Ava's Point Of View

I walked up to the house I used to share with Wade, it'd been a couple days I'd just gotten back from my check up with my doctor, and he said I'm looking great, so in a couple days I'm going to be moving back to my place I just want to make sure I give Randy a bit more bonding time before I move out again.

While I was driving back to Randy's I couldn't help but go by Wade's, for some reason I find myself going by this place a lot. I saw the door open and Wade smiled slightly. "I'm surprised to see you here." Wade said, stepping to the side to allow me to enter, shutting the door behind me once I was inside.

"I was passing by and I just wanted to stop. I've been thinking about you." I smiled slightly as he turned around to face me.

"You have?" Wade raised a brow. "I thought all you'd be able to think about was Ryder and Randy."

"Ryder is on my mind every minute of the day, but you stay on my mind a lot as well." I stated, walking closer to him.

"Is that so?" He shook his head. "Why?"

"Because, I've been worried about you. Since Ryder's come you've seemed different, distant even. " I explained, I saw a man walk out of the living room with a box.

"Sorry sir, did you say the boxes by the window go to the storage?" The man raised a brow.

"Yes, to the storage. Everything else is going to the new place." Wade said, the man nodding and walking out of the door both of us moving out of the way.

"New place? You're moving?" I raised a brow. "Where?, why?" I shook my head beginning to get worried.

"Yes, this place is so big. It's just me now, so I don't need this place. I'm going to move to one of our smaller rental places. The one on Hudson is open and just got redone, so I figured I'd move in there for a while." He shrugged.

"So you are just going to move out of here and sell our home?" I spat.

"We are divorced Ava." Wade sighed.

"I know that, but this is our home... we've made so many good memories here." I shook my head.

"It's hard to be here every day, it's hard to sleep in the bed we shared EVERY single night... ALONE." Wade shook his head. "I can't stand not having you in my arms at night, everywhere I look is a memory of us, I need to move on. I need to have some peace and I can't do that living in this home, this home we were supposed to spend the rest of our lives together in."

I sighed and leaned against the table. "I'm sorry, you're right... it's just hard to see this, seeing you moving everything out of our home makes me believe that there isn't any hope for us." I bit my lip. "You know last night I had a dream, I had a dream that I woke up here. In our bed, when I looked over I saw Ryder's bassinet right next to the bed. And you know where you were? You were standing in front of the bassinet with Ryder in your arms singing to him." I wiped the tears that had fallen'. "When I woke up for a split-second I was so happy, but then I looked over to the side of me and realized I wasn't in our home, in our bed. And it wasn't you that was standing with Ryder in your arms it was Randy."

"Ava." Wade stepped closer to me, placing a hand on my shoulder.

"You know what, I shouldn't be dropping all this on you." I bit my lip shaking my head stepping back. "I think maybe I should just wait until my hormones are all sorted out, that's got to be the problem... I'll let you get back to your packing I should be going." I said rushing out the door before I lost control of my emotions in front of him.

I ran to my car the second I shut the door the tears just started to stream down my face. God what is wrong with me? Why am I so upset about him moving? He's right it's not fair to him to have to live in a place that he and I spent our life together. He shouldn't have to run in to a memory at every turn in that place. I really need to get my emotions under control, what is wrong with me what kind of woman can't make up her mind.

Yes they are both amazing men, who have done so much for me in more ways than one. But I can't keep stringing them along. They have to move one with their lives, I know I have to make a decision and I have to make it soon, it's not fair to Randy, Wade or Ryder even.

xXxXx

Randy's Point Of View

I was sitting on the couch, my parents on the love seat. I had Ryder in my arms he'd just been changed and fed, Ava had been pumping and saving, so I could heat up her milk while she was away at her appointment today. And for in the middle of the night, so I could help out.

I couldn't help but stare down at Ryder he was so perfect, I swear every single time I look at him I notice something different about him, like when he yawns he scrunches up his nose like Ava.

I watched Ava walk in the door, she walked over to me and I handed Ryder to her. "My sweet boy." She whispered giving him a kiss on the top of the head. "How's he been?" She looked down at me.

"He's been just fine, he was a little fussy, so I gave him a bottle, and he's just fine. He eats a lot, more than I thought he would for such a little guy." I laughed slightly.

"He's a growing boy." Ava nodded. "So it's a good thing."

"How was your appointment?" My mother raised a brow. "Is everything healing well?"

"Yeah, doctor said I am doing wonderful, doctor said I'm healing wonderfully. He even said I could go home by Friday." Ava said looking over to my mother.

I sighed I didn't want her to go home Friday, I wanted her to stay here for as long as I could get her to. "So looks like I only have 2 more days with him." I sighed.

"No, I figured I'd stay through the weekend so you'd have some more time with him." Ava explained.

"That's good, I wish you'd stay a lot longer though." I shook my head.

"It's not like you can't come to my place, when ever you want. He's not going to be that far. You could even stay over when you'd like. I'm not going to keep him from you Randy. I just want him to get into a routine at my place. At least until he's a bit older." Ava stated.

"You could always stay here since he's been here since he came home." I sighed.

"You know why that's not a good idea." Ava sighed.

"Because of Wade." I shook my head.

"It's not just because of him." Ava shook her head.

"But he's the main reason, Wade doesn't like it that you're here does he?" I sighed.

"It's not that Randy, we both need to move on with our lives. I need to get Ryder used to my home, I need to get him into a routine. And I know what you are thinking, yes I do want Wade around, but that might not happen anyway." Ava sighed. "I'm going to put him down for a nap." Ava said quietly and moved to her room, shutting the door behind her.

"Son, you need to relax. You can't jump down her throat over a man, you aren't in a relationship, she's a grown woman, and she's allowed to have men around her." My mother sighed.

"I should have some say over whose around my son." I almost growled.

"You know Wade, you know their past. Come on he's the man who delivered Ryder. You know most likely he's going to have some place in Ava's life, there for he's going to have some interaction with Ryder." My mother stated.

"Plus you know, Ava wouldn't bring someone she didn't trust around Ryder." My father added.

"I know that." I sighed, I walked over to the door after hearing a knock. I opened and saw Wade, I sighed to myself. "What can I do for you?" I raised a brow.

"I need to speak to Ava." Wade stated, walking inside when I stepped to the side and allowed him to enter, shutting the door once he was inside.

"She's putting Ryder down for a nap." I stated, crossing my arms over my chest "What's so important you had to stop over, and couldn't just call?" I raised a brow.

"I was worried about her, we had a pretty tough conversation today. It didn't end very well and I wanted to talk to her and make sure she was okay." Wade explained.

"What do you mean? When did you talk to her? And why would it upset her so much." I questioned, I did notice something was off but I just figured it was her not wanting to get into it with me about her moving.

"She found out I was moving, and might be putting our home on the market." He explained. "I just wanted to make sure she was okay, she left pretty upset."

"He's down." Ava said shutting the door quietly. "Wade?" Ava raised a brow, when she turned around and noticed Wade was in the living room. "What are you doing here?"

"I needed to see you." Wade stated. "Can we talk?"

Ava took a deep breath and nodded. "We can go outside, Ryders sleeping in there." Ava said walking over past Wade and to the door. Wade following her out.

I sighed and shook my head. "This is never going to end with him." I growled underneath my breath as I stood up walking to Ava's room to check on Ryder.

xXxXx

Wade's Point Of View

I stood in front of Ava, she seemed distant. "Ava, I was worried about you, so I wanted to come check on you. And I'm glad I did, you don't look too good." I stated.

"I'm fine." Ava sighed. "So you can go."

"Ava, you are not fine." I sighed. "Please talk to me, tell me what you need from me."

"I don't know what I need Wade, that's the problem." Ava shook her head. "I don't know what I need, or what I want. I guess I kinda know what I want, or more so what I don't want. I know I'm not ready for a relationship with anyone right now but." Ava sighed.

"What? But what Ava?" I raised a brow.

"I don't want to lose you, you are the one consent in my life and I don't want to lose that." Ava sighed. "But I don't have the right to even want that. I don't want to string you along or Randy for that. I just don't want to lose you Wade, a part of me still sees my life with you in it."

"But you don't know what part I play in that life." I sighed.

"I know and it's not fair to you. I don't want to keep being this burden on you Wade. I wish I could tell you when I'd be ready for a relationship but I can't and it's not fair to you I know that." Ava sighed sitting on the porch swing.

I sighed and sat next to her on the swing, placing a hand on her shoulder. "You aren't a burden on me Ava, if I didn't care about you, if I didn't love you as much as I do I wouldn't still be here. I know it hasn't always seemed like I love you as much as I say but you are one of the few reason's I smile. When ever I see you my heart skips a beat Ava. And as much as I wish you'd say you want to come back to me right now. That you'd take Ryder and move back into our home. I know it's not going to happen right now, you need your space and time to figure out your life, just like I do. but just know I still want to be a part of your life, and Ryders life. I want your dream about waking up in our home, in our bed to me holding Ryder in my arms singing him a lullaby to come true. I know I'll never take his fathers place and I don't want to I'd never come between Randy and Ryder but I want to form my own bond with him different from Randy's." I stated. "I want the three of us to build a bond together." I added.

Ava bit her lip and scooted closer to me, leaning her head on my shoulder. "I know you say that Wade, but I still get this feeling that I'm going to lose you, I'm going to lose everything. And maybe it's what I deserve." Ava sighed.

I slipped my arm around her waist and pulled her completely into my arms. "I'm not going anywhere, not now. Not ever." I stated. "And you shouldn't say things like that, you don't deserve to lose anything, you deserve happiness, you deserve so much happiness and love."


A Note From The Author: Thanks for being so patient and not bugging me for an update. Life has been hectic and I've been dealing with a lot of health issues lately, so I've been in and out of the hospital which doesn't leave much time for writing but I think I'm on the mend now, so I'll be updating more often. Thanks again, don't forget to review I love the feedback! Thanks to everyone who continue to read, review, follow, and favorite this story! You all rock!

Reviews=LOVE