Chapter 54: History is Written By the Victors
[scene: The couch at the O'Sama house. Jeddy has just spoiled the ending of the tragedy of Selenity and Endymion]
Neffy: Knock it off Jeddy. Prince Endymion…Beryl, would you like to tell the story?
Beryl: [catty smile] I would, but I'm still trying to live it down.
Neffy: [To Zoi] You asked who Endymion was. Endymion was a bedslave. One of Beryl's favorites. Unfortunately she lost her head a bit. She dressed him in finery and took him everywhere like her little lap dog. She doted on him so much we started to wonder which was the real slave.
[Neffy gives Beryl a look and Beryl makes a face at him]
Neffy: At first we all found it pretty funny. Until she brought him into our diplomatic negotiations with the White Queen, and he struck up a secret flirtation with the White Queen's daughter. Princess Selenity.
Zoi: Wait…did you just say the princess's name was "Selenity"?
Jeddy: Oh, you've heard the story already?
Zoi: [uneasy] No.
Neffy: An odd name I'll admit. It's a portmanteau of Selena and Serenity so in moon dialect it meant "serene moon goddess." She was a pretty thing. Tall and leggy with long platinum blond pigtails. Anyway, Endymion had this foolish princess convinced he was the Prince of the Earth.
Jeddy: Not one country, the entire Earth. Beryl's slaveboy told her he was prince of the entire Earth. And the stupid fool at it up with a spoon.
Neffy: We all thought the whole thing was pretty funny. But we weren't so amused when he stole all of our battle plans and gave them to the White Queen's daughter.
[He glances at Beryl who makes a point of looking away]
Kunzite: [strokes Zoi's hair] The thing you have to understand is that we were attacking under the cover of a truce. The White Queen had a Silver Crystal that had the power to destroy Mother and she intended to use it. The attack was to get this Crystal away from her.
Jeddy: All those preparations, all those spells, all the horoscopes and auguries Nephrite had cast, all the best laid plans, undone by a prettyboy slave on the make with his gullible little princess.
Kunzite: Victory had been assured, only because we had the element of surprise. Once we discovered the betrayal, I had to move up our attacks, so we could take out her guardians before she had a chance to use the crystal.
Neffy: I don't know if you've noticed this about your man or not, but he's not the most rational thinker when he's backed into a corner. And believe me, his back was in a corner. It all became very disorganized very quickly. The battle might have gone another way, had we not had those disgusting Blackmoon traitors working for us on the inside of the palace.
Kunzite: Still, the Silver Crystal, the prize we hoped to achieve, was destroyed by the White Queen the moment Mother tried to snatch it out of her hand. The White Queen was killed and Mother was diminished, nearly to the point of death.
Jeddy: Needless to say, Mother was furious. She demanded Beryl deal with Endymion and Selenity personally. Beryl did so. Endymion and Selenity died cowering in each other's arms.
Neffy: All was forgiven. Until Mother discovered that Beryl has collected Endymion's corpse and was using her healing magic to try to bring him back to life. She said she knew he'd betrayed us, but she still loved Endymion, with his coal black hair and his sapphire blue eyes. She told Mother that if she brought him back to life, she'd tamper with his mind and make him the most loyal soldier the Dark Kingdom has ever known. Even this Mother was willing to overlook. Until Beryl made the mistake of asking Mother for her help in resurrecting him.
Jeddy: Rule One of the Dark Kingdom: NEVER ask Mother for a favor.
Zoi: [looks at Kunzite] Really?
Kunzite: [pets Zoi's hair] We obey Mother. Mother does not obey us.
Neffy: Rule two: If you are stupid enough to ask Mother for a favor, don't ask her to bring someone back to life.
Kunzite: Mother decides who lives and who dies.
Jeddy: Asking makes her assume you don't understand that. Not only will she not bring someone back to life, but she'll curse you for your sheer audacity.
Neffy: But in this case Beryl had incurred enough of Mother's wrath that she was willing to make an exception. She brought Endymion back to life, and granted him eternal youth….except she refused to restore the function to his brain. So Beryl got her wish, but Endymion was a vegetable.
Jeddy: What was it Mother told Beryl? … oh, yeah …"Enjoying being married to your corpse husband."
[Jeddy and Neffy burst into laughter]
Beryl: [making a face] You're lucky I'm over it.
Neffy: Beryl had to feed Endymion, wash Endymion, change Endymion's diapers… not personally, of course, she had servants. Still. She could only stand about a week of that before she tossed him into a kiln and reduced him to a pile of ash so she could move on with her life.
Jeddy: After that, Beryl had the sense never to lose her mind over a man again.
Beryl: I'm so over Endymion. I don't even remember what he looked like.
Zoi: By any chance did he look like Mamoru Chiba?
Beryl: No. No he didn't.
[Kunzite and Neffy's eyes open wide and they start howling with laughter]
Neffy: Yes he did! He looked exactly like Mamoru Chiba!
Kunzite: I knew there was another reason I couldn't stand that guy.
Beryl: [thinks about this and shudders] Oh, dear… I've passed that guy in the hallways a thousand times and never looked at him once. All that fuss…
Neffy: It just goes to show you what I've always known. Love is an illusion and a dangerous folly, and it's to be avoided at all cost.
