Chapter 56: the difference between staying and leaving
Grace POV
Loki's leaving was inevitable. The moment he had a chance he would leave Earth and never look back. But what I didn't understand was why he came to me to talk about it. Did he wish me hurt? Grief? No. I was being petty, it was only one lie and Loki lies all the time.
But never to me, I thought.
All those deep nagging feelings in my head and stomach were becoming painful. I have read about unrequited love, the pain, the grief. I always thought poets and writers were over-exaggerating details and making it up. But now I realised they weren't. I refused to leave my room until it was dark, I missed the Asgardians leaving as Tony told me as I entered the common room. I was fed up of giving it it's longer and more exhausting name.
"Our outer world guests have disappeared then?" I asked rhetorically, I knew the answer already.
"Of course," Steve replied but as I walked out onto the extended balcony, how I normally spend my evenings, I heard him mutter, "just guest."
I brushed it off and pretended to not hear it as I stepped out side the sheltering warmth into a mild evening breeze. It was a little chillier than I imagined so I wrapped my arms around myself as I walked down the dimly lit path to the very edge so I could gaze down at the busy streets below. I looked down at all the bright lights and people going about their nightly activities, never stopping, or pausing. I smiled to myself for no reason as I pondered a question in my head, unfortunately it slipped out my mouth as well.
"What would happen if I jumped?" I whispered to myself, thinking I was alone, I could not hear any footsteps behind me.
"The world would be dimmer," a voice answered behind me. A voice too easy for me to recognise, but my head refused to believe it, "plus, I don't think the people of New York would thank you for your splatter art, no matter how beautiful would be." There was only one other person who had a silver tongue like that.
I whipped around to find him standing there, with his classic smirk and smug expression on his face. His hair was still as black as a raven's feather and he was still dressed in his Asgardian clothes.
"H..how? Why?" I stammered, my brain not able to process sensible words, let alone entire sentences.
"I stayed," he replied.
Loki POV
**Flashback**
"Is this what you want?" Thor asked me.
I considered my answer for a while, I had to be sure. My pivotal moment was a question. Do I stay or do I go? It was a simple enough question but considering all the context, it made my answer unable to be 100% sure.
"No. I wish to stay," I replied hesitantly. I looked up at mother's confused expression, "As torturous as it is being here, I must stay."
"But why, Loki? You allowed home and will be welcomed with home arms," Mother protested.
"Mother I highly doubt Odin's arms will be open when I return, chances are they will be folded across his chest in defiance," I joked. Thor rolled his eyes.
"Loki, didn't Grace reject you?" Thor asked.
"Of course," I replied, "but she makes me a better man whether she is in love with me or not. I know, for a fact, that my love for her will never die out. I find that comfort enough to stay."
They both nodded in agreement but refused to say anything.
"Besides," I continued, breaking the awkward silence forming between us, "I'm going to need my big brother and Grace around to deflate my ego when it gets too big for Stark tower."
"Now, that is undeniably true!" Thor chuckled. Mother just smiled and wrapped her arms around me.
"I have to go now and alert Odin to your choice," she explained.
"Then we shall see you out!" I announced. This earned a bright smile.
We walked out to the overlaying balcony as the sun began to set. Mother stopped in the centre of the circle at the end and turned to face us.
"I am so proud of you both," she said, smiling sweetly, "my sons."
"Farewell, mother," I replied. She looked up into the dimming sky.
"Heimdall, I'm ready," she said before the bright light shot down from the clouds and she was gone.
"So you are staying then?" I turned around to see Captain Rogers was the speaker.
"Yes," I replied simply. He nodded his head and went back inside.
"What are you going to do now brother?" Thor asked.
"Wait until Grace comes out, then most likely explain my choice. I'll be in my chambers, Let me know when she has emerged from her room," I told Thor before walking to my room and waiting patiently with a book that mother had left for me...
** End of flashback**
"Why did you stay?" she asked, her voice cracking with emotion.
"Because..." I searched for words to cover the truth but the truth was better blunt, no matter how painful, "you make me a better man, even if you rejected me. I understand your decision"
"Wha-"
"And as painful as it is to be in a room with you now with so much that has happened between us, I could not part with you and-"
"Loki, I-"
"Please, don't interrupt. I need to say this...I stayed for you, only to be close to you no matter how far you push me away, I will accept it but I will always come back to you with hope. And I kno-"
"LOKI!" She exploded. I stopped immediately. She slowly moved towards me where I began to see the beginning of glistening tears form in her eyes. She sighed and looked at me right in the eye with confusion. "At what time did I ever reject you?"
"E...earlier today after my mother arrived with the news," I replied matter-of-factly.
"I thought it was inevitable that you were leaving, I was just making sure you didn't have any doubts," She answered quietly.
"So you didn't want me to leave?" I continued. She didn't answer straight away.
"Why did you lie to me?" She said slowly and carefully.
"Lie?"
"Yes, Loki. You lied to me. Right after," she sighed before continuing and her eyes immediately dropped to the ground, "Thanos was out of your looked me in the eye and lied to me."
"Grace I never lied w-"
"I kissed you!" she interrupted loudly, looking straight into my eyes before going quiet again, "when Thanos took over your body, I kissed you. The next day you said you didn't remember a thing but...there was something in your eyes that I knew you were lying."
"Grace I-"
"I get that you wouldn't want me kissing you as I was one of your maids, not even meant to be serving at the dinner table!"
"Gra-"
"And, of course, you are the highly respected, royal Prince Loki who could never be seen doing such an awful thing with a maid. I've often wondered how disgusted you felt. The shame I burdened you with! Ho-"
"GRACE!" I shouted, cutting her off.
"What!"
"I haven't stopped thinking about that kiss for the past three days. Even more surprisingly, I haven't stopped thinking about you since the moment I met you!" my voice gradually gained volume as I made sure to look directly into Grace's eyes.
"Then why did you-"
"I was full of doubt. Doubt that you treated it like another mission, doubt that you had any matter of feelings towards me at all! But this...discussion...has made me realise that I was horribly wrong to doubt you," her eyes had averted to the floor again as though to avoid my words. I slowly began to take careful steps towards her. "Grace, I have the strongest feelings towards you that makes my heart swell with joy when I see you and hurt like hell when you take no notice of me or you are with some other man. When I first arrived, I thought you were with the soldier and the jealousy nearly tore me apart."
Grace POV
I could barely believe my ears. I had heard him walk closer towards me but I refused to look up from the ground as I new the minute I looked into his deep, sorrowful, green eyes I would be lost.
"I love you, Grace," he said slowly. I let every word soak into my head before actually realising what he had said.
I could feel his breath on my neck and it was beginning to make all the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. I turned around slowly but still did not look up.
"Forgive me, if I do not believe you," I replied. Why did I say that? What was I thinking? I heard him begin to walk away, back towards the house.
A single tear trickled down my cheek as his footsteps became fainter and fainter. In my heart I knew I would regret saying that for the rest of eternity. But then out of the silence...
"Do you know what my problem was last time, Grace?" Loki asked. I hoped it was rhetorical as I did not reply. After a couple of seconds he broke the silence a second time, "I let go too easily. I refused to fight you."
Then his footsteps became closer, louder and more determined as I looked up to find him walking back up to me at a brisk pace.
"Wha-" my lips posed a question but it never made it out as he cupped my face firmly but with a certain gentleness to it and brought his lips strongly down on mine. I felt a tidal wave of his emotion flow into me and I closed my eyes and returned the pressure.
We didn't break for, what I assumed to be, a couple of minutes. But it was a blissful blur of hands everywhere and that deja vu-ish immense kissing. When we finally broke for air our hands grasped onto each other - never wanting to let go.
"About what I said just before," I said smiling. I could not contain it - I was so happy. "I'm sorry, it's taking all my self-control not to burst out in a happy giggle right now!" Loki just chuckled, pressing his forehead against mine. I returned the force and closed my eyes, still with a silly grin plastered on my face.
"I'm glad I stayed," he said after a couple of tension-free seconds.
"Me too," I sighed, "I'm so sorry about what I said just before you - you know - kissed me. I have no idea what I was thinking."
"If it's any consolation, my darling, neither do I," he replied.
"That's not making me feel any better!" I laughed, breaking away from him. I immediately felt cold and...unprotected. Loki outstretched his hands towards me. I looked at them sheepishly before placing mine in the open palms.
He lead me through the crowded living room where there were, most likely, confused glances and whispers but I didn't notice a thing. We eventually made it to Loki's room and lead me inside. He closed the door and his lips connected with mine again. This time it was more passionate, more desperate as I felt his hands begin to roam all over my body. I moved my hands up his firm body to the back of his neck where I entwined my fingers in his soft, dark hair and pulled his head further down onto mine.
He lifted me over to the bed and we never once let go of each other, through the whole entire night.
Author's note: No lemons, I would rather keep this a T rating but...what do you think? I really want to hear at least one review! But no flames, just constructive criticism!
DISCLAIMER! I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING!
