A/N: This chapter is named after the song 'Better Off Without You' by Summer Camp. We're getting there guys. Honestly, I swear. I definitely don't have my fingers crossed behind my back right now. ;)

Chapter 41: Better Off Without You

"He doesn't want you, can't you see? He doesn't love you, why won't you listen to me?"

As it turned out, when Albus awoke the next morning, Scorpius seemed to be making a particularly concerted effort to ignore him, so much so that Albus didn't even see him until that evening at dinner. The day was not all lost, however, as Albus managed to walk for a full thirty seconds before he had to sit down; a clear sign that things were improving, and that it wouldn't be long now before he could regain his freedom and leave the house, which was beginning to feel more and more claustrophobic with every passing day.

It wasn't until now that he had truly realised just how much he valued his freedom. It was easier to forget at Hogwarts, where he had the relative freedom of the castle and the grounds all existing in a microcosm of the wider world, but here, in his home, where he had only the choice of several rooms and the admittedly minuscule garden, he felt trapped. Sometimes the rooms and the walls surrounding the garden reminded him unpleasantly of the few hours he had spent trapped by the Pureblood Knights, though he knew the comparison was unfair.

He had his family, and by extension his friends, but without Scorpius none of it felt quite right. He felt somewhat like a stranger in his own home, having to take the utmost care at all times to stay out of Scorpius' way, to avoid making eye contact when they sat opposite each other at the dining table no matter how much he longed to. It hurt; he couldn't deny that.

What with the lack of freedom and the abundance of time he had in which to sit around and do nothing in particular that was of any use, he had time to consider his feelings for Scorpius at every angle, to consider just when those feelings might have arisen, and why it had taken him quite so long to realise them.

Albus had no doubt at all that he had taken his friendship with Scorpius for granted almost from the get go. They hadn't had the easiest start, but it had become clear around the beginning of Fourth Year that they just couldn't stay away from each other. They had too much in common, yet were just different enough, that their friendship was natural, it was right; as if the stars had aligned just at the right time to bring them together.

But Albus had never considered any of that. He had just liked having somebody to talk to, somebody who understood him and the pressures of a legacy left behind from a generation before.

Then he remembered the time he had caught Scorpius crying in the bathroom, and that had been the day he realised that he might just have found his best friend. It was only now he was beginning to understand that that could have been the day he had found his soulmate, instead, but he had ruined it all, like he always seemed to do.

He thought back to the past two years, of stolen glances and holding hands and falling asleep together, and wondered just how he could have been so blind, of how he hadn't known then that he was head over heels, despite the fact that he quite clearly had been. Scorpius had always represented something slightly more than friendship to him, but he had always just considered that to be the fact that they were best friends; not this.

Part of him knew that he couldn't keep quiet about this, not anymore, even if it might mean losing Scorpius even more than he already had, because if there was the faintest, slightest chance that something might be salvageable between them, that Scorpius might somehow feel the same, that perhaps Lily was right and he really had just been scared when he said all those terrible things, then he had to try. Even if he failed, at least he knew for certain, at least he would no longer be doubting himself and his memories every second of the day.

Unfortunately, even trying was still proving to be an impossibility. Scorpius didn't have the same limitations that Albus had, and he and Rose were often away running errands for the Order, though not nearly on quite the same scale as the feat he and Scorpius had attempted and utterly failed at.

To follow the Muggle saying, he truly was stuck between a rock and a hard place.

In his desperation, he even considered telling Rose or Lily how he felt, but the very thought of their reactions, the plans they would try to make, their expressions, put him right off the idea. For now he would just have to keep trying, and maybe even keep failing, but it was better than moping around the house and feeling sorry for himself, as even his Uncle Ron had begun to take pity on him, and that was something that nobody needed.


Over the next few days, Albus was able to use his legs more and more, until one day he managed to walk around the entire house without even feeling a little pain in his legs. He had been so overjoyed that he had proceeded to run around the house a few more times, until he was so exhausted and in so much pain that he had to lie down on the sofa for the rest of the afternoon, but he didn't care. He was over the moon; he could have floated away entirely he was so happy, so relieved.

The next day, the entire family headed to the park to celebrate, and Albus didn't even feel a little sad as he left his wheelchair in his room and skipped downstairs to side-along Apparate with his father, who was practically beaming with pride.

After the incident a few days prior, Ginny had been keeping a very close watch on her husband, as had Hermione. There was a definite tension in the house, and so Albus was desperate to get out, just to relieve it a little. Even Ginny seemed thrilled by the prospect of getting out of the house and doing something that wasn't for the Order.

"You can't make me!" Scorpius' voice floated downstairs from the top of the hall, his tone decidedly angry.

"Your mother and I think it would be best," Draco replied, keeping a calm and level voice, "we have a lot to sort out here and it would be better for you to get some fresh air."

"But she was my grandma! Why can't I help?" He demanded. Downstairs, the family all pointedly ignored glancing up, but it was quite obvious that they were all eavesdropping. Albus could see where Scorpius was coming from; he too would want to stay and help, but he also knew that getting away from it all was often the best and the healthiest course of action, not that Scorpius would see his point of view.

"Because we don't want to burden you with this," Draco replied, his sigh obvious even from where Albus was standing, "because you're young and you deserve to spend a few hours at the park with your friends, Scorpius. We can handle this here, alright?"

"Fine!" Scorpius said as he turned and stomped down the stairs. Albus could see the tears in the corner of his eyes as he sniffed and said, "Well? Are we going or not?"

"Come on, let's go," Harry announced, before muttering under his breath, "before it's too late..."

They Apparated to a relatively secluded spot in the park, where they would be obscured by the trees. Thankfully, the Muggles were just as oblivious as always as the Potter family and co headed towards a nice spot out in the open for a picnic. It was that rare kind of sunny day where the sun was blazing down, and everything in the world just felt right.

"I'm so glad we came out here," Albus said, practically beaming as the picnic blanket was laid down and the food set out. This was what he expected his summer to be like, not holed up in that house, and he was thankful that his plans were coming to fruition at last.

"Me too," Lily said, grinning rather conspiratorially at Rose as she lay all spread out on the grass, tanning herself. Rose winked slyly at Lily, but Albus caught her, and he knew that something was up.

"What are you two up to?" Albus asked, raising an eyebrow as Rose had the audacity to look horrified at his question, "Oh, come on, it's you two, you're never not up to something..."

"Maybe you're just reading too much into all of this, Albus. It wouldn't be the first time," Rose grinned smugly, giving Albus' shoulder a quick shove as she glanced about herself, "Oh, hey, who's that?"

Albus followed her gaze to two figures who were clearly approaching them from a distance. His first instinct was to panic, assuming them to be enemies, but as they came ever closer, he realising that the two figures were holding hands, and were in fact very familiar to him. Once he was certain of who they were, he leapt to his feet and hurried over to them, as fast as his legs could take him.

"Marcus! Stella! What are you guys doing here?" He hugged them each in turn. It hadn't even been that long since he had last seen them, but he had been through hell and back, and the sight of two of his very best friends was the most comforting thing he could possibly have wished for there and then.

"Lily texted us this morning," Stella said, bouncing on her heels with the excitement of it all, "Saying you were going to be here later, and well, we couldn't possibly say no, could we?"

"Well, thanks!" Albus hugged Stella once again, "I really appreciate it. What have you guys been up to?"

"Oh, you know," Marcus waved his hand about in a vague gesture of nonchalance, "The usual. Lounging around, doing nothing, avoiding doing all the work the professors gave us over this summer."

Stella nodded in agreement, her expression solemn as she said, "We hear things haven't been quite so easy for you, though, Al..."

"Yeah, things have been kind of shit," Albus shrugged, "but I refuse to think any more about that today. Come on, come sit down."

"Ooh, is there food?" Stella instantly perked up and hurried over to sit herself down in between Rose and Lily, where the three of them were no doubt gossiping amongst themselves. Scorpius sat a little way away from the rest of the group, making daisy chains as he always did, but for once, Albus refused to let himself pay the other boy any mind at all.

"You know, if you want, I can tell you all about my trip to Brazil last week," Marcus said as they joined the girls on the grass and pulled a few plates over, "if you don't want to talk about the other stuff."

"That would be great," Albus thanked him, "Spare no detail, though. I want to know what you ate for every meal, and all of the puns your uncles no doubt told you."

"Okay, but they don't translate too well into English..."

All in all, the afternoon got off to a fantastic start. Once Marcus had finished talking about his holiday, the five of them gossiped idly, making certain not to stray too close to topics that might have been dangerous, such as Scorpius, who had pulled out a book and was paying it close attention in between bites of sandwich. Not that Albus was paying him any attention, of course. He knew better than to put himself through that.

Marcus and Stella talked avidly about the holiday they were going to be taking later in the summer to Paris, and how they had both met each other's parents, and they all approved, and wasn't love absolutely the most wonderful thing in the world? Albus couldn't help but feel just a little bitter, but they were his best friends, and they deserved no less than the utmost happiness in the world, and he was just glad that they had managed to find that in each other.

Sometime later in the afternoon, dark clouds began to roll across the sky, but Albus paid them no mind, as they were still a way away. Suddenly his mother rushed over, pulling them all to their feet.

"We have to go, quickly," She hissed, shoving the picnic blanket roughly into her bag and gesturing for them all to follow her back into the trees where they had first Apparated to the park.

"Those clouds are miles away, we're fine for a little while," Albus insisted, trying to hang back.

"It's not the clouds," Ginny replied, fixing him with a serious expression. Suddenly he understood, and nodded, "It's just to be on the safe side, your father thinks he saw… Something. Always better safe than sorry."

"Of course," Albus followed after her, turning to his friends as he did so, "I'm sorry about all of this. It's kind of a given nowadays that nothing good can ever last for long."

"We get it, Al," Stella said, taking Marcus' hand, "We'd better be going anyway, let us know when you get home safe, alright?"

With a crack, the two of them were gone, and in seconds, Albus had grabbed his mother's hand, and the pair of them Apparated into the kitchen, along with the rest of the family. Harry came last, still glancing about himself cautiously as he arrived, his stance defensive.

"I'm so sorry about all of this," He said to Albus once they had ascertained that everybody was safe, "but I was right. Just as you Apparated, spells started being fired. We got out of there just in time."

"How did they find us?" Albus asked, feeling his hands tremble at his side.

Harry simply shook his head, which did little to reassure him, "I'm afraid I just don't know, but I doubt we'll be going on any more excursions any time soon. I'm sorry, Albus. I know how much you wanted this."

"It's alright, Dad," Albus said brightly, convinced that if he acted confident about it all that he might perhaps feel confident too, "it was good while it lasted. Thank you, for making it possible."

"No problem. Maybe one day..." He trailed off, sighing before rushing off to make sure that everybody else was alright.

Feeling suddenly lethargic, his legs aching, Albus headed back upstairs, hoping to sleep off a little of the weariness and disappointment that he felt. When he got to his room, however, Scorpius was in there, still with his book in hand, and Albus almost considered grabbing something random from his shelf and leaving again, but he decided that now was the time, more than ever, to talk to him.

"Hi," He began, taking a seat at the edge of the bed. Scorpius glanced up briefly, his expression almost wary, before he turned back to his book. Albus watched him carefully and couldn't help but notice the way his eyes scanned up and down but he never actually turned the page, meaning Albus' presence was distracting him from his book. Good.

"Like I've said a thousand times, you can ignore me all you want, but… I'm not going to give up." Albus stated, leaning forwards ever so slightly. Scorpius continued intently reading the same page over and over, before he sighed and flung the book onto the bed. He rose to his feet and faced Albus, raising his eyebrow.

"Why?" He asked. Albus' breath caught in his throat; could this be it? His chance to tell Scorpius how he felt? But, oh Merlin, his palms were sweating, and he wasn't ready, and he had a whole speech planned out in his head but it had gone, along with the rest of his coherent thoughts, apparently.

"Why?" Albus repeated. Scorpius scoffed and rolled his eyes, but eventually he nodded, once Albus clarified, "Why am I not going to give up? Because – because, Scorpius, we were best friends! For two years!"

"Were being the operative word here," Scorpius stated, before turning to the door. Unwilling to let this go, Albus used his wandless magic to slam the door shut, making certain that Scorpius couldn't get away. He was probably taking things a little too far, but Scorpius had really left him with absolutely no other option, "What the fuck?"

"I'm not going to let you keep avoiding me," Albus said, "It's been almost two months since we… Stopped talking, and I still don't know why."

"I think I already explained myself well enough," Scorpius said. As casually as possible, he tested the doorknob, grimacing when it didn't shift even an inch. Albus couldn't help but smirk.

"Actually, I don't think you did," Albus said, getting to his feet. He had made his mind up; perhaps he wasn't yet able to adequately and eloquently describe his feelings, but he could still give Scorpius a piece of his mind, "These past two months, I've been tiptoeing around you, making sure to keep out of your way, with no idea why. And you really have no idea how fucking much it hurts, do you? You just stopped caring, with no reason or explanation! Which, when you think about it, was pretty fucking shitty of you, Scorpius!"

"What do you want me to say?" Scorpius asked, tensing his fists at his side, "I gave you enough reasons, I think. This whole friendship thing between us just didn't feel right to me anymore."

"How?" Albus demanded, "Maybe I was just delusional, but I thought things were going fine! Sure, we had our arguments, we had our rough patches but… That's just friendship. Those things happen. It doesn't have to mean the end of it all!"

"Yeah? Well, this time it did!" Scorpius' voice was rising, and Albus couldn't help but wince at the harshness in his tone, "It was just too many arguments and too much awkwardness all compounded into one, and I just couldn't take it any more. This, right now, isn't exactly bringing back many rosy memories."

"But there were good times!" Albus insisted, "Surely those outweigh the bad?"

"I tried, Albus, alright?" Scorpius shook his head and went to go and sit back down on his bed, as it was obvious that he wasn't going anywhere else anytime soon, "I tried to make the good outweigh the bad, but it just felt forced, and I just couldn't put myself through that anymore."

"Really?" Albus took a step forwards towards him, "And you're sure it had nothing to do with the rumours? With what Mairi said to you?"

"What rumours?" Scorpius hissed, "What the hell do you mean?"

"Don't act like you don't know!" Scorpius' question elicited a dry, humourless laugh from Albus, one he didn't even bother to try and disguise. If they were really getting into this right now, then he was going to make sure he was the one pulling all the punches, "You know people like to blab at Hogwarts, and gossip spreads like wildfire at Hogwarts. Nobody minded telling me what Mairi said, that you love me -"

"Shut up!" Scorpius got to his feet and before Albus knew what the hell was happening, he had shoved Albus against the wall, and was punching at the door, as if he could simply fight his way out of all of his problems. Albus hit the wall with a thud, though thankfully Scorpius hadn't pushed him too hard. Still, he felt tears well in his eyes at the betrayal he felt, that Scorpius would ever even consider doing something like that to him.

"What the fuck is your problem?" Albus shouted as he straightened himself out, rubbing at the sore spot on his arm and feeling the tears burning at the corner of his eyes, hot and angry, "You're really so afraid of even the possibility of loving me that you'd pull a stupid stunt like that? That's messed up, you know! Maybe we really are better off without each other! Maybe I don't want to be friends with someone who thinks like that!"

"Good riddance," Scorpius muttered, "Now open the damn door before I tear it down."

Albus didn't mind obliging this time. He released his magic as he dropped back onto his bed, burying his head into his hands and wishing desperately that something in his life would just go to plan, because he really wasn't sure how much more of Scorpius he could handle, how much he could utterly detest him while also being irrevocably in love with him. He was tired and he was exhausted and everything was just too much all of a sudden.

"Look, I'm sorry, alright?" Scorpius' voice cut through all of the babble in Albus' mind, and though his tone wasn't at all sincere, he appreciate the effort he was making, "I never meant to shove you, I just – I saw red, and that's no excuse, and I'm terrible and, well, I'm sorry."

"You're right, it's no excuse," Albus said bitterly, rubbing at his eyes with his sleeves, which were fairly damp already, "I knew you hated me but I never thought you'd resort to physical violence."

"I didn't mean to!" Scorpius insisted, "Which, yes, is no excuse. I'm the worst."

"Pretty tempted to agree with you," Albus said, sighing, "but whatever. I'm a decent person, so I'll forgive you. But if you do it again, just remember that Mum promised me she'd teach me that bat bogey hex of hers one day, and I have no more qualms about making you my first victim."

Scorpius winced, which made Albus just a little more thrilled than he should have been. Before Scorpius had another chance to escape, he spoke again.

"I just wish you could have found a way to make things work," Albus said. When Scorpius rolled his eyes and turned around to leave again, Albus fixed him with a glare that kept him in place, "because, damn it, I miss you, alright? I miss your friendship. Is there really no way to make things work?"

Scorpius paused, furrowing his brow. For a few moments there was nothing but silence, heavy and foreboding in the room, but Scorpius didn't try and bolt or anything, for which Albus was grateful.

"I don't know, maybe, maybe one day," Scorpius shrugged, his posture stiff and unnatural like he was trying to hard to keep his composure, "but just… Just give it some time, alright? I was pissed off then, and I'm still pissed off now, but yeah, maybe. Don't ask me again."

"Fine, I won't," Albus said, fighting hard to keep the grin off his face. He couldn't help it; he practically beamed.

"Why are you smiling like that?" Scorpius asked warily.

"Because we're going to be friends again," Albus said with as much confidence as he could muster. And his heart truly did feel lighter at the very prospect of it. He had managed to get through to Scorpius, even if was Scorpius' own stupid fault for shoving him that made him realise that the two of them still had a chance, even if it was just as friends, even if that was all it was ever going to be, because that was always going to be enough for Albus, no matter how much he might have hoped for more.

"I wouldn't count on it," Scorpius murmured in response, "Now, if you don't mind, I have to sort through things with my parents. These past few days have been hard, okay? So… Leave me alone."

"Sure," Albus agreed amicably, "You'll be alright?"

"Of course," Scorpius responded, as if the very thought of anything to the contrary offended him greatly. He sighed once more, "Thank you for asking. For caring. But don't read too much into this."

"I wouldn't count on it," Albus responded, chuckling. Scorpius just glared at him, and then he was gone, but he left Albus behind in a room that felt far more welcoming than it had done in weeks. If he had known that getting through to Scorpius so quickly would be this easy, he would have done it long ago.

Now they only had to become friends once more, and hopefully the rest would follow on from there.

A/N: Okay firstly I would like to apologise for how relatively short this chapter is. Everything that I wanted to happen had already happened so... yeah. Also sorry about the angst at the end there, I just... I love it too much, almost as much as I love making you all suffer. :)

Next: Albus tells Rose and Lily how he feels, which goes down about as well as expected.