Indifference

Clawdeen tries to admit to her friends that she is genuinely asexual, and Toralei pulls a nasty prank that earns the ghoulfriends' wraith as a result.

When people talk about how they came to the realization that they weren't straight, they can usually identify an age. I really can't; it just never clicked. I wondered if something was wrong with me, but bringing it up usually fell into the categories of "It's okay, Deenie, you'll figure it out some other time." "That's a good thing, Clawdeen, you don't need to run around with boys at your age." "There are already four kids in this family giving me grandkids, at least I don't have to worry about you."

My family was one thing, my friends were another.

We were sitting at lunch when it happened, like any other Thursday afternoon. My brother and my best friend were snuggled up, pretending they didn't spend their free period having sex in the back of the library. Don't ask me why it was a favorite hookup spot, it just sort of was, and the smell clung to the outdated encyclopedias because of it. There was dust in her hair, and he had that stupid grin on his face. Venus must've noticed since she was lamenting about how as soon as people remember about the pollen, they stop wanting to go out with me.

Then, Frankie said, "I know, I mean, back in the day, all people needed to hear was "full moon" and Clawdeen was off the market."

My head perked up. "No they didn't."

"Well, when you guys were the only werewolves, yeah. I guess they thought you were, like, PMS-y. Clawd would always rip up his uniform and stuff at games, so-"

"I don't think anybody thought like that, Frankie."

"There's too much competition," Draculaura replied. "Don't take it personally, Venus. There are just a lot of available, non-threatening girls around."

I didn't want to point out that of the "available, nonthreatening" girls in the pool, I couldn't think of anyone who fit both circles of that diagram. From the curve of Venus's lips, she could tell 'Laura was bullshitting her too.

"You could always date each other," Howleen piped up. Venus looked at her like she'd grown a second head. Maybe being around all that pollen was starting to get to her brain.

"As much as I like ya, Venus, I'm cool."

"We could always speed date," Draculaura replied, pointedly to Venus. After the last fiasco, she wouldn't dare. Her eyes turned to me; maybe she would. That little monster.

"I mean it," I hissed through clenched teeth, "I can make my own decisions. I don't have interest in finding anyone for myself. I am actually really happy with my life."

"You don't sound like it," Frankie pointed out, like siding with Draculaura was going to win any arguments.

I grabbed handfuls of my hair and pulled them up and back. "Maybe that's because you two are so obsessed with getting everybody set up and making everything perfect for yourselves that you don't consider reality. Not everything is an episode of Dead-grassi; I don't need to be attached at the hip to anyone to be happy. Is that so hard to understand?"

"Maybe one day," Frankie muttered.

"No, hun, not one day. I genuinely don't want anyone that way. Okay, yeah, maybe one day it would be nice to have someone to share a house with and a life with, but I mean happiness, not claw-each-other's-clothes-off bull." They stared at me blankly. Draculaura and Cleo I'd expected, but could my own sister really care? "Is that all you measure the value of your life in? Whether you have someone to have sex with you?"

Cleo's attention turned not-so-subtly to Draculaura. She went red, and Clawd tucked her under his arm. "No," he answered for them both, "We're not that shallow."

"Then stop acting like it."

Ghoulia's head rose slowly and she looked at me sidelong. I felt the fur on the back of my neck bristling. She nodded slowly and lowered her gaze. Cleo caught the look, though, and nudged her best friend slightly. She was too kind for that, though, and muttered something to her about how they would discuss it at another time. Cleo looked at me and narrowed her eyes, picking apart everything for a sign of what her friend understood. I could see it from the tilt in her head that she was trying to find somewhere between "lesbian" and "pregnant." I twisted my sandwich crust into a ball.

I didn't realize the hybrids had been exchanging looks until Sirena floated up the isle and murmured over my shoulder, "Do you think you might be asexual?"

I froze in my seat. That was all she needed; she patted my head and gave me a chilly hug around the shoulders that smelled of dampness. Cleo's gaze softened and she tilted her head a bit the other way; for as much as she hated Toralei, she certainly moved like her sometimes. "Is that all?"

"What?" Draculaura asked, intent on being a part of the conversation.

"Clawdeen is asexual," she replied. I didn't know what I was more surprised by, the casual, aloof tone like they were discussing last season's fashion, or the fact that Draculaura looked at my brother like he should've told her before she went to all the trouble of trying to set me up with Thad. Not that Thad wasn't nice and all, but he wasn't…there wasn't a spark. Maybe that was why we hardly spoke anymore.

"I can't say I'm surprised," Venus cut in. "The most popular plants usually don't need a pollinator."

Frankie choked on her drink. Leave that to be the first time she actually recognized a sex joke.

I looked at them all the way Cleo looked at Ghoulia. "You guys aren't…?"

"Honestly, Clawdeen." Draculaura rolled her eyes and smothered her toasted bread in hummus. "Your sexuality is your business. Besides, there are worse things – like my dad's plaid golf pants."

Maybe I was being suspicious, but I highly doubted the vampire almost as influential as the king of the undead owned plaid golf pants. Then again, stranger things have happened. Our friends laughed, and I finished my food. When the bell rang, we all got up and went to our respective classes without any mention whatsoever of my little outburst or Sirena's not-so-helpful hint. We sat through Mr. Where's too-intense Spookspeare lesson, and before anyone actually had time to fall asleep, it was over. Just one more class to go, and I could go home and think over how lucky of a break I got. No one asked how it was possible, no one made any stupid, snide remarks about how I'd grow up and regret saying that one day – my friends were just that awesome.

Draculaura was talking about coming over to study for the Mad Science exam while I spun the dial back and forth on my locker. I nodded at her, pulled the latch down, and slid it out of the door.

They came pouring out of my locker by the bucketload, smacking into the metal door and rattling on the floor loudly. Quite a few skidded across the hall. A few went under the opposite lockers, and one slid over by the water fountain where Jackson had been standing. He stopped leaning in to stare down at it. The water splashed into the drain like an obscenity, and the entire hall was silent. Not whispers-and-video silent, but pin-drop-audible silent. If any had bounced off me, I didn't notice. They were clustered at the bottom of my locker and around my feet, they made me drop my lock, and they sat there, in about fourteen different colors and six different sizes. There must've been more than thirty. The one under the water fountain was pink, and it buzzed lightly on the floor like it was angry. Laura's face was hot. There were tears in my eyes.

Then the whispering started. Someone raised their phone, and I got the hell out of there before anyone could take my picture. Poor Jackson was red too, but I didn't stop to apologize. I ran into the girl's bathroom and latched the farthest stall behind me.

I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what to think; mostly, I wanted to sink down and cry. Being challenged at sports, told off, insulted for my species, that was one thing, I could handle that. Having a bunch of sex toys jammed in my locker was not something I thought I'd deal with. I didn't mentally prepare for that.

I heard laughter, a trio of it. My lower lip was trembling. I might've been tough on the field, but I put my foot on the toilet seat and climbed up on top of the back. I smoothed down my skirt and put my butt on the little ledge created by the pipe, hoping that the cats didn't see me and accuse it of being a sex act. Hot tears ran down my face. Someone rushed into the bathroom, and I heard the click of heels landing on the tile.

"What the hell is wrong with you? That was low, even for you."

"Oh come on, that was fun. We just embarrassed her."

"There's a difference between embarrassment and being an asshole, Toralei. Embarrassment is correcting someone publically on a mistake they made that they were sure of and telling them why they're wrong, being an asshole is filling up that poor girl's locker with plastic dicks."

"They weren't all plastic." Her voice was choked like she was going to laugh again.

"Why don't you pick one up and shut yourself up with it?"

After a pause in the laughter, Toralei went on the defense. "If you're going to stop being ladylike, you should stop beating around the bush and do it all the way."

There was an even longer silence from the other speaker, and I heard in the lowest, most fiersome, I-dare-you-to-mess-with-me tone, "I was under the impression it was you who had the fetish, pussycat."

Her nails clicked on the sink as she got up. Someone inhaled. Maybe they were about to fight, but Cleo's heels stomped in, and she wasn't alone. Someone slapped someone else. Toralei yowled; must've been her. All of a sudden, all hell broke loose; people were shouting over each other, and Jackson yelled awkwardly from the hall, "Guys? What am I supposed to do?"

"I'm going to skin you and use you for a rug, you ignorant stray!"

"Bite me, crazy cat lady!"

"That's my job."

"You think Sparky's intimidating us? Come on! If you want a fight, fight! Don't stand there talking about it! That's what got your dads nearly killed."

I got down and jammed open the locker. I grabbed my bag and stepped out into the isle, but someone punched Toralei. All hell broke loose. There must've been blood; Draculaura staggered back, and, seeing me, ran down to grab my hand and pulled me out of the room. "Come on, we've got to go get the Headmistress!"

"What's going on?" I replied, "What the heck was that?"

"Clawdeen, now is not the time not curse."

We ran past Jackson on the way past. He stood there awkwardly, trying to help, trying to do anything he could, but I could understand why he didn't want to touch anything, and how he couldn't go into the girls' room.

"Wait, so Gory punched out Toralei for me?"

"She didn't do it for you," Meowlody muttered. We were all seated in the hallway in front of the Headmistress's office with a few more chairs than normal. Even Jackson sat there, and we could all tell how grateful he was to be away from that hall.

"Though I'd like to pretend we're all good here, that's likely true," Cleo replied. Some of her bandages were clawed, but she was otherwise intact. "You can't speak entirely badly about vampires, though. They do have a sense of decency."

Toralei glared at her murderously and held ice on the bridge of her nose. It was rather satisfying to see how badly one punch messed her up, even though it would probably be healed by the end of the week.

Gory stepped out of the headmistress's office and nodded Draculaura in. She walked down to the end and paused so that when the door was shut, she spoke to me. "While I might associate myself with these often-morons, I, as a vampire, cannot allow anyone to be shamed for their sexual orientation. My people are notoriously bisexual and polyamorous, so you should be happy you don't have four people to send Father's day cards to."

Cleo smiled a little bit and muttered, "No, but Mother's Day is a little awkward in my house."

"Two for Mom," Jackson muttered. "And I think Holt's mom isn't with my dad anymore, either."

"Should we even discuss Dracula?" Cleo replied.

"Thank you," I said. They all paused; it wasn't to anyone in particular, but all of them. Even Toralei. I met her gaze and held it. "You know, you might've tried to do me a big favor, but there's going to be something telling by how many were missing from what they had to clean up."

"They didn't," Jackson replied. "Teachers started making people move along, and they just…"

Cleo and Gory looked appalled, and so did Frankie, but for different reasons. I looked back at Toralei, and the both of us burst into laughter. "Joke's on them, those won't even last."

"Where did you get like thirty at once? Didn't anyone think that was weird?"

"It was Rocco's idea. I can't tell you how many guys in a private school are willing to run off to sex shops and ask for everything they can put in their book bags."

I didn't ask, and no one said anything. It was probably a better idea to just leave everything in the respective bedrooms where it belonged. There were some things about my closest friends that not even I wanted to know.