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■■■-Condition-■■■

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It has been so long. Really, really long since he last felt that way. The firm stage, the wind that was ruffling his hair and shirt, and the million faces from the front up to the back. They were things he lost grasp of. And now, finally he was starting to stretch out his hand to take what was initially his.

"This is it..." Io thought, feeling his eyes to be feverish. "No, I can't cry just yet...my maskara would be ruined..."

The million faces with expectant eyes started to chant his name. As if he was a god, as if he was the most loved person in the world, the people called out to him.

"Io! Io! Io!"

They chanted.

"We missed you!"

They hooted.

The main focus of the night drew a deep breath. Slowly, charismatically, he drew the microphone from the stand before him and walked closer to the edge of the stage.

As the mellow opening of the song started playing, Io could feel to be so light as if he could be blown by the wind.

Full of heart, he mouthed the story of the song.

The whole crowd grew silent.

Io grew silent.

He thought he was singing, but there was not a single sound that came out from his mouth.


His eyes snapped wide open. And though it was freezing, his forehead was considerably glistening.

"..."

Io wandered his eyes into the room of the apartment he was renting. Calming the thundering in his chest, he saw something that made him completely annoyed. The words 'Most Promising Pop Icon' of the plaque he won a long long time ago when he was still in ZONE greeted him.

The teen rolled to the other side, burying his face under the pillow.

"Fuck you Ijuuin..." he hissed. "You're a moron."


Io's misery and frustration started about seven hours back.

It was pretty how Io had that 'blank' look as he slowly let his hand fall on his side. If he would stand like that quietly forever in that music room, many would agree, Io had class around him. However, it was only like that because the teen was caught off guard realizing that Ijuuin Kyo was fast approaching.

The second-hand of the pendulum clock at the center wall of the music room didn't even finish its round, Io's view of the room and the people inside had been obstructed by Ijuuin.

"..."

Io raised a brow at the older man standing before him. His green eyes sharp, not losing at Ijuuin's somehow grim expression.

"What?" Io whispered as he tried to catch a glimpse of the media people still busy taking pictures and video taping. "You're not done yet with those people ri-WHAT THE?!"

Unannounced, hands reached out to the teen's stiff shoulders. Ijuuin turned the boy like he was his puppet and in an instant, Io found himself being pushed forward by Ijuuin. Without a word, only Ijuuin's firm grip on Io's shoulders, Io found himself the sudden center of attention.

The annoying buzz of the media people increased, having their own speculations. Ijuuin silenced them all.

"This guy here," came the cool voice of Ijuuin, smiling like a doting manager all of a sudden. "...is Sonate Special's last performance,"

Io darted his round eyes at the expectant faces, and then slowly looked up to the man behind him. He was all too shocked to utter anything.


A change in the weather would probably be great. Considering that the morning sky still looked so gloomy, Ijuuin was craving for a little bit of sunlight on his skin. Even him could see that he's gotten paler than usual.

Standing before one of his steelcabinets, he pulled open the second to the top and rummaged inside. He was looking something for sore throat, or head ache, or for fever. He remembered putting some of those in there, now he couldn't find them. Searching to no avail, he sighed.

"Two days huh?" Ijuuin smirked. "Still not showing up."

After he deliberately announced that Shizuku Ishi would be the last performance to the public two days ago, Ishi just disappeared. It didn't help that the brat couldn't be contacted, even his home phone or his grandfather had no idea where Io went.

The media had been surveiling around their building the next day after. The phones in their office wouldn't stop ringing. Newspapers' entertainment section was filled with Ijuuin's face, Usami Akihiko, Misaki and Minase. It seemed like the whole attention was directed to Ishi though.

Ijuuin frowned. He could remember that the columnists were more focused on how Ishi tried to fool everyone before. Bashing Ishi about how he could perform when he sounded like a choking duck. Could they be any harsher than that?

The man tugged at his collar, zipping his shirt up to his neck. He just felt a shiver and he knew it was getting bad. The stress of stopping those media people from entering, giving comments on how Ishi ended up in his studio, and how Ishi got entangled with the Sonate special was taking its toll on Ijuuin's body.

Come to think of it, after mentoring Takahashi Misaki for the Sonate Competition, he just went right away and started taking care of two wayward young adults, Minase and Io. No wonder, he was breaking.

"Minase's at Sonate Building right now, having rehearsals with Misaki," Ijuuin mumbled, walking to his chair. "All the while that moron is wasting his time sulking."

He slumped on his black, leather swivel chair and closed his eyes. After he had pulled the cord of his office phone yesterday, he finally could feel a little peace. He had to suffer again though since he couldn't just stop using his phone for that long.

"Damn kid, are you that scared?"

"Of course he's scared. Did you just realize that?"

The composer opened one eye. It was his secretary, Fuji, who just entered his office without knocking. Ijuuin drew a deep breath and closed his eyes once more.

"Here, I need you signing this. Some sponsors are quite doubtful on what you are doing you know," Fuji pushed the litter on Ijuuin's table and placed the open folder waiting for Ijuuin's signature. "Also, there's a meeting later this afternoon..."

Ijuuin silently took his fountain pen from it's holder and started scribbling. Surprisingly, he didn't expect he was that under the weather that his pen fell on the floor instead.

"Ijuuin? Are you okay?"

"No worries..." the other replied, reaching for his pen. "...my hand just hurt a bit."

"Your hand?" Fuji looked outside for a few seconds and gathered the folders without the sign he needed. "It hurts more during winter huh? You're always a poker face so it's hard to notice, but it seemed like this time you need to take a break."

The darkhaired man irritably sighed like a kid. "As if I could? There are just things that need to be done. I have to go to Misaki and Minase's rehearsals after lunch."

"Usami-san is there anyway so you shouldn't worry too much," Fuji countered sternly. "Rest now. If you don't want to go home, use the sleeping rooms, what are they for?"

Ijuuin straightened up on his seat and started looking into the screen of his computer. The sound of him clicking his mouse continuously annoyed Fuji for some reason.

"I'll cancel all your meetings today Ijuuin. Don't be stubborn. If you get worse it'll be a bigger problem."

The man glanced at the digital clock on his table. Then darted his gaze at the calendar on the wall. The days were crossed out, leaving about twelve days free on that month. Fuji sighed knowing Ijuuin was counting about the Sonate Special's nearing day.

"Do you want me to go look for Io?"

Ijuuin paused at what he was typing but continued them shortly. "You don't have to. If he couldn't see the opportunity that just opened up for him, he's still an amateur."

Fuji smiled faintly. "You say 'amateur' but you're putting your name at stake for him."

"He'll show up crying to me any minute," Ijuuin mumbled, hitting on the 'enter' to save what he just typed.

The secretary narrowed his eyes. "Io is not that easy. The tiger you thought you've already tamed might bite you big time."

Ijuuin ignored the comment. Seeing that his boss was turning a deaf ear, Fuji started heading out. However, just when he was about ready pulling the door open he turned back at Ijuuin with a concerned look in his eyes.

"Be careful Ijuuin. You get attached to the people you're taking care of. With your previous students, Takahashi-kun in particular. I don't have any problem with Minase since he's got a stable mindset. But that Io, he's so fickle. If he seriously leaves for good just like Misaki..."

"Who gets attached? Misaki's a different matter and well...Io...he's free to do whatever he wants."

Fuji creased his brows and started his leave. "You're pretty attached already I'm telling you."

"..."

"Anyway, I'll bring you medicine in the sleeping room so get your sick self in there."

Only after the door clicked close did Ijuuin looked back at the newspaper images on his desk. Io's haughty picture used by the columnist took a third of the page. Under it said, 'hocus pocus, known for his dirty ways who knows what this person did to get the BlackMedley back him up?

The reason he was so into helping Shizuku Ishi was because he hated that a person tries to change themselves, while everyone was trying to pull him had his own share of that. Being always second to Usami Akihiko back in their university days. Having his hand injured, being told that he wouldn't be able to use his hand anymore, everyone had been telling him to quit instead of telling him that there was still hope.

He was able to get through with it on his own. But how assuring it would've been if someone extended a hand.

He also just didn't want another soul get crushed because of people's judgement. Besides, Io said himself he wanted to go back to the spot where he used to be. He might still be a little kid though for being so undecisive. Knowing that, Ijuuin thought it'd be his job to understand the brat. He almost was near to thinking that he was raising a pet, perhaps a cat, or a stallion.

"Maybe I have to listen to Fuji this time..." he shut his computer off and slowly went out of his office. "I need to rest..."

He pulled his phone out and checked if he had any messages or calls. Other than missed calls from the media people and messages from Usami regarding the Sonate, there was nothing from Io.

After all the thinking Ijuuin did, he must admit, though Io would probably be mad if he learns it. Ijuuin felt pity. That pity started when Io sang in the Sonate Competition with his scratched up voice, admitting he was just a fake just so Misaki could clear his name. When Io sang on that stage still with that proud look, he already started feeling pity for the kid. He just didn't notice right away.


He ever so lightly stepped his foot in the long chess-board-like floor. Ducking low, hoody on, hands inside his jogging pants, his sneakers didn't make any sound. He lifted his gaze and looked left and right. There were female employees walking with coffee in their hands so he stopped and hid himself behind a huge, artificial plant.

"Why am I doing this again?" Io whispered, continuing his escapade to Ijuuin's office.

Io was still annoyed at Ijuuin. The teen had cursed Ijuuin and if that could kill, Ijuuin's photo would be in a shrine with burning incense. He had thought of running away countless times. Really moving out of everyone's eyes, media, the public, from Ijuuin. However, when he was so dead serious of going away, he ended, for some stupid reason, at Ijuuin's office building.

It was like he wanted to run and yet he didn't want to. Just like how he wanted to change but still can't do it.

He carefully turned the knob to Ijuuin's office. Even the faint sound it made was loud enough for Ishi to be nervous. He was pretty sure Ijuuin would chew him out after disappearing for so long. So he just wanted to see if his appearance would be at a good time. If Ijuuin looked pissed, even though it was how Ijuuin looked like most of the time, then he'd sneak away from sight.

"Wow, who do we have here?"

"...?!" Io turned around, almost losing his footing.

"What are you doing sneaking around like a thief?"

"F-Fuji-san?!" Io heaved a sigh and stood properly. "Nothing. I just left something inside."

Fuji walked past the teen, carrying a tray. Io followed behind, his eyes fixed at what Fuji was carrying but he didn't ask what it was for.

"So he finally obeyed me huh?" Fuji mumbled as he lowered the tray on the cluttered table. There was no one in Ijuuin's office, save for the cat figurine that raises its paws up and down.

It surprised Io when the secretary turned to him with eyes he knew was irritation. "Io, you plan on running away right?"

"Huh-'course not!" the green-eyed teen looked at his sneakers he painted himself and sighing, gave up. "Yeah...I did think about it...but...well I'm still here."

"Io, I understand that breaking a habit is hard. But everyone here in this place could appreciate it if you cut off a bit of that self-centeredness of yours."

"..."

"I may like to badmouth Ijuuin, but he's still my boss and a good friend. I hate it that he's gambling what he's got into someone who's so undecisive."

"What are you saying all of a sudden?" Io snapped. He wasn't used being reprimanded. Other than Ijuuin who always manage to yank his chains, Fuji had been quiet and neutral. Hearing the secretary all of a sudden like that made Io unsure how to act.

"Let me just remind you that I was here, with Minase when you clung to Ijuuin and said that you would like to come back and change. You're all talk and you act so childish."

Io stepped back a little, his hoody fell down, revealing a messy bed head.

"Have you read any newspapers and seen the news lately? The media isn't just firing at you. They're all firing at Ijuuin as well, and where were you?"

"I..."

Fuji stomped towards Io still with his angry face. The younger male in that office just stared at the coming man unable to say anything.

"You didn't get in an accident, did you?"

"Hai?" Io blinked.

"Didn't got sick?"

"Uhm...no.."

"Then why didn't you call us? If you wanted to think things through we would give you space you brat."

"Well...I was shocked and uhm...scared?"

Fuji sighed, his face changed drastically from an angry mother, to a relieved brother. He patted the boy a little too harder on the shoulder that Io flinched. "There are people who worry about you, you know? This isn't ZONE."

Io looked around, as if he was searching for something. And when he didn't find it, he pulled his hood back on murmuring, 'I'm sorry."

The light laughter from Fuji surprised Io. The man went to the table, gathered the tray and pushed them to Io with a meaningful grin.

"Did I scare you? Consider it my other half. Anyway as long as you know how to apologize now, all is good."

Io looked at the tray he was forced to carry. He could see some capsules, bottle of water and yakizoba bread.

"Uhm...what do I do with this?"

"Now that you're here, please take that to Ijuuin. That guy has been forcing himself way too much and is sick."

"Sick...?"

Fuji smiled understandably and opened the way for Ishi. "It's nothing serious. He's just got a lot more to worry this time, that's all."

In the complete silence of the area where the sleeping rooms where located, Io walked. His downcast eyes reflected the capsules on the tray. He couldn't even imagine Ijuuin getting sick and he wasn't prepared for it.

"It's not my fault right?" Io asked the bottle of water but it just splished and splashed inside its container. "Well...maybe partly...how could he end up getting sick that easily?"

When he reached the first door, Io looked at the knob intently. He hesitated for a moment. Before his feet ran out on him he pushed open the door and silently looked around.

"Excuse me..."

He slowly went to the only single bed in the room. Curiously observing the room, he noticed that it looked a little smaller, perhaps because of its milky color and warm lighting. The mattress was in a black hue, making the complexion of the man on it stand out; Pale and lifeless.

Io placed the tray on the nearby table and leaned a bit, feeling Ijuuin's forehead with his hand.

"Eh...I don't feel anything?"

Unsure of what to do, Io remembered his grandfather used to hold the part under his ears and neck for checking his temperature. So he did the same.

"God...this is awkward..." he thought but he slowly reached out to touch Ijuuin's neck anyway. "Uwah...I know he's sick and all...but...this kinda..." when he felt the slight warm skin against his palms, Ishi smiled inwardly. He liked the touch of it.

He must have forgotten the real purpose what he was doing. He just wandered his eyes appreciatively at Ijuuin's face. He never had the chance to look at the man intently before, and with this chance, he helped himself to everything he could absorb.

The fine lashes, the man's nose, his very slightly parted lips as he breathed in and out, they all pulled Io in a trance. He was still mad at Ijuuin for that sudden announcement, but he couldn't help himself. If he could he'd stay like that forever.

It was just that, Io knew once Ijuuin wakes up, the dream would end.

And true enough, it ended so soon.

"What are you doing?"

"Eh?"

Io blinked at Ijuuin a couple of times. He still had his hands around the side of Ijuuin's face that for a moment, Io thought his imagination was just playing at him. Turned out it wasn't when Ijuuin tried to sit. Io's hands sliding away from where they were.

"J-just checking your temperature is all I'm doing."

Ijuuin massaged his temples a bit and groggily looked at the teen. Io was sure he'd get scolded, but when Ijuuin just smiled at him and patted him on the head, Io couldn't say anything.

"Why are you here? Done with 'searching for yourself'?"

Io scowled as he pulled a small stool and sat on it. "Just to tell you...I really wanted to never come back."

"But you're here."

"You have me in an invisible chain, moron..."

Reaching out to the bottle of water and the capsules in the tray, Io extended them to Ijuuin. He did in a manner as if he was so unwilling. But in truth, Io just want Ijuuin to come back and be healthy again. The man could scold him all he want and Io preferred that rather than Ijuuin being so nice just because he's brain was being fried by his fever.

"Fuji-san told me to take this to you...you're so big but you get sick so easily...pathetic."

Ijuuin just snorted, taking the capsule the boy was offering. "I'll let that slide today."

Io watched Ijuuin drink his medicine. He watched Ijuuin drink and worriedly looked at the man who again massaged his temples.

"Ijuuin...I could help you change you know?"

"Huh?"

"You're perspiring a lot. You have spare clothes in your office right?"

Ijuuin eyed the other suspiciously. "Why are you so suddenly willing acting out like my servant?"

"I just want to help okay?!"

The man once more rested his back against the soft mattress and closed his eyes.

"If you think this is your fault, not entirely."

"So you're still blaming me?! Besides, if you haven't made that stupid announcement, the media people wouldn't bother you like hell!"

"Lower your voice, it's killing me."

Io grew silent. For a long while Io thought that Ijuuin had fallen asleep. To his surprise, Ijuuin raised his hand, as if holding out to Io.

"Could you pull on my fingers? They feel numb."

"Hah?"

"Pull them lightly, one by one."

Annoyed, Io was still feeling a bit happy that at least, he was already this close to Ijuuin. He acted as if the task was bothersome but he took the man's hand gently and did what he was told.

Massaging the man's long fingers didn't feel so bad. In fact, Io was having so much fun on his own as he was feeling how soft Ijuuin's fingers were. Having so much fun, Io was a bit confused when Ijuuin called him out of nowhere.

"Io, what do you want to do?"

The brunette was currently pulling on Ijuuin's thumb. He looked up and searched Ijuuin's face. "What do you mean?"

"The Sonate..."

"Why are you asking me? It's you who just make the decisions without consulting me anyway."

"Why do you have to be so hard to talk to? Just answer me."'

Io just kept on pulling with Ijuuin's fingers. The thumb, the forefinger, the man's index finger, down to the pinky. He lost count how many sets he'd done. The sick man on the bed having his eyes closed just let Io have his time without uttering a word.

"Ijuuin..."

"Hmm?"

"I will do the Sonate...in one condition."

"Seriously...you cheeky brat...what?"

Io closed his eyes and drew a deep breath. The young man's face had changed. It was as if he just had a devil whisper into his ear."Go out with me."

Ijuuin's eyes snapped wide open. He looked at his hand that was still in Io's hand but this time, the teen wasn't pulling his fingers anymore. He was holding to Ijuuin's hand tightly.

"Go out to where?"

Io whose face was so red, anyone would mistake him to be having the fever instead of Ijuuin, pouted. "Don't play dumb on me. I mean...let's get together. Like...you know?"

"What? Is something wrong with your head?"

Ijuuin tried to pull his hand away but Io held on to it with both hands not letting go.

"You like Misaki but he's got Akihiko-san now. So..."

"Io, are you out of your mind? How could I agree with that kind of condition? It's nonsense."

"Why? Isn't it okay? We're both free anyway..."

"Io, I don't just jump to relationships without feelings. As much as its hard to believe, I don't play when it comes to serious things like this."

"I wouldn't ask you to go out with me if I don't feel anything!"

"And? What about me? I care for you as your mentor but nothing else," Ijuuin said firmly because he wanted to set grounds. He didn't expect Io would come at him this boldly but he had to make things clear. He doesn't feel anything more special than just worrying about a friend.

"..."

Io felt like he was slapped on both cheeks. But lately he's been having them that he didn't care anymore how much they sting. When you always get slapped, always get hurt, there would be a point that you'd learn to just put up with it.

"That's why I'm going to make you fall for me. I don't look bad right? I am awesome in bed too or so they say...you'll forget Misaki in no time!"

The more Io opened his mouth, the more it didn't make any sense to Ijuuin. He gaped at the teen, feeling his head was going to break in two.

"That kind of motivation Io, I don't like it. Career and your personal life are two different things. And do you seriously have any idea of what you're saying right now?"

"I don't care. I'll do everything you say about the Sonate. But go out with me."

Io forgot where he got the idea. As soon as he blurted his words, he couldn't stop. They all came out of his mouth one by one. And before he knew it, he had made a proposal even him could find it to be so low. Was he this desperate?

Ijuuin ran his hand on his face and drew a deep breath. He knew that if Io didn't appear in the Sonate, it would tarnish not just his name but the whole Sonate Organization as a whole. It wouldn't be impossible for people to think that they were just wanting publicity that was why they introduced Io.

He wanted to give Io time though time was running out. And he also wanted to keep his word but this sudden turn of events plus his aching head was too much. Seeing the determination on Io's face and the fact that he wouldn't lose anyting much, he thought of something that even surprised himself.

"Fine. If that's what you want."

"...eh?"

The last thing that Ijuuin saw before slumping back to his bed with his piercing head was his 'Misaki'.


chapter end notes:

hello? it's been FOREVER! hehe..thanks for the people who're still waiting for this and new year too!^^

-shuusetsu

(*゚ー゚) (゚Д゚*)

| つ(⌒⌒)と |

~(,,_つ \/と_ ,,)~

ps. i posted a new BL drama cd scene in my tumblr. so if you're interested, please just check out my tumblr account located in my profile. happy listening!