This time all I want is you
There is no one else who can take your place
This time you burned me with your eyes
You see past all the lies
You take it all away
-Take me away, Lifehouse
ShiKai CH.48: Come Undone
-Flashback: Third lifetime of the elements-
Why did it have to end this way?
The pain that savaged his chest was one thing he could never accept. It felt like something was being ripped apart, torn from where it had grown inside. Tensa Zangetsu likened it to losing a limb. The vital nerves of which still ached for that missing piece.
No more.
He shed no tears for swords didn't cry.
Why, though; he wanted to ask Sode no Shirayuki as the weapon Water had borne into that destroyed life. Why had she let him go? It was a selfish thought, one that no matter its consequences, would've urged the preservation of Keiki's life.
The Shinigami had been drawn by the reports of a Hollow. That Hollow had been what was once Water-is-was-gone.
-Keiki-
But, the sword had no sympathy for that other. Only her name resonated in his consciousness.
Soon, she would come and choose another sword to repeat the cycle.
This time-this time
Swords didn't pray.
..take me as yours. Tensa Zangetsu wished.
(*)*)*)*)*)*)*)*)
"Tensa...answer me! Why didn't you say something?" Kei gripped his front, her fingers tightly grasping at the bunched dark cloth. The Zanpaku-to looked down at her unmoved even as she tried to shake him, though the effect was much like a child trying to move a mountain.
Uselessly now, her hands slid down his breast, beneath her palm his heart beat rapidly through the thick fabric. "Why didn't you tell me who you were?" Her voice had dropped to a petulant child's murmur, her downcast eyes unseeing of the change in his expression.
Softening-hardening. In contention with himself, Zangetsu strove to keep his emotions below the surface lest she suspect anything at all of how he felt at that moment. Above all, he knew it would be dangerous to give in.
The ghosting of fingertips along the rise of his cheekbone drew his thoughts back to the woman.
The traitorous shudder that rippled throughout his tall, lean frame was unbearable. "Don't touch me!" The harshness in his tone made her recoil, the warmth of her fingertips lifting. The feeling that gripped him, weakened yet did not fade entirely. Zangetsu had expected this, as much self-control he possessed; being in her presence alone made him feel weak.
"I see then." A quiet rustle disturbed the silence. The rustle of her layered kimono gown crinkled as she turned away. Zangetsu glimpsed it then; the look in her eyes. He had never meant it to have gone so deep. To keep distance yes, but never to wound. Acting on emotions had always been a fault of his wielder's. Never his.
He watched as her hand folded, fingers curling against her palm, falling to the side.
One shaking breath inhaled then exhaled as a sigh.
Then the emotion was wiped clean. Like a mask had been slipped on. It was imperfect however as Zangetsu soon perceived. Keiki could never completely conceal her emotions and like with all, it was felt intensely, deeply.
"I'm sorry you feel that way." Her lips were curved in the corners. Bearing the hint of a smile that didn't reach her eyes. "If...it were at all possible I would make it so that you never had to see my presence again."
That he felt. As her very being gave both joy and sorrow; the sword could not wish for that lack. The very concept of it was frightening.
"Here..." she held out his sunglasses.
Expressionless, Zangetsu extended his hand, meaning to brush the tips of her fingers curled around the wide bridge between the lenses.
But, she pulled back and walked away.
(*)*)*)*)*)*)
It didn't hurt. Kei told herself that, half believing half not. She had gone through worse pain of shattered bones, cuts that ran deep, burning blistering of Ceros and loss of an eye. That eye hurt now. Strangely, throbbingly as if recalling the slashing motion that had sheared through the orbital bone and gelatinous orb. Kei raised her hand, rubbing at it dully.
The pain didn't recede.
There had been a time once when she had come near to calling that sword, hers. But, time and remembrance had stopped the offer from ever being made.
Because once there was a sword whom had protected her...
She still remembered the warmth of his hand, the lessening pain in her eye as the ocular nerves struggled to regain sensory function. It hurt terribly but she didn't mind. Even bloody and beaten it all seemed to fade.
"I am your shield! Why did you allow yourself to be hurt when I could've protected you?"
Then, she had been flooded with understanding. There would come a day when the sword would protect her and suffer the same fate as Oni-hime. Being cut to pieces before her eyes.
So she had simply swallowed those words.
"...it's alright. Swords don't die, they simply cease to exist. I'd rather it be my eye than you- because I don't want you to stop existing, Tensa. But please, do this much for me...find someone worthy of wielding you. I know you've been alone for so long, so please when the day comes that you have a Shinigami as a companion, find me. Because I want to see you happy."
That day was here.
(*)*)*)*)*)*)Mindscape(*)*)*)*)*)*)
The snow began to drizzle harder onto the white mountainous plain.
"I'm not saying that, Ichigo!"
The solitary woman in white lifted faded blue eyes to the graying sky indicative of Rukia's emotions.
"Don't you see that I need someone too?" The boy whom had stopped the rain caused by her mentor's demise; yelled in a way that hurt Rukia though her outward face never showed it.
"You baka! Of course I know it! But, understand, Ichigo! I'm only looking out for you as a friend! She-"
Sode no Shirayuki felt the anger and confusion seep into the mindscape.
The spiraling flakes grew sharper, falling faster.
"Why are you so against Kei anyway? What's so wrong with her that you hate her so much!"
Taken aback, Rukia opened and closed her mouth several times.
"Why?" Sode no Shirayuki questioned herself. What was there to that thing- that creature whom drew others to her like moths to the flame?
But, Rukia was too agitated to hear Shirayuki within her mind. "Why not Inoue? Why did it have to be...her?"
There were many different answers. Many different reasons that came near to encompassing the truth of why Kurosaki Ichigo had chosen to and fallen in love with that thing.
"Where does Inoue come into this? She's just a friend-!" His voice was starting rise dangerously again. "Kei's much more to me than her!"
Rukia didn't understand.
Sode no Shirayuki closed her eyes to the driving whiteness that held a darker, less pure tinge to it. Resentment was tainting the purity of her world.
"At least..Inoue has a real soul."
The white sword sensed the change in the atmosphere immediately. Oppression was seeping in, the air closing in around her. This was~! Through Rukia's eyes, Shirayuki saw the girl looking out from around the back door. His anger completely evaporated replaced by pain. "Kei.."
The girl seemed to recollect herself, "Y-Yuzu-chan wanted to know if Kuchiki Rukia-san was still going to spend the night?"
When Kurosaki moved, it was almost as if he were leaving. Distancing himself totally from her wielder's heart and presence. "I think it would be best if you left." Standing by the other's side, his hand on her shoulder.
"You can't-Ichigo-I wasn't-" Rukia faltered, her voice losing the force it had always carried.
Don't drive me away. The plea her wielder couldn't speak, rang out over the blizzard-locked skies.
His eyes were half-lidded, cold like the eyes of a stranger.
Rukia shivered into the very depths of her soul for that look.
"Go. Now!"
She ran.
(*)*)*) Tsukikage Castle(*)*)*)
"Oh, Captain Namaiki! Wait up!"
Kazeatari slowed her brisk stride long enough for the dark-haired man to catch up."Amakusa," she regarded him steadily. "What is it? Does Takara require something?"
"Uh, no, ma'am...I uh wanted to return this book I borrowed from you." A little pink-faced, he held out a large green tome embossed with gold filigree flowers. "Ah.." Kazeatari took it from him, coming to a stop beneath the arched window on the eastern side overlooking the outer wall of the gardens.
"Keats. Did you find one you liked? My personal favorite is Lamia." she cracked the spine open, turning over a few thick leaves. A smile lit up his dark eyes, "yes. On the Sea. I particularly liked the evocative reminiscence it called up of the power and majesty of the ocean. It makes me want to visit the eastern shores. You know we haven't...in quite a long time."
"Mm..true." Kazeatari's gaze rose from the inset of the ink drawing of a rugged coastline. "Once she's back-"
"That's right! Is it true that Captain Nanatsu is going to bring Captain Yamamoto back? I heard from the Lieutenant that he had planned to sometime today and that we had something that might bring her memory back-?" Toya looked very uncertain at the last part, his brows meeting in a slight little boyish look of confusion.
For a moment, the longish dark hair tied back in a ribbon, bangs hanging so unkemptly around his face reminded her sharply of another. A little boy tugging on his sister's skirt.
"*Sorella, sono affamato..!"
(*Sister, I'm hungry *Lit. Italian)
"Captain Namaiki-? Are you feeling okay?" he was peering into her face. Kazeatari tried to shake the vision of the sallow cheeks pinched in starvation from her mind. "You're starving, aren't you?"
Surprised by the question, he blinked twice before answering, "um..kind of I guess. I haven't had lunch yet-oh, but! Hey!" Expressionless, she had started to drag him off. "Come along then, I can cook for you at the very least." I could do nothing then...
Her obsidian eyes lowered.
*Sono spiacente, il mio fratello piccolo.
( * I'm sorry, my little brother *Lit Italian)
(*)*)*) Seireitei(*)*)*)
The medicine sat on the table, measured out carefully by Kiyone. I'll take it in a moment. Now, Jushiro lowered the white handkerchief from his mouth, listening for the receding footsteps to fade. In time they did and the Taichou of Thirteenth breathed a shallow sigh of relief.
While he tolerated the clumsy efforts of his two seated officers; this was one task he wished to accomplish alone. Pocketing the linen square, Jushiro rose, hurriedly crossing the room to the interconnecting door that opened into another hall. The corridor was short and he traversed it with little difficulty, the beat of his heart increasing with each step.
One more door. This new portal was easily unlocked, an aura of mustiness and age passing over him as he stepped through. It was a cordoned off section of Thirteenth Squad. Jushiro gazed at the familiar walls, illumination spilling upon them from the tiny oil lamp he held aloft. So long ago...such a very long time ago, those very rooms had been the place where he had first met her. Murasaki.
The youthful face hovered from a moment in time.
The worn crimson kimono and wide obi patterned with large chrysanthemums.
The curious yet trusting eyes. "Tonight?"
"Yes, Yamamoto-Taichou wished to have plenty of time to see you without obligations interfering."
Jushiro remembered the moonlit walk. The flame in the lamp sputtered, casting strange formations on the walls. For a moment a sliver of fear asserted itself, but then he shook it off. Kiyone had promised to come and check up on him; knowing her it would be every few minutes. Jushiro meant to have finished this by that time.
Quickly then, he set to work. Dropping to one knee beside the floorboards where the imprint of a great desk had remained. Lifting up the first two loosened boards, he set them aside, drawing out from the hollowed space beneath the floor; a box made of plain maple.
Centuries of dust lay upon the polished grained top, his hands came away coated with a fine grayish silt which he ignored. Desiring only to retrieve the contents. His searching fingers found it connecting with the slender two-pronged stick then the silky whisper of chain. The faceted stone felt pleasantly cool to the touch. Jushiro held up the item in the light, the reddish beads though darkened with some brownish-rust colored ochre, still glittered despite the years that had passed.
It was the hairpin the young heir of the Kuchiki clan almost a thousand years earlier had given to Murasaki after she had saved him. Murasaki whom was now Yamamoto-Hisakata Keiko.
Jushiro only prayed that the tragedy did not repeat itself.
(*)*)*) Living world(*)*)*)
Ichigo rolled over and looked at the clock.
5:45 AM.
Damn Zangetsu. The sun hadn't even risen yet and he had said- more intimated that Ichigo was going to be late for school. Not that he particularly cared, but...intelligence seemed a high point with Kei, albeit his grades weren't anything to complain about.
But, to think that in her academy days she had shined- most likely at the top of her class...
That alone was enough to motivate him to study a little harder- if a Hollow didn't show up and tentatively consider asking to be taught basic Kido. Matsumoto and Hitsugaya could both attest to the fact that they had seen her perform a full Level 90 Hado one reminiscent of the traitor Aizen Sosuke had used on Komamura Saijin.
On par to a Taichou... that thought was frightening as it denoted that she still had that power somewhere inside. The power that placed her on the frontlines against Aizen. Ichigo didn't want that. Sure he could protect her...but would she accept being protected?
Her mindset was difficult to gauge as they had never been in that situation against powerful enemies. Part of him suspected that she wouldn't stand by and let him handle it then he was also sure that the Shinigami desired her full participation in the upcoming war.
The Juppongatana Captains were ranked in order of strength.
She was the Fourth so that meant she was below Kagami in skill. Ichigo hadn't crossed swords with the Water wielder before, yet again Hitsugaya and Matsumoto had.
He frowned at the ceiling, watching the slow creeping of light slanting in across the smooth plaster.
They'd have lost if Kagami hadn't held back at the last moment.
Ichigo heard the scuffle of footsteps in the hallway outside his bedroom door. Surprisingly they paused and he half rose, bringing the covers up to his chest. The steps hadn't been heavy like his dad's, nor light like his sisters'.
Kei? The slight hope tightened something in his stomach, anticipation made his mouth dry. Nervously he passed his tongue over his lips, wetting them. What would he say~? After what had transpired between them last night...but was it a dream? He thought of how she'd looked, wearing a crimson kimono he had never seen before. Smelling of dust and the always prevalent ashen-musk. Come to think of it, the thick fabric of the kimono had been worn-seeming under his hands. As if softened by age.
And that hair ornament..
He shifted suddenly, sitting up only to have a peculiar stabbing pain lance through his shoulder blade. What the-
Ichigo reached back, running his fingers over the curved expanse of his upper back. Dots of red stained his fingertips. That's right! At that same moment, disappointedly he heard her footsteps move on. She had stabbed me thinking I was someone else...but why didn't it heal?
(*)*)*)
The sound of sizzling onions greeted Isshin Kurosaki as he reached the bottom of the stairs. A smile came onto his rugged, unshaven face at the thought of his little girls rising early to prepare breakfast. Reaching the ground floor, his eyes traveled over to the open kitchen and the small head of short blond hair he expected to see standing before the range.
Instead..
His heart jolted painfully in his chest.
It was her.
Some sound must've escaped him, perhaps the shifting of the floorboards as he started back. Either way it drew her attention.
"Ah! O-hayo gozaimasu, Isshin-otousan!" The girl's voice was cheerful without a trace of hostility present. Isshin warily approached, taking a circuitous route to the table, pulling out a chair and sitting down, all the while keeping her in his sights.
"..pardon me, but I'm sure my son mentioned your name last night..." so very carefully, he probed around the subject which tormented him. "..Kanae..was it?" To his perceptive gaze, trained so studiously on her back. There was a slight quaver. A hesitation in the hand that pushed the utensil around in the pan.
"..Kanae?" An underlying question seemed to be there. As if she were questioning herself. "N-No. It is Yamamoto-Hisakata using respectively the kanji for Strong Mountain and Moon and Keiko for Fire Child."
Isshin rose from his seat, "I see. Excuse my faulty memory then, Yamamoto-san."
"U-um.." she turned around again, worrying her lip to pieces.
"Yes?"
"It was alright that I used your kitchen-? I asked Yuzu-chan last night, but um.."
Isshin hesitated for a moment; the girl clasped the spatula in both hands, clad in a gray pleated skirt and white T-shirt that was slightly loose on the bosom, a small pink apron with ruffles was tied about her slim waist. She looked the picture of a normal, pretty teenager rather than an ancient spirit analogous to a piece of matter.
"That's fine." Despite the wariness he had maintained as a former Shinigami, Isshin felt himself softening toward her. Perhaps it was her expression so full of innocence that was so disarming or maybe it was how it hadn't escaped his notice the way his son looked at her. Isshin remembered what it felt like to look at Masaki and know she was the only woman he would ever love.
Maybe that was how Ichigo took after him.
The girl instantly brightened, "domo arigatou!"
"I must ask one thing however.."
Her eyes lifted to his face, the tilt of her chin showing curiosity.
"Please..let Ichigo protect you." Isshin began walking away, "don't die and leave him alone."
(*)*)*)Unknown level of the Meido(*)*)*)
The main stretch of the cave had slowly sloped downward, taking them deeper underground. Byakko had wrinkled his sensitive nose every once and a while over the rotted smell wafting around them. However all that had changed once they had crossed a small bridge suspended over a rushing river. The water had churned with darkness and shadows swam fast against the current.
Though it was unspoken, all were glad to leave the damp wetness of the underground channel behind. It was like the reversal of night and day, Touda thought, staring around at the open entryway that broke off from the monotony of the rock and into a lush red-walled interior. Thick throw rugs muted their steps on the dark gray flagstone where nary a crack nor destruction could be found. Sconces on the walls cast almost full illumination on the long, wide corridor ahead, while another branched off to the side.
"We must find Genbu and release the seal.." Soryu's harsh, imperious tones echoed strangely out of place in the lordly manor as if impertinent.
"Why?" Touda noticed art frame-sized pieces lining the opposite corridor and longed to go and see what they were. "Why do we have to let him loose? Didn't he go insane 'cause of Earth's influence?"
Byakko frowned a little, his golden eyes clouding over. "No, it wasn't so much like insanity...think of love as-as a sickness! Like something that spreads in the blood, burning the body dry. It becomes a mania, an obsession for that one thing. I could never understand wholly of why he did those things..but that's one thing I can say about the Earth element."
Bright blue eyes looked suddenly curious, "and what's that?"
"That he truly loved- loves Keiki still."
(*)*)*)Living world(*)*)*)
The first thing Ichigo heard upon going downstairs were Yuzu and Karin's voices raised in exclamation. "Ooh! That looks good!" Surprisingly it smelled good. Like eggs and the tart, pungent scent of fried onions.
Rounding the corner, the first thing he saw was Kei leaning on the counter, fanning a deep dish pie with a potholder. His sisters were standing on tiptoe at her side, looking at it. At his approach, they glanced up, Yuzu smiling; Karin bored, "oh, so you're finally up? There's some toast over there."
"Karin, that's not very nice!"
"That's my nicest way of saying more for me if you leave now."
Kei laughed a little, setting aside the paisley potholder. His heart raced a little more as she turned, favoring him with a smile. "Morning, Ichigo. Did you sleep well?" Absently he had reached behind, rubbing his shoulder blade, now he shrugged.
"Eh, fine I guess." Deliberately playing at nonchalance, he continued on easily. "Did you dream anything last night? I mean like have any nightmares-?" Then realized his choice of words hadn't been the best.
She didn't seem to mind. "No, none at all. In fact I slept very peacefully last night."
Somewhat awkwardly now, Ichigo felt Karin glance suspiciously at him. "Oh, is that right.." he was aware of some disappointment flare sharply in his soul. So, she didn't remember.
Doesn't remember what I said.
"I love you."
Unable to keep his emotions from showing, he moved away. Pretending to search the fridge for something. What was it she was going to ask me-? Confusion clouded his eyes. Was she questioning if my feelings are real? Is that it? They're real, dammit!
Almost angrily, he shoved the fridge door shut, the satisfying bang startling the girls.
Or had he even touched it? Ichigo stared down at his fisted hands clenched at his sides. The door...how had it slammed shut if..
"Ichi-nii..is something the matter?" The sudden silence made him glance to Yuzu, who approached slowly, warily with eyes like a frightened rabbit. Karin stood by Kei's side, looking on yet her orbs were filled with a kind of intensity, like she knew-
Or sensed something.
Ichigo then let his gaze drift upward to her face and saw it filled with that same irrational hateful fear. "Kei, I...I.." Don't look at me like that-no-no-no
Yuzu had stretched her hand out to touch his.
Don't turn away- The piercing cry echoed deep from his subconscious mind, at once swallowing the persona of everything he was within that single instant as Kei took her eyes from him.
"Yuzu! Ge-" she had dived for his sister.
"Don't look away from me, Keiki!" The scream exploded like a shockwave in the air...
-TBC-
AN: thanks for reading :)
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