesitant.

"You're free to decline, if you're not interested", he told upfront. "But I thought you might want to handle the burial alone. If you do, I'll allow that."

Naruto's eyes filled with mild surprise. He paused to think about it in silence. It was a generous offer, considering all the people there. Accepting it might've been somewhat rude and selfish. But since it seemed that Itachi still could read him like an open book, it would've been wasteful to decline the offer. The man was right, he would've preferred to have one last moment alone with Sasuke. Knowing he would be granted that, a weak smile spread across his lips.

"I'd like that."

The other one flashed a smile in return.

"I thought you might", Itachi admitted. "Don't worry about the others. I'll let everyone know."

Naruto released a sigh of relief. "You're a fuckin' angel. Thanks."

"No problem, kid", the older one assured, already turning to walk away. "Come back once you're ready. Take your time."

Not bothering to reply, Naruto merely waved his hand in return. For a few minutes longer, he stayed there by himself. Just for the while it took for him to gather his strength anew, take a deep breath and face the pain of collecting his friend's remains. When he finally re-entered the room he'd abandoned, only few people remained anymore. He supposed Itachi had already gotten the word around and sent the guests home. He briefly searched for the strangers from before, but failed to find them. Though he'd hoped to exchange a word or two, he didn't stop to dwell on it and instead carried on with what was still left to be done.

Together with Itachi, he brought to completion the last of traditions still left. The collecting of bones into the urn that he would then take to the burial site. With care and caution they handled what was left from the cremation, moved the remains into the urn and finally sealed it tightly shut. It was strange, to be handed the urn. Holding it, watching it, Naruto was distantly aware that his friend lay in his hands. That he was holding him, all of him. It didn't feel like he was. And maybe that was the moment when he finally came to accept that Sasuke was gone. This being the closest he'd ever get to him anymore and it feeling like thin air in a vase, it would've been difficult to think otherwise.

With everybody else gone, only the two of them were left at the door when the time to leave finally came. There they stood, facing one another, but neither of them saying a word. It was difficult to find words fit for a time as sad and strange. Naruto knew he wouldn't be the one to break the silence, and thus Itachi was left to find a way to do it. It took its while, but eventually the man sighed.

"We did it. It's over now."

Naruto nodded, though barely.

"Yeah. Somehow we did."

Another silence gathered around them. It truly was the most speechless either of them had ever been. Yet somehow, it wasn't uncomfortable. Just understandable. As a sudden thought crossed the blonde's mind, he finally brought the quiet to an end.

"I nearly forgot to ask", he told. "Who was the guy with white hair?"

Itachi frowned, pausing to think back. After a while, his thoughtful gaze briefly cleared up, only to then turn deeply confused.

"I don't know", he unexpectedly said. "I thought you invited him."

Naruto became visibly taken aback, before shaking his head slowly and unsure. The confusion on his face matched the other's, as reality seemed to dawn on both of them simultaneously. Nobody had invited the man. Nobody knew who he was.

"How...strange", Itachi eventually commented. The blonde deemed it an understatement, but could hardly disagree.

"I wonder who he was", he thought aloud, mostly to himself.

"No idea", Itachi muttered. "He seemed quite sad, though."

He certainly had, that Naruto couldn't deny. They could've stayed there for the rest of the day to wonder about this mysterious man, but really no benefit would've come from it. So instead of wasting further time, the blonde changed the subject to something more relevant.

"I probably should get going. It's gonna get dark in a while", he sighed. The other one nodded and smiled.

"Of course. I won't keep you any longer", Itachi told. "I'll trust you to lay my brother to rest now. But I'll make sure to visit you in the near future. Both of you."

The blonde chuckled. "So, in about fifteen years, give or take?"

Itachi's gaze grew firmer. "Sooner. I promise."

He seemed serious, so Naruto decided to believe him. Not that he would've blamed the man even if they were never to meet again. After all, life was what it was. Just a string of fleeting moments after another, gone faster than really seemed fair. But then again, that was another indisputable truth of life. The unfairness of it. Which largely explained why he stood there carrying the ashes of his best friend. Life wasn't fair, and never failed to remind him of it.

Little less than an hour later, Naruto found himself at the grave site and in front of the exact spot chosen for Sasuke. The sun hadn't gone all the way down yet, but definitely was beginning to tip below the horizon. It'd stopped raining and the clouds had begun to shift, allowing the slowly lessening light to cast its rays across the graveyard. The ground remained wet, making it unfit to be seated on. But Naruto wasn't one to care. He kneeled down on the ground, directly in front of the stone monument, despite the water seeping through his clothes.

He glanced down at the urn still in his hands. Paranoid about dropping it, he gently laid it on top of the small crypt meant for it. He wasn't ready to place it inside. Not yet.

It was strange. To just sit there in silence and stare at what was left of his friend. He felt sad, but at the same time relieved. He was sad that Sasuke was gone and able to fit in a jar the size of his head. Yet relieved, because he knew that he wasn't actually inside that jar. He was somewhere else. Somewhere better, hopefully. Naruto wasn't one to know where, and thus wouldn't claim he did. But he wanted to believe that wherever his friend might've gone, he would one day follow and see him again. Naive or not, he refused to believe otherwise.

"I'm sorry, Sasuke."

Naruto didn't realize he'd decided to speak, before it'd already happened. Though surprised for a short while, he supposed he might as well finish what he'd started. Taking in a deep breath, he gathered all the thoughts he'd had for the past few weeks, and began to share them. With whom, probably didn't even matter.

"I'm sorry I couldn't save you", he spoke quietly. "You're dead now. And I still feel like it's my fault."

How odd it was, the instant sting behind his eyes.

"I...I know you'd beat me up for sayin' that. But I don't care. I don't care, because I miss you, and I love you, and I hate that you're dead."

It was pathetic. Not the tear that escaped, but the futile fight he put up against it.

"You were more than my best friend. You are more than that. You're my brother. But most of all, you're a fuckin' prick for dying."

He stopped fighting it. Stopped fighting the tears, the tremble in his voice, the crippling sorrow. Who cared how he should've handled his loss? It was his, and he was free to ugly cry all he wanted. His quiet whispers grew into something much louder and more emotional.

"You had no right", he claimed. "No right to leave me alone. How could you fuckin' do that to me?!"

Whoever might've been there to witness his outburst wasn't given two shits about. He didn't care if he was seen and heard. What he cared about was the pain he'd bottled up for weeks, now erupting in less than dignified ways. He was angry. Angry that death had taken Sasuke from him. Angry that he hadn't been able to save him. Furious, that he would never get him back. And absolutely enraged for being just a little more alone in the world.

"It ain't fair", his broken voice accused. "I can't do this alone. I can't do this without you."

It was a confession he'd so far refused to utter. To anyone, even himself. Not only was he angry, but he was afraid. Without Sasuke, the world seemed like a much bigger place. Bigger, emptier. Darker and more dangerous. And no matter how many dangers he'd faced, how many men he'd fought and killed, Naruto would never stop fearing what life was in its purest and barest form. The world was a cruel place, even at its best. And at its worst, he dreaded he hadn't even witnessed it yet.

"What am I supposed to do now, huh?" he questioned, less angry and more desperate. "The fuck can I do? I feel fuckin' useless."

He did. Maybe it was just an inevitable aftermath of Sasuke's passing, but knowing what kind of sacrifice the man had made, he felt absolutely selfish and useless. Martyrdom of that kind wasn't something he ever could've rendered.

"Please, come back", he pleaded. "I miss you, Sasuke."

He knew he pleaded in vain. Yet he wanted to say it, just once. Of course it didn't, nor ever would change a thing, but the effort itself meant something to him. And maybe it was allowing himself to pitifully plead there on his knees which finally brought him a vague sense of peace. And if not peace, at the very least silence. He'd ran out of words to say. For some time to come, he stayed there in the quiet, watching the urn and letting his tears dry. By the time he finally forced himself on his feet, the sun was nearly down. The last rays it still cast painted the sky a fiery shade of red. And underneath that burning sky, Naruto finally laid his friend to the final rest.

The blonde stayed even after he'd placed the urn inside the crypt. He stood there silently, watching and remembering. Watching the still stone monument before him, and vividly remembering the life he and Sasuke had shared. It saddened him to know that never again would he see him smile, hear him laugh or witness him in any physical form whatsoever. And though he wasn't okay with that just yet, he wanted to believe he one day would be. If not for his own, for Sasuke's sake.

Naruto raised his downcast gaze towards the setting sun. It was beautiful, that he could not deny. Not a winter sun anymore, but instead a promise of approaching spring. Only the slightest sliver of its round edge remained visible above the horizon, yet the intense shades of red and orange only grew stronger. The sight somehow reminded him of the sunset from several months ago. The one he'd shared with Gaara. The one that'd also signified something sad and unfair. And it made him wonder, why was it that beautiful sunsets and tragic turns in life seemed to go so well together? A matter of balance, perhaps. Like most everything was.

From the corner of his eye, Naruto caught movement. As well as a flash of red hair. He wanted to feel surprised, but couldn't bother. Didn't even turn to look. Just waited for the uninvited, but not necessarily unwanted visitor to appear beside him. A while of silence went by, the two of them standing there and gazing at the colorful sky. Finally, the blonde felt a hand take a hold of his.

"Didn't I tell you not to come?" he asked. Not harshly, but mildly disenchanted.

"You did", Gaara admitted, tightening his hold. "I decided not to give a fuck."

The blonde couldn't help but chuckle. "You never do, do you."

Wasn't much of a question, really. A statement, more than anything. The redhead didn't seem bothered by it, as it was a difficult one to prove untrue. But then again, even the most truest of truths had their flaws.

"There's a few exceptions", he said and shrugged. The blonde huffed, as if offended.

"A few?"

"One."

It would've been unfair of Naruto not to smile. Thus he did. And it felt right. The smile faded as his lungs filled with a deep breath of fresh air. Keeping quiet was too easy not to do, so that was what they settled on. It wasn't uncomfortable or even sad anymore. Bittersweet, maybe. And though Naruto refused to admit it, he was glad Gaara came after all. As proud as he was of himself for having made it through the funeral all by himself, he was relieved to have the man beside him. Not just because it made him feel less alone. But because in just a few hours apart, he'd already managed to start missing him.

"I'm not sorry", Gaara suddenly spoke. "I'm not sorry for what I did."

Naruto said nothing, but let his gaze grow dark as he waited for the man to continue. And he did, eventually.

"I am sorry that he's gone. I'm sorry that you're hurting. But I will never be sorry that I saved you."

Hearing him say those things made the blonde feel uncomfortable. Not because he condemned this unusually honest confession, but because he wished it wouldn't have been necessary. For that, he had only himself to blame.

"I would do it a million times over, if I had to. I will always choose you."

The words, they sounded so genuine, so certain of their message. Naruto couldn't have felt angry even if he'd tried. Not that he wanted to.

"I know", he spoke quietly. "I don't deserve it. I don't deserve yo-"

"Shut your face."

He did. Fell silent, stayed silent. After a while, he finally turned to glance at the other one. The man had gone through the effort of putting on a suit. Knowing how much he must've hated it, Naruto had to give him a little credit. Even if it did annoy him as much as it made him weak at the legs. The blonde couldn't help but smirk.

"You put that thing on just to fuck with me, didn't you?"

"No", Gaara argued, then paused. "Maybe."

Naruto chuckled. "You look good."

"I know."

Not a modest man, by any means. But then again, that was part of his charm. Being big enough of a dick to actually pull it off. And to think that Naruto had fallen for a trap so obvious. That definitely made him feel like a moron at times. But for the most part, lucky. And why wouldn't it? Admittedly, Gaara wasn't exactly the poster boy for social norms and political correctness. Didn't really know what the hell he was doing when it came to human interaction, wasn't good with emotions and sucked at anger management. Not to mention, he was genuinely dangerous. Yet despite all his flaws, or perhaps because of them, he somehow outshone every other human the blonde had encountered. Perhaps because he fell just a little short of really fitting the idea of one. Reasons aside, to Naruto that man was inhumane in the best of ways.

Gaara turned to meet the curious gaze on him. As always, he became somewhat stunned by what met him. The blue eyes, blonde hair and that face of a fucking angel. By all logic, none of it should've been something to call his own. Yet somehow, all of it was. And though it was likely that being destined to act as a vessel for evil was a form of payment for that privilege, he still considered it a small price for what he'd been given in return. For nothing in the world could be as vile and rotten as the blonde's smile was absolutely perfect. Of that he was certain enough not to care how irrational of a claim it was.

Gaara swallowed nervously. Why he felt nervous, he wasn't sure. Yet he was very certain that he had never felt as nervous in his entire life. The thing was, he hadn't come there purely out of spite. He'd come there to tell something. And truthfully, was absolutely terrified of how the blonde would react, as he had no way of knowing in advance. All he could do was hope that his dumbass brother wasn't as useless at everything as he tended to be.

For a moment longer, Gaara watched the blue eyes that'd slowly grown to question the silence. He made the conscious notion of how the last time he'd seen the blonde under a sunset as vibrant and unforgettable, he'd left him without knowing if they'd ever meet again. It definitely, without a doubt had been the hardest thing he'd ever had to do. And as he'd come to learn, perhaps the hardest thing the blonde had ever had to allow to happen. But this time, under this sunset and at this specifically chosen location, he might finally be able to make up for it.

And so, after having spent his entire life prepared to mutilate anyone who would've dared to suggest he'd do such a thing, he swallowed his pride and went down on one knee.

Naruto's jaw instantly dropped, long before he even realized what was going on. And when he finally did, all of him remained too dumbfounded for any sound to leave his open mouth. He could only stare at the kneeling man, whose gaze stayed on the ground for a while to come. When the pale green eyes finally turned to look up at him, he saw in them a look he'd never seen before. A look so nervous, so scared, yet so determined and certain at the same time. And it was captivating in a way incomparable to anything else. So much so, that Naruto nearly missed the redhead take out the one thing he'd told the man to never offer him again. The ring he'd declined.

Dread was quick to wash over his tense form. He came so close to stopping him. So close to telling him not to do this. And he would've, hadn't Gaara been so quick to wreck his entire reason to do so in the split of a second.

"I love you. Will you wear it?"

In an instant, whatever terror that'd momentarily held the blonde in its clasp, vanished. As if he'd never had a reason to feel any at all. And for a few skipped heartbeats, he forgot to breathe. His stare shifted between the redhead and the ring, until settling on the one watching him. Just by looking at him, Naruto could tell he was only barely stopping himself from shaking. He was absolutely petrified, nervous beyond belief. Intentional or not, the blonde couldn't help but smile.

"Didn't you promise you'd never do this?"

It was a sight worth seeing, Gaara too nervous to speak without trembling.

"I'm not askin' you to marry me, am I?"

The blonde chuckled. "Now that's just cheatin'."

He was being a dick, and knew it. But teasing the man was just too tempting not to be done. Perhaps it was a bit unfair, given the shaky breath of desperate frustration the redhead released.

"Don't torture me, angel. Will you wear the fuckin' thing or not?"

Naruto's gaze softened, as did his smirk. For a short while longer, he still gave hesitance and reluctance a chance to return. Neither one ever did, didn't as much as try. And he realized, he'd run out of reasons to decline. Seeing just how thin of a line between plain nervousness and absolute terror the redhead balanced on, he finally nodded.

"Yeah. I'll wear the fuckin' thing."

The redhead shut his eyes, a sigh of relief leaving his lips. Naruto was almost certain he'd never seen an invisible weight leave anyone's shoulders as clearly as he did then. With the weight finally off of him, Gaara pulled himself up from the ground and onto his feet. He wasn't granted a chance to do much more, as an unexpected hold on his shirt collar already pulled him forward and into a kiss he couldn't say he minded. He was fairly certain he'd deserved it.

It could've gone either way, really. And while he'd been equally as poorly prepared for both, this way certainly was preferred.

He'd spent the entire week wondering why he was the way he was. Why he'd felt fear only a handful of times in his life, yet cowered at mere idea of a real relationship. Why he had no problem taking human lives to keep the blonde safe, yet was too afraid to tell him the one word he wanted to hear. Such he'd spent seven days and nights thinking about, only to finally realize that there was in fact nothing stopping him from doing all those things. Nothing, but himself. So on the last night of that past week, he'd gone to bash the living shit out of every guy in his vicinity, just to prove to himself that if he was man enough to do that, he was man enough to admit he loved the blonde son of a bitch.

The moment Naruto had showed up at the cage that morning, had been the exact moment he'd decided he would do exactly what the blonde had told him not to do. And though it'd required roughly two and a half packs of cigarettes, extremely awkward discussing with his brother about extremely awkward subjects, and a borderline anxiety attack, he'd pulled his shit together and gone through with it. Without a doubt the most terrifying moment of his entire fucked up life.

There was a reason why he'd chosen the place he had. He'd promised Sasuke he'd be there to see it happen, even if it were in the next life. Since the man had passed on, no other place but his grave would've felt appropriate. While Gaara wasn't a man of sentiment, he was a man of his word. This way, he felt he'd kept his promise. He'd even prepared himself to do it in front of other people, if that was what it'd come to. But perhaps to everybody's luck, they'd been alone. The way they now would always be, with just the two of them left.

Naruto couldn't help but chuckle. He backed away just enough to meet the redhead's gaze, even if it did slightly displease the man.

"I've officially ruined you, y'know", the blonde claimed with a smirk on his lips.

"You have no idea", Gaara grunted, almost bitterly. "I actually called my brother for this. That's how low I've sunk."

Naruto raised an amused brow. "You did?"

"I don't fuckin' know how to do shit like this", the redhead said in his defense. The other one snorted, admittedly amused.

"You literally are the cutest piece of shit on the planet", he declared with certainty. Gaara was quick to narrow his gaze at the blonde.

"You're one to talk", he huffed. "You use my name as your password, dickhead."

Naruto's face fell, partly out of embarrassment, but mostly out of offense.

"You broke into my phone?" he asked disbelievingly. In return he received an arrogant smirk.

"Hn, I did. And what you gonna do 'bout it, huh?" the redhead sneered.

The blonde said nothing for a while, only stared with a mildly sour face. Eventually, he simply huffed in defeat and held out his hand, as if waiting for something.

"Give me the damn thing", he demanded, referring to the ring.

Gaara chuckled at the other's immature attitude, but did as told. The blonde took it from him, quickly glanced at it and then placed it where it belonged. Only after he'd put it on, did he realize he hadn't sopped to hesitate even for the briefest of moments. Which was reassuring, for both of them.

"Huh, look at that", Naruto mumbled, honestly surprised. "It actually fits."

"Hn. Of course it does", Gaara scoffed, just a tad too confidently to come across exactly credible. The blonde gave him an amused look.

"You totally winged it, didn't you?"

A breath the other man hadn't been aware of holding in escaped his lips in defeat.

"I totally did. I can't believe it fuckin' fits."

Naruto chuckled, but said nothing in return. Instead he stopped to stare at the thing on his finger, wondering how he felt about it. Surprisingly good, if entirely honest. The fact that his left hand was now worth around a million yen wasn't something he was about to complain about. He was just vain enough not to. The sound of the redhead's voice woke him back to reality, even if he realized it wasn't directed at him.

"See, dickface? I did it."

The blonde turned to look at the other man, only to witness him speaking to the grave beside them. It dawned on him that this arrogant sneer was directed to Sasuke, causing him to frown somewhat unimpressed.

"Seriously? You did this just to shove it in his dead face?" he asked, though only halfheartedly.

"No", Gaara replied. "But it's a plus."

The blonde let out a sound between a snort and a scoff. "Typical."

"So, you still gonna shoot me?" the redhead asked, tilting his head in a curious manner. Naruto dragged out his answer for a while, if only to be a bit of a prick.

"Nah, not today", he finally assured with a light chuckle.

"Nice."

The blonde merely smiled in return, and Gaara only barely caught it anymore. Darkness was finally beginning to settle in around them. The sky had turned from a bright red to a less offensive hue of purple. The air wasn't cold, but definitely leaning towards chilly now that the sun had gone down. Not that either of them really minded it. There was really no need for them to decide that it was time to go home, as it was obvious. But before they could make it any further than that silent intention, a voice that belonged to neither of them suddenly spoke in the near distance.

"Well, well...if that wasn't the most charming moment I've ever witnessed."

The two men flinched at the unfamiliar voice, both turning to look in the direction it'd traveled from. Gaara made an instinctive move towards his gun, but was stopped by a gentle touch on his arm. Somewhat displeased, he glanced at the blonde from the corner of his eye. Naruto's blue gaze was firmly set forward, towards the shadow standing next to a tall tree only a leap away. His tense posture had relaxed and turned more curious than anything else. Though suspicious, Gaara decided to trust the other's silent advice and let the gun be.

Naruto already knew. Though they hadn't yet stepped out of the shadows, though he couldn't make out their face, he already knew. It was him. The man from the funeral. It had to be. As the dark figure finally stepped forward, revealing a vaguely familiar sight of white hair and that distinctive set of peculiarly colored eyes, the last of his doubt disappeared. And with that, so did his healthy skepticism.

"You", he stated. "I know you."

The man smirked. "Hn. Do you?"

Something about it, about the tone of his voice, sounded off. As if balancing on the subtle edge of a sneer. It confused Naruto, yet he never said anything of it. He said nothing of anything. Simply watched and waited. Finally, the stranger released a sound akin to one of realization.

"Ah, how rude of me", he spoke, offering his hand for a proper greeting. "I'm Suigetsu."

Naruto glanced down at the offered hand, hesitating to accept the gesture. After a while of careful consideration, he took a step closer and did anyway. He shook hands with the man, but never introduced himself in return. Turned out, he didn't have to.

"Nice to finally meet you, Naruto."

In an instant, the blonde's body grew tense. He was as quick to let go of the man's hand as Gaara was immediate to draw out his gun and step in between the interaction he now condemned positively unsafe. The stranger took a healthy step backwards and inched his hands higher as a sign of surrender. But the look on his face, a mix of amusement and arrogance, that remained the same. His voice matched the look almost too well.

"I assure you, I'm no threat", the man calmly stated.

His reassurance did very little good. He could've grown a halo over his head and still have received no further trust. The look of him, the feel of him, it all seemed too comfortable for someone in his position. Gaara didn't like that. Didn't like him. And for that reason alone, he kept the guy tightly in his aim. His determination seemed to intrigue the man, as the look on his face turned curious and a faint smirk tugged on the corner of his pale lips.

"I was warned 'bout you, y'know", the stranger's voice hummed. "Heard you'd kill any man in the blink of an eye for the only man you can't."

The redhead's eyes flashed with something akin to surprise. But that was quickly subdued by a very honest form of loathing. Positive that he'd heard enough of this useless bullshit, he decided to get rid of the nuisance altogether.

"It's true. And you're no exception."

Finger laid on the trigger and the usual excitement of a kill sparking, he would've taken the shot. If only Naruto had kept his mouth shut.

"Wait", the blonde hurried to say.

As if having trusted Naruto to interfere, the stranger smirked smugly. Caught there between an even greater urge to blow off this bastard's head, and the only person on earth he couldn't say no to, Gaara could only swallow his pride and do as told. Thus he waited. For what, he was never told. There was a curious look in the blonde's eyes, balancing out the suspicion. He couldn't help but wonder why this man, one whom he'd never met in his life, seemed so familiar with him? And most of all, why had he attended Sasuke's funeral cradled by genuine sorrow? After a while of silent questioning, he could no longer help his curiosity from breaking free.

"Why?" he asked. "Why were you at the funeral?"

Gaara's breath paused in surprise, gaze turning to glance at the blonde. His quiet curiosity went unnoticed. All of Naruto's focus was set on the man who's so far arrogant smirk dulled into a straight line. Not a scowl, but in fact something much darker. When he spoke, his voice flowed out low and resentful.

"Hn. He really never even mentioned me, did he." Not a question, merely a statement followed by a bittersweet chuckle. "What a cunt."

The blonde felt conflicted. Part of him wanted to feel angry for the disrespectful words spoken of his dead friend, yet something stopped him. The something about the man's voice that made it sound like he had every right to speak the way he did. Both confused and annoyed by it, Naruto's wide range of questions had shrunk down into just one, simple sentence.

"Who the hell are you?"

The man's eyes shifted up from the ground they'd gazed at, stopping to watch the blonde with a look that was perfectly neutral. Not smug, not sad. Nothing but thoroughly serious and placid.

"Told you already, didn't I?" he grunted. "Hōzuki Suigetsu. A widower at thirty-three, thanks to you."

A pause followed. The strangest, longest, most confused pause in the history of pauses.

"...Excuse me?"

The blonde's deeply confused question received no answer. Only that same blank stare and a hint of silent hostility. The longer it continued, the clearer it became just what this man was implying, and the less Naruto found a reason not to laugh in his face. He'd so far given this man the benefit of the doubt, a chance to prove no connection to yakuza or Akatsuki. But an elaborate lie such as this made it seem as if they weren't even trying anymore. A disbelieving chuckle flowing from his throat, the blonde went into full on denial.

"Damn, you people are turnin' desperate, ain't ya? Comin' up with shit like this", he marveled. "Sasuke was single as shit. Even an idiot would've figured that out."

The stranger's scowling lips let through a condescending scoff, one directed exclusively to the blonde.

"He always did call you a fuckin' moron. For good reason, I see."

Naruto's amused expression lingered for its short while, before slowly turning into one of doubtful anger. No matter how hard he might've tried to maintain his ridiculing attitude, the shameless personality of this man made it impossible. Eventually, he could no longer keep the offense strictly on the inside.

"It ain't fuckin' funny", he growled, shaking his head in disbelief. "Even for Akatsuki, this is a low fuckin' blow."

The fair-haired man raised a brow. Not of the curious kind, but the kind that signified he found the blonde's accusations inglorious.

"I really don't give a fuck what you think", he informed, gaze narrowing. "I loved him. For ten long years, I loved him unconditionally. And for ten long fuckin' years, I always came second to you."

The bitterness in his voice, it was hard to bypass as a simple lie. The sound of it convincingly molded Naruto's disbelief into stubborn denial instead, somewhat embrittled his confidence in logic. But though it was difficult for him to wholeheartedly believe the man was lying, he still refused to trust his word.

"I don't believe you", his now weak and uncertain voice uttered.

The man huffed. "Why?"

For such a simple question, it was an oddly valid one. Even if the answer was obvious.

"I don't know you", Naruto stated. The man's dark gaze grew back its arrogant gleam, as if he'd waited for an opportunity such as this.

"No. But I know everything there is to know about you. Everything."

Though his gaze told of arrogance, his voice didn't. The words fell out spiteful and venomous, as if he'd hated every last one of them. As if he'd hated that he did know about the blonde. And though Naruto had no reason to believe a word he said, it was difficult to entirely disregard the hatred that seemed so very sincere. Maybe for that reason alone, he didn't stop the man from continuing.

"He never shut up about you", the man muttered sourly. "Everything always was about you. He refused to commit, because he couldn't leave you alone. He only ever visited, when you were away for work. He always answered the phone when you called, no matter what. He even quit his job for you. All he ever did, was for you."

The blonde couldn't help the flinch. He had possibly never been addressed with such bitter hostility, or been gazed at with such envious eyes. And it wasn't only him who felt taken aback by it all. Even Gaara, a man usually so skeptic and cynical, had lowered the gun in his hand. Out of surprise, if nothing else. As neither of them knew how to respond, the third one took the liberty to fill the silence.

"I wouldn't have come to see you, if he hadn't asked me to", he admitted, no less bitter. "So whatever the fuck it is that'll convince you I'm telling the truth, get done with it. The sooner this is over, the better."

It truly was a moment Naruto hadn't anticipated. He suddenly found himself having to evaluate a situation he'd never even imagined could happen. In front of him stood a complete stranger claiming they'd not only known Sasuke, but supposedly been in a relationship with him. For several obvious and valid reasons, Naruto had every right to doubt the man's claim. Yet at the same time, not an inch of this stranger told of dishonesty. Nothing indicated he was there to deceive, as all of him seemed to hope he'd been anywhere but there. Feeling uncertain and cornered, the blonde turned to glance at Gaara for advice. All he received in return was a shrug and a look equally as confused as his own. Very few choices that left him with. Supposing there was nothing he could lose by giving the man a chance, Naruto figured out a way to test him. A way which momentarily caused him to smile, even if it were only faintly.

"First time I ever met Sasuke, he punched the living shit out of me", the blonde remembered, mostly fondly. "Why?"

It was a good question. Had such an obscure explanation, dated so far back that no way could any true stranger have known the answer. And for a while, it seemed like this man didn't. Only as Naruto began to feel certain that he was lying after all, did a lopsided smirk suddenly appear on the corner of his lips. By the looks of it, he even came close to chuckling.

"You told him he looked like a girl, tackled him into a sandbox and forcibly kissed him. Absolutely anyone would've punched you for that."

However ridiculous of an answer it was, it did force the blonde awfully quiet. Noticing that, Gaara slowly turned to look at him both disturbed and disbelieving. He didn't even have to ask to know it'd been precisely what'd happened. The look of surprise on Naruto's face told more than words ever could, as did the mildly defensive look he finally gave the redhead.

"What? I was five", he mumbled. "I also enjoyed eatin' crayons and thought that boobs were a kind of flightless bird."

The redhead shook his head in vague disbelief. "How the hell did you survive into adulthood?"

Naruto made a disgruntled face, but saved any nasty comebacks. Instead he turned back towards the stranger, sighing in defeat of some sorts. Though still hesitant to believe the man, he couldn't simply ignore how accurately he'd answered the question presented to him.

"Hn. I don't want to believe you", he grunted. "But I also can't explain how you could've known that."

The other man huffed, somewhat impatiently. "So now what?"

"Depends", the blonde shrugged. "What are you here for?"

Suigetsu sighed, tiredly. As if he didn't want to really even tell the reason for his presence.

"I'm here to help", he muttered reluctantly. "Help you out of the shit you got yourself into."

Naruto wasn't sure whether to feel annoyed, or hopeful. Annoyed by the tone of this man's voice, or hopeful of learning something new. Indecisive, he settled on both.

"You?" he huffed rudely. "The hell could you possibly do?"

Perhaps he, too, could've chosen the tone of his voice a little more carefully. As a look of loathing flashed in the other man's eyes, he feared he might've overestimated his position in this situation. If, –no matter how slim of a chance it was– the man was telling the truth and truly was capable of offering help, it would've been dumb of him not to take advantage of it. Perhaps Suigetsu saw that instant regret in the blonde's eyes, as he wasn't immediate to withdraw his helping hand.

"That's not something I'm willing to discuss in a place like this", the man informed. "So if you're done insulting me, redirect your energy into finding a place more secluded."

Forced to swallow his pride, Naruto nodded. He turned to Gaara, who again looked thoroughly unimpressed even before the blonde had a chance to voice his suggestion.

"No", the redhead growled. "You can't just let strange men into the house."

"Hn. I took you in, didn't I?" the other one reminded.

"Not the same thing", Gaara assured. Naruto had a different look on it.

"Well yeah, that was way worse", he said, in fact pausing to think about it. "I mean, you're a literal lunatic. Why the hell did I take you home?"

Mildly annoyed, the redhead grunted. "Cause your dick makes an awful lot of decisions for you?"

"Is that a complaint?"

"...No."

"Thought so."

Gaara couldn't bother to even sigh. Talking sense to this man was about as useful as pedals on a wheelchair. Pleased with the redhead's overall look of defeat, Naruto turned to face the one still waiting for an answer.

"Congratulations. You're comin' home with me", he declared, already heading towards the car.

Suigetsu expressed no complaints and willingly followed behind the blonde. Gaara was left to glare at Naruto's turned back, his steps far lazier than the other two's.

"You really gotta say it like that?" the redhead grunted, only to be dismissively waved at.

"I am as committed to you as the law fuckin' allows. What more do you want?"

"Hn. I blowjob wouldn't hurt."

Gaara honestly thought he'd spoken quietly enough for Naruto not to hear. No such luck.

"Trust me, honey. I can make it hurt."

The ride home was silent and tense. Not a single word was spoken during the entire time. Naruto sat behind the wheel, the stranger claiming absurdities beside him, and Gaara on the backseat. Not concerned if it were perhaps a tad over-protective, he wanted to be perfectly aware of the stranger's movements at all times. He'd seen people get killed in situations less suspicious than the one at hand. And truly, none of it was anything but that, suspicious. As admirably confiding as the blonde still could be in other people, Gaara knew better than to let it happen unsupervised.

The moment after they stepped through the door of their home was a strange one. Somewhat awkward and timid. Even for the unexpected guest. He stood there in the hallway, glancing around curiously, yet obviously nervous. While Naruto was too unaware of life in general to read any further into it, Gaara tried to figure out whether the man seemed anxious for reasons perfectly acceptable, or because he was about to do something stupid. He failed to reach any definite conclusion.

"Uh...So, this good enough?" Naruto eventually asked the fair-haired man.

All he received in response was a nod. A short while of quietness went by, before the blonde cleared his throat awkwardly.

"I need to change. This thing is killin' me", he informed, tugging at the tie around his neck. "I'll be right back."

With that, he walked away and disappeared into the upstairs bedroom. The other two now left alone, the tension hardly lessened. Gaara's cold gaze remained firmly set on the other man, who in return did his best to avoid it. While the redhead would've wanted nothing more than to change out of the fashionable straitjacket on him, there wasn't a shot in hell he would've let this stranger out of sight. The longer he glared at him, the more interested he became in the bag hanging off the man's shoulder. It wasn't big, didn't seem out of the ordinary. But since it could've concealed inside anything from a severed head to a time bomb, he couldn't simply let it be.

"Open it", his low voice commanded.

The other man frowned, turned to look at him, and finally glanced at the bag. Though mildly taken aback by such a sudden demand, he eventually did as told. He laid the bag down, opened the zipper and revealed its contents. Gaara glanced down at it, finding nothing alarming. Just a stack of papers, a laptop and other items of irrelevance. It did ease his suspicions slightly. Yet nothing still assured that the man wasn't a hazard of any kind. Which the redhead gladly used as an excuse to show just how brittle ice the guy stood on.

"You armed?" he asked, perfectly calm. The man shook his head.

"No", he told.

Though fairly convincing, his voice did have a mildly nervous undertone to it. The clearly sadistic smirk lifting the corners of the redhead's lips might've had something do with it.

"Hn. Surely you don't mind if I check?"

It was clear to both of them just how little of a question it'd been. Perhaps that explained the nearly nonexistent resistance Gaara received as he crudely forced the other man face first against the nearest wall, a less than considerate hold pinning him to place. Though a quiet hiss of pain did escape his lips, he didn't dare complain and willingly let the redhead check him for whatever it was he worried he'd find. Upon discovering nothing to hold against the man, Gaara released an almost disappointed grunt and let go. But only to grab him by the throat as soon as he'd dared to turn around.

Only for a split second did Suigetsu try to break free, before catching the look in the redhead's eyes. For a reason he could not quite specify, his body froze still and rigid. The strangest of feelings overcame him, filled the air he only barely could breathe in. A feeling unlike any other he'd ever encountered, one that compelled him to fear something that couldn't quite be explained. Couldn't quite be put into words. It was almost as if pitch black darkness had fallen unannounced. And it took him a while to realize that the room hadn't grown any colder. Only the eyes watching him had. Thus it made no sense for him to shiver when the redhead finally opened his mouth to let out a voice darker than any night he'd lived to see.

"On this property alone, there are seven places where your body would never be found. Fifteen along the street. Twenty-five around the block. And forty-seven in a mile's radius."

It would've been unreasonable to expect an answer from the other man. Most of him was yet to stop marveling at the indisputable evil all around him. He could've sworn he visibly saw it slowly crawl out from the corners of the room, painting the ceiling and walls in shades of danger. He was quick to realize, everything he'd heard about this man had been but a tame and vague understatement. For no words in the world could've described the diabolic pressure slowly crushing him from all directions, and nothing explain the inhumane growl that fell from the redhead's lips.

"Lie to my angel, and you'll rot in all of 'em."

Might've only been because of the generally dangerous atmosphere, but it was worryingly easy for Suigetsu to picture his own body cut into forty-seven even pieces. He'd never heard a threat as convincing in his entire life, that he could say with certainty. It would've been dumb of him not to take it seriously. Thus he didn't hesitate to hastily nod as a sign of having understood what he'd been told. Immediately after, sounds of footsteps coming down the stairs could be heard. Gaara was quick to let go and turn to see the one now back downstairs. It was astonishing, how quickly the pronounced darkness in that room crawled back to the pits of inferno it'd risen from. The instant the redhead laid his eyes on the blonde, he turned into someone entirely else. The fallout of homicidal intent vanished, replaced by a sudden feel of genuine worship of a single focus point. And that indisputably was the most terrifying thing Suigetsu could remember having witnessed. It almost was as if he hadn't just seen the gates of hell crack open ever so slightly. Naruto never even as much as suspected that something strange had taken place.

"Don't you wanna get out of that terrible thing?" the blonde asked Gaara upon reaching them.

"I'm fine", the redhead said, though did shift awkwardly.

As terribly uncomfortable as he was, leaving the room would've made him a million times more uncomfortable.

"Masochistic moron, ain't ya", Naruto mumbled, as he stubbornly loosened the other's tie. The redhead smirked crookedly.

"I'm anythin' you want me to be", he assured.

"I can't even argue with that", the blonde admitted, while opening a few buttons on the man's shirt. A few seemed like a disappointing amount.

"Hn. That's all?" Gaara grunted, earning a disapproving headshake.

"You are insatiable", the blonde mumbled, and turned to look at their more or less awkward guest. "You. Take a seat."

He did. Walked past the other two, circled the redhead from as far away as humanly possible and took a seat by the island counter. Naruto took a seat across him and Gaara beside the blonde, after taking off his jacket and rolling up the sleeves of the shirt underneath. Amazingly, that alone made breathing less of a burden.

"Well. I think you got some explainin' to do", Naruto told the man across him, while placing a cigarette between his lips.

Suigetsu could've let the accusatory tone of voice get to him, but keeping in mind the redhead's trigger-happy nature, he let it slide.

"What you wanna know?" he asked and skipped all pointless remarks.

"Start with the obvious", Naruto suggested. "Let's pretend I believe everything you told me. When'd you meet Sasuke?"

Bluntness seemed to be the theme of the day. Though momentarily taken aback, Suigetsu was fairly quick to pull himself together and clear his dry throat to answer the question.

"About fifteen years ago", he estimated. Naruto was quick to follow up with another question.

"Where?"

The other one shifted awkwardly. "Sound."

The blonde's lips parted, eyes flashing with faint recognition. And instantly, he knew exactly when, where and why Suigetsu might've met Sasuke. Fifteen years ago in the small city of Sound, where he'd left to do some extensive and angsty introspection. A year and then some of their friendship Naruto had only barely forgiven him for.

"He lied, huh?" the blonde muttered. "Said he'd left it all behind."

Suigetsu grunted bitterly. "You're not the only one he lied to, y'know. Difference is, I believed him even when I knew he was lying."

Naruto narrowed his eyes. "Am I supposed to feel sorry for you?"

"No", was the immediate reply. "I couldn't care less how you feel about me."

The words certainly had a hostile tone to them, yet the blonde couldn't say he minded it. Found it intriguing, more than anything. He had to admit, this man did possess qualities Sasuke might've fallen for. General bitterness and overall arrogance, topped off with a hint of egoism. To put it simply, an exact replica of himself. Talk about conceit.

"Fair enough", Naruto stated, lighting his cigarette. "Tell me, exactly what was he to you?"

The man fell silent for a short while, clearly thoughtful. It seemed there was no clear cut way to describe what it was he supposedly had shared with Sasuke.

"Everything", he finally said. "That's what he was to me. Even if I was only a fraction of life to him."

Naruto hated to admit, for a split second he did feel bad for the man. How could he not? Liar or not, he undoubtedly was absolutely miserable.

"Widower", he then stated. "That's the word you used. But there ain't a shot in hell he was married."

"We weren't", the man admitted on the spot. "But always saying that we were was how I took the piss out of him. He hated it. And then again not. I'm not really sure how he felt about it."

The description admittedly did fit Sasuke. But then again, it would've fit a number of people. Naruto was beginning to feel too confused to be certain of anything anymore. He didn't quite know whether or not to believe him, even less since he definitely didn't like him as a person. Yet he seemed sincere. Everything else Naruto could've overlooked; the unlikeliness of Sasuke having maintained a relationship for over a decade, the convenient timing of this stranger's sudden appearance. But not the perfect invisibility of it all for such a long period of time. That was the one thing he found so hard to swallow. Whether it was because he was certain he knew everything there was to know about Sasuke, or because he now feared he didn't. Sighing, he had to point out the issue most obvious.

"Listen. He never even mentioned you", he told, though fairly kindly. "How the hell am I supposed to believe you?"

Suigetsu's so far neutral gaze turned weary and frustrated. The sigh that left his lips clearly echoed the way he felt.

"You don't have to", he told tiredly. "I'm not here to prove a fuckin' point. I came to help, cause he asked me to. Could we just get it over with?"

He certainly was beginning to grow quite tired of being interrogated and questioned. Naruto couldn't really blame him. But neither could he blame himself for feeling suspicious. Not that such a tactic seemed to be shifting the situation into any productive direction. Considering the situation as a whole, maybe it was best to set suspicions aside for a moment.

"Fine", the blonde agreed. "Now what?"

The other man said nothing, only turned to glance at the bag he'd brought with him and nodded in its direction. Frowning, Naruto put out his cigarette, walked over to grab it and brought it back to the counter with him. He set it in front of their guest, who silently went to open it anew and pulled out most of its contents. The laptop he placed beside the bag, and two separate stacks of paper next to the device. While the blonde had no reason to react to what was taken out, Gaara expressed mild surprise. The laptop, he realized he'd seen it before.

"That's...", he began, but trailed off. Suigetsu nodded.

"Yeah. It's Hyuuga's."

It was Naruto's turn to look surprised. Though given very vague hints of the bigger picture, it didn't take him long to connect the dots. As it all suddenly made more sense, he couldn't help but point out the obvious.

"It's you", he unexpectedly exclaimed. "You're the hacker. The one Sasuke sent Hyuuga's shit."

Suigetsu's features dulled into a jaded scowl. "You don't say."

As if suddenly having been showered with a bucketful of childish excitement, Naruto forgot all about his previous skepticism and went full on retarded with enthusiasm. Could barely stay still enough not to fall off his seat.

"Did you find somethin'?" he asked urgently. Suigetsu made a face that indicated uncertainty.

"Yes and no", he admitted.

Perhaps not the ideal answer. But to the blonde, who'd steadily sailed towards the vast sea of utter hopelessness, it was more than enough. Life had turned him into a whore for hope and the lack of it taught him not to mind being one.

"I have a sudden urge to undress you", he found himself mumbling in awe, though didn't quite realize it. Two unimpressed gazes turned to glare at him, one slightly more offended than the other.

"Don't let him anywhere near me", Suigetsu told the redhead, who again looked like the human equivalent of a Monday morning.

"I'd rather shoot him", he assured, in fact as serious as one could've. Naruto finally seemed to understand he'd thought out loud.

"Did I just fuckin' say that aloud?" he wondered.

Judging by the look on Gaara's face, yes. Yes he had.

"As certainly as you are dead if you say it again."

Leave it to Naruto to make awkward situations absolutely unbearable. Two tired sighs later, Suigetsu and Gaara unanimously decided it was easier to change the subject than waste time burying the blonde alive in the backyard.

"Hn. Let's start with the good news", Suigetsu suggested, opening the laptop's lid. "Good news is that I found several highly secured files and a kind of task management software I can't find any information on. Which means it must've been built for classified use."

The two others merely nodded. Considering that Gaara hadn't touched a computer in nearly ten years, and Naruto's knowledge on them didn't greatly exceed clearing his browser history for undisclosed reasons, not much was there for them to comment.

"The bad news is —", Suigetsu began, pausing to sigh, "— I haven't been able to access any of them yet."

Well. It didn't sound exactly promising. Which Naruto expressed by groaning in frustration.

"So...basically, you got nothing?" he questioned.

The desperation in his voice neared pathetic. But instead of pointing that out, Suigetsu turned around the laptop to show its screen to the other two. Naruto lazily lifted his head off the counter he'd let it fall against and glanced at what he was being showed. There was very little he could make sense of. There was a program running, that he could tell. But had he been asked to tell what kind would've been the same as telling him to birth a child. Impossible. All he could offer as a reaction was a questioning stare. Kindly enough, Suigetsu returned it with an explanation.

"The task management software I mentioned, it has unbelievable security. All programs I tried to hack it with crashed almost immediately. I've never seen a defense system like it before. The firewall alone is impassable. This is the closest thing to perfection you can get without biometrics. Whoever built the security is a fuckin' genius."

Naruto wasn't entirely sure how this was supposed to lift his spirits. To him it sounded terribly discouraging in every way imaginable. Noticing the depressed look in the blonde's eyes, Suigetsu pointed at the laptop's screen.

"This is a multitasking cracking program I created", he told. "It attacks several different security measures simultaneously, wearing out and weakening the resistance. It's not an original, since building it from scratch would've taken me months. So instead I used the framework of a program I built a while back, combined it with elements of a few others and then added some."

Gaara scowled. "Is it working?"

"I don't know yet", Suigetsu admitted. "I only finished building the program yesterday. It's been running for just a few hours. But if nothing else, at least it's still running. All the other ones crashed within minutes."

"Hn. I guess that's good", Naruto sighed. "Is it possible they'll notice they're bein' hacked?"

"There's a chance. But it's slim", Suigetsu said. "Since I'm attacking just this one account and not the entire system, they probably won't notice."

Reassuring, the blonde supposed. Like hell did he know, or even understand.

"If it works, how long till it can break in?" Gaara asked. Suigetsu was quick to spread his arms in utter dubiety.

"No fuckin' clue", he admitted straight away. "I have never hacked a defense system like this. I've never built or used a cracker like this. Could take a few hours, might take up to a few weeks. If it works. I have literally no idea."

It was quite the bittersweet feeling, to be both hopeful and devastated at the same time. For that was exactly how Naruto felt. Hopeful that there was some hope, yet devastated in advance if there was none at all. He couldn't help but fear that they'd just reached yet another dead end.

"Fuck. I don't wanna sound ungrateful, but is that it?" he mumbled, almost pitifully.

"Not exactly", the other one revealed and picked up the papers he'd taken out. "I did find a few shady things. Proof of financial transactions, for example. Bᶖtcoins, m-payments, and other things untraceable. Tried to track the coin trail, but after going through the first seventy-five BTC addresses it went through, I just gave the fuck up."

Naruto frowned, mostly out of curiosity. Untraceable transactions did hint towards blood money. And must've involved truly important people. Otherwise nobody would've have bothered to so carefully hide the trail.

"On top of that shit—", Suigetsu continued, grabbing the other stack of papers, "—there's the diary."

The blonde paused, narrowed his eyes, raised a brow. He'd joked about Hyuuga keeping a diary, but hadn't seriously thought they'd find one.

"Really?" Naruto asked. "How...terribly convenient."

"Well, it's more of a log, I guess", Suigetsu supposed. "Wasn't protected by anything, just sat there. It probably doesn't contain anything groundbreaking, but I did print it out for you anyway. Thought you might wanna take a look."

The man handed the stack of papers over, and Naruto took what he was offered. Deciding he'd read it later, he didn't stop to gaze at it for long. Somehow he felt surprised by the kind gesture.

"Thanks", he said, and actually meant it.

The other one simply nodded, not bothering to speak. Silence followed, indicating all things relevant had been gone over. As that fact settled in with all them, Suigetsu released a somewhat relieved sigh and got up from his seat.

"Well, guess that's all for now. I better start going", he mumbled, packing away his things.

Naruto stood up as well, waited for the man to finish packing up and then politely walked him to the door. Once there, they paused to think of a way to end this strange meeting. Easier said than done, they came to find.

"You stayin' in town for a while?" Naruto asked, as nothing else came to mind.

"Yeah, for now. I'm staying at a hotel downtown", Suigetsu told, as he took something out from his pocket. "Here's my card. Call me if you need to. If not, I'll contact you."

Naruto took the business card offered, but frowned in confusion. "You have my phone number?"

The other one smirked. "I have your social security number. Of course I do."

The blonde chuckled awkwardly. He truly wasn't sure whether to feel impressed, or mildly afraid.

"That's...unnerving", he admitted. Suigetsu merely grinned.

"Good."

Another short silence went by, as Naruto hesitated to voice his thoughts. He wasn't certain how they'd be received, nor did he know for sure he even wanted to express them. Yet in the end, he did anyway.

"Uhm, if you want to...you could stay here", he finally suggested. "There's an empty room. Obviously."

Suigetsu's smirk faded, replaced by a thoughtful pout. He did seem to consider it, if only briefly.

"Thanks, but no", he declined. "No disrespect, but just bein' in this house makes me feel suicidal."

Judging by the tone of his voice, he wasn't exaggerating. Though Naruto still wasn't certain if he believed that this man had been in a relationship of that kind with Sasuke, it seemed obvious that he'd loved him. Whatever the hell that had meant for them. Perhaps that was why the blonde felt the need to show the gratitude he honestly felt for the help the man was offering, even if it was offered only out of a sense of obligation. Being the type of person that he was, the only way Naruto knew how to express that gratitude of his was by boldly ignoring the concept of personal space and daringly pulling this stranger into a hug. He had anticipated the flinch and in no way expected his hold to be returned.

"Thank you."

His quiet words, they helped the other man's stiff shoulders to relax. His hold never got returned, but just knowing that his gratitude was accepted was enough. Thus he let the other man go and flashed him a genuine smile. In return, Suigetsu gave a silent nod. After that wordless goodbye and a quick glance in the redhead's direction, the man left. Naruto stayed to watch the door even after it'd closed. A strange sense of peace had begun to settle inside him. Where it'd come from so unexpectedly, he couldn't say. But neither did he mind. He didn't have to know.

"Hn. You trust him?" Gaara's pessimistic voice asked after a while.

Naruto didn't let it bring his slightly lifted spirits down. The smile on his lips grew a little wider.

"No", he told. "But I'd like to."

The redhead scoffed. "You're too gracious for a world this cruel."

Naruto chuckled, turned to face the other man and made his way over.

"And you're too cruel to understand what it means to be gracious", he said and leaned a little closer. "That's why this works. We keep each other's dumb ideas on a leash."

Gaara gave him a certain kind of look. "Like you wantin' to undress other men?"

The blonde groaned. "I'm never gonna live that one down, am I."

Not a question, just a self-aware observation. Which the redhead gladly proved true.

"Never", he promised. Naruto huffed.

"I don't want to undress other people, dumbass. I let you mark me for life, didn't I?"

"Is that what we call it now?" the other one asked, somewhat amused. Pausing to think, the blonde found himself wanting to cringe at the alternative.

"Beats bein' engaged for life", he mumbled. "Cause that sounds like somethin' you end up with after skipping the terms and conditions, and signing shit anyway."

"Yeah, kinda", Gaara chuckled, not minding the nips on his neck. "How 'bout just eternal damnation? Sounds less boring."

The blonde hummed in a pleased tone. "Perfect."

And it was. For them, anyway. As strangely perfect in the oddest of ways, as things often seemed to be. That very day included. It'd been a sad day, yet a happy one too. After a soul sucking period of mourning, the blonde had laid to rest his best friend. It'd been sad, still was, always would be. But he'd also said yes to another chance at happiness. One he'd take, regardless of however long it might take for it to overpower the sadness. Summarized, it'd been a day of death, life and then some.

He supposed he'd reached a turning point of some sorts. Closed a chapter, opened a fresh one. Said goodbye to someone familiar, welcomed someone new. Someone unexpected. Welcomed them perhaps only to an extent of reluctance, but an extent nonetheless. It'd sparked a faint gleam of hope, one that had the potential to grow ablaze, or be smothered lifeless. One outcome of course exceeded the other, but regardless of how it'd turn out, he found no reason to feel afraid anymore. Not of death, not of life. Not even of the process between the two, dying.

Because no matter what hell still awaited him, the devil already was eternally damned to love him. He was in hell, but it was a hell of his own design.


First ring.

Gaara couldn't quite breathe.

Second ring.

Neither could he quite stay still.

Third ring.

The door was right there, not even an inch away. The door which he should've exited through a while ago already.

Fourth ring.

Yet there he was, resting his forehead against it instead. So far he'd managed to avoid smashing his face flat into it. But the urge was strong.

Finally, halfway through the fifth ringback tone, an answer. A very frustrated answer.

"For fuck's sake, Gaara." Kankuro sounded annoyed. "This is the fourth fuckin' time you've called me today. The hell is it this time?"

The room felt so very small all of a sudden. Was he simply imagining things, or were the walls closing in?

"I can't fuckin' do it."

Breathing felt awfully painful. It wasn't supposed to be, was it?

"Why not?"

Questions. He wasn't capable of answering questions. He wasn't capable of even asking them, hence the problem.

"I-...I don't know. I just can't."

A tired sigh, frustrated grunt. "Again, why?"

Why? Because he was terrified. What was he terrified of? Everything. Of every outcome imaginable.

"Cause...what if he says no? What if he says yes?"

A short silence followed, one a tad disbelieving. "It's like you have no idea what you're doing."

"I don't."

Another sigh, less frustrated and more patient. A while of pensive silence later, Kankuro suddenly presented a side of himself Gaara couldn't remember ever having witnessed before. A side perfectly serious.

"What if you don't do it at all?"

Gaara flinched. What an earnest tone of voice. One that aimed to put things into perspective.

"What if you don't do it, and he dies? Would you ever forgive yourself?"

Gaara flinched anew. He paused to think about it. Why he bothered, he didn't quite know. The answer was obvious, after all.

"No."

"Exactly", huffed the older one. "Also, if you don't, someone else will. You really want your pretty boy ridin' another fag's cock?"

Clearly there was a very specific time limit to Kankuro maintaining a serious mood. If only it were possible to skin someone alive through the phone.

"If I ever see you again, I will impale you with a fuckin' fencepost. Ride that, cumstain."

"...You'd be greatly improved by a sense of humor, y'know."

"You'd be greatly improved by death."

Kankuro sighed, pinched the bridge of his nose. "I don't understand what he sees in you. You got the personality of a used condom. Repulsive and full of wasted potential."

"Hn. Too bad my personality wasn't there to stop you from happening."

"You see my fuckin' point?"

"No."

Short silence followed. Gaara sighed, finally moved his forehead away from the door and pressed his back against it instead. The ceiling he deemed unusually entertaining, mostly for its convenient placement. The bland color of it did somewhat even out the chaos inside his head.

"I can do it", he decided. "I want to."

The other end of the line smiled, crookedly. "I know. Now grow a pair and go propose the shit outta your pretty blonde boyfriend."

The redhead scowled. "I'm not proposing."

Kankuro groaned tiredly. "Well whatever the fuck it is you weirdos do. Just stop bein' a pussy and do it."

"Yeah, yeah. I'll fuckin' do it." A pause, a frown, a low grunt of reluctance. "Thanks."

"No problem, psycho", grinned the older one. "Remember. If you get laid tonight, it's all thanks to me."

Gaara was fairly certain he threw up in his mouth a little bit. A question and sincere concern; would he ever again get a boner without the thought of his brother killing all joy it could potentially bring?

"Go fuck a blender. I'm never having sex again, so neither will you."

"Don't be rude. I actually stopped havin' it just to take your call."

If Gaara hadn't thrown up in his mouth before, he definitely did now. About two thirds of the very short list of things that sincerely managed to disgust him was exclusively Kankuro. Always had been. Always would be.

"I hope she has AIDS."

"I hope you never get laid again."

Short silence followed. Annoyed on Gaara's side, mildly amused on Kankuro's. The quiet ended in the older one's light chuckle and curious question.

"You ready?"

The redhead shut his eyes, took a deep breath. One that didn't hitch, didn't get stuck in his throat. Opening his eyes, he smirked and released a disbelieving huff.

"Yeah. I'm ready."


This whole chapter is a dumpster fire of cute bullshit, I am aware. Feel free to purge all over your keyboard. I just couldn't help myself. Blame it on my unstable brain chemistry.

Ya'll been so quiet for the past couple of chapters. Makes me miss all you sweet, fluffy potatoes. (I assure you, fluffy potatoes are a good thing. Or maybe I'm just really bad at this shit. Yeah, might be that.)