Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Naruto characters or places. I only own the characters from Earth/our world. Even then, they are based on actual friends of mine.

Author's Note: This was a fun chapter to write. Zysea Zodiac in my guild on GaiaOnline made the comment: "Just can't have a good Naruto fan fiction without Team Gai. It would be just too serious otherwise." Too true, dear, too true. Thus, in the spirit of Team Gai, I present to you this chapter. I recently realized that "Maito Gai" is usually "Mighty Guy" wherever I find it on information sites or whatever, but that just makes me feel weird writing . . . so I'm going to stick to "Gai" since personally, I think that's better than "Guy". Sorry if that offends anyone for not being perfectly canon, but yeah . . . I could have sworn I saw "Maito Gai" somewhere or other. Hmmm. (shrugs) Anyway, I hope you all enjoy the absolute torture Jowan went through to make this chapter!

Chapter 55: Death by Training

JOWAN

"I don't do spandex." Those are my first words to Gai when I meet up with him and his team this morning. He looks a bit disappointed (Lee too), but I hold my ground. There's not a snowflake's chance in Hell I'm wearing that. I don't do spandex!

After shaking off my preemptive rejection of the "uniform" he was sure to attempt to get me to wear, Gai blinds me with his teeth, strikes his "nice guy" pose, and declares rather loudly, "You are so full of youth, Jowan! Together, we will harness that youth to make you a splendid ninja!"

Lee mimics his sensei's pose, echoing, "Yosh! A splendid ninja!"

I wince, shielding my eyes from the glare of their shiny teeth. "Um, thanks?"

Gai then tests my strength by pitting me up against the Second Green Beast of Konoha. That's Lee for anyone who doesn't know, though I think everyone should, since he's always declaring it when he introduces himself to people, right? Lee stands across from me in the training grounds and slips into his signature fighting stance. "I shall do my best not to hurt you, Jowan. It would be most unyouthful to harm a friend, even if we are only sparring."

Waving a hand dismissively, I -- being a bit too cocky, I admit -- scoffed, "Yeah, yeah. Let's just get this over with, shall we?"

Well, we do, and our little duel is just a big bottle of joyous fun. Because of his speed, I can't land a single hit on Lee. That's probably a good thing, since I don't really want to hurt him when I hit him, which I probably will by accident since I haven't really figured out how to reign in my strength. That's the last thing I want -- to break Lee's bones -- again. The people of Konoha -- and his team even more so -- probably won't be too happy about that. Lee might brush it off, exclaiming how youthful I am to be able to land a hit like that on him, but I don't want to hurt the guy.

Like he said, it'd be most unyouthful to harm a friend, even if we're only sparring. Gah! Wait! No! I just used 'unyouthful' in a sentence! That's not even a word, is it? It's a Gai-Lee-ism. I can't be using Gai-Lee-isms! Those are just -- ah! I'm being corrupted already!

Anyway, we end up destroying most of the training ground. Rather, I end up destroying most of the training ground by the time Gai calls us off. At first he seems impressed with my abilities, but when he sees how worn out I am from five minutes (Seriously? Just five minutes? It felt like an eternity!) of constant fighting, he declares our training schedule for the rest of the day and for as long as I'm with them. Apparently, we're going to be building up my endurance.

That shouldn't be too bad.

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OH. DEAR. GOD.

I have discovered the greatest -- or rather worst -- method of torture in all of both worlds! There are no chemicals, mind-bending drugs, or angry yelling involved. Though there is pain -- a lot of it -- it's not the sort that can be easily tuned out and ignored. It's not sharp and stabbing but slow, throbbing, and absolutely everywhere. I hurt in places I didn't know existed! If anybody chose this moment to interrogate me, they'd find me perfectly willing to spill my life story. I'd tell them anything they might want to know -- and maybe even some things they wouldn't. I'd be a living fountain of information.

Forget Ibiki. His methods are nothing compared to this. They should put Gai in charge of interrogation. People would spill their guts just to get away from him!

Torture. Absolute torture. What did I do to deserve this? I know I punched Jiraiya through the Hokage's window, but Tsunade's surely done that a thousand times and she's never had to go through this nightmare. Right now -- and please kill me if I ever admit this out loud -- right now I'd give almost anything to be training with Jiraiya again. I can take the perviness. I don't care. Just get me away from Gai!!!

I really should have noticed and started worrying when Neji and Tenten mysteriously vanished before the training started. First the push-ups. Then the sit-ups. Now the running! My arms and legs are going to fall off if this keeps up any further!

Lee jogs past me, turning around and jogging backwards so he can talk to me. "Keep it up, Jowan! Do not let your youth fade! This is the fifty-seventh time I have passed you!"

"Who's counting?" I grunt in return, dragging my feet onwards in a slow, painful jog. Each jarring time my foot hits the ground, pain shoots up my leg and back. This is really going to hurt in the morning.

"That is not a very youthful attitude, Jowan," Lee starts to chastise me.

I lift a fist and growl at him, "I'll show you 'not a very youthful attitude'. Just come a little closer, bushy-brows."

Lee -- curse him -- just laughs, turns around, and keeps running, rapidly vanishing into the woods with me dragging along behind him and muttering not-so-kind oaths under my breath. After a few more minutes of this, I collapse to the ground, laying on my back and staring up at the sky through the trees. "That's it," I pant. "I give up. No more of this torture."

I don't know how long I'm lying there before exhaustion overtakes me and I allow my eyes to slip closed, muttering, "Two hundred laps around Konoha is murder."

Sleep. Ah, glorious sleep. If it was a solid thing, I could kiss it right now. You can't be in pain if you're unconscious, which is really and truly a blessing. It's so wonderful, beautiful, and --

Someone gently shakes my shoulder, pulling me from my relaxing nap and back into the painful world of training with Gai and Lee. I seriously consider punching whoever it is into next week, but the person's voice makes me hesitate.

"Jowan? Are you alright?" I recognize that voice . . . low and flat. Neji.

"Oh, no, they've killed her!" a female voice then exclaims. "I knew we shouldn't have left her alone with those two."

"She's not dead, Tenten," Neji sighs, shaking me gently again. A touch of concern enters his voice. "Jowan, can you hear me? Wake up."

I crack one eye open to meet his and groan. "I was enjoying being asleep, thanks."

Neji chuckles softly, helping me to sit up. "You shouldn't lie down and sleep until you stretch your muscles out. If you do that, then you'll be in some real pain when you wake up -- worse than you surely are now." He pulls me to my feet, apologizing when I wince. "Sorry, but it's for the best. Come on. Tenten and I will help you."

And help me they do. The two of them slowly walk me through the various stretches to loosen up all the muscles I've used today and help them relax. At first, it hurts worse and I can't bring myself to go all the way through the various stretches, but then Neji steps over to me and pushes me gently onward. Ow ow owowowow! But then it stops hurting and suddenly feels absolutely wonderful. I feel like melting right there, especially when he jabs his fingers into a certain pressure point and my whole body seems to relax.

"Whoa," I sigh. "You're a miracle-worker, Neji."

A small smile twitches in the corners of his mouth as he reaches down a hand to help me up. I accept it and he tugs me to my feet. Ow. Okay, forget feeling better. My legs are still killing me. Neji chuckles softly at my expression. "You'll get used to it."

"Actually, I'm siding with Tenten here. They're going to be the death of me," I throw a friendly smile at the girl in question, who's been awfully quiet since I woke up. She gives me a forced smile -- more like a wince, really -- and returns her attention to the path we're walking.

Does she not like me or something? Maybe, or maybe she's just jealous that Neji's paying so much attention to me. I mean, it's canon that she likes him, right? So, having him show interest in anyone else is bound to make her jealous. Wait. Neji's showing interest? In me? My thoughts grind to a halt as this bubbly warm feeling rises in my chest. I resist the urge to squeal like a fan girl and perform some joyous victory dance. One: that would probably chase him away. Two: that would be way too painful in my current state.

So I just keep walking and act like everything's normal -- or sort of. Being in the Naruto world is definitely not 'normal' for me, but I can keep my hopes up, right? Okay, scratch the walking part. Replace it with 'limping.' Yeah, I'm definitely limping along. Man. I probably won't be able to sit down for a week after this. Curse you Gai and Lee with your training regimen of doom! I shake my mental fist at you! A plague on your spandex suits! May they chaff where the sun don't shine!

I'm snapped from my mental ranting as Neji takes my arm and puts it over his shoulders, wrapping one of his around my waist and taking most of the weight off of my legs. I blink in surprise and he merely states, "You're slowing down again."

Awww, he cares. I smile and let him help me without any argument. For a moment, I feel a slight killing intent directed at me, but Neji's eyes snap in Tenten's direction and it abruptly vanishes. I swallow but refuse the urge to look over at her. I will not be intimidated by the weapons mistress who could make me look like a porcupine in a split second if I'm without any protection and she feels so inclined.

Okay, never mind. I'm intimidated, but I won't let her know. That works.

We make it back to the main thoroughfare of the Leaf Village and Neji adjusts our course to take us to the Hyuuga compound. This is another point that Tenten isn't very happy about. I'm staying with the Hyuuga -- with Neji. I know it's mainly on the premise that they want to find out why my eyes look so much like theirs without me being either one of them or blind, but I'm still happy with the fact that I'm sleeping under the same roof as Neji. [Insert fan girl squeal here.]

Before we make it there, though, Tenten speaks for the first time in a good while. "Hey, they're back." She turns toward a group of very familiar people and waves an arm over her head. "Hey! Naruto! Welcome back! It's good to see you're back safe!"

My heart skips a beat. Naruto. Ashley was with the team that went to save Asuma. Naruto was among those assigned to that team. I'm almost scared to look now -- to see whether or not she's with them -- safe -- sound -- alive.

Feeling me stiffen, Neji glances over at me with concern in his eyes. "Jowan," he asks softly, "are you alright?"

I don't answer him. Instead, I draw a deep breath to steel myself for the worst and turn to face the approaching group of shinobi.