Chapter 55 - A Serious Chat
"Fenrir! Am I pregnant?!"
The silence that followed Hermione's question was deafening. Fenrir had frozen in his tracks, his heart beating wildly. He could not read anything from her other than shock. He forced himself to breath as he searched her face. He could not even tell what she was thinking by her scent. She looked up at him expectantly, her eyes wide. Biting the inside of his lip, he nodded.
The werewolf stared at his mate as her gaze fell and he could no longer read her expression. He had never been completely unable to read her before; but her surprised scent overpowered everything else. He wanted to reach out and touch her, just to have something to go on, but he was so unsure of how she felt that he did not want to stir her more. He struggled not to hold his breath as the seconds oozed by like hours.
Fenrir stared at Hermione intently, his breath catching when she finally, slowly looked back up at him. Relief flooded him when she broke into a wide smile.
Hermione did not immediately take note of Fenrir's nervous attitude, as she was quite distracted by his admission. She had never before given much deep thought to becoming a mother, as much as Fenrir often crooned about it; but now that it was in front of her, she found herself thrilled. She was certainly surprised, she had never expected it to come so soon.
She looked up at Fenrir, a grin on her face, only to immediately notice his frame let out a small sigh of relief. She frowned slightly, confused.
"Fenrir," she began carefully, "How long have you known?"
Hermione watched the werewolf carefully as he tensed once more, looking mildly guilty. She hadn't thought about it before, but she could smell his nerves; he was on edge.
"A few days, for certain," he admitted quietly.
She looked up at him with a small smile; he had tried to tell her, but had stopped. They had fought just after that. He was more nervous than she was, for some reason that she could not quite figure out. Putting her hand on his cheek, she looked him in the eye. "Fenrir—"
"I know we didn't—we didn't talk—" Fenrir started, uncharacteristically stumbling over his words with a growl.
Hermione smiled and shushed him before he could say more. "Fenrir, I'm surprised," she leaned in to hug him, "but I am also happy. I'm going to have a baby," she breathed quietly, still in disbelief.
"Our cub." Fenrir growled playfully, though he still seemed nervous.
Hermione smiled and leaned into him, trying to abate some of his nerves. It seemed to work for a moment, but he was tense again after a moment.
"Fenrir...What's wrong?"
He met her eyes; the amber of his eyes not matching the slight quirk of his lips. Hermione studied him intently as he replied.
The werewolf let out a grunt that Hermione guessed was supposed to be a half-hearted laugh, but the sound did not even come close to that. "I'm a monster," he snorted, "I'm not allowed to have a family."
She narrowed her eyes at him; he was being flippant, there was something else eating away at him. She knew he did not truly believe that. "Fenrir—"
"Our cub will be a wolf, Hermione. Everyone will know who he is...and who his father is."
"Something you've never cared about before," Hermione said cautiously, still frowning.
Fenrir growled quietly, "I— What if I really am just a monster? I fight, Hermione. That's all I've ever done."
Before the werewolf could offer another word, Hermione flung her arms around him. She understood. He was afraid he could not be the father he wanted to be; the father their child deserved. He grunted in surprise at her actions, and hesitantly put his arms around her. "Fenrir. I don't always understand you, but I know you fight for what you love. Why would you do anything less for our own children?"
Hermione laughed quietly when Fenrir opened his mouth to answer. "You don't have to answer, mate. It's not a test."
Fenrir growled quietly, but it was finally a playful sound.
Hermione met his eyes; her simple words seemed to have done the trick. She barely had enough time to take in the glint in his eye before he kissed her thoroughly.
The witch laughed, both content and giddy. "So, a boy, is it?"
Fenrir grinned at her. "Of course."
Hermione remained skeptical, he seemed to be teasing her more than he was actually certain; but his grin was infectious. She grinned back, her heart still soaring in disbelief. For once in a long time, things finally seemed right.
The mated Alpha pair sat together under a large oak tree, enjoying the quiet of the afternoon, reveling together with the excitement of their newly discovered knowledge. Fenrir would smile and wrap his arms around Hermione's belly as the two conversed quietly.
The two settled into a comfortable silence, merely enjoying the comfort provided by sitting together.
Hermione let her mind wander as she rested in her mate's arms. She was not worried, exactly, but she understood Fenrir's fear about their child. Especially with the current turmoil in their world. They could leave wizarding Britain, but the thought of Voldemort winning the war made Hermione more than just a little queasy. She prayed it never came to that. Tears collected in her eyes as she thought there was even a chance of raising their child on the run. If they ran, they would always be running.
Fenrir seemed to notice her distress and held her tightly.
"We have to win this war, Fenrir."
"I know, mate." His hot breath on her neck calmed her. He sounded so sure of himself; part of her knew that he was not as confident as he sounded, but she did not allow herself to think on that, and instead let herself trust her Alpha.
"What are we going to do about Remus?" Hermione changed the subject, trying to think on something she might actually be able to influence more directly. Remus was a problem that had to be solved, and problem solving always seemed to soothe her. She would spend hours in the library poring over old texts trying to find the solutions to whatever trouble the Golden Trio had gotten themselves into every year. Remus, unfortunately, was not a problem that would find its solution in a book.
Fenrir snorted quietly, but it was a sound of frustration rather than a scoff. "Where do we even begin to start? He's too stubborn."
Hermione had been thinking about Remus more than she admitted, "I think we need Tonks' help. She seems to be the only one who can bully him into anything.
Fenrir growled in response, shutting down the idea that Lupin could even think of challenging him.
Hermione laughed quietly at the werewolf's actions. "I know you can too, I'm just not convinced it will work, Fenrir. He is always so petulant after you order him around."
"He's always better afterward," Fenrir grumbled with another growl.
"This is something he has to learn himself. It's going to take time…"
"He doesn't have time."
"We need Tonks," Hermione said again, more firmly this time.
Fenrir nodded, his nose tickling her neck as he moved it. "She can't make it worse. I can't get through to him; I never have. Not like the others…"
Hermione nodded in understanding. "I have a plan to get started, I think."
Fenrir listened to his mate intently as she began to lay out her plan to get the wayward Omega back on a healthy path. She seemed to have considered the whelp carefully. She was going to try to provoke him into using his instincts on his own. If he let loose on his own accord and didn't hurt anyone in the process, he may be one step closer to trusting himself. They didn't need him to trust them; not yet. First he had to trust himself.
Fenrir marveled at his mate and her insight into the smaller werewolf. What she suggested would probably work; in fact, it was close to his own theories about getting Lupin back into the pack, but with a little less Alpha in the catalyst.
"Fenrir?"
"Hmm?" he responded happily.
"What happened when you went to talk to Rodolphus? You didn't seem like yourself when you came back…"
Fenrir sighed; he really hadn't wanted to bring it up. The thought of the fear at the school made his nose twinge. He didn't want his mate to know about the part he played in it, let alone the terror her former schoolmates were facing even without his presence.
"Mate…" He started, "I went to Hogwarts." His jaw was tight as he watched the curiosity on her face turn into a frown, and then fade to apprehension.
"It's horrible, mate," he said before she could ask again. He shook his head at the memories, still disgusted. "They're like caged animals; the lot of them."
Her voice quiet, she breathed, "Why did it take you so long?"
Fenrir knew she did not want to hear the answer. He grimaced slightly. "Hermione…"
"What did you do, Fenrir?" Her eyes were filling with tears as she looked up at him.
"I scared them," he growled. "I swear there was nothing else. I think the Dark Lord was disappointed I didn't do more; but I won't chase something that's already defeated. Especially not after…" he trailed off, his heart clenching slightly.
His mate looked up at him with expectant eyes. "After what?"
"You." he said simply. "If I hadn't been able to protect you from that fate…" He laughed mirthlessly, "I may have killed the Death Eaters all myself. And not just because of instincts."
Hermione's eyes widened slightly at the simple statement. "I'd almost feel bad for any Death Eaters who got between you and I," she smiled fondly, "almost."
"There are a few who have it coming already," Fenrir growled. Bellatrix was going to die, and he did not need his promise to Rodolphus to hold onto that. He turned to Hermione, a new thought on his mind, "What do you know about Andromeda?"
A/N: Thank you guys so much for sticking with me through the dry spell. I love hearing all your reviews, they inspire me so much!
Also, if you're in the mood for more Death Eater centric fics, and also happen to be a patron of social media, Canimal, Kittenshift17, and Freya Ishtar have started a wonderful Facebook group called the Death Eater Express. Check it out!
