Author's Notes: Because I've been in nearly the same position, and so I decided to make Roy suffer as well. Thanks for reading and the follows! You guys are the best!
55. Infectious Crying
On one hand, the situation wasn't funny and didn't call for laughing at all.
On the other hand, there was really no other way Riza could react to Roy calling her at one in the morning, his voice shaking with effort as he begged her for help with "Hughes' precious demon child."
She made sure to hang up before pressing a hand to her mouth as muffled laughter tumbled out of it. Yes, it was in the middle of the night and he'd woken her up in his desperation, but she honestly couldn't be mad. The near two year-old could be heard in the background, screaming and crying as loud as could be, and then there had been Roy, pleading with her. Roy was not exactly paternal material – his radical behavior towards the Elric brothers could attest for that – but despite his hesitancy towards kids, he was fond of them.
However, perhaps his fondness of children could only last for so long. Three days and nights of babysitting for his best friend had apparently proven to be too much for him to handle alone. Why Hughes had thought it was a good idea for Roy Mustang of all people to watch his daughter while he and his beloved wife went on a romantic vacation together was beyond Riza – she still didn't know how Gracia had agreed – but she hadn't questioned it when Roy had told her that he was going to take Friday off so his friends could have their three day weekend of alone time.
She dressed quickly, mental pictures of Roy babysitting/house-sitting in the Hughes' household bouncing around in her mind. All of them made her smile and snicker to herself. Lucky for him she was a light sleeper and woke up easily. Also lucky for him was the fact that Hughes didn't live too far from her. His salary was a lot closer to hers than Roy's, so they lived in the same part of Central. When she parked out front, she noted that the lights were on in Hughes' apartment, meaning that Roy had most likely not convinced the child in question to sleep.
Though she didn't consider herself to be amazing with children anyways, Riza figured that two heads were better than one. The fact that she was considering her plan of attack on how to deal with a sleepy and distraught child made her sigh as she walked up the steps. She wasn't going to be much better than Roy. The little girl absolutely adored her "Uncle Roy," but he wasn't anywhere near on her father's or mother's level.
When Riza finally reached the door, she could hear warbling cries on the other side. Oh, this was not going to be pretty. She knocked and listened as someone stumbled, something crashed, and someone swore again before apologizing (to a child that didn't understand a lot of words yet). The door to the apartment finally opened to reveal a bedraggled Roy. Again, it wasn't funny, but he looked like such a mess that she had to press a hand to her mouth to keep herself from laughing.
"Oh, thank whatever higher power there is, you're here," Roy groaned, gesturing at her to hurry inside so that he could close the door and muffle the sounds of the crying baby girl.
Riza swept her eyes over at Roy as he ran his fingers through wild black hair and examined the scene. She hadn't seen Roy like this in… God, had she ever seen him like this? Maybe in Ishval, but that was it. Was she really comparing his looks after babysitting for three days to his time during war? But then it looked as if he'd been messing with his hair constantly and had dark circles under his eyes, which were wide and panicky. His clothes were absolutely rumpled and even had some green and orange goop on it in what she figured was food.
Quite frankly, Roy looked like he'd gone on a two day drinking bender.
And then there was Elicia Hughes, an adorable baby girl on most days, sitting in the middle of the living room in what looked like the entirety of her toys, head tilted back as she cried non-stop.
"She was fine, everything was fine," Roy was muttering, both of his hands in his hair now, "and then she woke up around nine, and she wouldn't stop… She hasn't stopped and it's been hours and I've done absolutely everything that I can think of, but I don't… I don't know what to do."
Riza's heart leapt into her throat when Roy gazed at her pleadingly. The Colonel looked practically in tears over the situation, like he was bordering on following Elicia in her infectious crying spout. She knew that she was going to have her work cut out for her when it came to deal with a crying child. She did not know if she could handle a crying adult along with it.
"Do you know why she's crying?" Riza asked delicately as she set her keys down on the side table.
"Hughes," Roy responded miserably, his shoulders sagging and his lips dropping into a deep frown. "She's been crying for Hughes since she woke up. But he's not going to be back until tomorrow morning. I tried everything, Hawkeye, I did. Milk, food, games, the songs Gracia told me to play if she ever got upset… I sang along with the songs. I sang." That spoke volumes of his desperation. Roy refused to sing even at his most inebriated. "But she just keeps crying that she wants her dad and I'm just a…a faulty replacement."
Riza looked at the crying child and then towards Roy. He'd probably paced a hole in the floor while trying to figure out how to calm Elicia. Truth be told, she didn't know what else she could do. She wasn't Gracia Hughes by any means and it might upset the little girl to find yet another person that wasn't either of her parents.
"I thought about calling them, but it's late, and I don't want to stress them out on their last night alone together," Roy said as an afterthought.
Riza found herself oddly touched by the statement. Maes Hughes was a man that loved both his wife and daughter without anything holding him back. He could spend hours gushing about his daughter to anyone in the vicinity. But even then, he and Gracia probably did wish that they could have at least a little alone time together, and Roy had stepped up to give them that when he might not have been the most capable person to do so. She knew right then and there that she had to help him complete this mission no matter what.
Taking a deep breath, Riza stepped into the battlefield, carefully maneuvering her way through all the stuffed animals and blocks, and then sat on her knees in front of the wailing little girl. "Hi there, Elicia."
For a moment, Elicia quieted, opening her eyes and taking a big sniff. A film of tears covered her big blue eyes that were red from crying. Her chubby cheeks were swollen even further from the saltiness of the tears. How she hadn't managed to run herself dry was a feat in itself. "Auntie?"
Riza felt something warm glow in her chest at the name. "Why are you crying? It's very late."
"I want Daddy!" Elicia cried out, her lips wobbling as tears threatened to spill out again.
"Daddy and Mommy will be home soon," Riza promised. "If you go to sleep, you can see them in your dreams."
At this, Elicia shook her head violently and her cries started anew, even louder than before. Behind her, she heard Roy groan, not in aggravation, but in despair. Then Elicia shouted out, "No sleep! No dreams!"
"No dreams?" Riza asked.
Elicia stammered through every word, her voice so tiny in between the cries. "No sl-sleep! B-bad dr-dreams! M-monsters in dr-dreams sc-scare me!"
A light bulb seemed to turn on in both adults' minds at once and they turned to look at each other at the same time. Elicia had had a nightmare. It was a common thing, perhaps maybe not in a child so young, but Hughes had said that his daughter was imaginative. They'd just figured it was him bragging about her as he always did. It was natural that she would want her father, the person in her life that she associated with safety, after having a nightmare about scary monsters.
"Oh, Elicia," Riza sighed, gently sliding her hands underneath the little girl's arms so that she could lift her up and pull the child into her arms. She sat Elicia on top of her knees so that Elicia could lean against her chest and she could wrap an arm around protectively. "Daddy will be home soon, but right now, Uncle Roy is here and I promise that he will do everything to protect you from any monsters or bad dreams."
At a glance from Riza, Roy practically jumped off the couch and sat down on the floor next to them. "That's right. Your dad told me to watch over you and protect you, just like he does."
Slowly, Elicia began to quiet again, her cries turning into sniffles, but she still whimpered here and there. Riza could feel the little girl getting weaker by the second. All the fighting she'd done to continue crying and stay awake was starting to get the better of her, but they couldn't stop before the battle was entirely won.
"You see, Uncle Roy works with your daddy," Riza continued as she stroked the child's brown hair. "And your daddy trusted Uncle Roy to take care of you while he and your mommy went on a trip."
Elicia sniffled and looked up at Riza with wide eyes. "Daddy says Aunt Riza protects Uncle Roy."
Riza couldn't help but smile. "Yes, I do, and that's why Uncle Roy called me. Extra protection for the most important little girl in all of Amestris until her daddy comes home."
For a while, Elicia stopped crying completely. She dropped her head and still against Riza's chest, to the point where Riza wasn't sure if she'd fallen asleep or not. And then Elicia began to wiggle in her arms. Riza loosened her grip, but then bit her lip as she watched Elicia hold out her arms to be picked up by someone else. Roy stared at the open arms with eyes flooded with confusion, exhaustion, and even a bit of fear. When he glanced at Riza, she merely nodded at him.
With more gentleness than she'd seen from him since they were teenagers, Roy took the little girl from Riza's arms and pulled her into his own. Elicia wrapped her tiny arms around Roy's neck as best as she could, snuggling up against him, and was out like a light in a matter of minutes. Roy sat there in shock. For the second time tonight, he looked like he might start crying, maybe out of relief or something else entirely.
Carefully, he got to his feet and carried Elicia back to her bedroom, setting about putting her back in bed and tucking her in. By the time Roy stepped out of the room and shut the door as quietly as possible, Riza was already to her feet and had gathered her keys. "I can't thank you enough for this," he sighed, exhaustion evident in his voice. It wouldn't be long before he followed Elicia to sleep most like.
Riza smiled. "I didn't do all that much. The moment she felt safe with you, she was fine."
"Yeah, but you figured it out," Roy told her. "I was about to lose my mind. The only upside is that it was the best practice I could ever get when it comes to handling Fullmetal." He paused and they stood in silence, she standing by the door and he unsure of whether to say anything else or not. "You were good. I mean, you were good – with her. I, uh, I guess I should've known. You're always able to calm down Fullmetal when he gets going."
"I was scared, trust me," Riza admitted. "A teenager is one thing, but a near toddler? Frightening."
When Roy smiled, it was full of relief. She'd felt like they were on the border of something that shouldn't be brought up – her with kids or him with kids, very dangerous topic – but by making a light joke out of it, she had been able to bring them back into safer waters. Even she felt slightly relieved.
"Again, thank you, Lieutenant," Roy said, formality returning to them. "I'll have to figure out a way to make this up to you."
"Just don't slack on your paperwork this week, and that'll be payback enough."
Roy snorted. "I should've known."
Of course Riza wasn't disillusioned enough to believe that he would actually hold up his end of the bargain, but she didn't get mad over it. She knew that he'd find another way to thank her. Much like a child fighting to stay awake for no real reason, he'd struggle to read any paperwork for the simple fact that he loathed it.
