A/N: I GOT MY NEW LAPTOP GUYS. It's all setup, and I'm back to writing! Plus, I moved all my docs to Google (as well as backing them up to my external HDD) so that I can access them anywhere from any device. Anyway, I sincerely want to thank you guys for your constant, continued support. It's amazing and I cry about it sometimes. Like, seriously. I've had some shit going on and life has been weird, as is the usual course for us all, and you all keep me afloat. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Also, I know this chapter is shorter than usual, but it's the right length to get it's point across. We're seeing a transition in Shinpi's character (in my opinion) and from this point forward we'll see more of her relying on her support network like a semi-functioning adult.


Runa held her breath, her back pressed to the thick trunk of a nearby tree. She listened as the man laughed. She heard Amon-Shinpi's reply and bit her lip to keep quiet as tears began to stream down her face. This woman...

The disparity between them had yet to ring so clear. Amon-Shinpi was willing to die to protect her. not out of love but because she felt it was the right thing to do. And here Runa was, hiding, afraid. She had been getting stronger, even Hiei had said as much. said so why then? Why was she crying here and not helping. Peeking around the trunk, Runa stared at the bubble of green containing the demons. Her body refused to move forward, her voice refused to call out as the dark haired woman smirked at her captor.

She had told Runa to run.

So that's what the younger wolf demon did.

The snow had begun to fall from the heavy grey sky as she rushed toward the temple only to find the demon she needed just creating the steps laden with canvas grocery bags. Stumbling to a stop, Runa hurled herself into Hiei's path, her blood racing and her breaths coming in pants. He took one look at her and rolled his eyes.

"What sort of demon gets scared this easily? Show some pride." Hiei grumbled.

"Its Amon-Shinpi." Runa spilled her message in a hurry. "She's hurt."

"What do you mean? Where is she?" Hiei frowned.

"In the woods. There was a demon with a sword. She pushed me out of the way." Runa rambled as coherently as she could. "She told me to run so-"

"So you did." Hiei stripped off the bags with a snarl, shoving them into Runa's hands. "Like a coward you let her take the hit for you and then you left. Fucking useless."

Hiei took off, leaving Runa with Yusuke who shifted uneasily under the burden of his own haul. After a moment he strolled around her, making his way toward the temple. "Come on kid, we got work to do."

Runa followed at a shuffle, Hiei's words biting through her. He was right. She was a coward. She had ran and abandoned the woman who had saved her. This wasn't working. Mukuro had been wrong to send her here, to assume that she could be transformed into a fighter, into someone useful. That much was clear now. A fighter would have stayed, would have helped. But she had ran. She ran today just as she'd run the day Mukuro found her.

Mukuro was wrong to believe in her and now Amon-Shinpi was paying the price.


Hiei tore through the forest with a snarl firmly on his face. Runa had seemed shaken. The fact Shinpi had sent her away but hadn't followed made him grit his teeth. This goddamn woman was going to be the death of him. What had been so damn…

He slid to a stop and lost his thought. The snow had begun to collect on the ground. It melted under his careful steps as he walked forward, eye glued to the scene he'd found. It took a few seconds for him to process what he was seeing.

Shinpi stood limp, a sword pushed through her abdomen and into the tree behind her pinning her upright despite the definite sag of her unconscious body. A blue knife, dusted with snow, lay at her feet next to the husk of whoever had attacked her. Hiei toed the body, noting the stain of fluids painting the man's skin and the coloring the snow around his corpse. The smell was rancid. Hiei had never dealt with anything like it before. The salty, metallic tang of blood, the pungent mix of urine and other unsavory fluids.

Slowly, he lifted his eyes to study the woman herself. He didn't want to see her. He didn't want to understand the bluish tinge to her fingers and lips, the stain of red coloring her jeans and the ground under her, or the translucent quality her skin had adopted. The snow didn't melt where it rested against her hair.

He didn't want to be there, finding this. He didn't want to know what it meant.

They had just come to an understanding.

Her stitches hadn't even come out yet. Carefully, he brushed the pad of his thumb over the sutures.

Nothing. Not even a wince or groan in her sleep.

No heat in her lips.

"You fool." Hiei lowered his hand, balling it into a fist at his side as he glared at her. "You complete, utter, fucking fool. How could you do this?"

He swallowed and shook his head, trying to navigate the rampant thoughts overtaking his brain. Goddammit. What was he supposed to do now? She couldn't be dead. Her task wasn't over. Hiro was still alive. He was still alive. He tried to force himself to think. A pulse. That's right. Shinpi should still have a pulse in this body. He frowned and pressed his hand to the side of her neck. Nothing.

Just last night her pulse had hammered when his lips pressed to this spot. Just last night she had been warm under his hands, laying against him.

"Like this." Kurama's voice announced his presence just as he reached around Hiei to press two fingers against the pulsepoint in Shinpi's neck. "You have to do it like this, Hiei."

Hiei nodded, following the foxes lead. Frowning he pulled his hand back. "Nothing."

A softer gasp turned him toward Yukina, who stood with her hand covering her mouth, Kuwabara at her side looking pale as the snow still falling and coating the world around them. Hiei turned back to Shinpi and reached for the sword to be stopped by Kurama's hand.

"She'll die." Kurama told him. "We have to keep it in place until we are prepared to move her."

"She can't heal if that damn thing is stuck in her." Hiei jerked away.

"She won't heal at all if she's dead." Kurama told him firmly. "She'll bleed out, Hiei. This body is still human, remember. We have to treat her like it for now."

Human.

Hiei stepped back and allowed Yukina to rush forward. There was the faintest sign of breathing, a barely noticeable rise and fall of Shinpi's chest. The blood staining her clothes was still warm. She wasn't dead yet, but at this rate it was only a matter of time. He found himself helpless, only able to watch as Yukina did her work.

Of all the feelings he'd hated since meeting Shinpi this one was the worst. Helplessness. How weak. It was a useless sensation.


"I've…I've been here before." Shinpi stared up at the ancient tree, it's softly lumiscent white blossoms swaying in a gentle wind. The cracked bark of the trunk felt familiar under her palms. Welcoming.

Looking around she found the tree in a place that she knew in her soul but had never been herself. There was no castle here, no bustling city full of lively citizens. No market full of vendors or children running about. Just the thriving tree and the grass under her bare soles that felt soft as moss.

"Yes, you have." A voice sounded behind her and she turned slowly to greet its owner. Green eyes crinkled as the observed her, red-brown hair tied back in thick plaits. "This is where we come when we die, darling. I admit, I'm broken at seeing you here again so soon."

Again?

Shinpi stared at her grandmother, Aina. Oh yes, that's right. She'd been here then too. When she fell to the bottom of the chasm of her own creation. When she failed.

She had forgotten.

It was only then that she realized the hair caught on the wind was a fiery red, blowing around her face. She stood taller than the wizened old woman. Extending her hands she studied her long nails, the tips rounded points. Her tongue ran over her teeth, fixating on her sharp canines. Then she touched her ears, massaging the pointed tops.

Dying.

She frowned and allowed her hands to drop to her sides, curling her fingers into her palms.

Failing.

Again.

"Are you taking care of your grandfather?"

That voice widened her eyes, and immediately the tears started to form. That soft, loving voice. That warm, large hand on her shoulder. She spun around to face her father with glistening eyes and apologies spilling from her tongue.

"I'm so sorry!" She cried, stepping back from him. "I failed you. I failed all of you. I let them kill you. The whole point of the war was to keep everyone safe and I-"

"Shh. Stop." Fingertips traced her jaw, her mother smiling at her softly. "You always carried so much burden, darling. It is not your fault that we were killed."

Shinpi tried to stifle her tears. Tried to accept their words, but couldn't.

Instead she did what she did best. She evaded the problem.

"Grandfather is safe. I lost him for a while, but I got him back." She explained to all three of them. "He's with someone I trust."

Her parents shifted and offered each other sly smiles. It was her father who spoke. "Oh yes, that boy of yours."

"Hiei isn't a boy. He's a man." Shinpi huffed, crossing her arms. "And he's a damn good one too."

"He's younger than you. I had always imagined you with someone older." Her mother bit her thumb, teasing. "But it seems you've made your choice there."

Her choice? Oh right. She had chosen Hiei, hadn't she?

Hiei.

He must be so angry with her. She looked at the tree again. "How did I get here?"

"Aishling is with you." Aina explained smiling. "I doubt he knew it, but by giving you a piece of the tree your Hiei gave you back to us."

The necklace.

"I thought it would help ground you."

"Where is Kin?" Shinpi turned to them. And immediately her heart sank, her soul growing heavy as they avoided looking at her.

"Your brother…" Her mother turned to look at her father.

"He wasn't buried with us. He wasn't given the rites." It was Aina who answered after a tense breath. "We do not know where he is."

A chill ran down Shinpi's spine.

Hiro…Hiro hadn't buried Kin? He hadn't bothered to give her brother her family's funeral rites? He knew that Kin couldn't connect with their ancestors without a proper burial. He knew! Kin was trapped somewhere between, alone. Forgotten by everyone but her.

And now Hiei.

Her teeth bit together.

No.

"I will find him. I will fix this." Shinpi declared, lost in her fury and pain for the moment, her mind focused solely on this task. "I will face Hiro and I will save Kin."

"From here?" Her father asked quietly. "Hichi, you're-"

"I die when I'm ready to die." She barked at him, lifting her head. "I refuse to go down like this. I refuse to fail again."

"I was hoping you'd say that." Kichirou admitted with a small smile. "But you can't do it alone."

"I'm not alone." Shinpi told him firmly, planting her feet and widening her stance as her brows came down in her determination. "I have Hiei. I have Yusuke and Kurama and Kuwabara. I have an entire platoon of friends who will not let me go quietly."

"It's about time you learned how to work with others." Aiofe nodded. "Team work has never been your strong suit."

"I don't have the luxury of being stubborn anymore." Shinpi looked back to Aishling, the eternal connection between her and her family. She touched her breastbone where she knew the necklace lay on her physical form. "And I can't afford to die yet."


Hiei grew still, turning himself into a living statue, as Shinpi's hand raised from her side to wrap around her necklace. Her cobalt eyes peeled open, barely, just enough to meet his.

"I'm in your hands, darling. Don't drop me." She barely the managed the words around her winter-ravaged throat, the taste of copper and bile overwhelming her tongue. "I need you, Hiei."

Kurama, Kuwabara and Yukina hushed themselves and stared.

"I'm here." Hiei nodded once, coming out of his stupor, he rested a calloused palm against Shinpi's cheek. "I've got you, Shinpi."

She sagged again, unconscious and their efforts to unpin her resumed in double time. Hiei checked her pulse again and again and again, each time finding it stronger than before. It was too soon to feel relieved, he knew that, but damn was it hard to combat the sensation. This woman. This stupid, feral, pain in the ass woman choosing him. Relying on him.

This woman was such a mess.

But she was his.

And he wasn't about to lose her to something as benign as death.