Disclaimer: Bioware owns all, except what I most humbly create. While, at times, I will take verbatim from the game, I mostly use the events of the Dragon Age games, expansions and universe as a loose structure around which to construct my re-imagined tale. If you are looking for a strict canon piece, I have no desire to offend, and so I warn you upfront!

When reading this tale, I hope you can easily imagine it being told by the very best of storytellers in Varric (from DA:2). In my version of events, Varric meets "The Hero" (my Elissa Cousland) in Kirkwall during the time period of DA:2. I mention this only so that readers can understand his connection along the way, and so I don't have to mention and rehash it again and again as I make my way through the tale.

A/N: Down to the last two! :)

Thanks to all my readers, followers and reviewers! And, of course, to my wonderful Lady Beta artemiskat.

Happy Reading!

-Frayed One


Chapter Fifty-Three: Burying the Dead

Elissa had become progressively unpredictable in the weeks that passed following the revelation of her condition. Some days she was sullen and spent most of her time shut away in the Royal Suite alone. Some days she spent drinking and carousing with Zevran or Swiftrunner or both and drawing disapproving frowns from Eamon which she responded to with gestures and phrases Alistair had never seen come out of her before. Some days she spent hours on end furiously attacking the training dummies in the sparring ring or picking fights with anyone she could manage. At the end of the day she was still Elissa, still the woman he loved, but Alistair found himself shocked by how quickly she could flip from one facet of herself to another.

She'd put off dealing with Highever and Amaranthine for as long as possible, but eventually the First Warden sent a letter insisting that she make her presence felt at the new Warden base else he would make a trip out to escort her there personally. As neither Alistair nor Elissa liked the idea of that, particularly in light of the changes brewing within her, they promptly scheduled a trip to Vigil's Keep.

"I can reschedule…" Alistair started again, watching her pack the rest of her things and trying not to visibly pout.

"No you can't. Eamon has already rescheduled this three times, Alistair." Elissa chuckled, smirking at him. "The people in the Bannorn are only going to wait so long, and your uncle hates me enough as it is."

"I don't understand why this can't wait a couple more weeks." he whined, flopping back on the bed and looking up at her. "If it's waited this long, surely it isn't all that important to begin with."

"You made me Warden-Commander, Your Majesty," she laughed, pointing an accusatory finger in his direction. "Doesn't seem like such a good idea now, does it?"

"It most decidedly does not." Alistair assured her, joining in her laughter and pulling himself back upright, scooting to the edge of the bed to pull her into his lap. "What did he say those reports were again?"

"Something about odd bands of roving darkspawn that weren't behaving correctly." Elissa explained, smiling when his hands found her backside and pulled her closer against him. "He didn't give me much more information to go on. Hopefully the Orlesians will have more details once I get there. They've been scouting the area for months, they certainly ought to have something useful to tell me."

"When are you leaving?" he asked, working at the buckles on the side of her armor as he kissed down her neck.

"I'm supposed to be meeting a potential recruit in the courtyard fifteen minutes from now, one of your knights I believe." she replied, sighing when her breastplate popped free and he pulled it aside, dropping it to the ground and reaching up to cup her through the thin material of her chemise.

"Well, Commander… do you mind being a bit late?" Alistair said, continuing to kiss her anxiously.

"Anything to please my King." Elissa laughed, squealing when he flipped her over and pressed her into the bed with a low growl.


They had only been on the road for a couple of hours and Elissa was already tired of Mhairi. The woman was never quiet and asked a lot of questions – most of which were things that Elissa had no intention of answering being that they had to do with her personal life which she rarely discussed with her few close friends, much less a total stranger. Though she'd never thought it possible, she was almost relieved when they finally reached the exterior grounds of Highever.

"Stable the horses, if you will." Elissa said, dismounting and tossing her reins over into the eager knight's hands, "I need to find my brother and get this dismal business behind me. If things go according to plan, we will be back on the road and in Amaranthine just before nightfall."

"We – we aren't staying the night?" Mhairi stuttered, looking sheepishly at the ground in response to Elissa's glare.

"Certainly not if I can help it." Elissa replied, pulling loose her gloves and stowing them in her pack as she headed off in search of her brother.

She didn't have to look very hard; he was waiting for her in the back corner of the rear courtyard just where she'd thought he'd be. The area had once been home to a great dais, a place that Elissa herself once stood for the announcement ceremony on her sixteenth birthday. It was gone now, just like everything else good that had once lived within these walls – replaced by a long row of headstones and one freshly dug grave.

"I spend a few hours down in the sparring ring poking holes in the training dummies and they question my sanity… but you stand in your courtyard staring at graves for Maker only knows how long and that's perfectly sane." Elissa muttered, smirking at her brother as he turned to smile at her.

"We both know you've always been the crazy one," Fergus laughed, wrapping his little sister up in a proper hug, "and I haven't been down here long. I was just finishing up the last work on your… request."

"Thank you for doing this for me, Fergus." Elissa said, linking their hands together and squeezing his fingers as she turned her eyes to the grave at which he was staring. "I know you hate the idea."

"Are you absolutely sure this is necessary? I mean… you're going to be Queen of Ferelden, Elissa – it will be fairly apparent at that point that you aren't dead." Fergus snipped, rubbing at his forehead and watching as Elissa knelt down to inspect the headstone.

"A great deal of people believe, and will continue to believe that Elissa Cousland died in Highever along with the rest of her family – save you," Elissa explained, running her fingers across the marble, "I am perfectly content to let them believe that. Besides, believe it or not, it takes quite a few targets off my back – and I have enough that come along with Warden-Commander and Queen to keep my nights sleepless from here to forever."

"Speaking of sleepless nights… you are staying here tonight night, aren't you?" Fergus asked, watching her pinch the bridge of her nose as she stood and knowing he had his answer.

"Absolutely not." Elissa snorted, shaking her head, "We've spoken about this many times, Fergus. I can barely even stand being here. I only came to make sure that you did as I asked and with the vain hope that you'd finally leave me be about it if I did finally make an appearance."

"Do you think this is easy for me, Elissa? I lost as much here as you did – even more!" Fergus yelled, the famous Cousland temper flaring up with his frustration. "But I'm here, cleaning it all up, living with the nightmare every day."

"I never asked you to do that, Fergus! You took this burden on yourself!" Elissa snapped back, glaring at him as her own temper flared, "As far as I'm concerned you should raze the whole thing to the ground! Burn it all! There is nothing left here to salvage!"

"How can you say that?" Fergus retorted, reaching over to grab her arm and tug her closer to him. "You'd have me burn our childhood, burn Rory, Oriana, Oren, burn Mother and Father?"

"Mother and Father? Rory?" Elissa laughed, bitter and hard – yanking her arm free from her brother's grasp. "Tell me, brother, did you even find their bodies? Was Howe kind enough to leave them all lined up with pretty bows waiting for a proper burial?"

"You know he didn't… but that doesn't change the fact that they're here, somewhere, and we should do what we can to rebuild our home and honor their memory." Fergus replied, his voice shaking slightly at the thought of what he didn't find.

"That's the problem Fergus, they're here… somewhere… everywhere I look…" Elissa croaked, tears starting to flow now as she remembered, "It isn't the same for you! You weren't here to see it. I was! And now it's everywhere… I can hear the screams, smell the burning… see the blood… even now and it's been years, years since it all happened!" Fergus was crying now too, trying to reach out for her though she fought against his embrace. "I came here to bury my past Fergus – here and in Amaranthine. Please, if you care for me at all, just let me do it. I am begging you! It is the only way that I can move forward from here and try to have any kind of normal life."

Fergus wanted to argue, to come up with words of comfort or reassurance – but he could find none within him. Elissa was right; he could never understand what she'd seen and all that she'd gone through since they'd said their goodbyes in his room that night so long ago. The best thing he could do for her was try to support her as she navigated the treacherous waters of her past and put her ghosts to rest as best as was possible. That, and hope that Alistair could reach her where he could not.


When Mhairi finally found the Warden-Commander and her brother, they were tossing back a couple of mugs of ale in the kitchen and sharing a plate of cheese and dried meats.

"You have got to stop telling Alistair stories!" Elissa warned, shaking her finger at him where he continued to laugh riotously across the table, "I mean it, Fergus! No more! I'll start screening your correspondence if I have to!"

"C-commander." Mhairi said tentatively, she was disobeying a direct order in coming to seek the temperamental Queen out – but she needed to keep them on schedule if they had any hope of reaching Amaranthine before nightfall as she'd said was the plan when they arrived in Highever, "P-pardon me for interrupting, but… I wondered if the plan was still to make the journey to Vigil's Keep tonight, or if you had decided to stay the night in Highever."

"No, we're leaving tonight…" Elissa sighed, rolling her eyes when she watched her brother look appreciatively at the pretty knight. "Go ahead and prepare the horses. I'll be out momentarily."

"Yes ma'am." Mhairi replied, bowing and quickly leaving the room.

"Well she's pretty for a knight, isn't she?" Fergus said, gnawing on another piece of cheese and watching Elissa stand and toss back the last of her ale.

"That appears to be all she's got going for her so far as I can tell." Elissa snorted, putting the mug back down on the table and glaring at the woman's back as she disappeared down the hall. "She never shuts up and has an unhealthy obsession with the King."

"With Alistair?" Fergus laughed, spitting the mouthful of ale he had just taken out at the comic look on Elissa's face. "I can't believe she was foolish enough to tell you about it! Does he know?"

"Oh, I suspect he does now… made a right spectacle of things when he delivered me into her company at the gate." Elissa chuckled herself, remembering the look on Alistair's face under the pretty knight's attentions. "You know Alistair. He muttered something unintelligible, turned about sixteen shades of red, and kissed my eyeball in his hurry to get out of the room as quickly as possible."

The two lost it then, Elissa having to lean over the table for support when they truly gave themselves over to the laughter. Once the moment had passed, Fergus stood with her – hesitant to say goodbye, but knowing he had to because she was never going to stay.

"Don't be a stranger, sister…" Fergus said, hugging her tight and pressing a kiss against her hair. "You don't have to come in, we can meet at the stables if you like, or the docks, anywhere you want – just, don't disappear. I think a year apart is good enough."