Hey everyone! So, I had to move and I currently do not have internet where I am now. Yay, rural areas... I don't know the next time I will get the chance to post this so I am going to post this chapter now. It hasn't been completely proofed so the second half may be a little off in grammar/timeline. Next time I get internet access I will be able to edit it. On a positive note, not only have we reached the awesome number 50 for the chapter but we have surpassed 300,000 words with this chapter! (And then 3,690 to spare!) This is of course not including these author notes. I apologize for the delay and lack of editing for part of this chapter but I want to thank you all for hanging with me. Everyone excited for ME Andromeda? I know I am! Thank you all for reading/following/favoriting and reviewing!


Chapter 50

I love you… Just say it. I. Love. You. He probably doesn't even know what that would mean and would ignore it. Just say it. Say it. Say. It! Jane smiled at him. The words weren't coming to her tongue. She had tucked her hands under her pillow as she laid slightly twisted on her right side but mostly on her stomach, staring at Garrus.

He stroked her hair, pushing the stray strands away from her face and attempting to smooth the tangled, tousled pieces down. "Are you okay?"

"Of course I am."

"Are you sure?"

She adjusted, sliding a little closer to him to kiss him on the mandible, "I am great. A little tired, maybe," she blushed.

He pressed his forehead to hers for a moment, "If you say so…"

God dammit, Jane! She cursed herself, Just fucking say it. "I still have a few hours of work before I can actually rest, so…" she smiled at him again, "I think I may have to go."

"Oh, I see. You just want me for sex. I feel so used."

She kissed him, brushed her forehead against his, and gave another smile before pushing back the covers, "A girl's gotta do, what a girl's gotta do." She stood at the side of the bed and gave a quick stretch.

Garrus watched her and reached out to grab her wrist as she finished her stretching, "Wait," he said sternly. She gave him a funny look and looked down to where he was looking. "I thought you said you were okay?"

Her fingers ran over the bloody holes and scratches on her right side then checked her left, there were some on that side as well. "I am… I just – I didn't even feel them." The sheets were just as bad, possibly, worse; it was not helping her case.

He exited on the same side of the bed as her and pushed her back down to sit on the bed, "Do you have any bandages here?"

"Garrus, I'm fine. My cybernetics will heal them in no time." He heard her words but clearly wasn't truly listening. When he gave her a stern look, she knew that she wasn't going to get anywhere with him, "Over there in the desk. Right side."

"Stay there," he ordered.

"Let me at least shower first," she retorted.

"Fine, go."

She grabbed a towel and headed to the shower, squeezing Garrus's hand as she walked by, "I'm okay. Promise."

He watched her go into the bathroom, and made his way to the desk to have everything ready. She was probably right that her cybernetics would take care of it but he was the cause. He had to make some effort to take care of her; fix his mistake. Light scratches usually happened between them and that was one thing but this was drawing blood. As he reached the desk, he saw the multiple drawers on the right. He should have asked, he realized. Opening the first, he stopped, staring at what he saw. How could it be here? How could she have it? It was lost, stolen. Wasn't it? He remembered – further – destroying his former headquarters looking for it. He reached out, touching the silver, sliding a talon over it. He picked it up, activating the hologram keys. It was the same box. He wasn't imagining it.

"Did you find it?" she called through the door, the water somewhat muffling her voice.

"Yes," he muttered. He blinked, snapping himself out of his thoughts. He placed the box on the desk before going back to looking for the medical supplies. The next drawer held his original goal. He set those out as well and went around the room, collecting his clothes to get himself dressed.

Jane turned off the shower. Turning, she went over to the mirror to inspect herself, tracing the holes, cuts, and scratches with her fingers. She was pretty sure that she remembered when the punctures happened but the rest was a blur. I guess these are the drawbacks of dating a turian. Stupid, soft human skin. She grabbed the towel and began to dry off. As she moved, the damage to her skin began to open again. Sighing, she supposed herself dry enough and stepped out, rubbing her hair with the towel to help dry it.

"Garrus, I know it looks bad but I'm fine, really," Jane said coming out of the shower. He was sitting in her desk chair with the bandages and gel ready. He looked concerned, maybe a little confused. "Are you okay?"

He nodded and pulled her closer. He began to apply the gel in silence, bandaging as he went. Jane turned as he pressed his palm against her, trying to get to the marks on her back.

"I hope this doesn't mean that you're going to start holding back on me."

No response.

She sighed, worried about what he was thinking. Maybe it's good that I didn't say it. This would have ruined the moment. She felt his hands stop, stretching over her bandaged skin.

"You should get dressed," he said. He watched her nod, her expression falling. As she walked by him, he back-handed her on the upper thigh, making her jump but more importantly, smile. He turned in her chair to watch her pick out her clothes and dress, their eyes occasionally meeting. "I'm sorry." He saw her turn, ready to defend him against himself but he raised his hand and she went silent. "I'm sorry for being rough on you but I do know that you are strong enough and willingly to put up with… my turian ways."

Jane was in her underwear, finishing up brushing her hair and had begun to braid it, "When this," she motioned between them, "started, I figured that being with a turian wasn't going to be simple, in more than one way. But, I'm willing to work on it if you will."

Garrus nodded, "I want to ask you something…" his voice trailed off, "But finish dressing first."

She nodded, finishing her hair and reaching in for her uniform. He was acting strange and it didn't seem like it was related to her injuries. She was almost fully dressed, only missing her shoes and went over to where Garrus was sitting. "You going through my stuff?" she smirked as she turned the corner seeing him holding the silver music box. Once again, she had forgotten it. She smiled, giving him an odd look, and half chuckled, "Why did that peak your interest? Suddenly take interest music?"

His talon ran along the edge, "Yes, I did… some time ago. This human with an amazing voice sent me a birthday gift of her singing." Garrus looked up at her, her jaw dropped; her mouth stayed parted until she snapped it shut again. "However, she shouldn't have sent me a gift at all because on her birthday she gave me a gift, and it was my birthday so it was my turn to give her something. This isn't a music box. If you could sing, please," he triggered the keys and played the notes, hoping he wouldn't have to tell her more.

Jane bit her lip, tears threatened to spill from her eyes but she couldn't tell if it was from happiness or embarrassment, "I had sworn to myself that I'm content, With loneliness. Because none of it was ever worth the risk. But, you are, the only exception, You are, the only exception, You are, the only exception…" her voice trailed off when the box clicked open slightly. She leaned against her desk, her mind hazy. "I never knew that message still sent… Why didn't you ever tell me?"

He took her hand and set the box in her palm. "Call it embarrassment. Uncertainty. Whatever you like."

She bit her lip, her heart racing from excitement and nerves. Flipping the lid up, she saw a clear visor with a silver support sitting in the blue interior. "You… you got me a visor?" she smiled before biting her lip.

"I programmed it like mine. It has all the same readings that mine does, well, did. I'll just need to update it for the additions I've put in mine since I bought this. I also put a sub-link to mine in it... Do you like it?"

"Garrus! I love it! I know I had said to you that I wanted one but I never thought you would actually do it." Her fingers ran along metal frame. "It's beautiful."

Garrus took the box from her and set it on the desk. Lightly, he plucked the visor out and held it to her. When Jane leaned forward, he fumbled slightly trying to find the right placement as her fingers touched his to help him.

She looked around, trying to get used to seeing the information on the side, "This is awesome. Hey, I can see your heartrate now. God, when I realized you could see that I was worried every time I was around you that you would notice how my heart raced."

"I noticed but I didn't know why."

"Good," she smirked. She looked down, her fingers touching the visor, "I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what?"

She looked at him, "You held onto this for two years and… I lost the weapon I gave you."

"It wasn't your fault. You couldn't even get yourself out…" he watched her hang her head again. "Besides," he took her hand and pulled her into his lap, "You gave me the best gift this year anyway." At her questioning gaze he pressed his forehead against hers, "You."

She chuckled under her breath, a little embarrassed at the color rising in her cheeks. She really wanted to tell him what she felt but instead settled for giving him a kiss. "I love this. Thank you." She saw his mouth open to reply but he was interrupted by a sound chiming from her console. Frowning at it, she looked at Garrus who nodded for her to go ahead and answer it. She turned and sat in his lap, hearing him huff in a laugh. The message was from the Illusive Man.

Shepard,

It has come to my attention that you will be receiving an invitation to a prestigious event in the next twenty-four hours. I believe you will require a gown for said event so I am putting one on hold for you on the Citadel that you may pick up at your leisure.

-The Illusive Man.

She stared at the message, What could that mean… she leaned to the side to look at Garrus, "Did you read that?"

Looking over her shoulder, he read the message and had the same confusion on his face. "What is that supposed to be about?"

"I have no idea."

"Anyway…" she shook off the odd message and put her arms around his neck, "As much as I am enjoying this, we should probably leave."

His hands absentmindedly ran over her legs and sides, "I guess we should. Should I leave first or...?"

Again, he was cut off by her console making sounds at them. She let out a groaning sigh but when she looked at the screen a calling connection with a different name popped up. "Oh no…" Jane muttered.

Garrus looked at the screen and saw the incoming call from Hannah Shepard. Jane had jumped up and he had followed, the chair rolling away from him. "What do you want me to do?"

"Uh… um… just go sit on the couch and don't make a sound."

"Hey," he held her hand, "it's going to be okay. Don't stress out."

"Yeah, ok, sure. Just get over there, please," she scrambled for the chair to sit down and opening the message before it timed out.

Jane checked her appearance in the camera and smoothed down the stray pieces of hair, "Hello, Mother. How are you?" She said a little out of breath from her nerves. Her mother looked back at her, a tense, forced smile on her lips.

"Hello, Jane. I am well, thank you."

A silence followed, long enough to make Jane question if the connection had been dropped. "I, uh, wasn't expecting to hear from you." She waited for her mother to continue the conversation; at the very least, ask how she was.

Hannah cleared her throat, "You look healthy."

Jane swallowed hard, "Thank you," she said clearly, careful not to let her voice shake. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Garrus's head twitch, wanting to look at her to comfort her. "I'm sorry I couldn't speak to you earlier."

Hannah nodded in acknowledgement, "I assume you still cannot speak of it?"

"At least not over this connection. I can tell you the next time we see you"

"Mhmm," the older woman said. "So, I guess I can assume you have John with you? You did say 'we'."

Jane glanced down before nodding, "Yes. He recently joined the crew. If I knew you were calling I could have called him up.

"Of course he's there but we both know he won't speak to me," she sighed. "I suppose the next time I speak to him will be when I see you. If you drag him there." She paused again, "Speaking of which, I am hoping to see you at the Citadel."

Jane couldn't hide her confusion, "Are you expecting to be at the Citadel for a while?"

"I will be for five days during the Council's Unity Gala. It is in two weeks. I hope you have been planning for it."

Shepard stared. She had never paid much attention to the Gala before, but, then again, she had always been tied up in Alliance dealings; it only happened every five years. Usually only politicians or high ranking military members could attend; any remaining spots would be bought up quickly unless you were lucky enough to be invited. Jane had never attended and assumed she never would. Even after earning the name "Savior of the Citadel" it hadn't even crossed her mind. The Gala had been proposed by humans when they received their embassy in the Citadel. It hadn't taken hold until the asari hosted one of their own thus prompting the other Council races to host it the following years. Now, with humans receiving their own council seat, it seemed appropriate that it should return to them at this time.

"I didn't even realize it was an option," Jane finally stammered out.

"Well, if you weren't so hard to reach, you would have already been informed of your invitation. Granted, the events surrounding you also made things… complicated."

Jane looked away nodding. This time, she saw Garrus stop what he was doing and look. He readjusted in his seat silently. She glanced at him before continuing her gaze away from her console, shaking her head just enough for him to read. "If I do have an invitation I would be happy to go."

"Good," Hannah gave a genuinely excited smile. "I'll go ahead and pass along to you that you can invite your crew, given that they are well-behaved… There are some rumors circulating, I hope you know."

At first, Jane thought she could guess who they were about, but then she realized it could be about any of them, "Don't worry, they will be."

"I hope so. Anyway, I will be on the Citadel a few days early so I will have a dress on reserve for you since I doubt you will leave yourself time to get one. You don't have to feel obligated to use it but I would appreciate it if you did."

That means to get it, Jane thought.

"And, Jane, I do hope that you put some effort into this. Get your hair and nails done. You know this is a big deal. Especially since humans are hosting it, once again. You will be quite in demand with guests so I hope you have a good, short, description of what happened the last two years. Not too detailed but you can't be too vague either."

"Yes, Mother. I'll make the appointments as soon as we finish and I will have something prepared."

"And, be sure you get your brother there," Hannah's voice didn't sound as cold. "I would like for you both to be there," she said sincerely. "This is a very big deal."

Even through her mother's calm demeanor, Jane could tell that her mother was still upset with whatever had been going on the last two years. "Mom, what did happen between you and John?"

"Ask your brother."

"He… hasn't really spoken to me. Hardly anyone, really."

"I think he needs to work on it in his own time."

Jane wanted to roll her eyes, or sigh, anything to show her exasperation but she knew she couldn't in front of her mother. She was about to bring up another topic but her mother spoke first.

"So, in addition to your invitations, do you think you will bring a date?"

"Uh…" Jane looked up at Garrus who slowly turned to her with what could at best be described as a turian style 'shit eating grin'. She looked in another direction so her mother wouldn't guess that someone was with her, "I really don't think…"

"I know… I figured it would be unlikely that you would have a date. I just wasn't sure if you would have reached out to anyone from your past or not. Someone that knew you before."

Shepard bit her lip to hold in a chuckle and forced herself to not look at whatever Garrus's expression was currently. Looking away, she hid her face enough to compose herself before turning back with her expression once again calm, "I suppose that would have been a possibility. If my situation hadn't made things complicated," she added.

"I see…"

Jane didn't like the expression her mother held.

"Well, I will let you go. Thank you for talking to me – finally. I am looking forward to seeing you at the Gala."

"It will be good to see you again, Mother. And it will be interesting to finally see what the Gala experience is."

"Yes, and maybe," Hannah sighed, "if you would consider it, you could have your hair done with some braids." She smiled, "The way your hair looks now does look pretty. I love you."

Jane smiled back, "Thank you. I love you, too, Mother." When the connection closed, Jane covered her face with her hands and leaned back in her chair. "Why?" she moaned. She felt Garrus's hands on her legs and assumed he was kneeling in front of her again. She hadn't even heard him move.

"Does this mean I can go as your date?"

Jane took her hands down and put them on his face, "It's not going to be fun. I'm betting it will be a lot of kissing ass and dealing with the politicians."

"That was a little redundant," he said as she nodded. "Either way, I would be happy to go with you in any manner. As your crew, as your date, whichever you are most comfortable with."

Jane bit her lip as she smiled. Putting her arms around his neck she kissed him on the mandible, "I would love to be able to introduce you as my date. But somehow I don't think John would appreciate it."

"Then I better tell him now."

"You can try," she laughed, "So, tell me," she looked at him and narrowed her eyes, "do you even own formal wear?"

"Umm… no. At least not here. I'll find something."

"What does turian formal wear look like?"

"Usually, a form of military wear. Clan colors are also incorporated into turian style suits if military is not worn. What do humans wear?"

"If someone is military they will usually wear their formals. Otherwise, it is black suits with ties and women will usually wear formal dresses, those tend to be long."

"What will you be wearing?"

"I thought I would be wearing my military uniform. I would have assumed my mother would want me in that as well but it sounds like she wants me in a gown. I suppose the Illusive Man thought that too."

"Do those dresses tend to be black to match the suits?"

She shrugged, "I think most of the time women tend to get black because it does seem more elegant but there is no set color. And before you ask, I don't know what my dress will be, it sounds like my mother will have it picked out. Whatever will fit me and look half decent, I guess."

"You sound so excited. I can't wait."

"Hmm," she smiled, "I bet you can't. Well, I guess I need to invite the crew now. Find out who wants to go."

"I bet Jack will be first in line," he chuckled.

Jane rolled her eyes, "If I can get her into formal clothes without her cutting out sections of the suit or dress she's in."


John was back in his room now, if you could call it that. He had been searching for Garrus but finally had to give up when it seemed that no one had noticed him around the ship recently. He's probably off hiding somewhere. Maybe brooding over some turian issue. He laid down, unsure what to do so he would probably just sleep. True it was a little early but nothing else was going on. He closed his eyes, trying not to think about any of the crew.


"Hey, do you know what this is about?" Tali asked Jack as they entered the elevator.

"No idea, but hopefully it's not something Cerberus related. Granted, on this ship it's almost guaranteed," Jack rolled her eyes.

"You never know," Tali said, "But did you notice last night that Shepard seemed a little odd?"

Jack shrugged, "I mean, maybe. I guess it was a little late to come for rounds."

"I don't know, she said that it wasn't rounds, she just wanted to talk with us but she seemed really relaxed. Feeling more refreshed, maybe?"

Jack chuckled as they exited.

"What's so funny?"

"Just thinking about what – or who – could have caused that change." She looked over at the quarian and even through the mask saw her confusion. "Maybe she got some dick – " the doors to the conference room opened on her last word and all eyes looked to the new guests. Jack heard Tali yelp but the convict wasn't even ruffled. Her eyes found Shepard standing at the front of the room then drifted over to the turian who standing one person down from Shepard's end; they both seemed casual enough.

Some stood closer to the table, other stood far off to the side. Grunt was to their immediate left, seeming to try and stand as far away from everyone else as possible and Samara was on their right, seeming to have a similar idea. Miranda and Jacob stood close to the front, near Shepard (on her right) with Kelly Chambers near them – Perfect little Cerberus crew there, Jack rolled her eyes. John was standing on that side too but closer to the middle of the room, farther away from anyone else and next to him was Dr. Chakwas. Thane was on the left of Shepard between her and Garrus. Mordin was on that side as well, muttering to himself and seeming to be doing mental calculations, occasionally looking around the room. Kasumi stood closer to the table on Shepard's right. It seemed a little odd that Kasumi would put herself in the center of the room but it seemed to be the only space left; she waved Jack and Tali over.

"Hope you weren't waiting for us," Jack said.

Jane smiled and looked at the time, "Close enough to on time. Alright, Joker, you with us?"

"Aye, aye, Commander."

"You sure you don't want to be here with everyone?"

"Eh, seems like it might be a little crowded with everyone. I know I have new legs but I would rather not join a mosh pit to test them out."

Jane smiled, "Alright, well, since everyone is here… I have an announcement to make. I assume most of you are familiar with the Unity Gala. For those of you that are not, it is a celebration for all the species to come together. Right now, only the Council races fund the event but it is always held on the Citadel so more species can attend. High ranking political leaders are always invited and then a few more tickets get given out after that but for everyone else they are very hard to get a hold of and not only that but are expensive as well."

"I got in once," Kasumi said, then felt all eyes on her, "I wasn't invited. I broke in, just to see what it was like. I couldn't even stay for half an hour though, security was on me almost immediately."

Jane nodded with a light smile, "Well, besides Kasumi, has anyone else been or know of anyone?"

Silence answered her question until a small voice piped up from the side, "Have you?" Kelly asked.

"No, I have not."

"Really? Not even after the Blitz? And your family was never invited?"

Jane hung her head for a moment, "No. None of us were. But, now we do get the chance. All of us do."

Again, silence hung around them before murmurs began to mill around. Kelly was the first to speak up again, "How?"

"We have been invited. None of you are obligated to go but if you would like, we can all make an event of it, for ourselves."

"Do you really mean that you were invited and we are all your plus… whatevers?" John asked.

Shepard nodded, "Yes. I was invited and was told that I could bring my crew along. You don't all have to give me an answer now but it would be helpful to know in the next twenty-four hours so I can let them know."

"Well, you don't have to ask me twice, I'm in," John smiled.

"Mark me down, too," Joker added.

"Alright," Jane smiled, "you don't all have to answer right now so you can think about it. We'll be heading to the Citadel after our next mission and will dock a few days before the event. If you have any questions, feel free to come find me."


Jane looked at the list of responses for who would be attending from her crew; the turnout would be disappointing. She had really hoped that more had said yes and was a little surprised they hadn't. Her guest list included John, Joker, Garrus, Thane, Jacob, Mordin, Chakwas, and Kelly. She found it a little surprising too that the men would outnumber the women. Grunt she hadn't expected to join, the same with Jack. Kasumi had explained that she was pretty sure she was permanently off a guest list, no matter who tried to add her. Samara said that she wouldn't be able to be around all the politicians without being able to enact her code. Tali and Miranda hadn't given her an explanation which also seemed a bit odd.

Now, they were heading back to the Citadel and she had to not only physically prepare but mentally as well. Her nerves were shot. Maybe she could try to have a social event for the crew; something to help them bond. It seemed that many wanted to have nothing to do with one or more of the others. It was not the cohesive group she was used to before. I can still try… she thought, but first…

She looked up from her datapad and eyed her surroundings. She was down in the mess, trying to be a little more visible. Jane and Garrus hadn't sneaked away again and had limited their interactions to rounds or timing their meals together. John had unfortunately gone back to ignoring both of them, hiding out in his quarters so no one could bother him. Looking over at Miranda's office, Jane got up, cleaned up her space and headed over. Entering the office she noticed Miranda barely glance her way.

"Shepard, to what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Just came by," Jane took a seat, "Wanted to check in."

Lawson paused and narrowed her eyes at her guest, "Uh huh…"

"Well, straight to business, I was a little surprised that you decided not to attend."

Miranda almost smiled, "So that's why you're here."

Jane grinned.

"I assumed that someone working for Cerberus wouldn't be all that welcome at an event celebrating unity," Miranda tried to explain.

"Unless you wear that get-up," Jane gestured at Miranda's skin-tight suit, "I don't think anyone would know. You don't exactly have it tattooed on your forehead."

Lawson sighed, "I… didn't want to say yes and make anyone else regret their decision." She watched Jane's brow furrow at her, "I've told you before, I know people don't like me. I may not have Cerberus tattooed on my head but 'bitch' certainly seems to be there."

"Maybe this is your chance to show everyone. Take a break from the Cerberus – and bitch – label."

"I guess you are right, but it's too late now."

Jane smiled, "Nah. I told them to hold two more tickets in case someone changed their mind."

"How do you even manage that?" Miranda asked, genuinely impressed.

"Because I'm still the 'Savior of the Citadel'. Might as well use it to my advantage."

"Oh… well… thank you."

"You're welcome. And since you will need a new outfit, you can come with me when I get mine." Jane got up, "I'll let you know the time when we dock."

Miranda watched her commander leave. "Why are you being so nice to me? I haven't given you any reason to tolerate me," she said just before Shepard left.

Jane shrugged, "Yeah, and I haven't been the best person either. But everyone deserves a chance to be seen."