52
Ianto heard the screaming first, rising from the chair as it drew close rand everyone in the town meeting poured out into the street as the huge green blob grew closer, Ton leaning out of it screaming like he was being murdered as Eugene pushed, James chasing them yelling at his husband to slow down.
"What. The. Fuck" Ianto said in uncharacteristic horror.
They roared past and Ianto turned to watch it go around a corner with Eugene hanging on for dear life as it took him off his feet.
"Bloody Mary on her rag!" James spluttered as he drew near and stopped, clasping his knees as he leaned over trying to catch his breath, "Silly bastard will have a coronary!"
"Dad?"
"Er, hello Teddy" the grey haired man smiled, his hawk like features looking furtive as he edged towards the corner. "Snow plough did a lovely job. Was this Herb's work?"
"Dad!"
"Well. You know your Taddy. It was a website thing, started out he was looking for a wee buggy for Neve. Then ..er…we found a link to this website that makes big ones" James cringed as his son's glare told him he was aware of such websites and why a grown man might like a adult sized buggy, "Er, I didn't know until it arrived that he'd added it to the virtual cart. Honest darling."
"Dad. Regardless of what the fucking thing cost, Ton is far too big to be …."
It roared past going on the other direction, this time with Babs in it as well, clinging to Ton as she added to the siren screams.
Right. Of course.
"For Ton, was it?" Ianto turned slowly to glare at his father as in the distance it mowed down some pretty potted flowers outside a residence.
"Well, it is quite large" James slumped, defeated by a stare he knew so well, "The monster buggy is too small now, the twins have it. You know he spoils her. Of all the children, you know she is his sweetie. Of course he worked out that they would both fit no problem."
"Goddess on a donkey" Ianto said in wonderment as it came towards them once more, this time with a terrified looking Eugene inside as Jack hollered at them to get out of the way, the kids racing along with the dogs as Babbit fell over laughing and struggled to get up again.
"Oops?" James offered.
"You know you will be expected to have a go" Ianto huffed, "Buggered if I'm going to get in it. I don't' trust a bloody one of you not to give me more grey hair going down ….oh shit."
Jack tripped at the top of the hill and Eugene screamed as the buggy picked up speed, his hair whipping back along with the new green scarf purchased especially to match his beloved's ride and as it raced past, overtaking a tractor, Ianto turned back to his father.
"I know how hard it is to control one, I have one of my own but seriously Daddy. Look at him!"
They turned to look at the buggy as it perched in the hedgerow, wheels still spinning and looking like a big green Pac Man trying to eat the greenery as Eugene laughed and screamed inside the hedge that he was stuck.
"Well, we sure did pick them" James agreed as Jack reached out to pull the buggy out, overcompensating for the weight and not only puling it onto himself but then releasing it to roll back over him and sedately back towards Ianto.
Babs finally got hold of it and she stood with one hand on it as she berated them, telling them that if there was a scratch on it they were polishing it with their bloody tooth brushes.
James and Ianto looked at each other with matching frowns as they mouthed 'toothbrushes' as each other and then gave in, laughing as the scene.
As Grub managed to clamber in and bark for a turn Ianto swung and went back inside to finish the paperwork.
Bloody mad the lot of them.
