-I keep meaning to put this at the bottom of the chapters but I always forget so since I remembered, I'll write it here. Ok: I had to do a lot of research for these last few chapters in order to write about Fiona's feelings, actions... what Bobby says, and how Declan and Holly J respond to all of this. So it's kind of informational if you think about it. I've learned a lot.-

She woke up, from a nightmare, of course, it was the only way she ever woke up anymore. Declan wasn't awake this time, the whole side of the pillow and some of Declan's shirt were wet with tears. Fiona wiped her eyes and looked around. Holly J was asleep beside Declan, on the other side. Fiona got on the computer and went to her twitter... and all the other useless websites that she used to obsess over. Facerange... myroom. All of the things on it were filled with old news. Like "Fiona Coyne is 'in a relationship' with Bobby Beckonridge"

She quickly changed it to 'Single'. She knew she'd never be getting on these websites again but she didn't want people to even think she was with him. She deleted Bobby fromm her friend list and left the sites.

She tried to play internet games but she kept getting distracted. She shut it off and walked downstairs and flipped on the TV, and quickly turned it off. Nothing was ever on anyway.

She sat on the couch and wondered what Declan thought about her. Did he think the same of her... as he always did? Or, did he think that she was weaker now, and needed his help?

She knew that either way, Declan cared about her. The thought of Declan caring about her made her want to go upstairs and hug him. Her eyes shifted to the hole in the wall. It was made by her elbow when Bobby had pushed her up against the wall. She couldn't really see the hole. It had caused her trouble... flashbacks... and so Declan had put a picture over it, but the picture was oddly placed, and Fiona knew what was under it. She got up and walked into the kitchen. It hurt to move and she was sore all over.

She got herself some ice and set it on the counter. Then she began to think about if there had never been a 'Bobby'.

She could have had a boyfriend who didn't make her do things she didn't want to do. One who said "It's ok, we don't have to have sex." and of course, one who said that, and also wasn't gay.

She didn't know of anyone who fit that description, except for Logan of course. She had almost trusted him, and he told Declan to come and get her, and then Bobby came and got her again. Everyone told her it wasn't her fault. It wasn't Declan's. It had to be Logan's then. It didn't seem like it was... but it had to be someone's fault. And she didn't think it was Bobby's. She hated him but maybe he was confused.

Afterwards, Bobby had asked her if she liked it, and she didn't answer. Maybe he had thought she would like it. She probably did somehing wrong. Something to make him think she wanted to do such a thing.

Maybe he thought that she was wearing something slutty. Those had been short shorts... she would wear them around Declan... so they weren't too short. Officer Gretchan probably laughed when she saw them and said 'No wonder'.

Fiona was just about to go get her ice before Holly J walked into the kitchen and came back with the glass of half-melted ice. "Thought I'd get it for you, since I saw it in there." Holly J said, knowing just how bad Fiona's sores were.

"Thank you." Fiona said, taking the glass of water, sipping it and setting it back down.

"Something bothering you?" Holly J asked.

"Do you think Bobby would have thought I wanted to do that?" she asked.

"No. Why? Do you?"

"Maybe..." Fiona began.

"Why?" Holly J asked.

"I was wearing short shorts."

"So? You should be able to wear whatever you want in your own house, plus, I know those shorts, and they are not that short, you were even wearing your leggins under them." Holly J said.

"The see-through ones." Fiona said quietly, trying to fight back tears that were forming.

"It doesn't matter. He beat you up and then expected you... of all people, to want to have sex with him? I know he's stupid but not that stupid, Fi." Holly J said.

Fiona didn't say anything and Holly J sat down beside her.

"If he knew you at all, he'd know you thought sex was discusting... so he'd obviously know you didn't want to do it. And two times? After he beat you up? Fiona, you can't honestly think he would have any confusion at all as to whether or not you wanted to do that."

"I obviously did something wrong!" Fiona said.

"What do you mean?" Holly J asked, how her full attention was on Fiona.

"Well this happened to me. I had to have done something wrong!" Fiona said, her tears starting to spill.

Holly J put an arm around her friend.

"No... life doesn't work like that." she whispered.

"Why the hell not?" Fiona asked trembling.

"I don't know." Holly J replied, letting Fiona lean against her.

"Declan's worried that your not eating." Holly J said after a few minutes of Fiona's crying.
"I am eating." Fiona insisted.
"When?" Holly J asked, she was also concerned about it.

"A few days ago... I ate something. I ate some toast."

"A few days ago." Holly J repeted.

"Yeah..."
"Declan was there, you only ate one bite." Holly J insisted.

"Do you want me to eat now?" Fiona asked sarcastically, and annoyed.

"Yes."

Fiona got up and winced with pain as she walked, bruises on her thighs and legs... they hurt a lot when she walked.

"Sit back down, I'll bring you something." Holly J said.

Fiona sat back down. She was hoping to just walk into the kitchen and pretend to eat something. Why eat when you aren't at all hungry?

Holly J came back with some of Fiona's favorite foods, cheesecake, sushi... Fiona ate some sushi and then stared at Holly J.

"Eat more of it, Fiona." Holly J said.

Fiona ate some cheesecake, two bites. Declan came down right around then and smiled at Holly J.

"How do you do it?" he asked.

Holly J rolled her eyes and urged Fiona to eat more.

She felt like a small child. She took another bite and Holly J tried to get her to eat more, but when she wouldn't, Holly J took the food and put it in the fridge.

Fiona drank some of her water, sushi and cheesecake, they didn't taste as good as they used to.

Declan sat down beside her.

"How long have you been awake?" he asked.

"An hour or so."

"How are you?"

"Fine." Fiona answered. She didn't feel like talking after being forced to shove food down her throat.

"We had to make you eat, Fi... I know it's probably annoying."

Fiona looked at him. Sometimes it seemed like he almost understood her. He used to always understand her completely. Always. Then Holly J... and he'd still understand her. And then, Bobby, now he only half understood.

"Are you going to go to that counsaling thing?" Declan asked.

"What? ...no." Fiona began.

"Why not? You might as well try it."

"No." Fiona said.

"Are you sure?" Declan asked.

"I'm not going, Declan!" Fiona said, she got up a moved to the coffee table.

Declan was quiet for a few seconds.

"Sorry, Fi, I didn't mean to pressure you in to anything. I was just making sure." Declan said.

Fiona looked up, "I know, Decs. It's just..." she stopped.

"Just what?"

"Nothing..." Fiona whispered.

Declan didn't want to make her feel sad again, so he said "If you feel like talking... I'm here."

Fiona didn't say anything.

"Something's bothering you, sis, I can tell." Declan said.

Fiona stared at him. "No kidding?" she asked.

"Something is bothering you more than usual." Declan stated.

"I'm a slut." Fiona whispered. Declan didn't understand her. She was too quiet.

"What, Fi?" Declan asked.
"I'm a slut." she said louder.

"Fiona, no you're not. You've never even had sex before." Declan said.

Fiona stared at him in disbelief. Had he forgotten?

"That wasn't sex, Fiona. That was nothing near sex."

"I dressed like a slut and he thought that I wanted it. I don't care what you... or Holly J said... he thought I wanted it." Fiona said, now crying.

"You said you didn't, Fi. That should be enough."

"I was crying... so he didn't hear me." Fiona whispered.

"Well, you were crying that should be enough, Fiona."

"But that was because he just punched me so maybe he thought..."

Declan walked over to her and sat on the table beside her.

"No matter what you reasons are, it was his fault. He knew you didn't want to. He knows you hate him. He knows that you never wanted to have sex. He knows everything. It's no one's fault but his. Don't you understand?" There was desperation in Declan's voice.

"I'm trying to." Fiona whispered.

There was a three minute silence.

"Logan wants to talk to you more." Declan said.

"He doesn't really like me." Fiona whispered.

"He told me that you were the sweetest, most beautiful, best thing that had ever happened to him." Declan told her.

Fiona's face half-lit up, "He said that about me?"

"Yes, he did. You were asleep, so it wasn't just to charm you. He meant it."

Fiona smiled a small smile.

"He said that when you told him what happened he didn't believe it. He didn't know how someone could hurt you. He cares a lot about you."

Fiona was silent.

"We should invite him to dinner or something." Declan suggested.

"Maybe." Fiona said.

"I think I will." Declan replied, getting up.

Fiona sat on the coffee table, and tried to understand everything that Declan had been telling her.