Yes, I know it has been forever since I updated! I am so sorry! Believe me, I have a bunch of very good excuses I have no desire to expound upon here. I plan on getting back on schedule. I have a couple more chapters written down in a notebook and just need to be typed up, but don't expect more than a chapter a week, though I hope to do more.

The problem with this chapter was fixed. and I were not getting along today.

xxx

Ratchet lay spread out on his berth, one arm rested across his optics the other on his chest. There was a data pad next to his head that he had been attempting to read, but had ultimately given up on. He found himself unable to go into recharge, and trying to focus on the the multiples of 356 wasn't helping either. His mind had kept wondering back to the former Decepticon second-in-command.

What had Ratchet been thinking? Ratchet was old enough to be his father, give or take a few Earth years. It would only have been a matter of time before he found someone else. Chances were the only reason he had been interested in the first place was because of the limited choices on the ship, and it wouldn't be that way forever.

The thing was, Ratchet had enjoyed their 'dates.' He hadn't even thought about it at first. He figured it would be a way to pass the time, and he figured Shockwave wasn't all that serious anyway. Than Shockwave had asked him about Bonding. It wasn't like he was asking him to bond with him. He had asked if Ratchet had ever considered it.

Ratchet had known what it meant. He had seen it in the way the cyclops looked at him when he said it. Shockwave was serious about this, and Ratchet realized this was more than casual dating for himself as well. Shockwave meant more to him than that. But it couldn't happen. If they bonded, he would see. He would know everything. And he couldn't let that happen. He'd hate him. He didn't deserve it anyway. Not after everything.

Ratchet didn't hear the first knock at his door, or just didn't notice it. He heard the second, but ignored it. And the next. He was in no mood to talk to anyone. When it became clear that whoever it was wasn't going to go away anytime soon, Ratchet grumbled and pulled himself up. He opened the door with the intention of berating the mech on the other side, but froze.

Shockwave watched him closely, the intensity of his gaze making Ratchet look away. Shockwave pushed his way into Ratchet's room. Ratchet took a deep breath as the door closed. He turned and walked to his desk, making a show of putting the data pads away.

"I am here because I believe I deserve a proper explanation," Shockwave said firmly.

Ratchet didn't respond.

"I have searched my memory thoroughly, but have been unable to find anything that I might have done wrong. So either this isn't my fault, or I missed something, in which case I would appreciate it if you were to enlighten me."

Ratchet stopped and looked down at his hands on the desk. He could feel his optics on the back of his head, but couldn't bring himself to face him. They remained that way for what seemed like forever, before Ratchet could bring himself to say anything.

"This is rather cliche, but it really isn't you, it's me. It's something... something I've done. You've done nothing wrong."

"Ratchet, tell me," Shockwave said. "Please. Or don't, but whatever you've done, I've done worse during the war. You can trust me."

Ratchet couldn't keep his shoulders from shaking. He flinched when Shockwave placed his hands on his shoulders, but didn't pull away.

"Please Ratchet," Shockwave said softly. "You don't have to hide anything from me. I love you Ratchet. Nothing will ever change that."

Shockwave knew he had won when Ratchet's shoulders slumped slightly and he leaned back against Shockwave. Shockwave wrapped his arms around the mech's shoulders as Ratchet began to tell him a tale that shook Shockwave's entire world at it's core.