A/N - Okay. So pay close attention. Because...
I mean this is where it really just gets fucking messy.
DISCLAIMER - I do not own Naruto
Song used for this chapter – Devault - Closer
The night of the party, Tenten was texting me. She didn't know what to wear, what overall seemed silly, but I helped her as she sent me picture after picture of the options to choose from. Eventually we both decided on something and she informed me Temari and her would be coming by to pick me up soon.
I had texted Sakura earlier, asking if she was coming along. I figured if she was, instead of wasting gas she could ride with us. But she had gone dark and her last text message was hours ago. It didn't matter much. I wanted to spend time with her, but ultimately it was my friends I wanted to be with. All this talk about being the last new years as seniors was beginning to get to me, and I had this overwhelming feeling of spending most of my time with them.
Of course we had the rest of the year together, but their views couldn't be ignored.
My parents were lodging in the living room on the couch when I walked down. They had a few snacks out with balloons and even some drinks. Again I felt guilty for not spending my night with them, but they only smiled when I came down. My father mentioned I should have more on, but my mother only commented how pretty I looked.
It wasn't much, just some jeans and one of my nicer shirts, but I appreciated the complement. Maybe my flats paired more nicely with my outfit than I gave myself credit for. I was never big on going all out on dressing up, I'm sure Tenten would disapprove of my attire. But as long as mom was sending me off with her blessing it seemed enough for me.
Tayuya had gone dark as well, which didn't worry me but I was hoping we'd talk more. But there was no reason to, I suppose. We would see each other later tonight.
When Temari finally pulled up in her jeep, I was eager to leave. The bonfire was all I could see when I hopped into the ride with them. Tenten in the front seat was already grinning as I got in, and Temari had commented that I might have wanted to bring a jacket. She was right of course, but I figured if I was cold enough we could all gather around the fire when it came time to it. Plus, I didn't feel like lugging it around when it got too hot. The last I remember, the cool breeze wasn't enough to cool me down that night.
Naruto and Sasuke had checked in that they were on their way, but slightly delayed with picking up a few of the supplies. They were in charge of few snacks so we could have something to munch on while we were there. Tenten had taken care of the blankets, and Temari with most of the booze along with some fireworks. Supposedly they were the good kind, not the cheap ones you saw most people pop on the streets.
I texted Sakura again, because despite everything that had happened I was really hoping she'd make it. That, and Tenten and Temari were asking if she'd be able to come. As I predicted, they truly did like her company and were hoping she'd be able to swing by as well.
But again I wasn't met with any sort of reply.
As suspected of my friends, when we pulled up there were already cars there. How they spread the word, I had no idea. School was out, and it always seemed like the next party was heard of by chance, but when we rolled up it was like the entire thing had been planned from the beginning. The only difference was that people were still in their cars waiting, and the second they saw Temari they started to pile out.
A lot of them were from school, which made sense. A few loads of cars were unfamiliar faces, but they were all welcomed into the chatter. Nothing wrong with making new friends on new years eve.
Eventually, we found ourselves in front of the huge pit the last bonfire was at. Not only Tenten, Temari, and I, but a huge handful of everyone else were gathered around it. Temari was talking to a group to the side that were here before, asking how exactly they created it the first time around. As she worked magic, I stood with Tenten, who chattered away about nothing particular.
"I'm glad you chose that outfit," I commented while looking her up and down, "You look really good in it."
"You think?" She asked nervously, looking down at herself along with me, "Because seriously, I'm questioning our decision."
I laughed, "Well I like it, but who are you trying to look so amazing for? Another boy you have your eyes on?"
Her eyes only pulled to the side as she mumbled, "Not exactly."
My gaze wandered to where she was looking, and with a blink I realized it was Temari. I had almost forgot about her confession during our winter getaway. Snapping my attention back at her, I asked, "What's going on with you two now, by the way? Have you told her?"
"No," she replied miserably, "I planned on it the other day at another party, but of course some other girl came up to talk to her when I was about to say it. She's entirely too popular."
"Aren't we all?" I joked.
"Yes, but she's on a different level," Tenten grumbled. "She, like, attracts the female species every where she goes. It pisses me off."
"You know, the only way to keep them away is if you tell her how you feel," I sang while nudging her rib, "What's up with you anyway. Since when do you give a second thought of telling someone you like them?"
"Since Temari," she replied with a scowl, "She makes it into some sort of game, like she's trying to sweat me out. I can't tell if she knows or if she's always been that way."
My thoughts lingered to all the conversations I've had with Temari. Laughing, I shrugged, "Maybe a bit of both. But if you keep stalling, the right girl is going to come up and steal her away."
"Stop," she groaned at my teasing, "It's already embarrassing enough."
I only laughed some more, but to show some comfort I wrapped my arm around her waist, "Don't worry. You're entirely too attractive for her to even be looking at any other girl. Especially in that outfit." Tenten peaked at me with such self consciousness I found it cute. Insisting my statement was true, I told her again not to worry. She didn't seem any less uneasy, but a bit of confidence sparked in her eyes.
Finally, out of no where, my phone buzzed with a message. I eagerly checked who it was from, whether from Sakura or Tayuya I would be excited that I was finally out of the dark zone with them.
It was Sakura. She informed she was on her way.
I told Tenten the good news.
"Great," Tenten beamed just as Temari was coming back over, "The whole gang will be here then."
I found it endearing that she spoke of Sakura as a member of the gang, and I beamed back. I guess, since they met her, she was.
"Alright, the guys over there said they'd set up everything for us, which is good because I didn't have a clue where to begin," Temari informed as she stopped in front of us, "And Naruto and Sasuke just texted me saying they were here. So everything is all set."
"Time to party?" I asked with excitement.
"Hell yeah it is, we just have to start the kicking tones," Temari replied with a small smile of her own, "We had too much to carry first go around, so I'm going to go grab the speakers real quick. Try to stay out of trouble." With a pause, she gave Tenten a charming smile, "Especially you, darling. You're middle name is trouble."
Tenten only looked away in a flustering response. So cute. I don't think I could ever get used to her looking so unnerved like that. Not my bold speaking Tenten that I was so used to seeing.
Minutes later, Sasuke and Naruto were heaving the cooler they brought with them. I greeted them both with hugs. We saw each other just the other day, yet it still felt like forever. When I told them Sakura would be making it, they looked genuinely excited. The only thing I could think of was the look on Sakura's face when I told her how much they liked her company.
Eventually the party became full fledged. More and more people trickled in, and despite the bonfire illuminating the night sky, the people who popped the occasional fireworks added to the light. But I told Temari to hold off when she offered to pop the ones she brought.
The night had just started after all.
There was no rush to add to the fun just yet.
X
"Where's Sakura?" Naruto asked as he plopped next to me on the blanket.
He caught me just as I was checking my phone, asking myself the very same question. It had been at least an hour since her text that she was on her way, and while I knew the drive here was long it shouldn't have taken her this long to make it. On top of that, I was back in the dark zone after sending three individual text messages asking if she were near and if she was okay. Honestly, I was trying not to worry but it was getting hard to swallow down the uneasiness in my stomach.
"I don't know," I sighed out in reply, slipping my phone back to my lap, "She isn't responding to my messages, and her last one was an hour ago."
"I'm sure she'll be alright," Naruto assured while taking another sip of beer, "I was just asking because I'm assuming that's why you're just sitting here all by yourself?"
"I don't want to miss her message when she finally says she's here," I explained, taking a small sip of beer myself. It only made my stomach churn worse, "She wasn't with us last time and I wanted to walk her through the woods to help her find the lake."
"Ah, I guess it works out," he shrugged while giving the coolers a lazy point, "Someone has to watch the stash. Not sure where everyone else is."
"Um, I'm pretty sure their somewhere in that," I answered with a small laugh, pointing at the huge mob fest of a 'dance floor' right near the shores of the lake. It looked like utter chaos, but also crazy amount of fun. I had planned on dragging Sakura in there whenever she got here.
Naruto laughed as well, "Yeahh, I doubt I'm drunk enough for that. But, when I am. Save me a dance?"
I gave him a sweet smile, "Of course. But I'm sure you'd force me to either way."
He winked, "You know it. And hey don't worry about Sakura. I'm sure she'll be here soon."
I sighed, "I hope so."
With that he got up and wandered off again, along with taking his blockade from the wind. I shivered before pulling one of the extra blankets around me. Temari was right, I probably should have grabbed a blanket.
Biting my lip, I grabbed my phone to check for the hundredth time if Sakura had replied, even though I knew she hadn't. But just as I was unlocking the screen, an incoming call blinked the right before my eyes. To my absolute relief, it was from Sakura.
"Sakura, where are you?" I rushed out while looking towards the woods, as if suspecting her to be right behind me. She wasn't.
"Hey, sorry I just got here," she replied, her engine cutting off in the background, "Shit worth of cars out here though, I'm pretty sure I parked pretty far. Where are you guys at?"
"You have to walk through the woods to get to the lake," I answered while standing up, "I'll come get you."
"I'm sure I can find my way," she offered.
"Um, no I'm coming to get you Miss I don't want to answer text messages," I shut down with a glare, already walking within the woods, "What the hell, Sakura."
"Sorry, I was driving," she laughed, but I didn't find it funny at all, "Plus, I dropped all sorts of service and got lost without my phone showing me the way. That's what took me so long."
"Whatever, I'll see you in two second so I can smack you for worrying me."
She only laughed again, "Of course, I can't wait."
When she said she parked far, she was kidding. I knew a lot of people showed up, but the sea of cars were something awe worthy. But I didn't let it distract me from the main purpose I quickly made my way to Sakura. As promised, I smacked her shoulder and scolded her for going ghost for so long. Of course she only laughed and apologized the entire walk back. But I wouldn't hear any of it. I was actually starting to get worried that something happened to her.
Her attire was as usual. A pair of jeans and a superhero hoodie,but to my absolute surprise the Superman symbol sprawled across her chest. Confused, I asked her why she choose to wear the one superhero she hated. She only smiled slightly as she answered.
"It's for my brother. As a truce, he wore Batman and I wore Superman on new year's eve. My parents always took new years seriously. Said we should start it off right. Which meant no arguing."
My heart squeezed slightly at the mention of her older brother, "I'm sorry. I didn't know."
"No need to be sorry, I just want to keep the tradition alive," she replied with another grin. But I could tell as I walked next to her that it was off slightly. No matter how easily she spoke of her brother, I could always hear the twinge of sadness in her tone.
Hoping to help her forget, I slipped my hand across hers and laced our fingers. Smiling, I pulled her as I pecked up the pace, "Come on, the gang has been waiting on you too."
Unfortunately, when we got back to the blanket and our coolers, no had bothered to check back in yet. It didn't seem to bother Sakura much. Actually, she was entirely too excited about seeing the bonfire to wait around, so we ended up wandering over there together.
The gleam in her eyes as she stared at the raging pit was almost too child like not to laugh. But she didn't seem to mind, actually she was completely engrossed in the flames to even care. She commented that the picture I sent her last time hadn't done it justice, and I had to agree. Some things in life you just have to be there to witness it yourself.
I was glad to be standing so close to the flames, the wind was starting to pick up and saying it was chilly out was an understatement. The temperature only seemed to drop as the night went on, and by the time we reached the blanket again I was shivering. Sakura offered her hoodie, but I had refused. It was my own fault for not bringing my own, after awhile she stopped taking no for an answer.
"You're going to freeze to death," she complained as she attempted to hand it over for the third time, "I can't just sit here while your cold."
"You'll get cold, though," I replied with a pout, pulling the blanket around me.
She rolled her eyes, "If it gets too bad for me to handle, I'll grab the spare from the car. Honestly I should have grabbed it the second I saw you didn't have one. It's only there because of you."
I smiled slightly as I finally took the offered hoodie, "You still keep it in there?"
"Yes, miss I'm so cold all through out the year," she teased with a smile, "What else am I supposed to do when it's such a hassle giving up mine?"
"Well thank you, jerk," I said as my head popped through, relishing in the warmth, "No seriously, thank you. This warmth is moan worthy."
She laughed, "I'm glad, but I can never win. I'm a jerk if I don't give up my jacket, and I'm a jerk when I do."
I only shrugged, refusing to offer her comfort. She only laughed some more.
Eventually, finally, when it seemed like forever had passed, the group had began to trickle in again. Of course they were only back for more beer, but me and Sakura had gone through three each as we talked waiting on them to show. As expected they gave Sakura a very over exaggerated welcome. I was starting to get jealous, they were never this excited to see me.
We drank some more as we all spoke, but eventually the conversations grouped into individuals. Temari and Sakura were chatting away while me and Tenten were gossiping about some latest news. Naruto and Sasuke had managed to wander off again, but I wasn't too concerned.
Because the things I was hearing from Tenten were way more interesting.
"Wait wait, what," I backed up in total disbelief.
"Yeah," Tenten frowned, causing me to get extremely annoyed and give Temari a sidelong glare. Tenten stopped me, "No it's alright. I didn't ask."
"No she should have been dancing with you in the first place," I replied heatedly with a hard frown, "She said she would, right? And it wasn't like you were dancing with any other boy. You weren't, were you?"
"God, I can't even tell you how much I'm turned off to all the boys that come up to me," Tenten said in exasperation, "It's so stupid. I get one small crush on her, and I literally don't even want to have fun with anyone else."
"That's understandable though," I attempted to comfort, but she only scowled.
"It's pathetic. Like I have to be entirely too hung up on someone if I'm turning down dances hoping she'd dance with me."
"And that isn't such a bad thing either. It just means it isn't that small of a crush you have on her, and there's nothing wrong with that," I assured, giving Temari another glare. She caught me this time around, giving me a questioning glance. I only responded with another hard frown. I will definitely be giving her a few choice words.
"Whatever," Tenten eventually sighed out, "I'll just try to have some fun. Was just a bit bummed out that the whole time we were over there I didn't get to dance with her once. I'll get over it."
Not bothering responding with a reply, I only gave her another sympathetic nod and an offer to another beer. I knew if she even caught whiff of me thinking about talking to Temari, she'd tell me not to. So I'd just have to do the work low key.
High key though, I was about to hurt Temari's feelings. Tenten was my baby, and as a mother I was getting a bit agitated with Temari's behavior.
"So what's up with you and Sakura?" Tenten asked as she sipped on her beer, "Did you guys talk about the fight yet?"
"It was hardly a fight," I reminded, shaking my head at the memory, "But yes we did talk. I kind of set some boundaries. Told her even though we are talking and things are progressing, she can't just throw a punch whenever Tay does something."
Tenten nodded, "Yeah, I was thinking the same thing. I mean you guys are pretty much dating, but if you haven't said the word yet, she can't really do anything."
"I kind of feel shitty though," I admitted, glancing at Sakura. She seemed to be in a deep conversation with Temari. "I felt like I have been leading her on this whole time, and I promise you I wasn't. It's just. Things started to get really complicated. Tayuya and I got way more close than expected after she came back."
"Where did she go?" Tenten asked curiously.
I blinked, realizing I hadn't told any of my friends what had happened. Biting my lip, I took a breath and told her the short version of the story. She looked pissed by the end of it. I tried to assure her that I was fine, but it only brought more frowns to her lips.
"What the hell, she leaves for almost two months and all this shit is going down?"
"I know it sounds horrible, and I know no one will understand," I began, tailing off as memories of the nights Tayuya sat at the end of the bed, tired look in her eyes as she stared into space with a frown on her lips. Swallowing, I continued, "But I know she did it for a reason, even if I don't know what it is."
"If you say so," Tenten replied with a doubtful look, "But if you ask me. Tayuya had that punch coming."
I smiled slightly, "Maybe, but I feel like I'm the one that deserves it the most."
"Don't let either of them pressure you, Ino," she only said, taking a sip of her beer, "Just because all of this is happening doesn't mean you have to give in. Hell, at the end of it you can end up alone. It's your life."
Her words were of some comfort. I gave her a grateful smile. She only gave me a wink of return. Strangely, it reminded me of Temari.
I glanced at my phone, seeing it was starting to get close to midnight.
And even closer to seeing Tayuya again.
X
The party went on and I was having a blast. As promised, I gave Naruto a dance, including Sasuke. But I mostly danced with Sakura. No matter if we went to a thousand of parties, I would never get over how well she moved. Dancing with her always left me breathless and tired, but I could never stop. I was drawn to how she would grip my hips, lay her chin on my shoulder, whisper in a way that would force me to shiver.
But when the songs went on, I forced myself to stop. I was already beyond toasted, and I didn't want tonight to end just like the last party we went through. Though the aching I was having me think otherwise.
Still, new year new me, as the saying went. I refused to do everything as carelessly as I had in the past. I knew I had to be careful, especially with Sakura. She was very convincing when she wanted to be.
Despite that, she allowed me to pull her away from the mosh pit we called a dance floor on the lake. But I could see it in her eyes, the only reason she was being tugged away was her eagerness to have another beer. It was good that Temari generously stocked. She could easily drink all of us under the table. Maybe her hair color related to the Irish.
Just as we rolled up, Tenten gave me a nervous look before darting her attention to Sakura, "Hey, you owe me a dance."
Sakura blinked, completely caught off guard, "Wait, what?"
"Yes, see I've danced with everyone here," she informed, avoiding my slightly suspicious gaze. "And that only leaves you. So, where's my dance Sakura?"
Sakura gave me a quick look, but I found myself shrugging despite my inner annoyance. Which, I didn't understand where it sprouted from anyway. Tenten was like this all the time, and she was way closer than a best friend. It isn't like she would try anything. Honestly.
Yet watching Sakura follow her tugs pulled a bit more annoyance with me.
Huffing, I brushed it off and went for the cooler, aiming for another beer. But I stopped mid step as I realized Temari sitting there, watching me steadily with two beers in her hand. She moved to hand me a beer while slipping her gaze to the seat next to her.
"Sit down, Ino. Let's talk."
Oh?
She had to talk to me with that oh so serious tone?
What a coincidence.
"Funny, I was just thinking we needed to have a very long discussion," I scowled while taking the beer and sitting next to her.
"Is that so?" She drawled conversationally as she took a sip of her beer, "And what did you want to talk about?"
"About these games you're playing," I said causally, but even a random stranger could hear the animosity in my voice. I wanted it to be clear that I was pissed at her.
"Funny," she commented calmly, "Because I was just about to approach you about the very same subject."
I scowled again, "What are you talking about?"
"I'm talking about this silly little tug of war you have going on with Sakura," she answered, eyes slipping to mine to catch my reaction.
My face twisted as I repeated, "What are you talking about?"
"Me and her had a very long talk about what exactly is going on between you two..." she paused, still watching me, "And apparently between you and Tayuya."
So many things came to my mind at the confession, foremost anger, followed by irritation, and ending with a sense of my defensive side springing at the mention of Tayuya.
"A talk?" I repeated, frown slipping my lips as I tried to keep my voice steady. "And what exactly did she tell you?"
"Enough to make me question what the hell you're doing. Who the hell are you playing the victim for?" She asked flat out, irritation in her own eyes.
I jerked back at the accusation, "And who said I playing the victim?"
"You are, don't pretend you aren't. You're sitting here acting like you don't know what you want, but two seconds ago you give Tenten this dirty look just for touching Sakura. Why are you drawing this out?"
"I'm not drawing anything out," I bit out, my anger starting to bubble, "And I was just suspicious why she was asking Sakura for a dance out of no where. Now I know it's so you can talk to me about absolute bull shit."
"So you think it's bull shit too huh? After everything Sakura went through, you strolling right back to Tayuya is like the ending of some bad joke. Ino, honestly, I'm asking as a friend. Why the hell are you putting yourself through this if you already know who you want?"
Her question only solidified my rage like feelings. Swallowing, I said as slow and as calmly as possible to avoid a fight with one of the closest friends I had, "I'm glad you think I know, but I don't. And thank you, honestly. This helped me figure out that Sakura didn't understand anything about our talk on boundaries. Literally nothing."
"Don't put this on her, I came up to you out of my own irritation," Temari informed with a frown, "Now I'm seeing what exactly you're trying to do. After hearing her story, that talk included, and listening to you, it's almost too obvious. But Ino, there is no situation where you keep both of them. You're stalling to figure a way out, but I'm telling you there isn't. And there isn't a complete happy ending either. You're going to have to deal with that."
"And you're going to have to deal with the fact that Tenten is going to move on if you keep fucking with her like some chess match," I spat back, tired of being attacked. "You're talking to me about games, but you're playing the biggest one with her. She sat there and complained the entire time that you didn't dance with her once and that's all she fucking wanted tonight. A single dance. Instead you're dancing with other girls and making her watch like she'll stay frozen like that forever. Telling her to talk to other guys she finds at parties because you don't have balls to tell her how you seriously feel about everything. You don't know, Tenten. If you think she'll stick around for this bull shit-"
"But I do know her," Temari cut off quietly, standing up and glaring down at me, "And I'm attempting to be patient with her, but she's just like you. Drawing it out. Making it all much more complicated than it needs to be when all she needs to do is open her mouth. So you can see where the irritation is sprouting from. Why I'm not taking all of this lightly. Because I'm feeling me and Sakura are in the same boat. Figure out what you want Ino, or keep Sakura at arms distance."
"Get out of your own head for two seconds, and tell Tenten how you feel," I countered with a glare, void of all intimidation as she hovered over me, "Before I tell her the right thing to do, to walk away before she gets hurt by the game you're playing with her."
"You're a fucking riot," Temari mumbled, holding my gaze, "Because that's exactly what I told Sakura to do."
My mind went blank as her words hit me like a train. I tried to contain the searing pain before it burned all the way through, but I couldn't. Frowning, I took a step away and snatched my beer from the cooler, turning to leave.
"Yeah sweet heart, sit on that one for awhile," Temari grumbled, allowing me to leave.
"God shut the fuck up, Temari," I spat back, turning mid step, "For someone who pretends to know every move to take, you still haven't taken a step towards Tenten."
"My problem, not yours," Temari shrugged, irritating me even further. Because, literally, she was right. All of this was my problem! Not anyone elses.
So I left.
Ignoring everything we had just talked about.
Trying to ignore everything we had just talked about...
But her words were stabbing my chest repeatedly. Every freshly dug grave spotted in my heart was starting to unsettle again. Pouring out what I thought I left behind. What I thought I managed to handle, to deal with, to understand.
But now, as I walked away from the lake and tried to keep myself together as the ghosts were starting to attack, I realized I didn't understand anything. That I was only deluding the truth to myself.
That Temari was right, and I was still stalling for my sake.
And I hated the fucking guilt that wanted to rip my chest apart.
I hated the fact that Sakura decided to stick with me when I tried to keep her away for a reason. Kept a wall up for a reason.
Hated how Tayuya was still stuck in my head after everything she had done. Hated the look in her eyes as she sat at the edge of my bed. As if she were beating herself up. As if she were hardly breathing past all of this with me. Like she was struggling just like I was.
But how could either of them possibly understand this. This what I'm going through.
I wanted to escape.
I was done.
I've officially reached my limit.
So I did the only thing to get away from all the ache.
"Hello?" Tayuya answered within the second ring.
"Is there a way for you to get here?" I asked quietly, "I... I need you."
There was a small pause before she said flatly, "I'll be there within the hour."
Sigh... Fuck... Alright.
Take a breath.
Here we fucking go.
