Is Love Enough (ILE) – A Kish Drama

Chapter 50: An Innocent Victim

Kyle awakens, but does not open his eyes. He wants more than anything to be back in Llanview with the love of his life at his side. He is fearful to open his eyes as he recalls the events of the prior day. He remembers waking up in a jail cell, Shane being nearby and then discovering poor Zach hanging against the wall of another cell looking like a beat up rag doll. He can't imagine the amount of hate Ray has for Zach. How is it possible that another human being could do such a thing? Kyle knows the world is a messed up place, but no ones deserves what Ray did to Zach. Then he recalls the escape plan. It worked like a charm up until that last minute turn that sent the car into the air. Kyle shakes his head to try and forget the events. He begs the universe to simply let the events be a horrible nightmare. On the count of three he will open his eyes and he will be in his bedroom at his apartment and Oliver will be asleep beside him. He will hear Oliver breathing and know everything is okay. One. Two. Three. Kyle opens his eyes and dread overtakes his body. It isn't a dream. He is back in the same damp, darkly lit and gross jail cell. He looks around. Everything appears the same except the door is now open and Shane is nowhere in sight. "Shane!" Kyle calls out for the youngster. Kyle hears nothing, but silence. He screams louder. "Shane, please answer me. Please." The silence is unbearable to Kyle. Kyle pulls himself up from the old, musty and damp mattress. His body defies his every move as pain echoes throughout every limb and muscle. His mind starts to race uncontrollably. Was he the only survivor of the car crash? Was he responsible for the deaths of Shane and Zach? He fears the plan may have cost Shane and Zach their lives. His body literally shakes as he thinks of the reality of his last thought. He forces himself to stand and the room instantly begins to spin. He closes his eyes to try and steady himself, but remains standing. His body continues to shake as he panics. He inches forward a few steps, eyes still closed, and the motion sickness begins to subside. His body continues to yell in pain, but he knows he will have no peace until he finds out if Zach and Shane are okay. He slowly makes his way down the long hall of cells. He soon reaches the cell Zach was previously in, but it is now empty. He feels his gut twitch in panic. Kyle yells. "Shane. Zach. Where are you guys?" He begins to venture up the steps of the old building.

Once upstairs, Kyle exits the building in search of his escape comrades. The sun is super bright and the temperature is blazing. Kyle looks toward the gate. Somehow the gate appears as if the car he was driving never barreled through it. Was the escape plan a dream? He begins a slow and long walk to the gate. He wants to see outside the gate to see if he can see any evidence of the car accident on the other side. The sun beams down on his exposed chest. He suddenly remembers he gave Shane his shirt yesterday or what he assumes is yesterday. How long has he been down in that cell? He continues his trek towards the gate. As he passes each building he looks around for any signs of Shane and Zach. It is eerily quiet. He would give anything to hear someone's voice or any noise at all. He reaches the gate. He looks through the gate and is relieved to see that the bushes and trees across the road have indeed been trampled. He is relieved to know that the car escape did happen. He wasn't dreaming of past events, but wonders where the other car passengers are. He begins to reach for the gate with his hands.

"I wouldn't do that if I was you," says a voice from behind him.

Kyle recognizes the voice and is relieved. He turns and runs toward the vision in front of him. "Shane. You're okay. Where have you been?" Kyle brings the young man into a hug. "I woke up and called out for you."

"Sorry. I was looking for Zach. I've been looking for him for days. I didn't mean for you to wake up alone."

Kyle releases Shane from the hug. "Are you okay? Were you hurt in the car accident? How many days ago was that?"

"I'm fine. A few scrapes and bruises. The car wreck was three days ago now."

Kyle notes the bruises and cuts on the young man's face and legs. "Sorry Shane. I should have done more to protect you."

"It's fine, Kyle. We needed to get out of here and away from that man. You did what you had to do."

Suddenly, Kyle realizes what Shane said about Zach. "Zach. Where is he?"

"I don't know. I've been searching for the past two days with no luck. I think he may have."

"No. Don't say that, Shane. Zach is fine. I know it. He did not die in that car wreck. We need to go find the car and see if he is in there." Kyle puts on a brave front for Shane, but inside his body fills with fear. Did he ultimately cause Zach's death? Zach was in horrible shape when they made a run for it. Kyle isn't sure he could have survived the trauma of the car accident.

"We can't."

"What do you mean?"

"We're trapped in here."

Kyle turns to look at the gate. "I see the huge lock on the gate, but we can climb over."

"No we can't," replies Shane.

Kyle is puzzled.

"If we touch that fence huge waves of electric currents will tear through us. Part of the psycho's plan I'm sure."

Kyle's mind goes into overdrive. "There has to be a way to turn off the flow of electricity."

"There is. I'm already ahead of you on that one. Remember that you've been out of it for a few days. Follow me."

Shane starts to walk along the fence.

Kyle follows.

Several feet to the right of the gate, Shane stops. He points outside the fence with his hand. "There's the power source."

Kyle looks outside the fence in disbelief. "Wow. This guy means business."

"We're trapped." Shane's voice quivers.

Kyle notes the shakiness in the brave boy's face. "How are you really, Shane?"

"It's not about me right now, Kyle. We have to find Zach. He wasn't in good shape before. I don't want to imagine what he is like now."

Kyle wants to reassure Shane that Zach is okay, but is not certain that he is. He doesn't want to give Shane false hope.

Shane sees Kyle's concerned look. "Treat me like an adult, Kyle. You don't need to placate me. I know he could be dead."

"We don't know that, Shane. We have to keep hoping."

"My hope is running out. I only have a few more buildings to check out in this old town. Then where do we look? We can't check the car. Maybe this psycho left him out there to die."

Kyle moves around Shane to look him into the eyes. "Fine. I won't lie to ya'. That's a very real possibility, but until we know for sure let's not think that way. Lets check out those other buildings first. You've been real brave searching on your own. You should take pride in that."

"I'll feel better if we find him. We need to get you inside."

"What?"

"The sun is starting to make your chest look like a bright red cherry."

Kyle touches his chest with his hand and can feel the instant heat. "Good idea. Maybe when the sun starts to go down we can search those other buildings."

"I have a better idea. This way." Shane begins to walk back towards the buildings.

Kyle follows. "Where are we going?"

"To find you a shirt or at least what's left of one."

Kyle smiles at the statement. He feels bad smiling when Zach is in obvious trouble, but watching Shane acting so grown up and in charge is inspiring.

Several minutes later, Kyle and Shane stand inside an old boarding house on the far end of the town past the jail cell Kyle woke up in.

Shane digs through an old trunk. "I found this trunk when I was looking for Zach the other day. It has some very old clothes. They smell and are very musty but they'll do in a pinch." Shane tosses Kyle an old looking shirt.

Kyle shakes the old garment. It smells beyond belief and looks like the color of gone bad mustard, but Shane is right it will do in a pinch. Kyle throws it over his exposed chest. "I wonder why this was left here?"

"Not sure. This was the original town of Crimson per some signs I found during my search. At some point the town was relocated to its current location."

"That might be an interesting history lesson sometime."

"Maybe, but now's not the time. You ready?"

"Lead the way, Shane."

"I have searched all the buildings except the three on the farthest northeast corner. "

"Have you seen any sign of the guy who brought us here?"

"Not since the day of the accident. I woke up in the jail cell by you several days ago. I made sure you were breathing. I tried to wake you up several times, but couldn't. I figured you were knocked unconscious or something. I went to the cell where we first found Zach, but he wasn't there this time. The rest you know. I've been searching all the buildings." Shane exits the building.

Kyle follows. "This all must be kind of scary. I mean going into boarded up and run down buildings."

"Maybe, but I didn't think about it much. My mind is on Zach. He's needs me."

"He's lucky to have you on his side."

"My dad and I are lucky to have him. He's made my dad so happy these last few months. I can't explain it, but my dad is more alive than ever. I was really worried about him after mom's death. I was so mad at him for a long time for running like he did, but Zach helped us work through that. He became part of our family. I protect my family. My only regret is I couldn't be there for mom."

"You're only a kid, Shane. Don't forget that. You don't always have to be the grown up."

"Now you sound like my dad. He says that all the time."

"He has a point you know."

"I know. When I know Zach is okay for real, I'll be the kid. He needs me to be strong right now."

"Ya' don't always have to be so strong."

"Fair enough. I get what you're saying, but I want my parents to be proud."

"I'm sure they're very proud."

"Maybe," replies an unconvinced Shane. "You ready to commence the search?"

"Ready," replies Kyle.

Shane enters the first of the three buildings to search.

Kyle follows Shane inside.


About an hour later the two exit from the third and final building.

Shane's face shows his anger. He sits on the stoop of the old building. "That's it. He's nowhere inside these buildings. I hate this."

Kyle sits beside Shane. "I'm sorry, Shane."

"It's not fair. I can't believe that psycho crazy guy left him in that car to die."

Kyle wonders if Ray did leave Zach in the car or did something much worse. The reality of the situation is that they may never know what happened to Zach.

Shane shakes his head. "This will kill my dad."

"What does Zach mean to your dad, Shane?"

Shane smiles. "That's the ironic thing. I don't think my dad knows the answer to that question." Shane pauses fighting back some tears. "I think my dad is gay. I think he's always been gay. I think my mom knew. She would want him to be happy. I think Zach makes him happy. They had this connection. You could see it every time they were together."

"You're dad kind of shared that with me the last time I saw him in the hospital. You're okay with your dad being with a guy?"

"Sure. I guess. I mean I want him to be happy. If Zach can do that, so be it."

"You are so mature for your age."

"Not really. I have my moments. I'm simply a realist. You could see my dad and mom were simply going through the motions. I'm sure it was because of me. I'm not saying they didn't love each other. I simply don't believe it was enough in their circumstances. Does that make sense?"

"Sure it does. Your mom would be very proud of you, Shane. Roxy would be bragging all over this country side about how great you are if she knew how brave you've been."

"Roxy is the best grandma, don't tell her I called her that, a guy could have. She doesn't hide the truth and treats me like anyone else."

"Rox is awesome. She reminds me a lot of my own mother. Such a free spirit."

"Are you close to your mom, Kyle?"

"I was, but she died several years back."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring back bad memories."

"No, its fine. No worries. So are you hungry?"

"A little."

"Did he leave any of that food he brought in a few days back?"

"He did. It's still in the cell. I've been eating a little, but trying real hard to ration it. It won't last forever and I'm not sure how long we'll be here."

"Hopefully not long. Your dad and Oliver will find us. I'm positive."

Shane stands and something catches his eye on the hillside behind the buildings across the street. "Do you see that?"

Kyle looks in the same direction as Shane. "What is it?"

"I don't know. Can we go look?"

"Sure. It's worth checking out."

"I think Zach's in there, Kyle. Why didn't I see it sooner?"

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves Shane. We don't know if Zach is in there."

Shane takes off running up the hill behind the buildings.

"Wait up, Shane," says Kyle chasing after the young kid. Kyle's body continues to ache as he runs.

A few minutes later they reach the spot they saw from the stoop earlier.

Shane reaches down to open the door.

Kyle pulls him back. "Wait. We don't know what's down there."

"Isn't it like one of those old underground storm shelters or something?"

"That's possible." Kyle ponders their next steps. "Look. You grab the handle on the right door. I'll grab the other. On the count of three we'll open them and move back. I simply don't want anything to come out of there at us."

"Okay."

They each place their hands on the handles.

"One, two, three. Now," says Kyle.

The doors fling open, but nothing comes running out.

Shane peers down inside, but can see nothing but darkness. "Hello. Is anyone in there?"

Inside the storm shelter in a very back corner, Zach sits on the ground. His hands are tied with chains. His legs are bound with chains also. He is shaking from the cold that whips against his exposed body. The hospital gown has definitely seen better days. The sudden light he sees in the distance blinds him. The small animals that inhabit the shelter scurry away from the light. He hears a familiar voice, but believes he may be hallucinating.

"Hello. Zach are you in there?" Shane yells again. "Kyle we need to go down there."

"No Shane. We don't know what's down in that hole and its very dark. We could be walkin' into something we don't want to get involved with. I don't want you to get hurt."

"I won't be able to rest if I don't check it out. Please, Kyle. I think he's down there."

"Why do you have such a strong feeling about this?"

"I don't know, but it makes sense. The crazy guy wouldn't want to leave him in the car if someone drove by. He would want him tucked away out of sight." Shane cringes at his next thought. "To finish the job he started." Shane looks down the old steps again. "Hello?"

Zach hears the calls again. He tries to yell out, but his mouth is parched with thirst. It almost hurts to even breath in. He looks around for something to hit and make some noise not remembering that he is chained.

Back outside, Kyle decides to give in to Shane's demands. "Okay, but the first sign of trouble and we are turning around. Got it?"

"Loud and clear." Shane heads down the stairs and into the darkness.

Kyle is close behind. Once he reaches the bottom of the stairs he tries to survey the underground shelter. The shelter looks never ending as the darkness consumes it. Before he realizes it Shane is out of sight. "Shane. Slow down. We agreed to do this together." Kyle moves forward slowly.

"I knew it. Zach! It's me Shane. We're here to help." Shane runs to Zach in the corner. He kneels down in front of the chained man. "Are you okay?"

Zach tries to talk, but his mouth will not work.

"It's okay. Kyle is right behind me. We'll get you out of here."

Kyle approaches from behind. "Shane. Oh my god. Zach."

"I told you Kyle. That guy has him chained up. He can't or won't speak. We need to get him out of here."

Kyle approaches the duo and looks at Zach. "Can you hear us Zach? Shake your head yes if you understand me."

Zach does as instructed.

"Great. Do you have the keys to the locks so we can get you out of these chains?"

Zach points to the opposite corner.

"That man must have thrown the key over there, Kyle. I'll find it." Shane races off to get the key.

"Be careful Shane."

"I will, " replies Shane.

Kyle looks directly into Zach's face. "Do you know who did this to you?"

Zach shakes his head yes.

"When we get ya' out of here, ya' have some explaining to do."

Zach nods again. He feels ready to unload what he knows. He wants this all to be over with.

Shane runs back. "Found them."

Kyle is astonished. "That was easy. Maybe we're getting a break here, finally."

The two work together to free Zach from the chains. They then help him up, start the trek out of the storm shelter and begin the walk down the hill into the town.


A few hours later, Zach is laying on the cot on the opposite wall of the one Kyle woke up on earlier in the day.

Across the room, Kyle looks down at Shane who is fighting sleep. "Ya' did real good today Shane, but ya' need to get some rest now. Even super heroes need some rest. Zach will be here when ya' wake up I promise."

Shane looks over at Zach. "Is he okay? Truthfully."

"For now yes. The cuts concern me. Hopefully, help will arrive soon. We need to get those gashes treated before any infection sets in."

Shane looks back up at Kyle. "Take care of him. Please."

"I'm goin' to do exactly that. I don't want you to worry about a thing. Now sleep. Doctors orders."

Shane finally lets his eyes close. He is asleep within minutes as the exhaustion of his last three days of searching catches up with him.

Kyle stands and sighs. He walks over to Zach's bed and sits on the edge. "Hey. How ya' feeling?"

Zach jumps and opens his eyes as he feels Kyle sit at his side.

"Sorry, man. I should have givin' ya' some warning. You're bound to be jumpy."

Zach calms himself." Don't worry about it. I've been jumpy most of my life."

"So. How are ya' feeling?"

Zach attempts to shrug his shoulders, but his body revolts. He cringes in pain. "Physically, I feel like crap. I'm cold, these whip sores burn like hell and I feel like I can barely move. But, I'm beyond relieved to be out of that dark place. It's quite an experience to have mice running all around and all over you. How is Shane?"

"He's exhausted, but resting now. He'll be fine. If only we could all be a kid again and have that energy and stamina."

"I don't understand why you guys are here."

"That makes two of us then. When I woke up the first time in this very cell, Shane was already here."

"I don't get that. How is Shane involved?"

"I was hoping you could answer that. Who is Ray, Zach?"

Zach flinches at hearing the name.

Kyle instantly notes the change in Zach's demeanor. "Sorry if I hit a nerve, but I don't know what this guy is up to. Why does he hate you so much?"

Zach looks away as the images from that dreadful night where he lost his family return. He doesn't want to dredge up the old and bad memories.

Kyle can sense the pain beneath the surface and wants to be compassionate, but he also wants answers. "I told you we were going to talk. Don't let me down, Zach."

"I've worked so hard to forget. I can't let all that crap back in."

"Well, I guess that's ultimately your choice. If we get out of here though we're through with you. I've been taken away from my family and loved ones because of you. I think Shane and I deserve some kind of explanation. I don't mean to be cold, but things were going good for Oliver and me. We're adjusting to having the kids and dealing with Stacy, but we were working through it. Now I'm here. Ya' know why? Because I saw Ray wheeling you out of the hospital. I knew something wasn't right. Then I'm knocked out cold and wake up here. Quite a picnic for me! I'm sure Shane would rather be home with his dad in his own bed."

"I'm sorry."

"No. You don't get to say that to me. Not without giving me some explanation."

Zach pleads with his eyes for Kyle to let it go. "I'm tired."

"Hide then, Zach. Be a child. Push everyone away. You're good at that."

"That's not fair."

"Why? You can endanger our lives and I'm not bein' fair to you. Tell me what's goin' on here. Maybe it will help you to let all that baggage out. Why is this creep after you?"

Zach looks directly at Kyle. "Fine. It doesn't matter in the end. Ray wants me gone. He'll get his wish. He always has the upper hand. The truth is that I was the one who got away Kyle. He's here to finish the job he started some eleven years ago now. He wants me dead."

"Can ya' start from the beginning?"

"Fine. You deserve to know. You're right. It all starts a long time ago. I was seven years old and my baby sister was born. My mom didn't handle the birth well. I think they call is postpartum depression now, but we couldn't afford any doctors to tell us that. After a few months my dad simply couldn't take it anymore and he bolted. It was me, my four year old brother, my new baby sister and my mom who couldn't take care of herself let alone three kids."

"Couldn't she reach out to her parents or friends for help?"

"She could have, but she shut everyone out. I took over. I took care of us for the short term, but soon the food was gone. She sat in a chair all day staring at the television. She was almost comatose. I finally knew I had to do something. I approached her, kneeled in front of her and begged her to snap out of it. I was crying, screaming, hitting her legs with my small hands, but nothing. She simply stared forward like I wasn't even there. I sat in front of her and cried for hours. I didn't know what to do. I kept hoping in the back of my head that my dad would come back through the door at any moment, but deep down I knew he was gone. I finally got up when I heard the baby crying. She didn't deserve any of this. I did the best I could the next few days. I found a little money in mom's purse for food, but it only lasted for one shopping trip."

"So this Ray guy is your dad?"

"No! That son of bitch is not related to me in anyway. My mom simply made the mistake of falling for the wrong guy. When I was thirteen he became my stepfather."

Kyle looks at Zach and can see the pain and anger in his eyes. "I see."

Zach starts to breath heavy.

Kyle becomes concerned. "What's goin' on?"

"These cuts are killing me. They burn, sting and simply hurt."

"He did a number on you in that other cell. I need you to know I'm concerned about them getting infected."

"Great. Then Ray will get his wish. The infection will kill me and he will have the last laugh."

"No. Don't talk like that. Oliver and Rex will find us. I know it."

"I wish I had your confidence, but I gave up on hope a super long time ago."

"How can you say that? That boy right over there worked like a dog to find you the last three days. He cares a lot about you. Don't discount that."

"I don't deserve him or any of you guys. You should have let me die in that fire back in Deepwater, Kyle. Things would be so much simpler. You and Shane would be safe. Ray would have never come to Llanview. None of you deserve this. I brought Ray here. You guys should blame me for all that is happening."

"Don't ya' think you're being a little hard on yourself. I wasn't goin' to let you kill yourself, Zach. It's wrong on so many levels."

"Not if you've been in hell your entire life."

"I've had my shares of hell, Zach. We all do. Life is not all full of roses."

"I never said it was, Kyle."

"Tell me more. How did your mom end up with Ray?"

Zach takes a deep breath and tries with all his might to ignore the pain. "About a week after my crying episode in front of mom, I woke up and heard some noise in the kitchen. I quickly jumped out of bed and ran into the room. My mom was washing dishes and cleaning. I stood in the doorway in complete disbelief. I wondered if I really had her back. I did. She got it together. She got a job, but since money was tight I became the guardian for my brother and sister when she wasn't there. She would come home exhausted, but would pick up being the mom right when she walked in the door. She said that when she looked at the three of us it made life worth living. This went on for a while, but kids are kids and we get really sick sometimes. Mom would have to call out at work. This happened one to many times. She would ultimately get fired. I could here her crying almost every night when this happened. She prayed for help from anywhere. She would always find another job. She was gifted that way, but the routine repeated itself over and over. We moved from this small town to that small town, finally ending up in Deepwater. That's where she met the psychopath. She worked in the diner. He was a regular. Before I knew it, they were engaged. Soon they were married and we were moving into the house you found me in there in Deepwater."

"I'm guessing things weren't good there."

"At first things were great, but Ray's true colors soon started to show. He would yell and scream at all of us. Us kids could do nothing right. He would lock us in the shed out back for the smallest things. We could simply burp and be put in there. My mom would try to reason with him, but that simply ended with a huge slap in the face. I can't tell you the number of times I saw my mom with a busted lip or bruised eye. I hated him so much."

"Why didn't she leave?"

"I asked her that once. She said it was because he was a good provider. For the first time in a long time we had a nice house, food was always on the table and we had good clothes. She swore to me things would get better, but they never did."

Kyle sits in disbelief. He thinks to himself that you never rally know what someone else has gone through or is going through.

"I wanted to help us get out of there so bad, but I was weak, Kyle. I was skinny, frail and grappling with something I didn't understand."

"You were going through puberty."

"Yes, but not a normal one. I found myself fantasizing about other guys. I hated it. I knew it wasn't normal. Add this onto the hate Ray displayed towards me every day. He would call me a sissy, a fag and a fairy. I hated him for it. I tired to talk to mom, but she said he was simply trying to help me be a stronger man. She didn't know the whole truth though. I couldn't bring myself to tell her. I hated myself for it. I still do."

Kyle immediately becomes concerned. He notes a change in Zach's tone. Its as if Zach has reverted back to a child. "Do you need to take a break, Zach? I want answers, but if your not ready."

"No. I've buried this for two long, Kyle. I haven't shared this with anyone before, but I have to get it out. I can't bury it anymore." Zach stares at the ceiling and the past horrors come barreling back.

Kyle sees that Zach's hands are gripping the sides of the old mattress. "Hey, its okay man. I'm here. You're safe."

"I never feel safe, Kyle." Zach's words quiver as he says these words. His eyes begin to water.

Suddenly, Zach is back in his bedroom in the Deepwater house in his mind. He is asleep in bed. He awakens after hearing his bedroom door open and close. He hears his stepfather's boots walk across the floor. His stepfather stands at his bedside.

"Get up boy."

Zach tries to feign sleeping, but Ray reaches down and pulls the boy up by his pajama top.

"What do you want, Ray?"

"Your mom needs you to help me out. She's out cold in the bedroom from all the exhaustion of taking care of you kids. She can't even take care of the needs of her husband. I have needs boy."

"Please, Ray. I don't know what you mean. Please let me go to sleep. Please."

"After we're finished you can sleep all you want." Ray unfastens his pants. "Open your mouth sissy."

"No, Ray. Please. I can't."

"Do you think you really have a choice?"

Zach does not respond initially. "Please. Go away. Leave me be."

"No."

"Are you really going to talk back to me? I told you to do something." Ray lifts his hands and slaps Zach across the face.

Zach falls backwards and the tears start to roll.

"Keep it down, Zach or there's more where that came from. Now get your fairy ass up here and take care of your old man."

Zach slowly gets back up. "I can't."

"It's either you or one of your other siblings. Your choice."

"You're a complete ass."

"Watch the tone boy. I take care of the lot of you. I think I'm due the respect to be taken care of also."

"This is wrong, Ray."

"Come on. Don't think I don't know that you fantasize about other guys. I see the way you look at them. I know what you're thinking about when you whack off. I'm simply helping you figure what it means to be a fag."

Zach looks down at the floor hoping Ray will leave.

Ray fastens his pants and turns to walk away. "Fine. I told you what would happen." Ray heads towards the door.

"Wait," says Zach before Ray reaches the door.

Ray turns and heads back to Zach. "I knew you would come to your senses."

Back in the jail cell, Kyle is sick to his stomach from the events Zach shares.

Zach looks up at Kyle's face through the tears. "You're disgusted. I would be to."

"Stop, Zach. None of this is your fault. Ray was wrong, plain and simple."

"No. It was because I was weak. I should have been stronger."

"You were what fourteen? You were protecting your family. You were a lot more courageous than that SOB."

"It doesn't feel that way, Kyle. It never has. In the end it didn't matter anyway. I lost them all. My curse is that he's still around. I will never escape him."

"What happened after that?" Kyle isn't sure he wants to hear the rest, but he knows Zach needs to release this horrible stuff from inside.

"He visited me two or three nights a week. At first it was only oral, but then he took it further."

Kyle rages inside with anger. "Oh my god, Zach." Kyle's eyes water thinking about Zach at only fourteen being traumatized by a man who should have been his caregiver.

"I learned to just take it. I had to protect my mom, sister and brother."

"Why didn't you go to your mom? She could have helped you."

"I wanted to, Kyle. Really I did, but I thought she would blame me. That somehow it would be my fault. I blamed myself anyway. I still blame myself. If I wasn't so weak, so attracted to guys he would never have come to my room that night."

"Bull, Zach. The man is sick, twisted and evil. You are not to blame for any of this. You liking guys had nothing to do with it. He preyed on a young kid."

"I wish I could believe that, but to this day I still believe I could have made things different. I should have tried harder to stop him. One night my mom caught Ray and I together. The look on her face killed me. I thought she hated me."

"I can't believe any mom could hate her son."

"She didn't. Later that night she came into my room. You should have seen her face. He beat the crap out of her. I told her I was sorry. She told me I had nothing to be sorry for. That Ray was wrong in what he did and that she was sorry she didn't know or catch on sooner."

"She was right, Zach."

"I know. She said she would get all of us out of this situation as soon as possible. She said we would turn Ray over to the police first thing. She said she would get me help to deal with the trauma of it all. In the end she ran out of time."

"What happened?"

"Ray happened. He came back drunk off his ass later that night. She told me to go to my room and lock the door. I did and that was the last time I saw her or my brother or my sister alive. The next thing I remember is walking to the kitchen and seeing my mom dead on the floor. Blood was everywhere. The knife Ray used was still in her body. Then I heard a gunshot, followed by another and another. I ventured to my brother's room and then my sister's room and witnessed more of Ray's work. He killed them all and then turned on me with the gun. I ran out of that house so fast. I ran for my life straight to the police station and reported the shootings."

"Did you report him for the rape, Zach?"

Zach looks away.

Kyle knows he didn't. "It's okay, Zach. I can't imagine going through any of this."

"He was caught and charged with murder. I thought he was put away for life until I saw him in Deepwater. When I saw him I knew my plan to kill myself was even more necessary. I couldn't let him hurt anyone else that was close to me. But look at us now. Ray wins again. He always gets his way."

"So you never told anyone about what he did to you?"

"No."

"You've been carrying this secret around all these years? Ya' must have been beside yourself. How did ya' move forward? You needed to talk to someone about this. I can't imagine you having to deal with that on your own. Ray is a fuckin' coward. To do that to a young kid. He's not a man at all."

"I managed. I avoided close contact with anyone. I figured it was best that I didn't let anyone get to close. I moved in with my aunt in Colorado. I spent most of my time alone in the gym. I didn't want to be weak anymore. I thought if I was strong and had a better body image that nothing bad would happen to me. I could control any situation. I eventually went through the police academy to try to put jerks like Ray away."

"It sounds like you were only putting a band aid over the real issue. You were traumatized."

"That's exactly what I did. That's what I still do today. I'm so ashamed. I find myself repulsive most of the time. I look in the mirror and still see that weak and skinny kid. The one who let that creep do what he did. I let him kill my family. I'm responsible for their deaths."

"No, Zach. That's not true."

"Its how I feel and what I believe. Its programmed in my core."

"I wish I could do something to help. I hate that you had to go through any of that. This world can be so cruel."

"You're helping. You're listening now."

"Why didn't you share any of this with Marty or Rex? Why are ya' telling me all this now?"

"Hello, Kyle. You kind of forced me into talking, but in hindsight I'm grateful. Someone needed to know. I don't think I can survive Ray, Kyle. Before anything else happens I need someone to know the truth."

"Nothing's going to happen to you, Zach. You've come this far. You made a big step tonight. Marty can help you deal with this more. Rex will be supportive, I'm sure of it. There have been moments when you reverted back to a child, Zach. Marty needs to help you with that. You have some pretty serious mental demons at work inside you."

"I know. That scares me more than anything, but Rex can never know the whole truth, Kyle." Zach is almost in tears again. "I can't disappoint him in that way. He's been great. He knows everything except my weak periods when Ray had his way with me over and over and over."

"I think ya' should have more faith in Rex. You mean a lot to him."

"No. He can't know ever. I could talk to Marty, but ultimately it doesn't matter. I said it earlier. I can't fight Ray. Every time I try I make the wrong choice or decision. I thought I could control him this time. He grabbed me out of the hospital. He has you guys here also. He unstoppable. He always has been."

"I don't believe that. He needs to pay for his actions."

Zach becomes agitated. "Are you not hearing me? Ray is untouchable."

"Only if you continue to play the victim."

"I'm not playing. I know my role with Ray. I'm always the victim even if I go in with the intentions of not falling into his trap."

"You can change all that if you want."

Zach shakes his head in a no fashion. "I can't. I checked myself into that hospital mental ward to get away from him, but he still found me."

"You checked yourself in for more that that, Zach. I know you care about Rex. Ya' can't tell me that checking into the hospital wasn't at least partly for him and for you. You're fighting for love. You're fighting for a chance to be happy, happy with Rex and Shane."

"Maybe, but they're both better off without me. My actions of late say so. He doesn't deserve all my baggage. Is Rex okay? Well at least the last time you saw him."

"He's worried about you."

"Even after what I did?"

Kyle puts two and two together. "You attacked Rex. You landed him in the hospital."

"Not my finest hour. I can't be trusted to do anything right. That's why the Deepwater plan sounded so reasonable."

"Look. I know this is hard to believe, but I need you to trust me. You can work through this. You can rely on your friends to help you. You don't have to do this all alone anymore. Any of us will help you. Oliver, Rex, Shane, Nick and me are all on your side. Let us in. Let us help. It won't be easy and you'll have a long road ahead, but it can be better. I look back now on some of your actions and it all makes sense. You were calling out for help. We all didn't see it."

"I can't ask that of any of you. It's not fair. You have your own lives and issues."

"Who said you have to ask? I'm not giving you a choice. We're going to rally around you and help you through all this. Ya' have my word."

Zach doesn't know how to respond. "Why? Why would you help a freak of nature like me?"

"Stop callin' yourself that. You've been dealt a bad hand, but things don't have to be gloomy forever."

"Maybe if you keep saying that some day I will believe it. Rex must be going crazy with worry about Shane. Oliver must be beside himself about you. I'm responsible for all this. They'll never forgive me."

"You're not giving them enough credit."

"I don't know how, Kyle. I wish I had more faith, but faith has never been on my side."

"That changes here and now. You're stuck with us. Ya' hear me?"

Zach wishes he felt relieved by Kyle's words of support and encouragement, but changing years of programming simply isn't in the cards. "Thanks for listening. I appreciate it."

"Listen, let's stop for tonight. You try to get some rest. I'm sorry if I put pressure on you about talking, but I'm glad ya' did. I think you needed to unload this for a quite some time. Keeping things bottled up is never the answer. Ya' want anything to eat before you sleep? I think we can get a few bites of something from our rations. Any water?"

"No. I'm good."

Kyle stands. "I'll be here if you need anything."

"Okay." Zach closes his eyes and wishes for sleep to come. He does feel some relief about sharing some of his demons, but he doesn't want to hope that things can be better. Things don't get better for people like him.

Kyle walks to the open doorway of the cell. He looks in on Zach and Shane. He can't believe the hell Ray put Zach through. He feels for Zach. He hates that Zach was alone for so many years and that he buried his feelings. He leans against the cell bars. He keeps hearing Zach's words over and over in his head. He wishes he could thrash Ray's eyes out or much worse if given the chance.


In the middle of the night, Zach walks out of the old jailhouse building. He forces his body to sit on the old rickety steps. He sighs deeply once he is in the seated position. He almost regrets moving from the damp and dreary room downstairs. He is relieved that he spilled his guts to Kyle, but inside he knows it doesn't change anything. Ray is still out there. Kyle and Shane are still in harms way because they simply know him. Oliver and Rex will never forgive him, if they even find this place that seems cut off from everything and everyone. Zach ponders his options. He could end everything quickly by touching the fence or maybe the cuts that drape all over his body will become infected. Would Ray leave Kyle and Shane alone if Zach were gone once and for all? Zach isn't even sure if the answer is yes. Zach sighs again. Zach hears a creak from behind him and is startled. He turns to see Shane.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you," says Shane noting Zach's reaction.

"It's okay. I'm a bit jumpy these days. You should go back in and get some sleep."

"I'll go when you go back in."

Zach smiles. "Are you my protector now?"

"Well, I don't mean to be rude, but you're not very good at taking care of yourself."

"So true Shane Morasco-Balsom. So true."

"I'll go back in when you're ready. I'm in no hurry."

"I'm sorry about all this Shane. I never meant for you to be away from your dad or family. They must be sick with worry."

"I'm sure they are, but my dad will find us. I'm positive of that."

"You're right. Your dad is an excellent investigator."

"What happens when we get out of here?"

Zach looks at Shane. "What do you mean?"

"I don't know. I mean will this guy go to prison?"

"I don't think there is a prison that can hold Ray."

"So his name is Ray?"

"Yes, that's his name. I hate that name."

"I bet. He messed you up pretty bad in that other cell. Why didn't you defend yourself? You're a pretty built guy."

"Let's simply say that I wasn't in my right mind."

Shane looks puzzled.

"My mind has been playing tricks on me, Shane. Sometimes, I'm back in the past remembering all the bad things Ray did to my family and me. Other times I feel like I'm going to crawl out of my skin in the present. Ray is everywhere. He won't give me a break."

"Why does he hate you so much?"

"I'm not in Ray's head so I really can't answer that, but something tells me he could never be the person he wanted to be. So essentially he makes everyone around him miserable."

"What did he do to you and your family?"

"You don't need to worry about that, Shane. What he did was horrible and real ugly. I want to protect you from all that. It's the least I can do with all the effort you've put into finding me and helping me."

"It must be real bad."

"Bad doesn't even cover it, pal."

"I'm sorry, Zach. Truly."

Zach looks over and smiles. "You're more of an adult than me right now. You're an inspiration little man."

"Thank you, but can you stop calling me little man."

Zach laughs and pats Shane on the back. "Sure. Sorry. I don't know what I was thinking."

"So where do you go when we get out of here?"

"Ironically that is just what I was thinking about before you came out here."

"Care to share those thoughts?"

"It's not an easy answer, Shane."

"It is if you have people who care about you."

"Not always. I know I have people who care about me here. I care about them also, especially you and your dad. However, I need to protect you guys. As long as Ray is around you guys aren't safe. If anything happens to either of you because of me I would hate myself."

"My dad and I can take care of ourselves. Ray isn't a match for us, Zach."

"I love your enthusiasm, little."

Shane glares at Zach knowing his next words.

Zach holds his hands up in a surrender fashion. "Sorry. You guys don't know Ray. Not the true man or the excuse for a man that he is. He is capable of so much evil. It's scary, Shane. Real scary."

"You can't face him alone."

"That may be the answer. I've been alone for so long Shane. Almost eleven years now. I don't get close to people. It's safer for them that way. It protects me when Ray finds me. I became to invested in people here. I let my guard down."

"I don't want you to go and I know my dad doesn't either."

"When we get out of here, you should talk to your dad. I'm almost sure he wishes I wasn't around. You would be home and safe if I hadn't entered your lives."

"But look. Then I wouldn't have this wonderful adventure to share with my school friends about the summer."

"Some adventure. Stuck in a deserted ghost town."

"A town that has all kinds of awesome history I bet. I'm going to do some research on this place when we get out of here. I'm curious."

"You like history?"

"Maybe. I guess a little. I never really thought about it. But once this was a thriving town."

"I'm sure it was. Good luck with that research."

"Promise me you'll be around for me to share it with you. Please?"

"I can't do that, Shane. Once I ensure you're back home and safe with your dad then I'm on the first bus, flight or car ride away from Pennsylvania."

"If you do that you're letting that monster win."

Zach shakes his head in agreement. "I know. I've been down this path before. Always running. Always protecting myself."

"Don't we mean anything to you? My dad needs you. He may not know it yet, he's kind of stubborn and slow beyond belief, but he definitely needs you."

"I think you guys will be fine without me and your dad will find the answers. As much as I wish I could be a part of those answers I think someone else will get the pleasure."

"No. I don't think you'll leave. I think you'll come to your senses and realize what you're going to give up." Shane stands. "You ready to go back in?"

"Not yet. You go ahead. Thanks for the chat."

"I don't like leaving you out here by yourself."

"I'm a big boy, pal."

"Something tells me your still only a kid when dealing with Ray. I don't know why exactly, but something tells me you never got past the kid stage with him."

"Again you are very mature and smart for your age. I'll be down in a few, promise."

"I'll hold you to that."

"I know."

"Fine. I'll be inside not sleeping until you come back in."

"I simply need a few more minutes of fresh air."

"Okay." Shane heads to the door. He pauses and turns to look back. "Zach."

Zach slowly shifts around to look at Shane. "Yes."

"My dad loves you. I love you. I want you to be a part of our lives. We'll work through any issues together. You have a choice. You don't have to be alone anymore."

"Thanks, Shane. You're being so kind to me. I really don't deserve it."

"That's our first order of business."

"What's that?"

"Helping you understand that you are deserving and worthy of being loved and cared about."

Zach turns his head and looks forward. 'Maybe someday I'll do just that, Shane. Maybe one day I can feel normal again."

"Well normal is overrated, but you can definitely feel love again. If love is enough for you, we're here. Good night." Shane exits into the building.

"Night." Zach ponders Shane's words. Does he have a shot at peace and happiness after all these years? Will Ray ever allow that to be reality? Can Zach risk possible harm to those around him? He wishes the answer was yes, but his gut tells him otherwise.


"Kyle, its me. Answer me please."

Kyle's eyes open an hour or so after Shane and Zach's talk on the porch. Oliver. Is that his Oliver?

"Kyle. Kyle. Please. Where are you?"

Kyle pinches himself to ensure he is not dreaming. Ouch. He jumps up and races upstairs. He flies out of the building almost tripping on a lose step. "Oliver." Kyle looks downs the dusty road. It is dark outside, but Kyle can see car headlights at the end of the row of old buildings.

Oliver steps into the light.

Kyle begins to run. He runs for his life. He runs for the comfort of his man's arms.

Oliver soon see's Kyle coming forward. He too begins to run.

The duo meets halfway between the car and the building.

Oliver extends his arms.

Kyle flies into the open arms. "Is this real? Are you really here?"

Oliver squeezes him tighter. "I'm here. I found you. Let me look at you."

Kyle steps back.

Oliver surveys Kyle. "Are you okay? Hurt?"

"I'm fine. I'm so glad to see you." Suddenly Kyle remembers he is not here alone. "Shane and Zach are inside."

"We know. Rex is on his way."

Kyle looks back and sees Rex heading into the building. He is relieved. Kyle turns back to Oliver. "I knew you would find us."

"I'm sorry it took so long."

"Shut up. You're here now. That's all that matters." Kyle moves forward back into Oliver's arms. "Hold me, Ollie."

Oliver holds Kyle tight. "I'm here. I'll always find you when you're in trouble. You know that. Always."

"I'm so damn lucky. You're my world, Ollie."

"I know. You're my world too. I wouldn't have it any other way."

The two simply hold each other as tears of joy and relief escape from each man's eyes.

Rex stands at the doorway of the building Kyle ran out of a few minutes ago. "Shane. Answer me. Are you in here?"

"Dad!" yells an excited Shane as he rushes up the stairs from the old basement. Shane flies into Rex's arms. "Thank you for finding us."

"Are you hurt?"

"I'm fine, don't worry."

"I'll always worry, Shane. That's what parents do."

"Good point."

Rex laughs at his son's remarks. "I'm so happy. You're okay. I'm sorry I put you in harms way. I had no idea this guy was so crazy."

"I wish everyone would quit apologizing. I'm fine. Trust me."

"Okay, but we're still taking you to the hospital to be checked out."

"I know."

"You ready to get out of here?"

"Absolutely."

"Good deal." Rex stands.

Zach walks up from the steps behind Rex and Shane. He smiles knowing they are back together and that Shane will now be safe.

Rex and Shane turn to look at Zach.

Shane tugs on his dad's arm.

Rex looks at Shane, barely able to take his eyes off of Zach.

"I'm going to wait outside with Fish and Kyle."

"Okay. I love you."

"Love you too." Shane exits the building.

Rex turns back and simply stares at Zach.

Zach moves closer, not sure what to expect. He now stands mere inches from Rex. Rex's facial expression perplexes him. "I'm sor…"

"Stop. You don't need to say anything."

Zach assumes the worst. "I understand."

Rex approaches Zach. His face is mere inches from Zach. "I doubt that." He leans forward and places a tender kiss on the lips of the man in front of him.

Zach is shocked by Rex's actions.

Rex smiles. "Let's get you out of here. Lean on me. There's an ambulance outside to get you to the hospital."

Zach leans on Rex as instructed.

The two start to head out of the abandoned building.

Shane smiles as he sees the two exit the building.

Kyle approaches Shane. "Ya' like the view?"

Shane nods yes. "It gives me hope."

"Hope is a good thing my friend."

"I know something real bad happened to Zach, Kyle. He wouldn't tell me the details, but its written all over his face. I think that Ray guy did something to him."

"He did, Shane. Ray is a very bad person and Zach is fighting some real dark demons, but he has you in his corner. That counts for a lot."

"He has my dad also and you, I think. Do you think Zach and my dad have a chance?"

Kyle smiles and wraps his arm around the young kid. "I'm going to keep it real with you. That question isn't an easy one to answer, but I'll say this. If love is involved, they have a fighting chance. That's half the battle."

"I like those odds," replies Shane.

Kyle, Shane and Oliver, who approach the duo from behind, watch as Zach and Rex slowly make their way forward to the ambulance.


Chapter 51 Preview

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