The Saotome Sisters

Chapter 54

"Akane! Get outta the way, you slow, clumsy tomboy! Your thick thighs are taking up the whole staircase!" Ranma jostled Akane as they came down the stairs, side by side. Akane pushed back against him, and for a few seconds, they bumped shoulders, each trying to get past the other.

"Hey, watch the arm, you jackass!" Akane shot back. Her arm was in a cast now, and she cradled it protectively against her side, while shoving against Ranma with her other hand.

"Jackass? You stealin' my lines now, sugar?" Ukyo came down the stairs trailing the argumentative couple, a few feet behind them, but smiling at their antics.

Akane glanced back at her. "Well, if the shoe fits, I say we make the arrogant baka wear it."

"Uncute," Ranma commented, and slammed his shoulder into her. But as he did, his hand caught hers and caressed it for a moment. Akane gave him a secretive smile, before returning to an angry glare as she entered the family room.

"Can you two give it a rest?" Nabiki said. Her expression was dazed and bleary, and she was irritated by the commotion as usual. Nabiki wasn't a morning person.

"It's all the baka's fault," Akane said, taking her usual seat at her fiance's side.

"Is not," Ranma countered.

Kasumi soon served breakfast, and relative quiet fell over the Tendo family as Ranma, his father, and even Akane began to tear into their meals with gusto. After a few moments, though, Akane began to participate in the game of stealing Ranma's food, and he turned a glare on her.

"Hey! I'm bein' attacked from both sides!" Ranma turned back to his father. "Switch with me."

"No way," Genma said, eyeing Akane as she swiped more of Ranma's food. "She's your fiancee, boy, it's your responsibility to provide for her needs." Genma was so involved in defending himself from his son and prospective daughter-in-law, he didn't notice Ukyo stealing from his bowl.

"As if!" Ranma protested. He then used his chopsticks to block Akane, who grinned at him impishly. "Hey, stop it, tomboy!"

As the two began bickering again, Soun laughed heartily. "Looks like our plan worked, Saotome! They are getting along so well! The schools will be joined before we know it!"

"We are not!" Ranma protested, and Akane added, "I am NOT marrying that baka!"

Nabiki raised an eyebrow at their response. "Only you two would call this getting along. Honestly, if you're happy to see them acting like this, then I'd hate to see how you'd react if they started kissing."

"There is no way I'm going to kiss HIM!" Akane's face turned red with anger and indignation.

"Yeah!" Ranma agreed. "I wouldn't kiss that tomboy! And even if I did, I'll bet her breath still tastes like that awful stew from the training trip!" Ranma turned and smirked at Akane, and she bopped him on the head.

Nabiki's chopsticks froze halfway to her mouth. For just a second, as Akane turned to look at Ranma, she could have sworn she saw a look of amused affection come across her little sister's face. And had that blush been of embarrassment, or was that look in her eyes shyness, and even a little shame? She was doing a good job of acting angry, but her cheeks were more pink than scarlet. Was something going on?

Not wanting anyone to notice her reaction, Nabiki quickly went back to finishing her breakfast. But she studied the interplay between Ranma and Akane more closely. Their hands were hidden under the table, and Nabiki had the definite impression Ranma was brushing up against Akane from time to time. She would twitch suddenly, and then smile to herself, as if she didn't mind being touched. And that seemed to be independent of the insults they were hurling back and forth. In fact, the little touches often seemed to follow the insults, instead of setting them off. For a moment, Nabiki even considered the possibility that Ranma was caressing Akane's thighs, but eventually decided that even Ranma couldn't be that bold.

Even more telling was the way Ukyo was watching the two of them. She clearly was aware of what was going on, and was very amused by it. Although even as Nabiki had the thought, Ukyo's smile faded, and she turned away, looking sad and thoughtful. But then she smiled again, as Ranma and Akane continued their banter, and she threw out a quip of her own. It was a game, Nabiki decided, they really had grown closer thanks to that training trip, but they didn't want the fathers to know about it.

Well, if they were trying to hide something, then Nabiki would have to find out what it was. Something had apparently happened on the training trip. Or even before. Now that she thought about it, Akane and Ranma's fighting had been more playful than serious recently. And Akane had been eating a lot more, although Nabiki hadn't noticed it, until her attention was called to it. She looked her little sister over, noticing the subtle increase in her muscle tone, particularly in her lower body. Nabiki had always been particularly proud of her own legs, and worked out mainly to keep them in shape. Akane had never seemed to care how her training made her look, but Nabiki had to admit that Akane's legs were now more toned than hers were.

Maybe I should go on one of these training trips as well, Nabiki joked to herself. She quickly discarded the idea, knowing how insane Ranma and Ukyo's training had been. Likely, what Akane had to go through to get that level of fitness was just as insane. Still, she couldn't argue with the results.

Having had enough of speculation, Nabiki decided it was time to gather some more information. "So, speaking of training, Akane, how is the arm?"

Akane looked down at her cast. "Actually, it should be coming off today. I was going to go by Dr. Tofu's after school and have him remove it." She glanced up at her pigtailed fiance'. "You want to come along too, Ranma?"

"Yep." His expression had turned more serious. "I wanna make sure it's all right before you start tryin' to spar with that arm again. And I know you'll try it..."

"It wasn't hurt that bad, Ranma. According to Tofu, it was only a partial fracture, and it was half healed before he even got to see it. He said it was probably healed up fine last week, but he wanted to leave the cast on for two weeks to be sure."

"Well, I don't want ta take any chances, tomboy."

"That's incredible, Akane," Nabiki cut in, adding her own support to Ranma's protests. "I would have thought that arm would have you out for a month or more."

Akane shrugged. "Tofu says it's fine, and even he was surprised that it's healing so fast. But I've sure been eating a lot lately, and maybe it's helped me heal faster. Plus, Ucchan taught me some meditation techniques. I haven't really been able to do anything the last two weeks but concentrate on getting better and hope this thing comes off soon." She held up her arm.

Nabiki had noticed the unhappy look on Ranma's face. "So you never told us how your arm got hurt in the first place." Nabiki asked. "Other than to say you fell and it was going to be fine..."

"Yeah," Ranma said, cutting his eyes at Akane. "How did you break it?"

A deep blush spread over Akane's face as she looked down at the table. She sounded very uncomfortable as she answered. "I went off into the woods to try and train on my own. I didn't want Ryoga or Cologne to know what I was doing or to try and stop me. But I lost my footing as I was trying to climb down a cliff and fell. I broke my arm."

Ranma was still glaring at her, but he looked like he was trying to control his anger. "Did you try that stupid Breaking Point technique?"

Her blush deepened. Akane took a deep breath, and then met Ranma's eyes. "Yes, Ranma. That's what I was trying to do when I fell. I did break a few small boulders, like Ryoga did, just to test my strength."

As Ranma started to protest, Akane held up a hand, to interrupt him. "I know; the Breaking Point training is dangerous. That's why I stopped. My body's not tough enough for it." Her eyes narrowed. "But I do plan to keep toughening myself up until I can try it again. It may take a while, but I'll wait if I have to."

Nabiki studied the two of them. The fathers were watching the conversation too, but she was sure they weren't catching the subtle signs she was. It wasn't what Ranma and Akane were saying, exactly, it was what they weren't saying, and the way they looked at each other. They were both calm, expressing their worry for each other, and talking it out without getting angry. Definitely totally different from what she had come to expect from them. Yes, definitely, things had changed between then.

"What would you do with this Breaking Point, Akane?" Nabiki asked, keeping up the prodding a bit. "According to Cologne it can't be used on people."

"No, but that's not the point of the training anyway," Akane answered. "I'm sure it'll help me become a better martial artist."

"That's my girl!" Soun exclaimed tearfully. "It's so good to know the Tendo School of Anything Goes Martial Arts is in your hands."

Akane seemed to be unimpressed by her father's theatrics, but still smiled bashfully. "Thank you, Daddy."

"That's right!" Genma agreed. "Thanks to us, our children are growing closer, and becoming great martial artists! It makes a father proud..."

"Thanks to you, huh?" Ranma growled, rolling his eyes.

"Oh, yes. Soon enough, you will both be masters of Anything Goes Martial Arts. And then nothing will come between the two of you joining the legacies of the Saotome and Tendo families!"

As Ranma was about to snap out a response, Genma's cup suddenly cracked. It shattered, the pieces falling in a pile on the table. Kasumi quickly muttered, "Oh, my!" and then began to clean up the mess.

Genma looked down at the remains of his cup. "An omen?" He muttered.

"You don't think..." Soun looked at him for a moment. "You did say 'Master of Anything Goes'..."

"Nonsense, Tendo!" Genma exclaimed, with a good natured laugh. "You don't believe in old wives' tales, do you?" His laughter was cut short, however, as he picked up one of his chopsticks, and it broke.

"Saotome!" Soun was definitely nervous now, and starting to sweat. "You know who we're talking about here. And you even said nothing would come between our children! Are you trying to call down his wrath upon us?"

Genma was still trying to look reassuring, although his laughter was more nervous now, as well. "It's just a coincidence, that's all! I'm sure there's nothing to worry about..."

There was a crash from the dojo. Soun and Genma looked at each other. "The family shrine!" Soun yelled. Then he stood and raced out of the room, Genma right behind him.

"That was odd," Nabiki said. "I wonder what they're up to." She looked back at Ranma and Akane. "Well, you two better get going if you're not going to be late for school."

Akane jumped to her feet, hesitating long enough to devour one more mouthful of food. "Oh, yeah! Come on, Ukyo, you too!"

"I'll be right behind you, sugar," Ukyo said with a smile.

The three ran out of the family room, and Nabiki waited until she heard the front door slam. Then she began to gather up her things to head for school as well. "All right, I'm going to have to make some serious plans for today," she said to herself. "First of all, talk to Akane's friends Sayuri and Yuka. If anything's going on between her and Ranma, they'll know about it."

Nabiki had, of course, heard that Ranma was showering with the girls while stuck in his cursed form. It was Nabiki that Kuno came to in order to confirm the story, after all. It actually hadn't really occurred to Nabiki until Kuno mentioned it, but in retrospect it was so obvious she was surprised she didn't think of it herself. She had tracked down the story of how Ranma had almost transformed in front of Hiroshi and Daisuke, in the boy's locker room, and once his curse was locked again, he really had no choice anyway. It was Akane going along with the plan that was surprising to Nabiki.

A little more investigation had turned up tales of "Ukyo" and "Ranko" trailing into the shower room, chatting amiably with each other, about the time everyone else was leaving. No one suspected anything, of course, not knowing the cursed siblings' true nature. But two newcomers to the school, who hadn't even met before, hitting it off so famously was still something worthy of gossip. Nabiki was actually quite impressed by the plan. It not only protected Ranma from Akane, who would surely pound him for being a pervert otherwise, but if Ranma's secret ever DID get out, Ukyo could reassure the other girls that Ranma never peeped at them, either.

At the time, she just assumed Akane was doing her best to be done and gone by the time Ranma and Ukyo came in. But now, seeing how intimately Ranma and Akane were teasing each other, Nabiki began to wonder if that intimacy extended to taking showers together as well. It also occurred to her that Sayuri and Yuka might be in on the secret, and helping Ukyo and Akane run interference. Nabiki didn't think her little sister would keep her best friends in the dark about something that might affect their very honor and reputation.

Satisfied that she had her first targets, Nabiki headed out of the house, already considering the possibilities, and how this might be a windfall to her bank account.


"Oh, thank you, Dr. Tofu! That feels SO good!" The relief in Akane's voice was clear, as she flexed her arm. The skin of her forearm had grown pale from lack of sunlight, and she rubbed it with her fingers, as if scratching an itch.

The doctor smiled back at her. "I'm glad it feels better, Akane."

"So, her arm's really okay, huh Doc?" Ranma asked. Akane shot a glare at him.

Tofu noticed her reaction, and his expression turned a little more serious. "Yes, the arm should be fine. But Akane, it may still be a little weak for a while, and I don't want you to put undue strain on it. I want you to take it easy, until you can get your strength back. Go easy on it for at least a week."

Akane blushed, looking properly chagrined, but nodded. "Oh, I plan to. Ukyo and I have already worked out a training program to get me back up to speed slowly. Like Ranma's arms, when he burned them. We'll work on building up my sparring gradually, so my muscles can get back into shape."

Tofu smiled at that, and Ukyo added, "Even with the strength you've lost from having your arm in the cast, you're probably still stronger than me. You're not likely to have lost much muscle mass in just two weeks, it's just a matter of working out the stiffness."

"Over muscled gorilla," Ranma commented, and Akane elbowed him in the stomach, although her blush deepened.

"I'm still more concerned with building up my toughness and being able to block," Akane said, her tone good natured despite Ranma's insult. "And Ucchan will be careful with me, Dr. Tofu, don't worry."

"Hey, I still wanna spar with ya some too," Ranma cut in, and Akane gave him a dazzling smile.

"I know, Ranma, and I don't mind if you take it a bit easy on me until my arm is better."

The three walked out into the sunlight outside of Tofu's clinic and headed back for the Tendo home. Akane threw a few punches, just doing a little shadow boxing, to loosen up her arm as they walked. Suddenly, she turned and punched at Ranma, and he leaped aside.

For a few moments, Ranma just dodged Akane's attacks, not striking back as she charged at him. But she somehow managed to get inside his defenses and slap him, open handed, across the chest. "Tag!" She shouted, loudly. "You're it!"

With that, Akane turned and ran. Ranma started to run after her, but instead he turned and poked Ukyo in the shoulder. "Tag! Now YOU'RE it!" Ranma then took off running after Akane.

"Tag?" Ukyo said, somewhat stunned. Then she recovered as she realized she had let down her guard. "Hey! No fair!" She took off running after the other two teenagers, who had already taken to leaping across the rooftops to escape.

Despite their head start, it didn't take Ukyo long to catch up. A merry chase then ensued over and on top of the shops and houses lining the streets. When they came to the canal, the battle then turned to a struggle to push each other into the water. It seemed much like that the first day, when Ranma and Ukyo first arrived, and fought on that very same fence. Akane quickly lost her balance and tumbled into the canal, but without a curse of her own it didn't bother her. She began to splash the water in hopes of catching one of the other two.

It was in dodging one of these splashes that Ranma turned a back flip, and came down right in front of the ladle lady. As usual, she threw her ladle of water over him, and Ranma again transformed into his sister's mirror image. She growled, while Akane and Ukyo both burst out laughing.

"Why couldn't she get you, Sis?" Ranma said, wringing out her shirt and then tucking it into her pants, as she tightened them around her waist. "I ain't even had the curse unlocked that long!"

"Maybe that's it," Ukyo suggested. "I chose to stay in cursed form, but you were forced to stay that way. Besides, all the time I was in cursed form, it felt like hot water kept tryin' to find me."

"Really?" Akane seemed surprised by that.

"Yep. It wasn't that bad since I could usually just change back. But I suspect the curse works both ways." She grinned at her scowling "sister". "The harder you try to stay in one form, the harder the curse tries to getcha to change."

"And you've been changing back and forth for a while, going to school as Ranko, and being Ukyo at home." Akane said. "Or, maybe you've just grown comfortable with your curse. You don't seem bothered by it as much as Ranma." She gave her fiance' a sympathetic smile.

Ukyo didn't have time to reply, as at that moment there was a commotion from the street. Several of the girls from Furinkan were passing by jogging, and had suddenly begun to cry out in fear. They came running at the other three girls, who turned to see what the noise was about.

The cause of all the chaos was a small, very old man. Like Cologne, he looked to be only two or three feet tall, and was even more wrinkled. He was calling out "Akane!" and leaping from girl to girl, grabbing onto the chest of each and fondling her as he passed. The manhandling, of course, caused each girl in turn to cry out, and begin trying to beat the old man off of her. He wouldn't remain long enough for any of the blows to land, however, already leaping to the next girl.

"Akane?" One of the group had recognized Akane and called out to her, even as the old pervert grabbed onto her. The old man looked up and followed her gaze, and then pointed at Akane, excitedly. "Do you know this freak?" The girl continued, drawing back in horror from the withered figure perched on her chest.

Akane looked bewildered, as she clearly did not recognize the old man. However, he jumped towards her, with a cry of "Akane!" At the last minute, she brought up her book bag, and he slammed face first into it. He dropped to his feet on the ground, apparently none the worse for having missed his target.

"Little Akane!" He called out. "Don't tell me you don't recognize me!"

Akane grew more uncertain, as she shook her head. The old man began to sob, hiding his face in his arm, and Akane's expression grew concerned. "I'm sorry," she said, "I just don't remember. But give me a moment..."

"That's all right," the old man said, sniffling loudly. "I know when I'm not wanted. But just let me have a good cry... IN YOUR BOSOM!"

With that, he leaped at Akane again, and she drew back, fumbling with her book bag. However, even before he could reach her, the old man was driven into the ground by a foot. Ranma stood over him, scowling as she looked down at the pervert. "What is your problem?"

The old man looked up at her. Then, a wide smile spread over his face. "Akane!" He leaped at Ranma, and although she tried to dodge him, he somehow managed to anticipate her movements. The old man latched onto her, and Ranma cried out in a combination of shock and pain, as he started groping her breasts with a surprisingly powerful grip.

Ukyo slammed the old man into the ground again, knocking him away from her sister. "Geez, what took ya so long, Sis!" Ranma snapped at her, rubbing her chest and wincing.

"Sorry, Ranchan, I wasn't expecting him to grab ya. You're soaking wet, after all."

"So is Akane, but he grabbed at her," Ranma pointed out.

"Well, how come you didn't dodge him?"

"The old goat's fast!" Ranma snarled, her gaze turned to watch the withered old freak carefully. "I didn't even have time!"

The strange old man sprang back to his feet, with an agility which belied his age. Just like before, he seemed totally unharmed by Ranma and Ukyo's blows. "You can't be Akane," he said, sizing up the two girls. "Soun Tendo didn't have any twin daughters."

"You know my father?" Akane asked, her voice showing her astonishment, although she was still holding her book bag tightly against her chest.

At the same moment, Ranma snapped back at him, "Hey, my name's Saotome!"

"That can't be right either." The wrinkled old pervert thought for a moment. "Genma had just a single child, a boy."

"You DO know our fathers!" Akane said.

"You really are Akane Tendo?" He turned to look at Akane, and she drew back a bit.

"But Ranchan and Akane don't seem ta know you..." Ukyo put in, somewhat angrily.

The old man pulled out a pipe and puffed on it. "No. They've never met me. But yes, I know Soun and Genma."

"Why you..." Ranma lifted her fist, pushing up her sleeves, but Akane caught her arm.

"Hold on. Looks like we have some questions for Father and your Dad. Let's go home."


Sure enough, Soun's reaction to the old man was immediate. As soon as he saw the tiny, withered figure, his eyes grew wide, and his mouth fell open. "Muh... Muh... MASTER!" He cried.

He grabbed the old man in an embrace, lifting him into the air. The old man laughed brightly, while Soun sobbed, as usual. "Master Happosai, it is so good to see you're okay!" However, while his tears flowed as forcefully as always, there was a strain in Soun's voice that hinted that his words were not entirely sincere.

Sure enough, while Ranma and Akane glanced at each other, muttering, "Master?" Soun suddenly brought his arm up and attempted to smash the old man on his head. He blocked the blow with one finger, and then, with a throw that seemed almost careless, tossed Soun Tendo across the family room. The much bigger man bounced off the table, and landed in a heap on the engawa.

While the three teens glanced at each other, wide-eyed, Happosai hopped over Soun's prone form and walked out to the koi pond. There, a large panda was busy playing with a tire. "Genma Saotome, as I live and breathe!" The old man said. "You haven't changed a bit."

The panda held up a sign. "I'm just an ordinary panda."

Happosai laughed loudly, patting the panda on his shoulder. "I'd recognize those beady eyes anywhere! A Jusenkyo curse, huh?"

"You know about Jusenkyo?" Ukyo put in.

"Of course," Happosai said, turning to face her. "Who do you think told Soun and Genma about it?"

Ranma had grabbed her panda father around his neck, and began to shake him. "You knew? You knew about Jusenkyo?"

"He never mentioned anything about a curse!" The panda's sign read. "He just warned me that it was dangerous!"

"And of course, you just HAD to go there!"

Happosai looked at Ukyo again. "So, Spring of Drowned Twins, huh? Are you Nabiki? Or Kasumi, maybe?"

Ukyo looked stunned for a moment, but Nabiki answered for her. "I'm Nabiki," she drawled nonchalantly. She was watching from the family room table, with her head resting in her hand. She nodded slightly at her older sister. "That's Kasumi."

"My name's Ukyo." Ukyo said, blushing a bit. "Ukyo Kuonji. I was adopted by Genma."

The old man looked the ponytailed girl up and down. He noted her masculine clothing, and the slight coarseness in her speech. Then he looked over at Ranma, who had started fighting with her father. The panda was leaping and dodging in an attempt to escape from the lanky girl's energetic attacks.

"Genma Saotome!" Happosai shouted, a sudden anger in his voice that startled everyone else. "Do you mean to tell me that you have been training this lovely young lady in Anything Goes?"

Ranma and Genma both turned to look at him, startled, but Ukyo shouted back at him. "Yeah, what of it?"

"You poor thing!" He exclaimed, and Ukyo jumped, more disgusted than reassured by the sympathetic, sad eyed look he gave her. "A beautiful young thing in the prime of her life, to be so mistreated. ALLOW ME TO COMFORT YOU!"

With that, Happosai leaped onto Ukyo's chest, and began to grope her as he had Ranma. Ukyo stiffened, and began to scream, trying her best to pry the pervert off. However, he seemed remarkably able to avoid her attempts to grab him, while still managing to maintain his grip on her more sensitive female attributes.

Finally, Akane managed to punch Happosai off of Ukyo. He flipped back to his feet, but then got stomped on by Ranma. The three girls proceeded to beat on the old pervert for several minutes, before they noticed that he had suddenly vanished.

They looked around, to find him standing back in the family room, in front of the low table. He took another puff on his pipe. "Well, you three are skilled, that is for sure. But it's still a terrible tragedy."

"Tragedy?" Akane spoke up this time, her anger obviously rising. "Just what do you mean by that?"

If Akane was growing angry, Ukyo had already gone beyond all control. "Just who is this old freak?"

"Grandmaster Happosai," Soun said, his eyes downcast. "The founder of the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts. He was the Master that taught us, when we were younger. I remember those days..."

Soun's expression turned more reminiscent, as he began to speak about his training with Genma. However, behind him, the panda provided some counterpoint with his signs.

"The Master would teach us techniques of stealth and subtlety," Soun began. "And how to escape from a desperate situation."

"We would help him steal women's underwear in his panty raids," the panda's sign read, "and get beaten by the girls chasing him."

"And he taught us the importance of living off the land, and not being wasteful."

"We helped him steal food, and then he would eat it all while making us watch."

"Alas, eventually even masters and students must part ways."

"We got tired of being pounded mercilessly by all the enemies he made when they finally caught up with us."

"So, one day just over ten years ago, we procured something to make the Master's day easier."

"We stole some sake and got him drunk."

"And we decided to go out into the wilderness for some training."

"We tied him up and dragged him into a cave."

"But unfortunately, a boulder accidently fell from a cliffside above and rolled across the entrance of the cave."

"We tossed him in the cave with a lit bundle of dynamite and sealed the entrance with wards."

"We thought that surely he was gone, and we would never see him again."

"But we weren't smart enough to finish him off."

"Ah, but there's still no time like the present, eh, Saotome?"

With that, both man and panda leaped at Happosai. The old man simply jumped into the air. A few seconds later, he was standing on a pile made up of two groaning martial artists. Soun, in particular, was groaning because the panda had landed on top of him. He was somewhat relieved when Kasumi got up from the table, and poured a kettle of hot water over Genma.

Both men promptly began bowing and apologizing profusely to the old Master. He merely laughed again. "Not to worry, boys. I'm not here for revenge. But I am disappointed to see what you have done with my school of Anything Goes Martial Arts. Teaching sensitive, innocent girls my martial arts legacy? Whatever happened to your son, Ranma?"

Genma quickly rose to his feet, and grabbed his "daughter", shoving her in front of Happosai. "That's right! Here's my boy, and he's a fine martial artist!"

Happosai raised an eyebrow, and Ranma turned back to scowl at her father. "Stupid Old Man. Why are you actin' all pathetic over this perverted old geezer, anyways?"

Realizing his mistake, Genma turned back to Kasumi, and grabbed the kettle away from her. Then he poured the water over Ranma. "See, my son is quite manly." Ranma just snorted.

"Hm. Hm. So I see." Happosai puffed away on his pipe, as he circled around the now male Ranma. He looked over at Ukyo. "Interesting Jusenkyo curse. I guess he'll have to do, though. He doesn't look like much, but at least I won't have to go easy on him if he's a boy."

"Hey!" Ranma started to say, but Ukyo cut in on top of him.

"What is that supposed to mean? I'm every bit as good as Ranchan is!" Ukyo clenched her fist, stepping forward to bend over the old pervert. He stared back up at her, smiling a bit. "I trained right by his side!"

"You could never survive MY training, girl," Happosai told her. "You're fast, but that won't help you against me." He gestured with his pipe. "Heck, Little Akane over there would be better able to take it."

"Wait, what?" Akane said. Her eyes widened, and then got all starry. "Really? You really think so?"

Ukyo didn't notice her reaction, though. "I can take it, just fine!" She yelled at the old man, shooting Ranma a glance that dared him to contradict her. He put up his hands.

Happosai shook his head. "An innocent girl's body is not meant to be all scarred and bruised. I couldn't do that. I have too much respect for the boundless beauty of nature." He again got that big-eyed look on his face that was more disturbing than cute.

"What you mean is, a girl wouldn't let you steal panties, and put up with the crap those two morons let you get away with." She waved her hand at Soun and Genma. "You're not afraid of hurting me, you're just afraid I'll fight back!"

Ukyo accentuated her point by trying to poke the old man in the chest, but he rolled inside of her arm, and goosed her breast. Ukyo squealed indignantly and tried to grab him, but he just darted away. Unfortunately, this had angered Ranma as well, and he charged into the fray, fists swinging. "Leggo of my Sis, you dirty old man!"

As Ranma grabbed him, though, Happosai just caught his hand with his pipe. He then flipped his wrist upward, and Ranma went sailing through the ceiling, punching a hole in the roof.

"Okay, nobody does that to my Ranchan!" Ukyo shouted. She leaped at Happosai, but he was far too fast, dodging her so effortlessly that Ukyo tripped and fell to the floor. She then sprang back to her feet, as the old letch jumped onto her bottom.

Ranma fell back through the hole in the ceiling. "I told ya to leave my Sis alone!" He shouted. However, he didn't stand up, but instead began crawling around on the floor like a spider, his arms and legs twisted at odd angles.

"Ranma!" Akane called out. She ran to him, trying to hold him back, as he kept trying to crawl after Happosai. "Are you all right? You look like you've thrown your back out."

"I'll be just fine," Ranma answered, "as soon as I strangle that old man!"

"You and me both!" Ukyo screamed, as Happosai goosed her again. She gave chase, as he ran down the hall and up the stairs, laughing the whole way. Akane tried her best to tend to Ranma, while the bumping and banging over their heads told them that Ukyo was having no more luck catching Happosai.

"Oh, dear," Kasumi commented, looking up at the hole in the ceiling of the family room. "And so soon after we fixed the hole over Akane's room, too..."


Author's Notes

This is the final, edited version. There are no serious changes, although I did change the wording a bit to clarify that Happosai was imprisoned "just over" ten years ago, setting this just before Genma took off with Ranma on his training trip. The canon is vague, but I consider it possible it could be as much as 13 or 14 years, making Ranma and Akane babies at the time.

My proofreader also caught a line where due to pronoun use it sounded like I had replaced Ukyo with Akane, but I had intended for Akane to knock Happosai off of Ukyo.