A/N: So, I've had this one (as usual) for a while, but all I had was the beginning and the ending – and had absolutely no idea whatsoever on how to make the beginning and end meet in the middle – hence the long, long, LONG break I feel I've had. (Well that and I grew up overnight... I moved into my very own house –pauses for proud smile- and was therefore making it a home. I now go to stores and look at cushions and bathroom mats... hahahahah! also explaining my lack of reviews to you other lovely authors, expect some soon! Promise!) So yes, that is basically my excuse on why it's taken so long to get the middle to be nice to me and work in the way I wanted it to. Turns out Fred wasn't that nice and I feel a lot happens in this chapter, like little random scenes, but alas, such is as what Fred insisted on... so such as was what Fred received! (I'm sorry if I lose anyone at some point!... in this A/N alone!)

In other news and actually relating to the chapter, I shamefully added a little bit of a Rookie Blue link in this chapter – so those of you who watch and know the show, I'm sorry. I couldn't help it. I'm going through withdrawals after the season finale and needed to get my fix somehow! Haha.

Special thank you to those of you that reviewed last chapter. Your words of encouragement are so lovely, you all have no idea how much I appreciate all of you. cklovesm-m, Dudette, afrozenheart412, rapidtetv, Dine89, brendanakai, Lindsay1234, messermonroeforever125, iheartcsinewyork, Meredith and Derek and unlikelyRLshipper. Your reviews really blew me away - especially those of you that really get in depth, huh, Caitlin ;)... and it just makes me smile that my random ramblings can get such an amazing response. So thank you!

NothatRose – this one is for you. We talked about this song months and months ago now and I'm sure you thought I had forgotten, but I did not! I hope it was everything you wanted it to be (plus a few surprises!)


Set during (and after) that episode where Danny beats the crap out of Michael Elgers. 5x22 is it? Maybe... I don't know anymore (it's also nearly 4am! Episode numbers aren't my strong point at such a time! lol!)


I'm Lost Without You – Delta Goodrem

All I know is I'm lost without you, I'm not gonna lie.


Thumping his desk with his clenched fist, Danny let out a rumbling growl that echoed through the glass panels of the office. He knew- KNEW- that IAB were going to have his ass for showing Michael Elgers a thing or two. He just knew it. And it wasn't as if he didn't expect it. He just didn't agree with it. There he was, wife and daughter on the way, risking his life every single day serving and protecting the city and they couldn't grant him a little benefit of the doubt when a piece of trash like Michael Elgers acted the way he did? Bullshit was what it was. Bullshit.

He took a deep breath as he told himself that he didn't care. Whatever happened was going to happen for a reason. ... That didn't mean that he wasn't pissed off about it though.

He sat back in his chair and his back cracked. Maybe it wasn't going to be such a bad thing. He'd already had the chance to get a lot done in the time that Lindsay had been in Montana... Even to the point where he'd assembled their daughter's room.

Daughter. He let out a long, laboured breath as he tried to suppress the joy and contentment he felt every time he pictured his baby girl. The day that Lindsay and he had found out for definite that they were having a baby girl, he had been terrified. It had shaken his very core, knowing he was actually going to have a baby girl. It was one thing listening to Lindsay insist that they were having a girl, but there was no evidence of that – it had been just a hunch. He could smile and nod all he wanted, and deep down know that they were having a boy. But all that had changed now. They had solid evidence that they were having a baby girl.

He was going to have a baby girl that would break his heart every time he looked at her - and honestly, he didn't know whether it scared him to death or filled him with excitement.

After the initial shock had worn off, Lindsay had declared a Skype date after Danny had finished work, and using Danny's Apple Mac computer and his shared screen capability, they had searched together online at all the different stores they had been browsing in for the past eight months. Danny had made a note of each thing Lindsay had commented on, and the next day had bought every item he (and Lindsay) felt his daughter needed. He'd then singlehandedly put together each bit of his daughter's room; piece by piece. It'd had taken him the best part of his day off, but it had been nothing to him in the long run. It actually filled him with excitement as the pieces of his daughter's bedroom fit together over the day. It made it real for him. Everything was in place for their daughter; waiting for her arrival, which left him in a pickle. What was he to do for the next week as Lindsay's trip came to a close? Lindsay was moved in. They'd re-decorated. Their little girl's room was complete...

Danny picked up a stress ball that sat on his desk and began to squeeze the object. He and Lindsay really were in a different place compared to the last time she'd been in Montana. Last time she'd left without even saying goodbye; and this time – she nearly let him talk her out of going, thus not leaving at all.

He'd been lost without her last time; and although he refused to admit it, he was even more so lost this time. He was just able to handle the separation a little better he reasoned with himself because he knew she was coming back to him.

Deep down, a part of him was suggesting that he'd laid a beating on Michael Elgers because of the pent up energy from not having Lindsay around like he'd been accustomed to, but just as quickly as the idea came to him; it disappeared. He knew for a fact that it was simply his mind telling him he was grasping for straws. He wasn't that lost without Lindsay, was he? He shook his head. No. He wasn't so lost he felt the need to beat someone up. He had been sticking up for Sheldon; and he would have done the same for any one had they been with him. And... Michael Elgers had resisted arrest. He had to apprehend him somehow, right?

He pushed back from his desk and took a deep breath. He had sufficiently wasted the fifteen minutes before his meeting with Internal Affairs. He straightened his back and smoothed down his shirt as he prepared himself for the worst, and hoped for the best.


Suspension... Two weeks. Without pay. Quite frankly it was a load of crap. He was pissed. Pissed to the high heavens, but he had expected it; so when they had told him it wasn't the punch to the gut he had thought it may have been.

That didn't mean though that it didn't hurt a little. Alright, it hurt him a lot.

He'd told Mac that he was looking forward to spending time with his new wife before their baby arrived... his actual wording had been Bambina... but by the by. Despite the annoyance he had been feeling moments previous he felt a smile wash over him as he gazed down at the half packed duffle bag that lay in the same place Lindsay's suitcase had.

He'd gotten off the phone to Lindsay's parents two hours ago; and had then managed to snag a seat on a flight leaving JFK in four hours, getting him into Bozeman at around nine thirty.

The opportunity had been handed to him on a plate, and there wasn't a chance in hell he wasn't going to take the opportunity and follow his instincts.

She'd had enough damn time in Montana in his own humble opinion and as her husband, he was putting his foot down. She'd spent some quality time her sister. She'd put up with the constant teasing from her brothers, whom were apparently taking no pity whatsoever on their pregnant sister. She'd been spoilt by her father, and loved on by her mother.

... And he couldn't deal with being away from Lindsay a moment longer.

From their hourly phone-calls he could tell that Lindsay was both preparing herself for coming home in a little under a week, but also, she was ready to leave. Like she'd said to him in one of their conversations when she first arrived; Montana had been such a huge part of her – but New York had captured her heart.

Well, New York and somebody else.

He smirked as he tossed another t-shirt into his duffle bag - uncaring of how it would crease even more in transit to Montana. He couldn't care less if he tried if he was to be honest; all he wanted was to get to Montana. And the four hours he had to kill before his flight was going to in turn kill him.

He figured he could run for something to eat, but was too anxious to eat anything. He could tidy the apartment up, but he was too excited and would end up making more mess. He could just go sit in the airport bouncing his feet against the floor as he waited for his check in desk to open up, but that was as good as he lay on the bed; deciding he'd packed enough, and turned the TV on. To turn it off a second later. ... He'd never been so antsy in his damn life.

"Fuck this!" The excitement in his stomach rose as he jumped up and roughly zipped up his duffle bag and pulled it from it's position on the bed, securing it on his shoulder.

He turned the light off in his and Lindsay's bedroom and quickly made his way through the apartment, stopping only to grab his wallet and ticket confirmation that lay on the breakfast bar.

He was so freaking close to seeing the smile he'd missed for nine days, and not even the distance between them, the wait to check in, the flight itself or him navigating his way from the airport to Lindsay's parents' house was going to stop him from revelling in the knowledge that he was about to surprise his wife with the best present ever... her husband.


"Wanna do something?"

Glancing up from her glass of water, Lindsay shook her head slowly. "Sorry Hales, I... I'm not really in the mood to be sociable today."

"Why?" she sighed as she took a seat next to her sister. "Missing Danny?"

Lindsay nodded slowly and sadly. "Yeah. A lot."

"Why, you've been fine so far..."

"I've never really gone this long in not seeing him. Even when he... when we..."

"When he cheated on you." Haley finished her sister's sentence off with a significant amount of disgust. "Because that's what it was. Cheating."

"Hey, hey." Lindsay shot her sister a look. "First of all, that's between him and I and it doesn't concern you. And second, he made a mistake – I've made mistakes along the way too... nobody's perfect Haley."

"I know that but..."

"But nothing, it's in the past, and there's no point worrying over what we can't change, is there?"

"Well, once a cheater always a-"

"Finish that sentence and see what my fist does to your pretty face, Haley." Lindsay threatened. "I may be pregnant but I could easily have your skinny ass on the floor."

"Look, let me rewind here for a second. I didn't come here to get into it with you Linds, I honestly didn't."

"So what's with the full force attack on my husband then, Hales? I thought you liked him."

"I do, Linds. I love him to pieces for everything that he's done for you. He's my brother in law and I love him like you love Nathan. I just... it gets me when you're here and you're sat wishing you were back home with him. I don't get you much, do I? You're my best friend in the entire world, and it kills me that in the last four years I've seen you twice, and each time you were depressed over Danny."

"Depressed is a little extreme, don't you think?"

"Perhaps," Haley shrugged. "I just... I want my baby sis, you know? I want to spend time with you, and not Danny's wife."

"Well, what if it was you."

"If what was me?"

"If you were pregnant and you couldn't be with Nathan."

"Lindsay, you're on vacation for two weeks! He's not in some far off country and you can't even speak to him. He's like a few hundred miles away."

"Try thousands."

Sighing, Haley pulled Lindsay's chair back from the table and tugged her sister's swollen body out of the chair. "That's it."

"What? Hales... Come on."

"No, I'm cheering you up."

"Haley..." Lindsay whined, splitting the syllables of her sister's name. "Haley, please. Just let me be."

"No."


Settling into his seat, Danny let out a contented sigh.

Finally. New York to Denver, Denver to Montana. He was finally on his way, feeling slightly less nervous than he had been the first time round.

"Business?"

Danny glanced to the man sitting next to him and shook his head. "Me? No, I'm going to see my wife."

"Aww, how nice." The man returned amicably. "Where is she?"

"Montana; visiting her parents." Danny smiled. "I can barely contain myself."

"I can tell. You look like you're beaming."

"And I'm not the beaming type." Danny quipped. "Danny Messer." He said, offering his hand. "How ya doin'?"

"Luke Callaghan." The friendly blonde smiled and returned the handshake.

The two men settled into silence for a minute before Danny felt himself trying to strike up conversation to keep himself occupied. "So, what brought you to New York?"

"Who's to say I'm not from New York?"

"I've lived here my whole life and that accent you've got there tells me you're not from here." Danny smirked.

"Conference." Luke smiled.

Danny nodded. "Nice city to have it. Get the chance to explore?"

"I've been a few times. I'm with homicide. And what better of a city to have a conference... I hear the crime lab here is out of this world."

"Get out of here." Danny snorted. "I work for the NYPD. I'm with the crime scene. I work in that very crime lab."

"No way!" Luke shook his head. "Which Detective do you work with?"

"Don Flack." Danny smirked. "Know him?"

"I just spent all weekend with the guy." Luke shook his head. "Seriously?"

"Seriously." Danny nodded.

"Well damn, what a small world."

"What did ya say your name was?"

"Luke," he repeated. "Luke Callaghan."

"I'll make sure to mention it the next time I talk to him."

"You should, tell him I say hi."

"I will." Danny smiled as the captain announced push-back from the gate. "So, you heading home to anyone special?"


"Hey... you."Her voice suggested she was a little unsure of why his phone had gone straight to answer-phone."I guess you're..." she paused. "Where are you? I'm not by any means turning into some crazy wife that needs to know your whereabouts all day every day, but I just... I really miss you and I'm going crazy here without you and I really needed to talk you and... I'm now going to stop rambling and just hang up the phone and pretend I never called and made myself seem crazy, okay? Okay. That sounds good." She paused again before hanging up.

Oh God, she thought. That'll be around the precinct by noon if Flack catches whiff of it. Ugh. Idiot, Lindsay Mon- Messer... You're an idiot.

"What do you think of this?"

Sighing, Lindsay glanced up from the rocking chair she'd placed herself in twenty-five minutes ago and slid her phone into her handbag. "It's exactly the same as the one Danny bought seven months ago... so I like it."

"He bought this?" Haley asked with a raised brow. "This exact outfit?"

"Yes. That exact outfit." Lindsay bit at her sister. "Haley, I'm tired. Please, please, please, can we go home?"

"I want to spoil my niece, Lindsay... You're not making it very easy for me."

"I'm about to burst here, Hales. I look and feel like a whale and you're seriously hell-bent on dragging me around every single baby-store in a three hundred mile radius... give me a break!"

"I'm excited about you having a daughter, Lindsay... As you should be too. I want to buy everything in that three hundred mile radius and I can't understand why you're not feeling it..."

"Hales, I've been excited about this for eight months."

"You didn't know though."

"I knew I was pregnant, and the baby was healthy, so that gave me enough excitement. Granted, I didn't know the sex for definite," Lindsay corrected her sister. "I didn't have any evidence that proved she was a girl, but I always knew. But deep down I knew she was a girl."

Haley let out a sigh as she took a seat next to her sister. "Is it true what they say... you just know?"

Lindsay shrugged and then nodded. "Yeah, I guess."

"I mean, when you... when you thought you were pregnant... did you, you know... know?"

Lindsay bit her lip for a minute before answering her sister. "I'd done the math, I'd looked at what had happened... what I knew wasn't used in the moment, and that gave me a big enough case to make against myself." Lindsay began with a giggle. "But non-detective side of me... she knew too."

"You did?"

Lindsay nodded. "I felt different."

"How different?"

Lindsay furrowed her brow and pursed her lips. "Is there something you want to tell me, Hales?"

Haley shook her head adamantly before turning a beet red. "I'm just interested. I mean, you're my baby sis, and none of us have had this yet, you know."

"Brad has Brian and Kelly, and Kyle has Louise. I would imagine they've been in a slightly similar situation to what Danny and I are in, Haley..."

"I don't mean them, Linds," Haley sighed. "I mean you and I; those of the Monroe's that can actually give birth..."

"Oh," Lindsay giggled. "Well, I mean I had morning sickness for a while before I took the test, so that was a pretty sure indicator because we both know how strong of a stomach I have. And then after I took the test, it did a number on my psyche and I was sick every morning without fail."

"Aww Linds, you poor thing..." Glancing at her sister, Haley shook her head. "You didn't have anyone to... Danny wasn't..."

"He didn't know Haley," Lindsay finished Haley's sentence, sensing she was struggling in finding some words to put together that wouldn't offend her sensitive sister. "He couldn't help me if I hadn't told him."

"Yeah but why hadn't you told him?" Haley pressed.

"Look, Nathan isn't perfect Haley. And neither is Danny."

"I know that, Lindsay. I know he isn't perfect, I do... I just, it hurts me knowing that you were all alone in that moment."

"By choice." Lindsay added. "I could have reached out for him."

"Could you?" Haley asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Despite everything that we were going through Haley, I know that if I told him I needed him he would have been there."

"Alright." Haley sighed. "I know it doesn't sound like it Linds, but I like Danny... I do. I just... you're my girl, and as grown up as you are I still worry. I always will."

"I know." Lindsay smiled and laid her head on her sister's shoulder and let out a breath as realised Haley was desperately trying to hold onto what little time they had left together. "So, that outfit there is pretty cute..."


"... I'm now going to stop rambling and just hang up the phone and pretend I never called and made myself seem crazy, okay? Okay. That sounds good."

Danny smiled as he ended what was now the third call to his voicemail. He knew he was sat in the Monroe driveway, and he was practically yards away from his wife – but he just couldn't move. Not yet. He wanted to savour the moment. He wanted it to be perfect, and he didn't know how to make it perfect. Not yet at least. He wanted to have the phone call down exactly. He wanted to be situated so he could see her face when she realised what was going on and where he was. He wanted to make her day.

He took a deep breath as a speech began to form within his mind. He was about ready – because now was better than never. He swallowed as he pressed the talk button, dialling Lindsay's number. He held it to his ear and suppressed his rapid breathing and anxiety.

"Oh thank God you called." Lindsay began, not even bothering to say hello. "Danny, I'm going crazy."

"Aaaww, baby. Why? What's the matter?"

"I just... I miss you. Way too much, and I know it's getting to Haley the fact that I'm here but I'm not really here and I just feel really bad, so I need you to talk me out of the funk I'm in and tell me to make the most of the time I have left with my family, with or without you."

"Aaaw, honey." Danny bit his lip. "Is that why you called earlier?"

"I had chosen to forget about that horrific message, thanks very much." She cringed. "I'm sorry, you must think I'm a total loser, leaving a message like that."

"Oh baby, no, not at all."

"Where were you?"

"I was just in an area with no service." Thirty thousand feet is considered as an area, right? He smirked to himself.

"I figured you were at a scene." Lindsay shrugged. "Take my mind off things. How was your day?"

"Alright." Danny bit his lip. "Nothing much happened really."

"How was work?"

"Meh, I'll tell you about it later." He tried to fight the smile on his face which was reflected in his voice. He also tried to fight the urge to tell her that he'd be telling her all about his day in person. "So, this pep talk then?" he prompted, seeing a good opportunity to get to talking about their distances apart. "What's making you miss me so much right now? I thought you were okay."

"I thought I was too, Danny... but I'm really not. I don't think I've ever missed someone as much as I miss you right now. I just... I feel like I'm spaced out and I'm just not me without you here. I'm lost without you."

"Aaww, darlin'... Why though? I thought you being at home was what you wanted."

"It was... it is," she corrected herself.

"But..."

"But I just want you here too."

He felt the anxiety rising inside him. He'd had a whole long list of things he wanted to say to her, but he couldn't prolong it any longer.

He had to tell her.

He slid out of the rental car and shut the car-door, letting it slam more than what he probably should have in order to keep the element of surprise. "Look outside."

"What?" She gasped.

"Look outside." He smiled down the line as he leant against the car. "There's a surprise for you out there."

His heart swelled when his eyes fell upon Lindsay as she approached and then stood in the windowsill, cell phone still clutched in her hand, holding it to her ear. He watched her disappear from view, until he saw the front door practically being ripped from its hinges.

Danny smiled as Lindsay shoved the screen door away from her; and there it was. Right in front of him was the smile that had been in Danny's mind the entire flight. It was now mere feet away; her eyes searching him in the dusk sunlight trying to figure out whether what she was seeing was true.

"I was lost without you too." Danny smiled finally as he slid his cell phone in his pocket.

"How..." she cried, hanging up her cell phone and shoving it onto the porch swing that sat on the deck. "What...?"

"The how and what doesn't matter right now." He smiled at her, deciding against telling her everything that had happened in the past few days straight up. "I came across the opportunity to take two weeks off, so I figured what better way to spend it than with you. Surprise!"

He hadn't realised but in the time he'd been talking to her, she'd made her way over to him and just as he finished the rest of his sentence, she flung her arms around his neck and sealed her lips to his. And by God was it a kiss. She'd left him with quite the memory of her kiss – practically searing his lips with her's with the intensity of the kisses they'd shared in the time between their marriage ceremony and her leaving – but his memory had not done her justice. The softness of her lips when combined with the tenderness and intimacy of their kiss made his bank account balance, slight jet lag and hunger pains in refusing to eat plane food absolutely three hundred percent worth every single penny, second and stomach growl he'd gone through or spent.

He locked his fingertips in Lindsay's longer hair and massaged her scalp gently, coaxing her into a kiss-coma with him.

She edged away from him slightly, reducing the intensity of their kiss a little, but still placing kisses to his lips in between gasps for breath.

"I can't believe you're here."

"Well, you better." He smirked before shaking his head. "That was so lame." He sighed as he pressed a delicate kiss to her lips. "All this way, and that's all I can come up with. Pathetic. And I call myself a smartass."

Lindsay shook her head and held a finger to his lips. "No, shush... It's perfect. You being here... it's perfect."

"Not as perfect as I would have liked, but hey, just seeing you makes things seem perfect."

"What made you come today though? How... why...?"

"I was lost without you, Linds." He informed her as he wrapped his arms around her and held her as close and as tight as humanely possible. "I missed you so much, and I couldn't deal with being away from you anymore. And like I said, the opportunity arose for me to get some downtime and get away for a few days, and I got myself on a flight outta JFK as soon as your parents gave me the a-okay."

"Wait... they knew?"

"Of course they knew." Danny smirked. "I had to tell them to hide your brother's shot-guns... and to tell them to kill an extra chicken for tonight's dinner."

"Smartass." Lindsay slugged him in the arm before snuggling against his strong chest. "I can't believe it. You're really here, aren't you?"

"I am." He smiled as he tucked a lock of hair behind her ear and pressed a kiss to her cheek. "God, I almost forgot how beautiful you are."

She blushed. "Danny..."

"Well, that was a lie; I'd never forget how beautiful you are... God, it's so good to see you, baby."

Instead of replying, Lindsay simply wrapped her arms around his neck and laid her head on Danny's chest.

"Thank you." She whispered after a few moments of silence between the two of them.

"Thank you? What for?"

"For being you. For being my amazing husband that will fly across the country at the drop of a hat when he thinks I need him. Because honestly? I really needed you."

"And I needed you too, baby." Danny smiled. "I thought I'd go insane if I spent another night in our bed without you... and anyway, after the stunt I pulled the other day I figured I needed to do something to redeem myself out of your bad books. "

She rolled her eyes before running her thumbs over his cheeks affectionately. "Remind me to kick your ass for that later, alright?"

"Kinky." Danny smirked with a wink.

"Pervert!" she giggled, pinching his cheeks hard. "Come on, let's go inside. I need to go have a word or two with my parents, withholding information from a police officer."

"You've had too much time on your hands babe," Danny smirked as he temporarily let go of his wife so that he could grab his duffle bag from the back seat and then lock the car again. "Good job I'm here now for the intervention before you lost your mind completely."

"Oh my God," she stopped dead in her tracks with a twinkle of excitement in her eyes. "I can show you my beaver crime scene!" she squealed excitedly as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her into his body.

"Oh Linds," he laughed, shaking his head. "God I missed you and your dorky exuberance."

"Good." She giggled. "And for the record Mr. Husband, I missed you too... even if you do call me a dork."

"Yeah, but you're my dork..." He reasoned with her. "And I actually wouldn't have you any other way."


And there we have it... the show never really told us whether Lindsay was home when Danny got suspended, so I know this might come as a shock but I decided to go with Fred and pack Danny off to Montana. hehehe. Bless Fred. He's a good boy sometimes.

Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed :)