Chapter 53
Esme stood with Marshall by one of the larger windows by the front door. She soothed him with her voice, singing baby songs to him lightly and rocked slowly side to side as they both listened to the rain. It provided a soothing rhythm against the roof and the side of the house.
"Do you like the sound of the rain?" Esme asked him, breaking her song to ask her newborn son a question she knew he wouldn't verbally respond to.
Marshall laid contently against her and his innocent breaths could be heard at a human-like pace. Esme thought to herself that it was perhaps the best noise she had ever heard in her life. He looked so happy and peaceful, and she began to pray silently that he would never have to endure the type of painful ordeals that the rest of them had.
"He only breaths like that when you hold him."
Esme turned around, seeing Carlisle approaching where she stood in the dark corner of the house. He put an arm across the top of her back and looked down at Marshall, then kissed her once solidly on the lips and didn't move for several seconds. When he pulled away, he tucked his thumb and finger beneath her chin for a moment before more than happily allowing her to lean up against him.
"What do you mean?" she asked him, referring to the statement he made about Marshall's breaths.
"He doesn't breath like that when he's with other people," Carlisle told her quietly, "Only when he's with you. I think your scent soothes him; makes him feel happy."
Esme smiled at the possibility that that could be true. "Really?" She looked down at their son lovingly and sighed. "I love him so much. I hope this doesn't scare you," she laughed, "But I'll never get sick of this."
Carlisle managed a smile and laughed quietly for a second. He kissed Esme's temple and looked out into the trees as the rain continued to flow in a perfectly tranquil fashion.
"Are you okay?" he asked, "About what Alice told us?"
She nodded and kissed the top of Marshall's head, then looked at Carlisle, "Yes." Her voice was steady, and there wasn't a hint of emotion.
He looked her in the eye, "Okay," he said softly.
"I can tell you're surprised," she went on, "And I'm going to tell you why I'm not worried."
Carlisle looked at her and waited.
"Because Alice is always right."
He tipped his mouth up in a partial smile, but didn't say anything back.
Esme nodded as she continued, "I know that sounds very basic, and elementary, but after the extravagant plan the two of you went through to assure we made it out alive, I have no doubts that this will turn out exactly as she's saying."
"Are you saying you didn't trust Alice before?" Carlisle teased.
Esme smiled wide at him and shook her head. "No..."
"Mmm..."
She snickered, "I've always trusted Alice, I just... I don't know, I just have a gut feeling that it'll be fine. She would tell us if the scenario was going to be dangerous."
"Yeah," Carlisle agreed, looking down at Marshall. He let his questions about her demeanor rest, as he didn't want to talk Esme out of the good mood, and internally content feelings she had. "You're right."
"I know," she whispered, smirking just after as she did.
He smiled at her and looked at Marshall, who's steady breathing continued. "I'll leave you alone with him," he whispered as if the baby had been sleeping.
Esme looked at him, "Stay with us."
Carlisle smiled, appearing as though he had no intention of moving. He tucked his thumb and finger beneath her chin again and the two of them shared another kiss.
Esme kept her lips close to his and kissed him twice more consecutively before leaning up against him.
"I'd suggest going down to the island if Aro comes to visit, but I don't know if that would work," he told her.
She smiled and looked up at him again. "Marshall."
"I need some time alone with you." He tried to be serious, but laughed a few seconds afterwards, causing Esme to do the same.
"We do need to make time for each other," she agreed with a nod.
Carlisle kissed her again. "We will."
"It'll be nice to see the Denali family in a more relaxed atmosphere," Esme acknowledged, "I feel like in the recent years we've only seen them in times of distress; maybe once or twice otherwise."
He nodded, "Yeah. Would this count as a time of distress?"
She shrugged, "I don't suppose so, at least not at the moment."
"Yeah..."
"Carlisle," Esme said, "I know now how quickly things can happen. I spent almost two weeks thinking you were dead. I've just been telling myself to live for today, and to enjoy every second that we have together; you and I, and everyone."
He eyed the floor for a moment, but Esme placed a hand on his cheek so he would look back up at her.
"Don't feel bad about doing that," she continued with reassurance in her voice, "I just don't want to spend today worrying about tomorrow anymore. I've done that too many times, and to be honest, it's just a waste of what could have been a good day."
Carlisle knew everything that she was saying made sense. Despite her claims that she knew why he and Alice had faked their deaths in the recent past, he still felt heavy waves of guilt cross through him whenever he saw the emotion it brought out of her. He felt almost numb in the pit of his stomach when he was reminded of how much sadness she experienced. The feeling was repeated over and over when he pictured the faces of their children, and Alex's overwhelming cries when she first saw him.
"I mean, we all know I'll break my own rule on some random Thursday afternoon," Esme told him with a laugh. "You'll come home from a hunt and there I'll be... like always." She shook her head.
He looked at her as she casually, and in a teasing manner, brought out what she considered a tiny flaw. Carlisle saw her 'would-be' reaction as perfectly normal and natural. He didn't like seeing Esme cry, but he knew when she needed to and how therapeutic it could be for her, in her own words.
"You're so strong Esme."
She began to shake her head.
"I mean it," he told her, "Since the first time I met you I knew that about you; I felt that about you."
"Carlisle, you have no idea how insane I was during those two weeks. I wasn't strong."
"Esme," he told her, "You kept our kids together. They were going to have a normal life regardless of the outcome. You were there for them. Caleb talked to me about the car ride home before you got here."
She looked at him and he could tell she was beginning to get upset.
"I'm sorry," he said, shaking his head.
Esme maintained a closed-mouth smile and took a deep breath. She put her hand on the side of his face again. "I love you," she whispered.
Carlisle closed his eyes, still feeling pained. He wanted to talk about how hard and horrible those weeks were for him, but he felt like it was completely unjust and even borderline disrespectful to try spilling his feelings to his wife, who had gone through so much more all because of the decisions he made.
She touched her nose against his and kissed him for several seconds again. "Tell me," she urged him.
He re-opened his eyes. "I love you too."
The two of them stood together closely in the dark corner of the house by the window. They spent the next hour in near silence listening to the sounds of the rain, Marshall's breathing and the sound of Esme's voice as she continued to speak and sing to their baby in a naturally soothing, motherly voice.
