Saber VIII

Rin's head poked out from the corner of the porch. Her frayed black hair swayed amidst the evening wind as the moonlight shone against the sweat of her soft cheeks to give a smooth glint in the night. My heart raced as she stood against the backdrop of the yard. Archer had disappeared. We were alone together for the first time and I knew what she was thinking.

Over the years I learned to read her. The little expressions and nuances in her face, how she could deliver a whole conversation with a few glances. Looking at her I knew she figured it out and how it was time to explain myself.

I dreaded this moment, having to explain myself was never something I was good at, I merely did what I felt was right. Still, I took a deep breath to calm myself. Motionless, without the willpower to move. "Rin," I muttered, feeling the smile creep up on my face in spite of my hesitation.

She lowered her head and looked away, the faint hint of a red blush painted on her cheeks. She shook it off and put on her serious face. With her lips pursed and her eyes forward she walked up to me.

I leaned up against the wall for support, unable to keep myself upright.

She stared down at me with her clear blue eyes, a hint of concern shown in the crinkle of her brow. Explain, her face said, but her mouth could not. Hesitant. She didn't know what to saw or how to begin.

I reached into my vest, fishing for a pack of cigarettes tucked away in the maze of magazine pouches. A cough forced its way up from my stomach, and in violent fits I clutched at my chest. Blood seeped from my mouth. Too much pain, too little prana. Five, maybe ten, minutes left in my life.

She knelt down beside me and placed her hands on my chest to steady me.

My body relaxed as she pressed down with a firm force.

With her other hand she reached into my pockets. I watched her as she slipped between the webbing, searching.

A glint of moonlight flashed between her fingers. She tried to bury the smile that clawed its way to the surface, but I knew it was there.

In her hands was our wedding ring.

What should I say? I planned this all out in advance, what I would do, the words I was use; but now I don't know what to do. How do I tell her?

She clutched the ring close, admiring the engravings within the silver and the bright inset rubies. Her eyes ran along the engravings. A smile snuck up onto her face, flashing for a moment as a snicker escaped from the confines of her curling lips. She laughed.

"I never thought I'd see that face again."

I remembered. Over the Thames River during a wet sopping winter, and backdropped against the London Eye, I proposed to her. She clutched at my hand and screamed in my face, and claimed it was the rain. But her face said it all. Yes.

Rin's laugh died down and a tear rolled down her cheek.

"I'm sorry," I said.

"Who are you?"

Emiya Shirou. No. I shook my head. I was more than that. My life was beyond that of a "Hero of Justice." Most of my life I searched for something to die for. People to save, people to protect. But I found I something to live for. I was a hero, yes, but I was also a husband, and a father.

"Tohsaka..." I muttered, "Tohsaka Shirou."

"Ooh?" She smiled, that mysterious bemused look plastered onto her face. She wasn't surprised, instead enjoying the nature of my predicament as if it were expected.

I shrugged.

She nodded. We needed the Tohsaka name to continue to lineage and maintain the household in Japan.

I rolled over a creak to my left and pulled out a grey washed out leather wallet with a hole in the center of it. I held it up to her. Inside was a picture of us. A picture of our family.

Her eyes lit up as she opened the wallet.

"Abby and Malcolm," I said. The center of our world. Nothing tore my heart more than when they learned magecraft, when they wanted to follow my footsteps. I was not relieved like Kiritsugu was; it was not the life I wanted for them.

Rin closed the wallet, and steeled herself. She had gotten distracted and tried to regain her focus. "I need to confirm," she said, "and everyone else is Emiya?"

I nodded, and told her about the Grail War I experienced. How I fought against Archer in the Einzbern Castle and convinced him the path we chose was the correct one. I told her about Gilgamesh, and the Grail, and how it ended.

She sat down, her mind playing out the different scenarios, reasoning the mechanical necessities for this to happen. Heroic Spirits exists outside of time, but how did we could be summoned as we weren't Heroic Spirits.

"I'm sorry." I forced myself up against the pillar, pushing through the strain of my buckling knees.

"Cut the crap," Rin muttered.

I stopped.

Rin sat on her knees with her head turned away. Faint tears ran down her cheeks as she tried to fight them. She was softy. "Stop it," she said. "Stop trying to do everything yourself."

"Some things never change."

Rin grabbed me by the hand and pulled herself up. The scent of pomegranates drifted up from her hair as she buried her head into my chest and wrapped her arms around me. I was trapped in her crushing embrace.

"There's nothing we can do."

She looked up at me and refused to let go. A flush of red crept up onto her pleading face. The rhythm of her heart quickened. She stared up at me, nervous, unsure, her piercing eyes killed my heart. "There is one thing."

I gulped. No. I can't. I turned away, staring at the cracks in the concrete of the outer boundary walls. She's Rin, but this was different, she's younger, and the history isn't there.

The heat glistened from her hands as she clasped them around my cheeks. My heart rocked in my chest. Our pulses synced. I shivered as the contrasting night's wind blew between us. I turned back to her, mustering the courage to reject her advance. But then she began to change.

Her sleek black hair whitened, first a few strands on her head, then it grew in patches, before completely. The color drained from her face from a vibrant peach to an off-grey tint. Crows feet grew beneath her eyes as her skin slackened, leaving behind a sagging smile and a double chin. But her eyes remained the same. Blue. Piercing. Sharp as the day I met her. I could stare into them for the rest of my life.

This wasn't Tohsaka.

This was my wife.