Chapter 56

The two Doctors and Jack exited the room. A brightly lit room had replaced the dark hallway they had been in before entering the room to escape from the dementor. "What do you see?" the cricket uniform clad Doctor asked Jack curiously.

Jack looked around. "Sort of a lounge… no." He squinted and the room focused. Objects solidified, details sprang into being. He was suddenly aware of six other people in the room. "It reminds me of the Slytherin common room, except less green and generally more comfortable."

"Huh." The Doctor tilted his head and studied the room. "I can see why you'd consider this part of my mind a 'common room'. This is where all my personalities stay after regeneration."

"And why do your personalities stay around?"

"It's obvious if you think about it," said one of the Doctor's coming up to the small group. A long scarf trailed after him. "Memories are more than just a recording of the events that happened."

"What do you mean? Isn't that the point of a memory?"

"Ah, but there are factors that affect the memory: your emotions both at the time of the event and after it, what you consider important about the situation, how you regard the people involved. In essance, your personality affects how you remember something."

"A man is the sum of his memories, a Time Lord doubly so," added the Doctor who had originally found Jack. "But just his memories make up who he is, his personality influences his memories."

"Without us," the velvet clad Doctor joined in, "all of the Doctor's memories would be without context: useless. For a human, or really any other life form, personality changes are typically gradual. Each new experience is neatly fit into a preexisting structure such that the individual can look back on his or her or its life and see the progression from then to now. But a Time Lord? With such a drastic personality chage? Each regeneration wipes the slate clean. There is no scaffolding. For example, how would the Doctor have realized my genuine fondness for the Brigadier? I certainly gave the impression I didn't care for him."

"But when I remember my time with UNIT through his filter," the scarfed Doctor nodded at the velvet Doctor, "I realize that I was much more proper than I am now and wouldn't necessarily show how much I loved working with UNIT. I also am reminded that my incessant haranguing and teasing was done through fondness, not malice."

"Without his personality in place," the cricket Doctor concluded, "it would be easy to assume I hated my time with UNIT."

"Ah," Jack said, trying to wrap his mind around the concept. "So you're not really the Doctor. You're just filters he can apply to memories and experiences."

"Yes and no," the cricket Doctor said. "Remember, you're in my mind. Everything here is part of the Doctor. But we're not his ego, not any part of his personality that you would see normally."

"I think I get it. So where's his ego hanging out? I imagine that's the part I need to talk to in order to wake him up."

"My ego has decided to sequester itself and block us from entry. We were just trying to come up with a way to get in." A Doctor in a truly ridiculous hodgepodge of colors came up to the group. "The Doctor's concluded that he cannot get through on his own though. Apparently he has moved the barriers usually maintained to block off him so that it's surrounding the rest of us."

"Him who?" Jack asked.

"There's a personality filter I don't allow to mingle with the rest of us. He's… well, he's when I wasn't the Doctor, to put it as simply as possible," scarf Doctor said. "Too much contact with him distorts everything. That is why, by the way, the version of the Doctor you had first met could get slightly off kilter, especially when daleks were involved; he was experiencing much too much through his filter. Eventually, he was blocked off."

"They are fairly strong blocks," cricket Doctor added. "It's pretty bad if he's blocking us with them. We'll have no way through."

"Jack might," velvet Doctor suggested. "The blocks are for personalities, right? But Jack is a complete mind. He should have no problem."

"Yes. I'll bring him to the Doctor. He should be able to get closest to the Doctor," hodgepodge Doctor said.

Jack pinched the bridge of his nose. "Your pronoun rules are confusing," he declared. Hodgepodge Doctor snorted then started leading Jack away from the other Doctors.

Jack quickly came to appreciate his guide. There were several turns and twists along the way. At least it was well lit. And somehow, it was positively cheerful, with rose and white marble floors, cream and maroon striped wall paper, and bright glass chandeliers. A great improvement over the shadowed, echoing hallways Jack had first been in. After a while, though, Jack decided he would have preferred the gloomier atmosphere to the confusing path here. At one point, the Doctor leading him had directed Jack to turn around and head the other way. Jack had assumed they had gotten lost, but when he turned around, he discovered the path was completely different from the one they had already gone past. There were also a disturbing number of right turns. By the sixth or seventh one, Jack started counting footsteps: 50 steps then a right, another 30 steps and a right, 10 steps and a right, 10 steps and a left, 15 steps and a right, 60 steps then a right… wait. By all logic, they should have crossed a previous hallway at some point…

Jack was reminded of one time when, during a Weevil hunt, Gwen had discovered he had never seen The Shining. Once the hunt was finished and the Weevil safely stored away, his team had declared movie night and set up a projector to watch the film. Jack was pretty sure he would have noticed the wonky architecture on his own, but Owen did not give him the chance and pointed out every single instance where the architecture was literally impossible (of course The Shining was one of Owen's favorite movies. Sometimes Jack worried about the likelihood of his doctor snapping and going on a homicidal rampage). Jack vaguely wondered if they were going to run into a deranged Jack Nicholson along the way.

"Um, Doctor, just to be clear… dementors and your own mental defenses aside, there's nothing in here that can hurt us, right? It's just… you mentions a "him" that distorts things quite a bit, and I just want to make sure he's not actually, you know… crazy or anything."

The Doctor turned to regard Jack. "Jack, don't be dense. Have I ever given you the impression that I was not crazy?" His smile was way too broad and way too toothy to be any form of comforting. He turned back to the path and continued. Jack shuddered and followed.

60 more rights, 24 lefts, and 2 back tracks, and the Doctor finally announced, "we're here."

"Doctor!" Jack shouted excitedly. A leatherclad figure was studying a large, heavy looking set of doors. He spun around to see Jack. A broad grin replaced the scowl on his face.

"Jack! You're finally here. Fantastic. Now we can get to work."

"I'll let you take it from here. Do try not to bungle it," hodgepodge Doctor said to the other Doctor. He left.

The Doctor rolled his eyes at Jack. "Not someone I generally miss being," he admitted.

Jack laughed lightly. "What's past there? The Doctor?"

The Doctor nodded. "He's not letting any of us in. And I know he's using memories that aren't his." He turned to the door and started pounding on it. "Those memories of Rose are mine!" he shouted. "How dare you try to interpret them without me!"

"He's thinking about Rose?" Jack asked.

"He's pulling up memories of many of his companions. Especially the ones he lost rather than those who intentionally left him. But he's not allowing any of us to give him context for the memories of said companions," the Doctor grumbled. "At least he's not consulting with him either. That would be disasterous."

"So how can I help?"

"Just open the door and go in and talk to him."

"That's it?"

"That's it."

It seemed so simple. Jack shrugged. Maybe it was that simple. He grabbed the door handle and turned it. Before he opened the door, he turned to look at the Doctor, at HIS Doctor. "I've missed you, you know."

The hint of a smile tugged at the Doctor's lips. "I'm always around, somewhere."

"I know, but it's harder to find you now." He sighed, not expecting a response. His Doctor was many things, but in touch with his emotions was not one of them. "Whatever. Wish me luck." Jack turned back to the door.

"Jack," the Doctor said. Jack glanced over his shoulder. "…" The Doctor seemed like he was about to say something but changed his mind. "Good luck."

Jack smiled, saluted, and opened the door.

A/N: Thanks for reading, following, favoriting, and reviewing. Next guaranteed chapter is 6/4.