Too Much Love Will Kill You
55 – Explanations and detentions
Once in his office, Severus pushed Lorena roughly into a seat. He locked the door and cast a silencing spell on the room. The young woman was not all the more reassured but she did not show her fear. He still had her wand with him. Not that she could not defend herself without it but he was a very powerful wizard – she knew she would be no match against him, despite her own abilities.
"Now the matter of your detentions. There were several infringements you committed in one evening, Miss Nottingham, worthy of as many detentions, if not more. You surely tried to make up for all these years you have earned yourself none."
Lorena remained silent, her empty pale gray eyes gazing in front of her, in the void. She looked like waiting patiently for his actions, good or bad. Inside, her mind was racing fast though, despite her quiet demeanor.
"First, how did you disable the Restricted Section wards ?"
"Why do you ask the question ? Why don't you use your Legilimency on me ? You're so keen on doing that ! Raping my mind like you raped my body !"
In a leap, Severus was in front of her, seizing her by her robes, raising her from her chair. She dared provoke him ! "Because… for once, I…" He swallowed hard. His dark eyes stared at her pale eyes. "Because I don't want to brutalize you any more." His mouth was a few inches from hers – he craved for a kiss, like the one he had had in the library a few minutes ago. But he could not let go now.
Lorena felt weird. She perceived something else in him, in his voice, but he controlled it so well that she could not gather what he was up to. She decided to open her mind as much as possible to reach his, taking a great risk herself, but that was worth it in her opinion.
"Now, answer me, Lorena," Severus said softly, almost in a whisper. "Please."
She closed her eyes. "Psychokinetics." A pause. "I knew the alarms would go off if I were to use magic to disable them. Using my other… abilities seemed less risky." She swallowed again, as if looking for her breath to speak. "It took me a great deal of energy to reroute the wards magic somewhere else than onto the Restricted Section door."
"How ? How did you do that ? Technically."
"I don't know. Psychokinetics are not magic. They obey to other laws than magical laws or physics laws. That's something I do naturally. I… I can't explain !"
Severus knew when he could not get more information. He did not press the issue. "Why did you want to access the Restricted Section ? For that book ? The book I found on you ?"
Lorena knew the minute she would talk about the Love-Snakes, the Potions Master would gather the purpose of her research. That she would have understood there was something funny going on with the rings. But she realized he was probably the only person in the whole castle to be able to bring her the answers to her questions. She bit her lower lip. From that gesture, Severus knew she would not reply easily.
He pushed Lorena back onto her chair. "Accio book !" he yelled. The book landed in his open hand. He perused the title. He already had an idea of the matter and he went directly to the table of content. While keeping an eye on the young woman, he flipped the pages to the article describing the Love-Snakes as potion ingredients.
"Don't tell me you wish to use your ring in a potion, Lorena ?" His tone had an almost sad, hurt tone.
She picked it up as such. He meant it as a gift. He thinks I want to get rid of his gift. Why does he believe that ? She realized this was a logical deduction. But why did he sound so hurt then ?
"What do the Love-Snakes mean to you, Professor ?"
She felt a surge of anger and despair coming from him.
"I'm the one to ask questions here, not you ! Answer me !"
His abrupt reaction confirmed her impression. They mean a lot to him. She took mercy on him. "No, I didn't want to do so. That sounds cruel to me, as I consider them like almost sentient beings. I was looking for information about them. The day you gave me… that ring… you had mentioned that they were used as potion ingredients. I thought this was a good way to start, sir."
"Indeed," he replied coldly. "What prompted you to research about them ?"
This is it, she thought. "It appears that… there's a connection between your ring and mine. Between the rings and our minds. I need to know. I must confess… that the ring being a gift from you… I thought…" She stopped, wondering how to tell him without fueling his rage even further.
"Go on !"
She braced herself. "I thought they may be Dark magic, to exert such a power, sir."
"You mean anybody else that would have given you this ring, would not have raised the same suspicions, Miss Nottingham ? Is that what you mean ?" His tone expressed a contained anger, ready to explode.
Lorena took a deep breath. There was no point in arguing. Either he takes responsibility for that part of himself, or not – but that is not my problem. "Yes, sir. You're a Dark Arts expert, you're a Death-Eater, you're consorting with the Dark Lord. I had every right to think this was possible Dark magic. Whether you like it or not, this is the truth, the logical truth. Sir. Last but not least, I do not wish to carry or wear something pertaining to Dark magic that could endanger my child. Sir."
Severus had to admit she had a point there. Even two. True, her assumption had been logical. True, Dark magic could affect a fetus' development in the womb. "I suppose your fears in this regard have been lifted."
"Not exactly. There are still many questions pending, sir. This book told me only about one particular use of the Love-Snakes – in potions. Not what I was looking for actually. However, it provided me with a clue."
"And that is ?" Severus was interested – he had his own questions.
"The footnote. Look at the footnote, Professor. My intuition's telling me that I should follow that clue."
Severus looked at the bottom of the page and read the footnote. He nodded, amazed by the young woman's cleverness. She had managed to find out a sensible clue in a very short time. Unless it was luck ?
"That is an interesting clue to follow indeed."
Lorena was surprised by his positive comment. Either he has forgotten what all this is about, enthralled by the academic pursuit and challenge. Either this is not a good clue to follow and he wants to lose me on the track of the Love-Snakes. I can't rule out that possibility, especially if he wishes to retain any control on me through the ring.
"Could you confirm me at least that this is not Dark magic, Professor ?" she asked. "I'd feel better for… for Alan."
Severus looked down at her belly. He could feel her fear. She was not afraid for herself but for her son. His son too.
"Are you afraid of the dark, Miss Nottingham ?"
She gave him the same reply than the one she had given Voldemort when he had asked the same thing. "I live in the dark already, Professor. Why should I be afraid of it ? But I want my son to be protected from this sort of… bad influence."
She said 'my son' while he is my son too. A lump began to form in his throat. Does she consider me a bad influence of some sort ? "No, never fear, Love-Snakes are not Dark magic. On the contrary. Is my word enough for you ?"
Lorena was not convinced. "I'd like to trust you, Professor, but I'd rather favor a confirmation from another source. Too much is at stake."
She clearly alluded to the child. Her distrust was obvious and it infuriated him. "Do you think I'd let you approach, not to say wear, anything more or less related to Dark magic, in your condition ? Do you think you cannot trust me as far as our child is concerned ? Do you think I'm heartless to the point I'll endanger our child willingly ?"
"I was already pregnant when you raped me. I could have lost him then," she replied with an edge in her voice. "You were not that careful then. I'd rather say… it would have arranged you that I lost the baby further to that rape." Anger and sadness could be read on her face. "I know you had the intention. I perceived it. And you know that when I perceive something, you know where it does come from."
Her voice had something suddenly very sure, almost compelling, as if she was speaking from another world, another reality. Her eyes had focused on him, despite their blindness. Severus even wondered if she was not trying to use Legilimency on him. But no, he did not feel the touch of her mind on his. She was in a mode unknown to him. A chilling mode. Almost Dark. Is there a Dark side to her elemental magic ?
"Wait for me here then. I'll bring you the proof I'm sincere with you. After that, you could not say such things as you just did." He was hurt, sad and angry at her words – even if he had to reckon they were mostly true.
He came back quickly. He took her hand in his. She soon felt a book in her palm. In her left hand, he put her wand. "Read now."
Lorena tipped the book cover with her wand. "Yod Legimeo," she whispered. To her great surprise, the words forming in her mind were those… She gasped.
"You have that book ! The book mentioned in the footnote ! The book I was looking for in the library ! Oh, that's wonderful !" All traces of anger or discontent had suddenly disappeared from her voice.
"Yes, wonderful indeed," he said, pure sarcasm dripping in his voice. "However… I'm not through with you yet. There's still the matter of your detentions to be arranged." He remained silent for a long minute. "You will serve your detentions here, in my office, during all the Saturday afternoons up to the end of the term, that is five of them. Bring your homework. I don't want you to lag behind your work as it is. As for this book, you may read it but only here. During your detentions. Provided you have finished your homework first. I'll see to that, believe me. That should make up for your damaging the wards of the Restricted Section – leaving it unprotected – your entering the said Section without any permission granted, your smuggling out of a book, your cheek and resistance to the teacher that caught you doing all this."
"You manhandled me, Professor !" Not to say something else. He had kissed her and she had enjoyed his kiss. As for the wards, they had been restored before they had left the place. They had been there all the time, the Restricted Section had never been left unguarded. That was unfair a motive for detention.
"Silence !" he barked. "Unless you wish me to extend that series of detentions to the next term, Miss Nottingham ?"
Lorena felt bad. Saturday afternoons were the only moments she could share with Alastor Moody. Sundays were for the Order of the Phoenix and other business the ex-Auror may have. Being a Slytherin herself, Lorena suspected at once the Potions Master had set up all this to avoid any contact to take place between Moody and herself. He framed me up, that's pretty obvious ! Damn. That means he knows what's going on between me and Alastor. Damn again.
"No, sir," she humbly backed off in front of his blatant abuse of authority.
Yet, she perceived something else behind the sarcasm and the punishment. Well, she would have time now to check this out, now that she was compelled to spend all her remaining Saturday afternoons with him. Five of them. In a row. Wonderful.
"Now, I'll bring you back to your dorm. I don't want to hear about any other mischief from you for the rest of the year. The academic year, that is."
As if it would bother you, she thought. That would provide you with good reasons to dole me out extra detentions.
She let him take her arm to bring her back to her dorm. But this time, his touch was gentle, almost tender and loving. The evening had been eventful but the only thing that came back to her mind now was the passionate kiss they had exchanged in the library.
Severus' scheme falls into place... I wrote that scene thinking of how brutal he had been with Harry during the Occlumency lesson in the Order of the Phoenix movie - I wanted to recreate the same kind of tension in the atmosphere than in the movie.
Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !
