Title: The Lost Future

Disclaimer: I don't own anything

Author's note: The lyrics at the beginnong of the chapter are from Breaking the Habit by Linkin Park. Italics are memories.


Chapter Forty-Three: Unwanted Memories

Memories consume
like opening the wound,
I'm picking me apart again.

She had played him.

Chris stormed angrily through the ruins of San Francisco, his fury and pain blinding him to everything else around him.

She had played him.

She showed up at the Resistance with her pretty face and a sob story about her clan having been attacked by Wyatt's demons, and he fell for it. He taken her in, introduced her to everyone, showed her around the stronghold. He'd told her his thoughts and feelings, he told her his secrets. He gave her his heart, falling for her, and falling hard.

And she had played him.

"Chris!"

Chris barely even stopped to listen to the person shouting at him. He knew it was Patricia, his cousin had followed him since he had left the base after having learned of Bianca's betrayal. He could sense her, but he didn't slow down. He didn't want to talk to her, didn't want to talk to anyone.

How could he have been so stupid

"Chris, stop!" Ria called, chasing after her cousin. "Chris, please! Listen to me."

Chris spun around angrily. "Why? So you can tell me what an idiot I was for trusting her? You said all along that you thought there was something wrong with her, and I ignored it. I ignored you and she… she…" He bit his lip to keep from screaming in frustration.

He wanted to strangle her. He wanted to rip every hair out of her head. He wanted to hurt her like she had hurt him, wanted to tear her heart out and trample all over it.

Because, damn it, he had loved her.

And she used him.

"Chris, this wasn't your fault. There is no one here to blame but Bianca," Ria countered, spitting out the Phoenix's name with hatred.

Chris gave a hollow laugh. "I told her what she wanted to know and let her run back to Wyatt. He'll kill us all now, and it is completely my fault." And he orbed away, taking care to block his signal so that his cousin couldn't follow him.

"Chris? Chris, are you alright?"

Chris snapped back to the present, confused to see Wyatt leaning over him, a look of concern on his face. The brunette shook his head slowly, ridding himself of the unwanted thoughts, and muttered, "Yeah, I'm okay."

"You looked like you'd seen a ghost," Wyatt said softly, taking a seat next to Chris on the bed. They were in Chris' room in the Manor. Piper and Phoebe were still downstairs talking. Paige had managed to convince Mel to come back, but the young witch-lighter had locked herself in the basement and refused to speak to anyone. Pen was up in the attic, flipping through the Book of Shadows with Leo, trying to keep her mind off what had just happened. Jason had arrived moments ago, and a sobbing Prue had collapsed in his arms.

"Not a ghost," Chris replied. "More like a memory." Chris collapsed back on the bed and closed his eyes, feeling the tears prick. He drew a shaky breath as his mind wandered back to sight of Kyle's body, pale and lifeless. Well, the white-lighter technically wasn't alive even before the dark-lighter had shot him, but now… he looked so…

Wyatt reached out to place a hand on Chris' shoulder, but he shrugged it off and shoved himself back off the bed. "I'm going to check the Book," he said abruptly.

"Pen and Dad are looking at it," Wyatt objected. "You don't need to…"

"Yes, I do," Chris snapped. "I need to do something."

"Why not try grieving," Wyatt suggested. "Or talking? Mel's already shut herself off, and Aunt Paige won't talk to anyone either, we don't need you to…"

"I don't have anything to talk about," Chris replied. "Uncle Kyle is dead. And I'll grieve for him later. But right now we still have to stop the Source."

"Chris, don't do this," Wyatt protested angrily, placing a hand out to stop Chris from leaving the room. "Don't shut us out. This isn't you."

"Yes, it is!" Chris spat, shoving Wyatt's arm away again. "This is exactly who I am and I need to look at the Book."

"No, this is who the other Chris was," Piper said, appearing at the doorway to the room. "The other Chris would check the Book when ever he was upset, would stay tightlipped about everything, wouldn't share his feelings. Honey, you need to talk to us…"

"I am the other Chris, too!" Chris yelled. "Don't you get that? You can't just expect me to forget all those memories I saw, all the ones I am still remembering now!" He shoved his way past his brother and mother and stormed out of the room and up the stairs, leaving two stunned family members in his wake.

Reaching the attic door, he pushed it open and stepped into the room. Leo and Pen looked up at him expectantly, and as he stared at their faces he saw something else, another memory from another time.

"So this is all I was?" Chris asked, his voice catching in his throat as he stared at Bianca in shock and disbelief. His eyes traveled down to the athame in her hand, the one she was holding in front of her, prepared to throw at him. "A… target?"

"Yes," Bianca said coldly, but her hand shook as she clenched the athame and her breath came in uneven gasps.

"And when you kissed me? When you said you loved me? Was that all pretend as well?" Chris spat, stepping towards her, anger making him reckless.

"You were an assignment, Chris. Find you, use you, kill you. Nothing more," Bianca retorted.

"So that's it?" Chris asked in disbelief, still unwilling to let go of the woman he thought he loved.

Bianca looked up at him, her expression unreadable. "Yes, Chris. That's it." The Phoenix paused, looking away towards the East where the sun was rising. "That's it," she repeated, her voice softer.

Chris took a step back, hurt beyond words at Bianca's cold demeanor. He swallowed the painful lump in his throat and lashed out at her, using his telekinesis to throw her off her feet. Caught unawares, the Phoenix flew through the air, but managed to land easily in a crouch a few feet behind where she had been standing before. Chris glared at her, then orbed away, wanting to put as much distance in between himself and the woman he thought he had known.

If he had waited a minute longer, he would have seen the single tear that made its solitary way down Bianca's cheek.

"Chris? Son, are you okay?" Leo was standing in front of Chris, wearing exactly the same concerned expression on his face that Wyatt had worn only moments before. And Chris, suddenly realizing that he didn't want to stay in this house, didn't want to continually have to deal with people asking him if he was alright, orbed away.


Nathaniel orbed into the empty sunroom in the Manor and looked around. He spotted Phoebe sitting in the dining room, resting her head in her hands and propping her elbows up on the table. Approaching her slowly, he said, "Phoebe?"

She looked up, startled. Her eyes were rimmed with red, her face streaked with tears. She forced herself to greet the Elder with a choked, "Hey," before turning and staring back at the smooth table top, as though the polished wood would give her answers.

"I'm so sorry…" Nathaniel murmured, knowing his words were meaningless. What could he say to console this family? They had been through so much, and Kyle was just as much a part of the Halliwell clan as any of the sisters. How could he comfort them?

Phoebe gave a dark chuckle. "I'm sure you are," she replied. "Kyle was a great white-lighter." Her words were bitter, she remembered the numerous times that the Elders had called Kyle or Leo away from the family for hours on end because of some evil somewhere in the world that needed to be stopped.

"I'm sorry for your loss," Nathaniel said, trying to indicate that he thought of Kyle as more than just a white-lighter.

Phoebe looked up at him. "What are you doing here?" she asked at last. "You said once Mel was safely back you needed to check with the Elders."

"Yes…" Nathaniel paused. He didn't want to be the bearer of more bad news, but he knew he had to tell them. "The Tribunal came to a conclusion…"

Phoebe groaned and buried her head in her hands once again. "What did they decide?" she asked, already knowing the answer.

"They've requested a trial. You three are to report to them in two hours. I'm to take you there," Nathaniel said hesitantly, bracing himself for the explosion he knew would come.

And sure enough…

"Paige just lost her husband, Mel and Pen lost their father!" Phoebe cried, jumping to her feet. "We lost our brother-in-law and the Tribunal wants us to come to their stupid trial? You have got to be kidding me!"

"Phoebe…"

"No! NO! How dare they? After everything we have gone through to keep magic safe and protected, everything we have lost in this fight… How dare they?"

"We can't stop them," Nathaniel said quickly. "I wish we could, but we can't, Phoebe, we just can't." He reached out to place his hand on her shoulder but she flinched away from him and stepped backwards.

"No," she said again, this time in a quieter voice. "No!"

"If you don't go, they will take away your powers and we won't be able to stop the Source. He will end the world and then Kyle's death will have meant nothing! Is that what you want?" Nathaniel argued, knowing bringing Kyle into this discussion was a cheap trick. But he had to make them understand, they couldn't postpone this.

"Don't you dare bring him into this," Phoebe snarled. She turned and stalked away from the Elder and Nathaniel closed his eyes in frustration.

They were running out of time.


"…and I can't even talk to Chris," Prue finished, tears slipping down her cheeks. She and Jason were sitting on the bed in Piper and Leo's room. Jason had spoken to Phoebe for a few moments, but his soon-to-be ex-wife didn't seem to want to talk to him, and Prue had been hysterical, so he had decided to try to comfort his daughter instead.

"Why can't you talk to Chris?" Jason asked.

"Because I betrayed him," Prue explained in frustration. She jumped to her feet and began to pace back and forth across the floor of the room. "He's my family, my cousin, and I sold him out to Wyatt to save my own skin. Who does that? What kind of person does that to her own family?"

Jason, have finally understood that the reference was to a different Prue in a different timeline, said swiftly, "That wasn't you, Prue. That was someone else."

"It was me," Prue replied, wiping a few stray tears away. "It was me. I did it. I remember doing it, I remember how crushed Chris looked when he realized what I had done. I remember!"

"And the fact that you are so appalled by it now shows that you aren't that person anymore. Not in this timeline," Jason pointed out reasonably.

Prue looked over at him, shaking her head slowly. "Why did I do it then?" she whispered. "Why? How? I don't understand."

Jason stood up and reached out, taking Prue's hand and pulling her towards him. He hugged her tightly and said, "Things were different in that timeline, Prue. Everyone was different. You, Chris, Wyatt… You were living in a destroyed world where your greatest enemy was your own cousin. You can't judge that version of yourself based on this world because it is so different."

"I'm so scared, Dad," Prue murmured, her voice muffled slightly. "I'm so scared that I'll wake up find out that I really am that person and that I've betrayed everyone. I'm so scared…"

"I know," Jason said gently, running his hands through Prue's hair. "I know."

"You betrayed him," Bianca snarled as she backhanded Prue. "You could have gotten him killed, you almost did!"

Prue stumbled backwards and reached up to touch her lip, tasting blood in her mouth. There was very little in this broken world that scared Prue, but looking up into the dark eyes of the enraged Phoenix, she wondered suddenly if she was going to die that night.

Her temper flared. "You did, too! You betrayed all of us. I was trying to save the world, but when you sold the Resistance out to Wyatt, you were just trying to gain prestige," Prue spat.

"I never told Wyatt anything that I learned," Bianca countered, her face flushed with embarrassment and fury. "I never…"

"You wanted to," Prue interrupted. "You came to me on the stairs in that shopping mall pretending to be on my side. You convinced Chris that you could help him, you made him fall in love with you, and all you wanted was to turn him over to Wyatt so that you could…"

Bianca hit Prue again, and the witch fell to the ground.

"Shut up!" Bianca spat. "I screwed up, I know that. But I was willing to admit it when I realized that I was wrong, and I came back to you all and asked for forgiveness." She drew a sharp breath, remembering how much it had galled her pride to have to ask someone, anyone, to forgive her for being wrong. "I did it because I loved him and I cared about all of you."

"Yeah, right," Prue snapped, pulling herself back to her feet. "Or you just realized that Wyatt wasn't the great Lord you thought he was and so you came crawling back."

"I worked as a spy for you all, I saved you life on numerous occasions, and I risked everything to get Chris out of Wyatt's clutches when you sold him out," Bianca said in a softer, but no less angry, voice. "How could you do that to your own cousin?"

"Wyatt wouldn't have hurt him," Prue countered.

Bianca gave a hollow laugh. "If you really believe that, then you are as much a fool as you are a traitor," she replied, then shimmered away.

Prue stared at the spot where Bianca had stood, and wondered if the Phoenix was right.

"Prue?"

Prue looked up at her father's concerned eyes. "I was just thinking of one of the dreams I had," she said softly. "One I don't really want to remember…"


"When I first met you, when I realized that you were a witch, the only thing that went through my mind was that you could help me find the Avatars and vanquish them. And then I got to know, and you showed me that I had been holding on to my anger over my parents death for too long. I needed to move on with my life, because my parents wouldn't have wanted me to stay forever trapped in the memory of their deaths." Kyle paused for a moment and took a breath, looking out over the city at the distant rising sun. He and Paige were standing on a tower of the Golden Gate Bridge. It was cold, the air was damp with dew, and the wind blew wildly around them, but Kyle didn't notice. He was nervous, twisting his hands together and he called on all of his courage.

"Kyle…? What's wrong?" Paige murmured, stepping toward him. She could tell that he was worried about something, and it scared her. Ever since his death, she had felt as though a part of her was missing. When the Elders had finally agreed to allow Kyle the chance to visit Paige, and then eventually to date her, Paige had been ecstatic. If something was happening now, something that would take Kyle away from her… she didn't know what she would do.

"When the Avatars killed me, my only thought was that I loved you. When the Elders granted me a chance to be a white-lighter, my only thought was that maybe I would have the chance to see you again. When they finally agreed that I could date you… Paige, I was so… I never wanted to lose you. Ever."

Paige swallowed back her tears. Was he leaving her? "I don't want to lose you either? I want to stay with you forever," she replied.

"Really?" Kyle asked, his eyes boring into hers with a sudden intensity as though this question was the most important question in the world. "Do you really mean that?"

"Of course I do," Paige answered, completely bewildered.

Kyle reached hesitantly into his pocket and pulled out a small box. Paige's eyes widened as he opened it, revealing a simple silver band with a single diamond in the center. "Then will you marry me?" he asked, looking up at her face.

Paige's breath caught in her throat, and tears streamed down her face. Unable to even form coherent words, she just nodded, frantically, ecstatically.

Paige slammed her fist onto the basement door. "Mel, open the door!" she called. There was no answer from inside the room, but Paige knew her daughter was still there. "Mel, I'm giving you until the count of three. One… Two… Three."

Nothing.

Paige sighed and shook her head. "Oh, forget this," she muttered, and orbed past the closed door and into the room.

Mel was sitting on the floor at the far wall, her knees pulled into her chest. Her eyes were dry, and her face expressionless. She stared blankly ahead of her, not seeing anything.

"Mel?" Paige took a few steps forward, than crossed the room quickly to sit by her daughter. She brushed her own tears away and reached out tentatively. Her daughter did not back away from her touch, so she wrapped her arm around Mel's shoulders.

After a moment, Mel said, "I don't feel anything."

"What?" Paige asked, confused.

"He's dead. Dad is dead and I… I don't feel anything," Mel elaborated bitterly. She took a breath, then said, "I can't even cry."

"Oh, sweetheart," Paige whispered, "you're in shock."

Mel shrugged. "Why can't I grieve? Why can't I be sad?" she asked, her voice quiet and forlorn. "Why can't I be angry or upset or scared? I feel nothing."

Paige stroked her daughter's hair. "You will," she said softly. "Just let it all come out."

Mel turned dry eyes to her mother. "I wish I could," she said. "But there isn't anything inside of me to come out." She stared back down at her hands and let out a dark laugh. "What kind of daughter can't even cry when her father is murdered?"

Paige pressed her lips together, knowing there was nothing she could say that would help Mel right now. So she just wrapped her arm more tightly around her daughter's shoulders and sat there in silence, waiting.

Eventually the shock would go away, and then the tears would come.


The Seer stared at her pool for a moment, lost in thought. Although she had not foreseen the death of the white-lighter, she was pleased with it because it only helped to aid them in their plans. The Halliwells were distracted, and they would not come looking for the Hollow any time soon.

And yet… she was a little unnerved that she had been so oblivious to what was going to happen? Why had her pool not shown her the white-lighter's death? It was certainly an important event, and she should have had at least a clue that it could happen.

"The Hollow has been taken to the Citadel," the Source announced as he flamed into the cave. "It is almost time."

The Seer waved her hand over the pool, and the water showed her an image of the sky, inky black, and dotted with tiny white stars.

"It is almost time," she agreed.


Next Chapter: Sources of Evil

Due: Sun 6/18