Chapter 50 - The Giving of Rings (2)

A week had passed since Helen and Nikola's return from the middle east.

They had fallen into a rhythm together, like they had in Egypt.

They would wake up together in their bed, dress, join James for breakfast, Helen would work, Nikola would go and do odd jobs around the house or occasionally run errands for Helen and James. He'd bring her afternoon tea which they would share in her office, he'd sometimes have a nap on her couch while she did more work, then they would join James in the dining hall for dinner, he'd join James for brandy and wine while Helen finished some odds and ends, then he would escort her back up to their bedroom and they would go to bed.

To say Nikola was bored was an understatement.

He knew Helen was only putting him through this so he could prove that he would love her in the boring times as well as the exciting. After John, he understood that Helen was cautious about giving her heart up again, but the fact he had gotten this far must have meant something.

Nikola sat in bed, reading one of his more favorite books. Helen had the first edition and he had always wanted to steal it for his own.

He wore a pair of black silk pajamas, a gift from Helen to him, which he only wore to please her, and he had a half-drunk glass of wine resting on his nightside table next to some visual reminders of why he was going through this, mostly pictures that reminded him of the life he was going to have once his test was over.

Helen entered from the bathroom in her nightgown, made in a similar material to his pajamas. It looked stunning on her and he did everything he could to ignore it as he stuck his nose further into the book.

Helen climbed into the bed.

"What are you reading?"

"Shakespeare's Othello," he held up the book.

"Really?" she asked.

He nodded.

"You may enjoy Twelfth Night, but if I'm going to read anything by the bard it's this," he smirked.

"Why?" asked Helen.

"I find Iago a very interesting character," said Nikola.

"Isn't he the villain?" Helen gave him a skeptical look.

"On the contrary, I think he's the most layered. The Moor is straight forward, burly, brusque, passionate and possessive. Desdemona is young and innocent, thinks with her heart. Cassio is cut and dry poor sod caught in the middle. Iago is the most intelligent, most guarded, the most controlled and has the most to lose which pushes him to go to the furthest extremes to attain what he desires. He's most fascinating," Nikola turned his gaze back to the book.

"A kindred spirit, perhaps?" Helen teased.

Nikola gave her a look and she chuckled.

"No, because he doesn't succeed, if I ever had such schemes as he did I would do a much better job of seeing them to completion. But I don't yearn for power and control like he does, he's practically driven mad by it," Nikola flipped the page.

"Sounds interesting," Helen smirked.

"It is," he nodded, not looking up from the book. "I love this particular edition the most."

"What makes it different than all the others?" she asked.

"Well none of the words have changed, nor the way they appear on the page, but the history of the printing of this book. It's first edition, great condition, I can almost smell the age and wear off its leather binding, it's quite an experience to hold a book that almost tells a story aside from the one written inside it. You understand?" he asked and Helen nodded.

"I love old books too," she cuddled closer to him and pecked his cheek.

"What was that for?" he asked.

"A reward. It's been a week and you have been an absolute dear," she wrapped her arms around him. "I just thought you would like the encouragement."

Nikola give her a devious smirk.

"Really?" he put the book down finally and Helen rolled her eyes.

"Don't get any ideas," she warned.

Nikola leaned over and kissed her.

"How's that?" he chuckled.

"Mm, I think you're losing your touch," Helen teased and Nikola frowned. "I'm kidding."

"You better, cause if I'm losing it now think how it will be in fifty years from now," he wrapped an arm around her and snuggled close.

"Is that how long you intend to stay?" she asked.

"If you'll let me," he smirked and Helen answered him with another kiss.

Without really thinking both turned off their respective lamps and crawled underneath the covers, lips locked in a passionate embrace.

Helen let loose a giggle as Nikola pulled her under him and broke the kiss.

"You started it," he accused.

Helen just laughed and pulled him back to her.

~~~~Later~~~~

It was a beautiful Tuesday afternoon out in the London Gardens.

Helen normally didn't bother with social parties unless she had to, to keep her standing and reputation in society. This time she gladly accepted the invitation for tea in the gardens. It would give her the opportunity to show off her new fiancé.

Helen was dressed appropriately in a light summer gown that covered her shoulders, to Nikola's disappointment. Nikola was dressed in one of his more dapper suits that complimented her gown nicely, his hair slicked back and his face cleanly shaved to her liking.

They arrived promptly on time, arm-in-arm, to the tea party.

"I haven't been to a tea party in years," Nikola commented.

"I seem to remember you protested them greatly," Helen teased. "You'd just sit in the corner and pout, at one point we just stopped inviting you."

"And I'm so very glad you did," Nikola smirked.

"You're not going to pout this time, are you?" she asked.

"Certainly not, I'm here for you, my love," he turned to her and smiled. "I will do my best to uphold your name and reputation by being the future mister of your household, and father of your children."

Helen laughed.

"Really?" Helen scoffed.

"It's implied, they think what's the point of marriage if you're not going to make babies," shrugged Nikola.

"Ah, so making babies is..."

"Only if you want to," Nikola smirked. "I wouldn't mind the effort."

Helen scoffed and rolled her eyes.

"Maybe in 10 years we'll talk about it," Helen sighed.

"You think we won't kill each other by then?" Nikola teased.

"If we won't then, maybe we'll be ready for children," Helen laughed. "To be honest I don't think I've got the maternal chops to be a mother."

"I'd make an excellent father," Nikola grinned smugly.

"To an army of chimpanzees, maybe," Helen teased and laughed as Nikola visibly deflated.

"Why isn't the great detective joining us?" asked Nikola.

"Somebody has to watch over the Sanctuary," sighed Helen. "Besides, I wanted I show you off."

Nikola smirked.

"Then show away," he gestured dramatically and Helen dragged him further into the party.

"Oh Dr. Magnus," came up a flagrant man, holding out his hand to Helen's. "It has seemed nearly an eternity since you had last joined us for tea in the gardens."

Helen took his hand and allowed him to kiss the top of hers as Nikola watched protectively.

"I've been away for awhile, on business," Helen smiled. "But it's nice to see you Claude."

Claude straightened up and gave her a cheeky grin.

"I've heard from the lovely James, you've been in Egypt treasure hunting, you must tell me all about it, but first, you must introduce me to this handsome specimen attached to your arm," Claude turned his attentions from Helen to Nikola and smiled at him. Nikola felt instantly at unease.

"This is my new fiancé, I picked him up in Egypt," Helen teased Nikola. "Claude meet Javor Dragoslav."

"Ooh a foreigner, charmed," Claude held out his hand for Nikola to shake. Nikola took it and shook Claude's hand only out of social grace.

"I guess you could call me that," he shrugged.

"Oh, an American," Claude nearly sniffed his nose up.

"Not by birth, he's actually of Serbian decent," interceded Helen and Claude softened again.

"Oh, how excellent," Claude was about to say something more when another couple caught his attention and he drifted away.

"What was that?" asked Nikola turning to watch the incredible fop go.

"He's half French with an over bearing mother and an elderly father, plus he's the youngest of 6," Helen reasoned.

"Oh, so he's..."

"A brilliant lawyer, despite his demeanor and appearance."

"He defends criminals?"

"Hardly, he works more with wills and estates, quite charming once you get used to him," Helen shrugged.

"Ah," Nikola smirked.

"Come on, let's keep showing you off," Helen chuckled.

"Oh, joy."

Helen laughed and tugged Nikola further into the crowd. He was soon met with hands and stories, and tons and tons of questions. At one point he and Helen were separated and he was forced to engage in idle chitchat by himself. He had one cup of tea and then thought against having another, and sadly, he had more fun than he thought he would. Especially when he met Edgar, a man there who could actually have a conversation with him at his level. It was refreshing to be able to talk science without having to explain the actual science.

Nikola half thought he had made a friend in the middle-aged, tall, London-born, politician.

"I wanted to be a scientist when I was younger, quite passionately in fact, I saw such purpose in it, and such scope, I thought certainly I could change the world with a career like that. Unfortunately, my father had other plans, but I've always kept abreast with the current studies and discoveries. Call it a hobby," sighed Edgar.

"My father wanted me to become a priest," Nikola chuckled. "A job I was not suited for in the least."

"No, you sound too intelligent for that kind of work, a good mind like yours needs to be put to good practical work," said Edgar. "I guess I lucked out in life. Politics, though not ideal was well-suited. I shan't complain."

"Me neither," Nikola's eyes darted away to see if he could catch a glimpse of Helen in the crowd.

"When something is important to you though, it's hard to keep it off the mind," continued Edgar.

"Indeed," Nikola turned back and grinned slightly.

"Sometimes priorities change though," Edgar gave Nikola a knowing grin. "Something tells me you have more than science on your mind."

Nikola looked down a bit sheepishly.

"I've been a scientist a long time, I think it's time for a sabbatical," said Nikola.

"Really?" asked Edgar.

The two of them walked through the gardens as they continued to talk.

"As you said, priorities change, I've done my part for science for now, time to try another skill set."

"Marriage? Can't you work as you always have and also marry?" asked Edgar.

"For her? No, she requires all my attention right now," sighed Nikola.

"Dr. Magnus doesn't seem the type. Why?"

"Because she knows how focused I can get when I'm working, I think she wants me just to handle one priority right now, until we're married, and maybe until we've had a bit of time together as a couple, and then priorities can shift again," Nikola reasoned.

"I couldn't wait that long, doesn't it drive you mad?" asked Edgar. "Doesn't your mind just constantly swim with ideas. Life changing, world-altering ideas. I mean, how can you stop it?"

"I...I don't know," Nikola dry swallowed. "I guess you just have to choose what's important to you."

"What? Tea parties and hob-nobbing?" chuckled Edgar.

"You do it," shrugged Nikola.

"I do it because I have to do it, not because I want to, and at the end of the day my wife still let's me play around how I want," Edgar smirked, when he heard his name and excused himself leaving Nikola in a state of speechlessness.

Edgar was right, his mind was spinning with ideas, it never stopped, he never stopped wondering, but he always quelched those thoughts with thoughts of Helen and their future together. The future that was just in his grasp. But now his mind had been broken open like a dam and his thoughts came spilling out in great and tremendous detail, his hands began to fumble slightly as if desperately in search for a pen and his right eye twitched slightly as he fought it.

"Nikola!" Helen's voice cut through the din of his mind and he looked towards her.

"Coming!" he called to her with a small wave. She smiled widely and turned back to the small group she was with.

He scrubbed a hand over his face.

It was worth it for that smile, he said to himself.

~~~~Later~~~~

Nikola wandered through the dark halls of the Sanctuary. Sleep was eluding him this night, and he had left his warm place next to Helen to wander aimlessly. He didn't feel right, he felt sick, nauseous, almost queezy. His hands shook slightly and he clenched them into fists to control it. He hadn't felt like this since he first turned.

A panic washed over him. When had he last taken his medication, oddly enough he couldn't remember. Maybe he was feeling the withdrawal.

In a hurry he ran down to the kitchen to find something to possibly quelch his hunger. A raw steak possibly, that would have enough blood in it to sustain him till he could get his medication, at worst he could head out into the streets and find a dog or cat to eat. He cringed at the thought, but if it had to be done it had to be done.

He reached the kitchen, now breaking out into an all-out sweat. His hands were shaking uncontrollably now, his heart and head pounded. He tore through the kitchen to the refrigerator, one of those new fangled food cooling systems. He vowed he'd take it apart one day to discover its inner workings, and he wondered if a similar system would help in James' chest plate. He shook his head, and opened the door. It was empty.

He growled, and slammed the door. Maybe there was something in the pantry. Anything.

He ran to the pantry door and pulled it open. He blinked as what he saw was not the inside of the pantry, but a desert. He recognized it immediately.

It was there oasis.

He stepped through, scrubbing a hand through his hair in confusion.

How could this be?

"Nikola!" he heard his name being called through the wind.

It was coming from inside the tent.

Nikola took a hesitant step forward and approached the tent slowly.

As he kept getting nearer and nearer to the tent he could hear something going on inside.

His name was called again, but it had a much different intonation than he had first thought.

Nikola swallowed and reached for the tent flaps, hesitantly pulling them open.

She was there, wrapped around another mans form, crying out in glorious rapture. Nikola was stuck still, frozen in shock.

She uttered his name again and confusion flooded him once again.

The other man's back was to him, his face buried in the crook of her neck and obscured from his view. Everything in Nikola's body seemed to twist.

She let out a glorious sound that slithered over him and caused him to shiver.

"Helen," Nikola managed to gasp and her eyes opened.

They were fearful and it shocked him.

"Nikola!" she cried. "Help me!"

She let out a bloodcurdling cry, and he heard the most gut-wrenching sickening sound hit his ears.

She fell away, unconscious or dead, and Nikola's heart stopped momentarily.

The man stepped back from her limp body.

"Helen!" Nikola shouted again.

There was no answer except for a laugh coming from the man.

"What did you do to her?" Nikola growled.

The man stepped back and then slowly turned around. Blue-grey eyes met blood black eyes and fangs, twisted into an evil grin. His evil grin.

Nikola's eyes widened as he looked at his vampire self and the blood smeared down his chin and dripping down his neck and from his claws.

"What you always knew I would," the vampire snarled with a cruel sneer.

He stepped aside and Nikola saw Helen's dead and bloody form lying ahead of him and everything began screaming in Nikola's head./

/Nikola snapped awake, a gasp escaping him as he sat up. His hair stuck up at odd ends and gleamed with sweat and his breath came in heavy, loud pants.

He couldn't think about where he was, who he was, or what he was, all he could see was that image of Helen in his dream. His nightmare more like.

Helen rolled over beside him and mumbled something in her sleep and Nikola was brought back to reality.

Relief washed over him and he scrubbed a hand over his face as he leaned over and placed a kiss on the most prominently exposed region of bare skin he could find. He kissed her shoulder gently and then sat up again and let out another sigh.

These nightmares were getting worse.

He got out of bed and went to the window and opened the latch. He inhaled some of the fresh air before closing it again.

He didn't even need sleep all that much, he only did it so he could be close to Helen.

He sighed, well he was up now. He might as well grab a glass of wine and enjoy a book in the study.

He grabbed a slip of paper from Helen's desk and wrote her a message so she wouldn't panic if she awoke and he wasn't there.

He dressed in a light white oxford shirt, and a pair of comfortable trousers and a matching vest which he left unbuttoned.

He silently made his way through the halls to the wine cellar. He picked up a bottle of merlot, he didn't really care the vintage, Helen rarely had a shoddy wine in her cellar.

He found a comfortable chair in the library and made himself at home with all the books. He found the first edition of Othello and the page he had folded down as a marking place and continued to read it.

He was partially through a page when a thought struck him. His conversation with Edgar that afternoon. He shook his head. No he loved Helen and this was his chance to prove that he was worthy of it. His work was a small sacrifice to his eternal happiness. He was going to show Helen that he was the man she deserved and he was going to show James that he wasn't a coward.

His hand twitched slightly and he stretched it, holding back the thoughts, the insatiable ideas always running through his mind, begging to be written down.

Like James' machine, he wondered all the ways he could make it more efficient, make it do more and take less so that James could live out his life in relative comfort. The shield around the Sanctuary, the weapons, the security, it could all be improved for Helen.

He saw a pad of paper lying on the desk and Nikola looked at it for a long moment.

No, he was not going to be Iago, so close to everything he wants yet screws it up because of one oversight.

He put his book down and drank a hefty sip of his wine.

He won't invent, he'll just draw out some plans, that's it, he'll just draw out some plans and then put them away and he'll take them out when he's ready. Just a few sketches or ideas to improve the Sanctuary for Helen and for James, like a wedding present.

He felt his hand twitch again.

What was he doing? He made a promise and he was going to keep it.

He turned away again.

It was just a sketch, a small sketch, hardly significant, just some ideas to put out of his head and save for later. Helen would understand that, right?

He turned back to the pad of paper and grabbed a pencil. He hesitated just as he brought the tip to the paper. If Helen caught him he'd be finished.

That alone should've been enough for him to put the pencil down and run back upstairs into bed with her and wait out this frenzy knowing that it would pass once he remembered why he was doing this and who he was doing this for. But he didn't, he touched the pencil to the pad and was soon lost in it.

By the time he had managed to stop himself it was nearly dawn and he gathered up all his sketches and tucked them into a case and hid them under the bed and crawled back in beside Helen.

She stirred.

"Nikola," she groaned sleepily. "Where'd you go?"

She turned to him and he wrapped his arms around her.

"I couldn't sleep, I went and read in the library," he said, it was the truth, partially.

"Oh," she leaned closer to him.

"I left a note for you," he said.

"I didn't see it," she mumbled sleepily.

"It's not important right now," he held her close.

Helen fell asleep shortly after and he sighed, remaining cuddled to her.

This wasn't ever going to happen again. This was a slip, a brief relapse in judgement, a one-time inquelchable urge. He would keep those sketches under the bed, or someplace even more secure and when he needed them he would take them out and show them to her. Once they were married and it was appropriate.

He kissed her cheek gently.

He wasn't going to screw this up, he wasn't going to...

~~~~April 1923~~~~

3 weeks after their return from Egypt.

Nikola realized there was a problem. More often than not he found himself in the library at night, sketching, planning, puzzling by lamplight. Each night for the past week he couldn't help it, he just had to add a few more equations, change a few more dimensions, just one more sketch after one more sketch.

Each night he earnestly would go to bed with Helen in his arms, snooze all of an hour sometimes less, sometimes more, he would try to force himself to stay but he always compelled himself back into the library, sketching.

He always left a note for Helen, in case she awoke again, but he kept an ear to the door just in case.

It was maddening. It was maddening when he couldn't do it because then he was riddled and plagued with thoughts and ideas, and it was maddening when he did it because he knew he was backing away from his promise. He chose her over this yet here it was calling him back like an old mistress he just couldn't let go of.

In the day he managed to keep the urge down quite well. Helen kept him occupied with small things around the house, occasionally she needed help filing, sometimes she went on break...those were his favorite times.

He did love being her fiancé, and being the man who escorted her to parties, who sat next to her at tea time, who wrapped his arms around her at night, he loved it more than he would admit. But when she was asleep his second love came creeping into their perfect world to pull him back and like an disloyal man he followed its beckoning.

Nikola heard a sound and quickly shoved all his papers into their case and hid it and pulled out his book.

The door to the library opened and Helen entered. His Helen. Her hair was tousled from sleep, and she wore her robe over her nightgown.

"Can't sleep again?" she asked.

"No," he sighed.

"It's almost the fifth night in a row, what's going on, Nikola?" Helen came up to him and pushed the hair from his face.

"Nightmares," he sighed again. "And I don't need sleep really most nights I just hold you and lie still, but lately...I haven't the patience for it," shrugged Nikola. "I didn't want to disturb you with my restlessness."

Helen smirked and pulled the book out of his hands.

"Othello again?" she asked.

"What can I say? I enjoy it," he sighed.

"How many books have you read?" she asked.

"A few actually," Nikola smirked. "I just keep coming back to this one."

Helen looked at the page he was at.

"I see," she frowned at the book for a moment then gently put it down. "Well I think Othello can have a break for a moment. I can think of a much better remedy for sleep than reading."

Helen crawled on to Nikola's lap.

"Plus, I missed you," Helen teased and kissed him.

"For fifteen minutes?" Nikola asked and Helen swatted him.

"You know what I mean, I've had my precious cuddle time cut short as of late because of your insomnia and I think you should make it up to me."

Nikola chuckled with the insinuation.

"I'm sorry, are you feeling neglected?" he teased, wrapping his arms around her waist.

"What do you think?" she leaned down and kissed him before nestling down on to his chest and resting her face over his heart.

Nikola chuckled and held her against him gently.

"What's going on in your head? You only get this way when something is troubling you," sighed Helen.

"It's nothing, it's just my head, recently hasn't managed to stay quiet, it's just full, I've just been trying to silence it," he sighed. "It's not use to this much inactivity."

Helen laughed.

"You miss it don't you?" she asked.

"Miss what?" he looked down at her.

"Your work," Helen answered him.

"Oh that. I mean, I'm not used to not having it but to say I miss it...I don't know. It's just a hobby compared to you," he rested his forehead against hers. "I could spend my entire life doing this."

Helen brought a hand to his temple and rubbed it gently.

He closed his eyes at the gesture.

"Come back upstairs, I'll distract your thoughts for a while," Helen kissed the side of his head.

"Alright, I'll just put my book away and I'll meet you up there," he smiled and Helen nodded, getting up off his lap.

"I'll be waiting," Helen kissed his hand and then headed to the door.

Nikola sat up and scrubbed a hand over his face.

Helen turned back for a moment to see him hunched over the table with the book lying flat on top of it. Looking like something was washing over him. It struck her still and she watched as a huge weight seemed to slowly lower itself on to him. Then he shook it off and put the book away.

Helen darted out of the room as silently as she could and went upstairs as quickly as she could. She reached the bedroom before he did and he entered looking a little weary but still bearing his grin.

Helen smiled back to him, sitting on the bed.

"Come here," she instructed and he did so.

He stumbled his way over and crawled to his knees in front of her. She pushed his cowlick out of her way and cupped his face.

She kissed him gently. He kissed back just as tenderly. His hands went to either side of her as he pushed himself further on to his knees, pushing further into the kiss.

His arms twisted around her waist lightly, just brushing her skin, as if she'd break of he held on too tightly.

Helen was the first to break the kiss, taking in a long gasp. She rested her head on his shoulder and kissed it gently.

"Helen, I..."

"Yes, Nikola?" Helen shuddered and pulled back to look at him.

"I..." he finished his thought by kissing her again.

He pushed her further on to the bed, kissing with a renewed fervor...and desperation/

/Helen awoke to find herself alone again.

It was still nighttime. Barely a few hours before dawn. Nikola wasn't beside her, nor had he left her a note.

She sat up and looked around. Something wasn't right, and she knew it. She grabbed her robe and put it on.

Out of nervousness she twisted the ring on her finger, the beautiful ring Nikola had given her as an engagement ring.

She didn't need a note to know where he was or what he was doing.

She descended the stairs to find him in the library.

She was as quiet as possible.

He didn't even flinch when she came in, she doubted that she heard him at all.

She watched him, drawing and sketching frantically, the sweat dripping off his forehead, like a fever.

Lying on the chair he usually sat was the first edition of Othello. Helen lifted it up, careful not to even make a rustle.

She looked down at the page and then put it back down.

She sat down as a wave of disappointment, or maybe even heartbreak washed over her.

She brought a hand to her head and rested her forehead in it.

Nikola paused, as if sensing her grief. He spun around and looked at her with fear in his eyes.

"Helen," he gasped. "I can explain."

"I know Nikola," she sighed. She felt heavy all of the sudden.

"It's just sketches Helen, things in my head I'm just trying to put out of my head for later, that's all it is," he came up to her, and kneeled, grasping her hands tightly.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she asked. "Why did you feel you had to keep it from me?"

Nikola swallowed.

"I don't know, I...I thought, I don't know what I thought," he sighed. "It was only going to be a few drawings and that was it."

"Nikola, I have never located you're inventing, that is not the point. The point was I want you to be honest with me, I wanted you to come to me with these feelings or these doubts. Trust in me a little. Not sweep it under the rug like always Nikola. You will always keep your inner workings to yourself."

Nikola looked down.

"I'm sorry," he sighed. "It won't happen again, I promise."

"Yes it will, Nikola," Helen sighed. "You are a man of habit, you are too used to controlling every small aspect of your world. I can't live like that."

Nikola's heart sunk. He'd blown it.

"I understand," he released her hands and dropped his gaze once again.

"I don't doubt that there's apart of you that cares for me, but you don't love me, Nikola," his gaze shot up at that. "You love me when you have nothing better to do than to love me."

"Helen, how can you think that?" he looked up to her.

"You have done everything but say the words Nikola, I love you, you haven't looked into my eyes and said those words to me. I have asked and you have said yes, but that's not the same. Something in you can't do it," she stood up and he followed her. "And I don't think you'll ever truly mean it until you do."

"Helen, I...I," he stuttered. "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault, it's neither of ours, in fact it's a good thing this happened now before anything else. We were perfect in Egypt, we loved each other in Egypt, but in the end ten or fifty years from now, we would've hated each other in the end. You would've hated me for taking away your work, I would've hated you for putting your work above me. It's just not meant to be this time, Nikola."

Nikola nodded.

"How did you...how did you know?" he asked.

"Your book, you kept it at the same page the last few times I checked," she sighed.

Nikola looked at the book lying on the chair, mentally cursing himself.

"I really did try this time," he sighed going to pick it up.

"I know."

"I really intended to stay," he flipped the book open.

"I know."

"Are we at least still friends?" he asked. "If we put this behind us, can we at least be that?"

Helen smiled and pecked his cheek.

"If you keep in touch," she teased. "You are always going to be my friend, Nikola."

Nikola nodded.

"Alright then," he cleared his throat slightly. "I should probably leave before morning...I don't think I could face James at breakfast."

Helen chuckled slightly.

"Will you at least tell him it was a mutual agreement, just leave out all this please," sighed Nikola.

Helen nodded.

"Of course," she nodded.

"It's a good thing, I can go back to my hotel, my birds. I wonder if that white one is still there. She was my favorite," Nikola chuckled, looking down at his hands.

Suddenly a glint of something sparkly brought his gaze back up to him.

"I'm sorry, Nikola," Helen placed the ring back in his hands, and of all that had happened, this hurt the most.

Nikola stared down at the ring, a part of him twisting at the sight of it.

"No, what's to be sorry about, we tried to hold on to an ideal and we couldn't, doesn't change who we are or what we mean to each other," Nikola dismissed it and put the ring into his pocket, still not making eye contact with her.

"You will write, won't you?" asked Helen.

"Always, of course, this isn't the last you've seen of me or Javor Dragoslav, Helen Magnus," he chuckled. "It's the end of an era."

With that he kissed her soundly and briefly before walking away.

She watched him leave knowing he was going up to her room, collecting what little of his stuff he had, he would go, find an inn for the evening and leave on the first boat to New York. That was what he did. It was what she half-expected him to do.

She gave him the space. They hard parted on good enough terms an she wasn't going to make it an issue.

When she reached her bedroom after she had heard him leave she found the bed made all neatly, everything as or had been before he had come in. On his side of the bed he left a note.

"We'll always have our Oasis."

It was enough to allow a tear to slip past her facade. She curled onto the bed and places her arms on his side as if he was still there, closed her eyes and wept until she fell asleep.

When morning came life went on just as it had before, and then soon the whole engagement became a blur. Sometimes she'd be asked, where's that fiancé of yours and she think back on it with a fond sadness.

She never looked to find that a certain first edition copy of a book had gone missing.

And every once in a while she'd get a letter from a friend asking: "Miss me yet?"

That always made her roll her eyes.

~~~~Author's Notes~~~~

Yay! 200,000 words! I've written this many words for this fic alone! I call that an accomplishment :) What do you think?

I made this let down a little less heart being ripped out of chest , though Nikola is a little on the disheartened side. He and Helen couldn't have a huge blow up over it, it didn't seem right we already had that. They just sweep it under the rug and then it just adds to Nikola and Helen's banter.

I worked it in that, if you recall Tesla's first episode when he says I love you, Helen does a double take, and that's because of this exchange, that was what i was implying. Some more fun to come. I hope you guys aren't aching too bad, it was not my intention, i promise i'm not sitting here plotting on how to drive you guys crazy...much.

:) ANYWAYs! Reviews are love. I'm hoping by the time this fic is done i'll have 300, it's a personal achievement if achievable, but all reviews are welcome and bring a little warm fuzzy feeling to my heart. Hope you guys aren't melting like I am :P