Disclaimer: Not mine! All the characters you recognize belong to JE, I'm just playing. While this is an AU story, it has the potential to possibly spoil or mention something from any of the books 1-18.
A huge thank you to everyone that has offered words of encouragement and support. You are all amazing! Thank you! To all the guest reviews, I really appreciate your support and thank you so much for letting me know you are out there!
Anita (FanFictionAficionado), I know I thank you daily, but really…YOU'RE THE BEST! Thanks for everything.
I apologize for the delay in my posting. Life has taken a toll on me, plus I've been a little blocked. I'm trying to break through it. Please, stick with me and I promise I will finish and I'll do my best to get back to more frequent posts. I appreciate your support more than I can say!
Previously:
I stared at the computer screen for a long time. So long that I lost track of time, but I just couldn't close the screen where his words, "Love you, Babe," were. I could almost hear him saying them to me...almost.
Ch. 50
I finally got an email from Cal. It was early March and I hadn't heard from him since he cancelled his plans to come visit the previous September. I was so looking forward to spending some time with him and catching up. I missed all the guys terribly, and couldn't wait to see at least one of them. So when he cancelled, I was pretty bummed. The weekend I was supposed to spend with Cal, I spent drowning my sorrows in a carton of Ben & Jerry's, while watching Steel Magnolias. Yep, I was that kind of depressed.
Since then, I'd managed to only drown my sorrows like that occasionally. I usually watched Ghostbusters and snacked on light popcorn when I was feeling a little blue. Bridget always knew when I pulled out the Ben & Jerry's that I was seriously down, and would be going through a box of tissues. And she usually joined me.
When Cal's email arrived, I hoped it meant that he was going to be visiting soon. Unfortunately, it meant the complete opposite: he was being deployed overseas—though he couldn't tell me where—and he'd promised his Mom that he would spend his time off with her. I would have gone to see him, but I had midterms, and softball season was in full swing. I settled for a catch-up phone call, and made him promise me he would stay safe and stay in contact more frequently. He promised, and I only went through half a box of tissues when the phone call was finished. Man, I missed my friends.
When the news reports began discussing American troops being in Iraq, I began to suspect that that's where Cal had been sent. Especially when there was mention of Naval intelligence. At last all the "super-secret Navy stuff" Cal had alluded to made sense.
After Donna's revelation about Allen the night of my sister's wedding, and our conversation at the airport, she opened up to me even more. At first she had been embarrassed by her "over sharing", but once she started talking about him, she said she felt great relief in having unburdened herself. We became more than boss/employee: it was like we were friends, almost family. Donna and I worked so closely together that I felt more like her partner than an apprentice. We even went out to dinner and shared the occasional glass of wine together.
Bridget was doing incredibly well at work also, continuing to partner with Mark, but once the spring semester started, her schoolwork suffered. She had started off a year ahead of me in school, but she decided to take fewer hours each semester so she could keep her grades up. This meant that we would both be graduating in May 2004.
It seemed like time had both flown and stood still since Carlos left. I missed him terribly; every second of every day and each email I received from him brought relief that he had survived another day. Bridget and I hated watching the news. Not being able to know for sure where our loved ones were and whether they were safe was torture, but we seemed unable to turn off CNN. It was an addiction.
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The days turned into weeks and months. Between work, school, and softball, Bridget and I were insanely busy (she was team manager again). My softball season wasn't as successful as the year before. We made it to the World Series again, but lost after making several errors in the outfield. I was bummed, but still proud of how far we had gone.
Once softball was finished, and with school out for almost a month already, I took a much-needed break and headed to Trenton to visit my family. Travel expenses had been too high for them to make it to the tournament that year, so I hadn't seen them in months. But I didn't expect what I found when I arrived at my parents' house.
I wanted my visit to be a surprise, so nobody knew I was going to Trenton—not even Grandma Mazur. She and Abuela were still great friends, and had decided to go on a "single seniors" cruise together. After making them both promise to behave, I dropped them at the pier and watched their ship depart before heading for the airport.
After landing in Newark, I rented a car so that I would have the freedom to come and go as I pleased. My timing was perfect: I arrived in Trenton and pulled up to my parents' house at 5:55 p.m., just in time for dinner. I walked in the front door and was greeted with...silence! Since when was my parents' house ever silent? There was always some noise from Mom working in the kitchen and the television blaring from the living room, but that day there was nothing. And there were no delicious aromas permeating the air, either. It was a safe bet that no one was home, and that dinner wouldn't be served at six p.m. as usual.
At a loss for what to do, I carried my luggage up to my old room, and pulled out my clothes to hang before the wrinkles would set and require Mom's expertise with the iron. Starving, and unsure when my folks might be home, I headed out to one of my favorite stomping grounds, Pino's. They had the best pizza in the city and an even better meatball sub. Just thinking about that sub made my mouth water! After ten short minutes in my little rented Ford Escort, I walked into the building, my stomach growling loudly in anticipation of what was to come.
After I'd taken two steps in the door and my eyes had adjusted, I realized I had found my parents. They were at a back table with Joe, Val, and Angie, enjoying an extra large pizza. I quickly headed in their direction, and the whole restaurant was alerted to my arrival about a half-second after Mom spotted me.
"STEPHANIE!" she screeched, jumping to her feet and wrapping me in a hug. It certainly wasn't the reaction I had been expecting.
"What are you doing in Trenton?" she asked, in a much closer-to-normal tone of voice.
"Well, I hadn't seen you guys in a while, so I thought it was time for a visit."
"I'm so glad you're here. Here, grab a chair and join us. Whatever you want, Dad's buying."
"Hi, Daddy," I said, stepping into my father's embrace as he stood and grabbed a chair from a nearby table.
"Good to see you, Pumpkin." I repeated the hugs and greetings with Val and Joe, and cooed at my little niece, who was much bigger than the last time I had seen her.
Cindy Mancini, a waitress who had been working at Pino's as long as I could remember, brought me a Diet Coke and asked if I was going to join them in the pizza or if I wanted my usual. I smiled and said, "Usual," before turning back to my family and their conversation.
"Steph, have you heard from Carlos recently? How is he?"
I smiled half-heartedly and replied, "He writes as often as he can. I got an email from him the other day and he's doing well."
My mom squeezed my hand before saying, "You really miss him, don't you, sweetheart?"
"More than I can say," I choked out around the lump forming in my throat.
We sat in awkward silence for several seconds. Val finally saved the day by changing the subject. "Well Steph, your visit is perfectly timed."
"Oh yeah?" I asked, smiling my thanks for the distraction.
"Joe and I invited Mom and Dad out to dinner tonight to share our good news." She took a deep breath, and turned to smile at Joe, before taking his hand and announcing, "We're having a baby!"
My mom squealed again, almost as loudly as when she first saw me, and jumped up to wrap Joe and Val in a hug. I was frozen in shock, unable to speak, until my Dad squeezed my hand and then moved to congratulate them. Another baby. Angie wasn't even two for another month, and Val was ready for another baby? I had no idea what I would do with one kid, let alone two, and yet I found myself incredibly jealous of my older sister.
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I stayed in Trenton for a week. It was nice to see my family, but my jealousy was eating me up inside. On the one hand, I was incredibly happy for my sister. She and Joe were even more in love with each other than I remembered, and Joe seemed ecstatic to be having another child. He had adopted Angie shortly after his wedding to Val—Steve hadn't even objected—and he was her father in every sense of the word, but this one would have Morelli blood. In the past I would have said, "God help it", but Joe had single-handedly changed the reputation of the Morelli men. I was happy for Val, I really was. But I also couldn't help hating her just a little bit. And it was killing me.
I spent one night with Carlos' family in Newark. Maria and Ricardo greeted me much the same way my parents had, and then proceeded to fill me full of all the Cuban food I could eat. Maria and I stayed up talking the entire night, and didn't crawl into bed until the sun was coming up. It felt like I was talking to my best friend and my mom at the same time. I loved it. She validated my jealousy of Joe and Val's blissfulness, but told me not to let it override my happiness for them. She was right: I had to find a way to push that envy aside. It wasn't easy, but I knew the distance would help.
When I said goodbye to my family, they said they would come visit soon. Ricardo and Maria had promised the same thing, and I told them I would hold them to it. My flight back to Miami seemed longer than normal, and I realized it was because I hadn't heard from Carlos in over a week. He usually tried to email me at least every three to four days, but it had been nearly nine days since our last correspondence. I was surprised the plane could fly with the weight of the lump in my stomach.
My anxiety over not hearing from Carlos reached its boiling point when I arrived back at the apartment. Bridget's car was parked in her spot, and I found myself running up the stairs. Without even saying hello, I blurted out, "When is the last time you heard from Les?"
"Hi Steph, how was your trip? Donna's going nuts without you in the office. She'll be so happy you're back."
Had she heard me? "Trip was fine. When is the last time you heard from Les?"
"Jeez, Steph, take a breath. Is everything ok? I heard from him..." and she trailed off as she scrunched her face up like she was thinking. "Gosh, I guess it's been since right after you left, so about six days ago, maybe?"
I began pacing and praying that everything was ok. Les and Carlos were great about checking in, and the fact that neither of us had heard from them in nearly a week, or in my case more, was very disconcerting. "Have you been watching CNN?"
"Not really. I pulled a bunch of late nights this week, and mostly just collapsed when I came home. Have you?"
"No. Getting the remote away from my Dad is like pulling teeth."
Without saying anything else, Bridget turned on the television.
"More than a dozen American soldiers were killed and a dozen or more wounded Thursday, in a surprise attack just outside of Kabul," a reporter announced.
Thursday. That was two days ago. Was Carlos one of the dead? One of the injured? No one had come to the Manosos' house when I was there on Thursday, but maybe it had still been too early? Oh God, what if he was dead? How would I survive?
I shook my head to try and banish thoughts of Carlos being injured—or worse—when the ringing of my cell phone registered in my brain. Looking at the display, I nearly passed out. The Manosos. Please, God, don't let it be bad news about Carlos!
TBC…
Author's Note: I would love to know your thoughts on this chapter.
