The Characters of Inuyasha (manga and anime) belong to Takahashi-san

The Journey Home – Chapter Fifty Five


The sounds of movement along the grass, was what woke Miroku from his restless sleep. With weary, tired eyes he surveyed his surroundings and found an oddly shaped figure hidden by the shadows, gradually making its way to their campsite. Hidden from view, by Kirara who had transformed to its larger self, he watched in silence at what looked like silhouettes of Inuyasha carrying the prone miko, with as much care and quietness as he could display when they were alone. They stopped beside Kagome's sleeping bag, where she was carefully placed upon the bedding, and then covered with the blanket. Inuyasha sat down next to her sleeping form, leaning his forehead against hers, whispering things that were inaudible to the houshi's ears.

Inuyasha… I'm glad you have her back…

He knew in all sincerity that this was true. The group had been separated by one, hostile misunderstanding, and its significance was one Miroku would not want, or be willing to discover. For years they had lived apart from each other's lives, only looking to the fragments of their future, yet turning their heads whenever they saw something, reminding them of that fateful day, when everything went so horribly wrong.

Miroku had certainly felt this.

Before he had met with any of his companions, when he was a much younger houshi, he spent much of his time as a lone spiritual soul, travelling aimlessly around the country-side, offering what he could from his teachings of his profession. And if a beautiful woman was present, something extra, of course. There was no doubt that Miroku enjoyed what he did, it was the life he knew. Certainly the threat of his kazaana widening its destructive wounds from the very palm of his hand, and the thought of the demonic hanyou still at large, smirking at his plight, could not be ignored or go unnoticed without punishment. At least he knew that he was alone in this fight, no one had to be involved, and no one would get hurt because of him. It was a burden he was glad to endure, until his premature death, or when the curse finally consumed him.

It was not until he met with everyone else, Miroku began to have a different opinion about himself and his life. In the beginning, he was wary around them, not wanting to let himself become too familiar with the group. Perhaps everyone had felt the same when they first got together, Inuyasha growing up alone in the world, Shippou who had just lost his parents, and Sango, poor Sango, who had lost her entire home and family. Kagome was the lucky one, for she had a family and a home to belong to, a sheltered life, yet that still did not stop her from having a kind heart. Inuyasha apparently had noticed it as well, with the way his face seemed to change whenever she was around, and when she was not. It was the truth that she held them all together, and it was amazing how they all did just that. The more he got to know them, their lives, worries, and who they truly were inside; he found it increasingly harder to leave them, to not become attached, because he had already become accustomed to seeing their faces every day, he had become attached to them. Why leave them?

This was what his life was now, and he enjoyed it, very much.

How quickly everything turned around, when everything shattered, when Inuyasha blocked the well, destroying it completely with that huge tree. And that smile, vicious, cruel, mocking them with utter treachery, ending the friendship he had with them. It was from that day he never stopped dreaming of the event, every movement, every word spoken, and every time his weapon struck—

Miroku shivered from the cold reminder, the remnants of his nightmare.

He then looked up from his hiding place, and found only Kagome, still asleep, without the hanyou there to look over her. It was only by chance he saw a shadow darting away until it had blended with the rest of the night background.

He really is afraid…of us.

Miroku quickly stood up, the guilt in his heart almost too much to bear, and he prepared to leave to follow Inuyasha, and possibly a chance to talk with him. He stopped when he felt something tug on his robes.

"Houshi-sama…?" Sango asked, half-asleep.

He kneeled beside her, and kissed her warmly on her cheek. "Sango, I'll be back in the morning, I promise," and he walked away, towards the edges of the forest.

Sandaled feet walked with ease on the familiar path, the path which led from the youkai-taijiya village to the main road, a path which Miroku frequently travelled upon. Every few days he would venture out into the world, sometimes to obtain some supplies for his wife, Sango, and sometimes…sometimes he did not know why he took those long, lonely walks, without Sango and Shippou. He would walk, almost in a daze, and just looking, looking without seeing. His gaze would mostly fall onto the highest braches of the trees, and he would stand motionless, as if waiting for something to spring out and greet him. But Miroku never found what he was looking for, whatever he was searching for.

Miroku looked around the area once again, listening to the haunting sounds of the forest whispering things to his ears, and feeling the sensations of the cold air against his face.

Where is he?

It was then the houshi heard a strange, metallic whistling sound. He scarcely had time to blink when he felt an object fly sharply past him, just inches away from his neck. There was a thud, and then, nothing. Breathing erratically from being nearly hit or possibly missed on purpose, he slowly turned and faced the dagger, its cold gleam sending a chill down his spine. He reached for the blade, but found himself suddenly unable to as a strong hand clutched roughly at his throat, pushing him against the trunk of a tree with a thud. Stunned, he stood where he was, especially when he saw another blade coming closer towards him, the flat of the blade pressing lightly on his cheek. Miroku then looked at his attacker, and saw how his eyes glowed with cold amber, how his expression was eerily vacant.

Despite Inuyasha's hand gripping tightly around his throat, making it almost impossible for him to speak clearly, Miroku did manage to say in a choked gasp, the hanyou's name.

"Miroku?" he replied, astonished, and immediately relaxed his grip. "I'm sorry; I thought you were someone else." Hurriedly, he sheathed the small knife into its scabbard. "You should not be walking around by yourself, it could be dangerous."

"I-I…know." He replied, still feeling the sensation of his grip around his throat. "Why didn't you stay with Kagome-sama?"

Inuyasha did not answer, keeping his eyes away from him, yet keeping the handle of the katana close to his hand. Now that he knew it was Miroku who was here, speaking to him, Inuyasha began to feel the first signs of uneasiness creeping back. He did not know why he was here; let alone why he was asking such a question. Why would it matter that he left Kagome with them? She would have been safer with them. Inuyasha did not understand, he could not understand. Why would Miroku ask such a stupid question? However, the hanyou held his mouth shut, stepping back to leave.

"Wait! Can't we at least talk, please?" the houshi pleaded. "Like before, as…friends?"

Even though Miroku was unable to properly see his face, somehow he could tell that Inuyasha was taken aback by his request. The last thing he wanted was to see him, his friend from long ago, afraid of him, and so he said the first thing that sprung to his mind to prevent Inuyasha from leaving too abruptly without any kind of understanding between them. It had seemed to work; only now he stood there without moving, without a sound, just watching him with that same empty expression.

Moments past before the houshi grew increasingly uncomfortable with his silence, and with his eyes constantly on him. He cleared his throat, dry as it was, and attempted to speak.

"What do you want to talk about?" Inuyasha asked suddenly.

"A-anything," he replied, a little shaken. "Like…uh…what have you been doing for these last years?"

"Nothing much, just what I usually do, that's all," he said quietly, almost in a whisper. Suddenly, Inuyasha sat down on the grass, and leaned back to rest his head against the tree.

"Are you all right?" Miroku asked worriedly, feeling his forehead and found it damp with sweat.

"Don't touch me!" he cried out, swatting the houshi's hand away.

Dark amber eyes stared directly at Miroku with fear, yet all too soon that look vanished as Inuyasha buried his head in his arms, suddenly afraid to see what he had just done. "Why are you here, Miroku-san?" He asked after a while, still refusing to look at him. "Kagome is already there and safe with you. What more do you want from me?"

His tone, monotonous, virtually to the point of coldness, stopped Miroku from answering him straight away. Looking down at his hand, Miroku could still feel the burning sensation from when Inuyasha had hit his hand away. In some ways, alas, it was a reaction that he was expecting, but upon seeing it, and with such fear in his eyes, fear of him, of the people whom he once knew as friends, made the houshi curse the very fates for their misfortune, and Miroku cursed himself for being its accomplice. If he wanted anything from Inuyasha, he would ask for his forgiveness. But would he forgive?

Inuyasha looked up, thinking Miroku had left him and was surprised to find that he was still there sitting down next to him. Curiosity overtook his better judgement as he leaned forward to see what the houshi was looking at with such a solemn expression.

"Kazaana...?" He whispered, eyeing Miroku's right hand that was covered in the familiar dark purple cloth.

Miroku gasped, the sound of his voice breaking his reverie. "What about it?"

"Is it still there?" He asked, hesitantly.

"N-no...look, see? It's gone...well, I hope it's gone. You...Kohaku did say that you killed Naraku. Isn't that right? Unless of course—"

"He is dead," spoke a voice.

"Inuyasha...?"

"What?"

"No... Never mind," Miroku tried to smile, but Inuyasha had already turned his head away from him. That voice again. The first time he heard it, he thought he had imagined it, but now he knew this was not so, for it sounded real enough to him, very real. The voice that came from Inuyasha's mouth was strange, hollow, and almost unearthly in its quality. As if he were...possessed? He took the chance to glance at him again while using his spiritual powers to detect any abnormalities in the hanyou's aura, only having to give up after a while when he could not find any evidence to the cause of his...odd behaviour. Something...or someone is blocking me. But for what purpose he could not decipher, except for his growing suspicions that it might have some implications to the Shikon no Tama itself. He did not particularly like the inference; however, no matter how much they had tried to ignore it, the truth was that the jewel played a significant role in their lives, manipulating them to its will, then and now, and forever. Even after someone made a wish on the jewel, would it truly disappear, or merely lay hidden, like a disease, until it made its presence known to the victim.

Why was Inuyasha collecting the shards again? Simply because it had shattered after Naraku's demise did not sit well with him. There was something else...

Miroku suddenly shivered.

"You should go back to camp and warm yourself up." Inuyasha said. "Sango-san must be worried about you, always walking away like that."

"What makes you say that?" The houshi answered, confused.

"You are always walking by yourself, never with Sango-san or Shippou-san."

"You know...," Miroku breathed. "You saw me...?" He saw Inuyasha incline his head forward. "No wonder I always felt someone watching me, and whenever I looked, I saw no one there."

"Kohaku-kun wanted to see how you were all going. He was worried about his sister."

The houshi looked at him for a moment; somehow not really believing what he had said was the complete truth. "Sango and I, we did get married, but we never really..."

"Really?" he answered, "I thought you would have had at least two or three by now. Children, I mean."

"Children?" for some reason he started to laugh. "I have wished for that ever since we married. But I couldn't. A husband and wife should only have children when there is happiness, love. I could not give any of that for her. Why should I be happy...when I knew my friend...my dear friend was out there...alone. Why should I have happiness...when I destroyed his?

"In my life, there were many things I never regretted doing, except this. We all knew about you and Kagome-sama, we all did. Yet we never knew why you blocked that well. It was all too convenient, as Kagome-sama said. Deliberate. Shippou saw Kikyou-sama's Shinidamachuu, we followed him, and then we saw you, that...that face. It was horrible." He closed his eyes. "And then we chased you away, so you couldn't harm her any more, no more rude words, no fighting, no constantly hunting for the Shikon no Tama, nothing. You were truly gone, cast aside. From that day on, I hated myself for doing that. I...I knew you wouldn't have done something so...cruel. But seeing you...or whatever that was...everything just fell around me, I didn't know what to believe. This shouldn't have happened. I know this should have never happened. But I guess, it's too late now, isn't it?"

"Too late for what?" the hanyou asked. He had never seen the houshi so upset before. For Miroku to openly pour out his feelings, towards him for that matter, was something he did not know how to handle with a confident manner like Kagome was able to. His hand reached out to touch his shoulder, but quickly retracted it.

"I'm not really sure." Miroku replied while rubbing his forehead. "I apologise; I don't know what came over me. I guess I'm tired."

"Good night then, Miroku-san."

Miroku stopped and turned around. "Aren't you coming? If Kagome-sama wakes up to find your not there, she would be very worried. Please? I would like it, if you stayed with us, if only for her sake." Perhaps it was too much to ask of him, having to ask Inuyasha to come back to camp when it was clear he did not want to be near them, nevertheless Miroku wanted to heal the deep wounds between them. Even if it took years until his very last breath, he was willing to try anything, even if they had to start all over again.


Kagome!

Kagome ran blindly forward, unknowing where her feet were running to, or running away from. She could see nothing but darkness surrounding her, overpowering her, yet she struggled on, running as if her life needed to escape from death. The sounds of her name echoed horribly, sometimes distant, or sometimes as close as it was claustrophobic. The distorted voice pleaded to her, almost to the point of desperation, but what exactly it wanted, whoever it was, the frightened miko was not sure, or willing to stay and find out.

Help me!

"Who are you?" she called out, her own voice reverberating around her. Her only reply was the continued cries for help. At last Kagome stopped, and knowingly looking about her in vain, she tried to find the source of the voice which had spoken to her. "Where are you?"

Help me! Kagome, please!

The miko spun around, instantly recognising his voice, "Inuyasha!" Immediately, a sudden gust of wind rushed against her, whipping and cutting at her skin. The winds howled at her, violent and piercing, sending her very soul into fright. She called to him again as she began to sprint with renewed energy, and thanked kami when she finally saw his image, clothed in red and his locks of powder white hair billowing behind him. Tears formed at the back of her eyes, slightly blurring her sight, but she kept running and calling out his name.

Help me!

"Why won't you stop? I'm here!"

Help me!

"Inuyasha!"

He turned around, having heard her calling his name at last. He stared blankly at her, and everything seemed to slow down around her as she stared back at him in horror. He moved a step backward, warily; his eyes still focussed on her, his ears bent back, threatening, and his hands trembling, yet tense, like an animal backed into a corner with no want of being captured by the miko before him. Kagome could not move, as the warmth of the blood circulating around her body seemed to have drained away, leaving her cold and useless. Nor could she even speak to him, to tell him that she was here, to help him come out of his trance-like stare. Why couldn't she move? She had to help him!

Why do you want to help him, a hanyou? A cold voice said to her. Before her stood, to her disbelief, someone who looked like an exact, eerie version of Inuyasha himself, dressed in black robes and his distinguishable canine ears, but whose face reflected someone much worse than his demonic youkai half. Someone who looked almost like—

"Naraku!" she cried out in fear.

"No." The metallic voice said. "We are the spirits of the Shikon no Tama." Its face smiled cruelly, and then changed like flowing liquid, until Kagome recognised her from her previous dream.

"Are you going to save him?" The transparent image of the once graceful and authoritative miko asked, pointing behind Kagome with a slender finger.

The young miko looked behind her, and saw the scenery had changed completely. They now found themselves in a grassy area, loosely bordered by the forest on one side, and the rocky overhang on the other, which Inuyasha had his foot much too close to the edge.

"Are you going to save him?" She heard her ask again, her tone now displaying an icy fierceness. The miko shakily nodded, regardless of the growing anger burning within her from the ancient miko's cryptic question. Midoriko then smiled at her, apparently pleased with her answer and, with one swipe of her arm, she pushed the startled hanyou off the cliff.

Why save him, when his life has already gone?

Kagome leapt off the cliff after him, and fell rapidly down the cliff face, until there was nothing but darkness in front of her, around her, crushing her...


Kagome gasped, her eyes instantly opening to the reality of the early morning sun shining on her face, and the overwhelming multitude of colours of the landscape assaulting her vision. However to her relief she saw something that was familiar to her, and she smiled at his sleeping face, marvelling at how even now, he had a slight frown while he slept, a clear warning that he was still alert. She reached up to touch his face, and watched as his eyelids fluttered open.

"Did you sleep much?" She whispered.

"A little," he replied sleepily, before drifting off to sleep once more.

She let out a yawn as she stretched her arms to get the kinks out her joints, and felt something fall from her person. Looking down, she found a large garment of red lying on top of her sleeping bag. Tentatively, she picked it up, feeling the soft furry texture between her fingers which felt like silk to her touch. His haori... To her, it seemed far too long since he had worn it, and concerning the use of Tessaiga, the miko had only seen him once with the blade. Two of his most prized and sentimental possessions which were left by his parents were suddenly hidden from his view, left discarded, as if he wanted no part with them. Is he ashamed?

Kagome shook her head and gently draped the haori over Inuyasha's shoulders as a blanket to keep him warm, and then walked over to the campfire to prepare some breakfast.

"Good morning, Kagome-chan." Sango said. "Had a good sleep?"

"Good enough." The miko replied quietly, looking behind her. "I'm more worried about him, though."

"He has been up all night, making sure you were safe."

Kagome looked at Miroku with surprise, but he only smiled sadly and said nothing more to elaborate. "He usually is, but he wouldn't just fall asleep like that."

"You shouldn't worry so much, Kagome-sama." Kohaku said. "He does that to recover, when something...," he clenched his teeth, "happens. He was always like that, it's only when he has to hunt for the shards he becomes, 'alive', if you know what I mean. He could go on for days without stopping. After that he would just sit there, dozing off until there's another shard to be found."

While blowing off the excess steam from the ramen cup so it wouldn't be too hot, the miko decided that she did not like the boy slayer's description. "Well, I won't let him sit there without eating anything. He must be starving. Besides...," she blushed, "it's his favourite flavour."

It was at this very moment, Inuyasha's horse decided to trot into the campsite after considering it was safe to do so, seeing that his master was in no danger from these new and strange people. His nose twitched in curiosity, his big dark eyes blinked at them, and his nose flared every so often while trying to pick the scents off them. It was an inquisitive beast, strong, with a coat of deep brown, yet he was shy around strangers, and tended to hide whenever he felt the need to be cautious. The horse had also – for some strange reason – picked up the most bizarre habit of placing its large head on top of the person he liked, ruffling said person's head, and then breathing right down into the person's ear. And he did just that with the hanyou's ear, causing the poor appendage to sway violently back and forth with each snort, until Inuyasha abruptly sprang from where he was sitting, unsheathing his katana and then flailing it around like a madman, shouting:

"I'm awake, I'm awake! You won't get me, you fucking bastards!" So loud was this outburst, it caused everyone to jump up in fright, and a certain horse to start neighing in laughter. Inuyasha stared wide-eyed in front of him, and the moment of realisation came upon him that he was not alone. He looked at everyone else with the same astonished expression, and they stared back, equally surprised. His face then flushed with colour, and he fell on his rear, embarrassment stopping him from saying or doing anything further.

"Didn't I say, not do that. You know how much he hates it." Kohaku said angrily, before shoving the beast away, but not before the horse had the chance to smile with all of its big teeth showing.

"Kohaku," his sister asked, "where did that...horse come from. It's...well...," she lowered her voice. "It's a bit strange."

"Inuyasha-san said he got him when he was just a foal, but I don't know where he got that personality from. Who ever heard of some idiot ruffling people's hair and breathing down their ears? It's just not natural."

At least I know where you got yours from, Sango thought, a tiny smile forming on her face.

Shippou, who had stayed unusually silent ever since Inuyasha appeared back into their lives, quickly stood up, his face refusing to look at anyone for fear that he might betray the emotions he was trying to hide, and that his mouth would start saying things he knew he would later regret.

"What's wrong, Shippou?" the female slayer asked, but the kitsune hurriedly shook his head, and then nimbly ran off until they could no longer see him.

The boy slayer smirked. "Poor thing got upset."

"Kohaku!" his sister exclaimed, and his face reddened in discomfiture.

"What? He's a youkai. It's not like someone like him will get sad over something like this. I bet he's glad that this all happened. I know Kouga is, gloating as usual."

"You don't really believe that, do you Kohaku-kun." Kagome said. "I'm sure Shippou-chan isn't thinking about that. I know what happened was bad, and we've done things we wished...had never occurred. But we can never change that past, no matter how hard we try. We just have to," she looked at Sango and Miroku, "try our best and fix things." Kagome bit her lip, trying to stop the tears from forming at the back of her eyes. "I...I...better give this ramen to Inuyasha."


During this time, concealed from view behind the thicker section of the forest, stood a group of houshi, Katashi being their leader, and one miko, who had her weapon aimed upon the unsuspecting group, waiting for the command to fire.

"Do you see him, Naoko-san?"

"Y-yes...," the miko replied, her bow and arrow aimed with hesitation.

"Well then," the senior houshi asked, slightly irritated. "What are you waiting for?"

Naoko lowered her bow down and bowed her head in apology. "I can't. They must be friends. Look, can you not see that girl giving him food? And his face, he is smiling."

The rest of the group murmured, undecided whether to agree or not.

"Any beast would be foolish enough to trust anyone who gives him food. Shoot him," he said softly, his tone threatening in her ear. "Or, I am sorry to say, you will live to regret it."


Until next time...