Novak,
I understand how it feels, to carry all that quilt. I do, as well- I think that both of us are worriers, by nature. But still, if things about me alone are making you feel anxious, I beg you to let go of that guilt. I would feel awful if it was me that made you feel so terrible.
Oh, Novak. :( You have to stop smoking- I know I'm preaching, but it'll just make you even more nervous. At least you're cutting back. Are you using patches or gum? Have you been able to get enough fresh air? Enough exercise? With your stress levels, you need it. I don't mean to be patronizing, but have you considered therapy? I'm thinking about it.
I really appreciate that, but it's not quite how I feel. Things have changed so much, and they'll keep changing.
Sincerely,
Andelko
Serbia couldn't help but smile a sad smile. Croatia still cared enough to ask about his health.
Andelko,
Don't worry. It's not just you that makes me feel alone. In recent years, I've lost almost everyone that matters to me. Not too long after the end of the third Yugoslavia, Branko claimed his independence. I hardly got time to recover from that before Tiku decided to claim his independence as well. Even though he isn't recognized as independent by a lot of nations, it still hurt just as bad to lose him. And what hurt the most, was the fact that I knew it was my fault that both of them left. It's taken a toll on me, added to that of what went on between you and I, and all the other Balkans.
I'm primarily using gum and prefer it over the patches, but even so, it only helps a bit. I'm still searching for a better method to quit. I don't think I get a lot of fresh air though. I go outside every once in a while just to help clear my mind, but I'm usually inside a lot otherwise. I don't really exercise much anymore. I used to back when Montenegro was still living with me, but once he left, I didn't do it as much, and then when Kosovo left, I couldn't bring myself to exercise anymore. I suppose I've gradually become lazier over the years because of all the stress and depression I've gone through. I really should consider therapy, I suppose.
Things will always change. But some things do remain the same.
From,
-Novak
