Not betad.

Jessypt lent me her eyes and her time today, and I thank her most humbly.

Prompt: persistent.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.


Bella and I sit on the couch for a while longer, kissing and touching and smiling like idiots. I really, really like kissing her. She has the softest, sweetest mouth, and I attempt to make up for all the lost time when I couldn't kiss her like this. We haven't been this physical in a while and there's the added aspect of it not being taboo anymore. The sixty day waiting period is a formality in every sense of the word–that's just how long it takes for the paperwork to make its way through the legal system.

I briefly consider whether this will put a damper on things, but then her mouth closes around this certain area of my neck and I know it won't be a problem.

Eventually I start feeling a little drunk and very sleepy from the endless kisses, and I yawn widely.

"I'm sorry I'm keeping you up past your bedtime," she says, kissing my cheek softly with a sigh. "Again."

"It's okay. I should get to bed, though. I have work in the morning." I stretch and scrub a tired hand over my face and think about getting up to see her out so she can go home.

"Bella?"

"Mm?"

"Can you go back to your house tonight? The old one or the new one?"

"We have a week left with the old house. I told Demetri he could have until Friday to clear out, and the new house doesn't close until the end of the week. I'll stay in a hotel in the meantime. I have a bag in the car."

"Stay here tonight."

"Okay."

"You're not even going to make me work for it?" I ask.

"Not even a little," she says with a wink and a smile.

She goes to the car to get her bag and I pull out the couch, feeling kind of excited and happy, but with this funny, unpleasant feeing in my stomach that I can't quite articulate. I'd call it unease, but I can't for the life of me think what could be causing it. I'm employed, I'm reconciling with my family, Maddie's thriving in school and has been free of any asthma attacks for a few weeks, and I have Bella to myself–almost.

Yet the anxiety I feel is real. I try my best to keep things lighthearted as we get ready for bed, but once we're settled under the covers I know I wasn't successful.

"What's wrong?" Bella asks.

"Nothing," I say automatically.

She smiles softly and moves closer to me, tangling her legs with mine and playing briefly with the hair that's fallen in front of my eyes before attempting, unsuccessfully, to move it away. "I don't believe you," she whispers.

I nod and give her a half smile. I guess there's no point in trying to hide how I feel anymore. "I don't honestly know," I say. "I feel anxious. Less so now, but a few minutes ago it was pretty bad."

"And you don't know why?"

"No," I say through a yawn. "Maybe I just need some sleep."

"Maybe," she says with a furrowed brow.

"It's fine," I tell her. "Come closer."

She smiles and burrows closer to my chest, and I let out a long, tired sigh. I'm absolutely exhausted and she's warm and soft and I fall into a deep, restful sleep with my arms wrapped around her.

I wake up before the sun rises. Bella has her back to me and my arm is around her, and it doesn't take me long to realize what woke me.

It's the persistent ache coming from the area where Bella and I are pressed tightly together. I stifle a groan in Bella's neck and resist the urge to move closer, instead shifting myself away so my erection isn't digging into her ass.

The unease is back, its origins still a mystery to me.

"I can practically hear you thinking back there," she says sleepily.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."

"It's okay," she says, turning around to face me. "Are you still feeling anxious?"

"Yeah, a little," I admit.

"I can still go to the hotel," she says, biting her lip and looking down.

"What? No. It's not you."

"Of course it is," she insists. "I come over and tell you I'm divorced but for the formalities, and your anxiety ratchets up. What else could it be?"

"I don't know."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No. Yes. I don't know. What I really want is a decent night's sleep." I sound cranky even to my own ears.

Her eyes glisten with tears, but she blows me off when I attempt to apologize. "It's nothing; I don't usually cry so easily. I've had an emotional day and my life is in upheaval, that's all."

"I'm sorry," I whisper, my crankiness disappearing. I hate upsetting her. "I want you here, you have to know that."

She nods and lifts her head to look at me, touching my face gently. She looks so vulnerable and unsure, and I can't stand it. She's in my bed with my arms around her. She should feel safe and as sure about me as I do about her.

"I want you here," I repeat, running the back of my hand across her cheek. "I'm not perfect, but I love you. Please don't doubt that."

Her eyes widen and fill with tears and I think maybe I've said the wrong thing. My hand drops from her face and I turn onto my back with a groan. "I didn't mean to make you cry."

She surprises me by straddling my hips and putting her hands on either side of my head. "These are good tears."

"Oh."

"I love you," she says. "I was too nervous to say it before everything was settled, but I love you so much." She kisses me, softly at first, but with growing purpose.

My erection is instantly back and having her so close and warm isn't helping. She runs her hand up under my shirt and starts to tug on it until I still her hands.

"But… the papers are signed," she says. "If either one of us went to stop it right now we couldn't. It's just bureaucratic red tape."

I shake my head. "That's not it. It's Maddie," I say, my eyes flicking over to her bedroom door. "Her door isn't locked and I don't want her to walk out."

"Oh," she says, clearly disappointed. Then she bites her lip and looks at me with a mischievous gleam in her eye. "Is it okay if we sleep close together?"

"Um. Yeah, I guess so."

"Good." She turns on her side and I follow suit. She throws her leg over my hip. I can feel how warm she is even through our clothes, and I groan into her neck.

She reaches for the waistband of my pants and I tense and lift my head. "I thought–"

"Shhh," she says against my lips. "We're sleeping close together. That's all."

I swallow loudly as she continues lowering my pants and I think I'm basically powerless to stop her at this point. It feels so good and I'm as hard as I've ever been and it's been so, so long.

I let out a gasp when she wraps her hand around me, and I have to fight the urge to come right then and there. Her hand is so soft and unexpected.

"Is this okay?" she asks shyly, moving her hand up and down.

I can only nod as I watch her face watching my reaction to what she's doing. I'm complete putty in her hands.

Somewhere in the depths of my foggy, lust-addled mind, I know this isn't what I want, though, and I'm able to somehow form a coherent thought. "Stop."

Her eyes widen as she releases me, a look of embarrassment crossing her face. I flip her over so she's flat on her back and I lay myself gently on top of her. "Not like that," I whisper. I kiss her slowly and thoroughly, my tongue touching hers and eliciting a moan from deep in her throat.

I'm so hard I can barely think straight, but I do know what I'm doing and the choice I'm making. I know Maddie can walk out at any minute but I can't find it in myself to stop. I'll deal with the potential consequences later. I want to be selfish and do something for me for once.

I'm able to slip Bella out of her pajama bottoms, but we're still wearing our tops and have a sheet covering our lower bodies. I'm coherent enough to take those precautions.

I take her hands in mine and stretch them above her head. Her body is taut and tight below mine and I'm practically vibrating with my need to be inside of her. My skin sings where it meets hers.

She lifts her leg and draws me closer and I'm right there, so close I can feel how warm and ready she is. "I haven't done this in a really long time," I whisper. I'm embarrassed, but not as embarrassed as I'm going to be when we do this and I break the orgasm land speed record.

"Neither have I." She runs her hand from my cheek to the back of my head, then presses her lips to mine. Her kiss is gentle and calming. "It's not about that. Not this time."

I know what she means. For as much as I want this physically, and I do, I could have done this any number of times with any number of women over the last five years. But I've chosen not to. Because none of them were Bella. Because I'm that guy now, the one who wants it to mean something.

"I want you, Edward," she says softly. I place my forearms on either side of her head and smooth her hair away from her face as I kiss her.

Then I'm inside of her and my world explodes in sensation. I bury my head in her neck with a groan and then still completely.

Bella says my name like a sigh and weaves her fingers through the hair at the back of my neck. I lift my head and look at her pretty face, a little overwhelmed with how I feel. It may have been a while, but I don't think sex has ever felt this good.

I move my hips experimentally and then still again. "I'm… shit."

Bella kisses me and wraps her other leg around me and I'm lost. I bury my head in her neck and the next thing I know my orgasm is shooting through me as I cry out into her hair and fist the sheet next to her head. It's exhilarating and amazing and I want to laugh and cry and have it never end. I'm a bundle of sensation and emotion and I take a minute to try to compose myself as Bella runs her hands up and down my back.

I pick my head up and kiss her mouth, her cheek, her nose. I move to her neck and then lift her pajama top and kiss her stomach, not wanting to leave her unsatisfied.

But she pulls me back up so we're eye level. "What is it?" I ask.

"Do you know one of the things I love most about you?"

"What?"

"I love that you take your responsibility to Maddie so seriously. I love that almost everything you do is for love of her, including getting up and going to work every day."

"Okayyyyy." I have no idea where this is going.

"Get some sleep, Edward. You need it."

"But what about–"

"Being with you tonight was everything I wanted it to be, for so many reasons. We have all the time in the world ahead of us." She plays with the hair falling over my forehead and smiles. "I want you to sleep."

I'm too tired to argue. "Promise you'll let me make it up to you," I mumble.

"I don't think that's going to be a problem," she says with a laugh.

I gather her in my arms and am asleep almost instantly.


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