This sounds bad, but I want to finish this story. I have another one to be posted. :)
EPOV
I'm scared. Shitless.
I like to think that I know what I'm doing at points in my life, but right now I am completely clueless. You'd think a doctor would be able to set up a crib too, but apparently, its rocket-science.
"Bella, read the directions again," I said, looking at these pieces. She sat down the paper and sat up on her knees.
"I said to let me do it, Edward. Now go for ten minutes and give me some privacy to do this."
My eyes looked down at her. Bella was huge for seven months, and there's no exaggeration. Even the doctor said she was abnormally big. Of course being a woman, she didn't take this too well; I swore that if someone wasn't with her all day, she would never eat. The case remained that I still thought she looked amazing. I never really understood guys' fascination with pregnant women but I was beginning to see it now.
"Fine," I muttered, walking out of the room. Two months away from delivery, we were getting things together.
About a week after we went on our search for a house Alice came back from work and said she found something. It was closer to the central of Seattle and not so suburb-ish. It was also fresh off the press, and Bella couldn't find a single thing wrong about it. Three bedrooms, two baths, a huge kitchen, and large backyard. Naturally, she told me to get it fenced in.
I told her I would in the future.
The future. I would be lying if I said that I didn't miss how my life used to be – and not just how much easier everything was. It was just so much more fun. Don't get me wrong, its not like Bella is weighting me down, but I used to have more free will. More time to play around and more variety in what I play around it. There wasn't time for that now, nor was it acceptable.
I returned to the room after a good fifteen minutes.
"Told you its not that hard," she said smugly.
I gapped at the crib standing before me. "Didn't know you're the man of the house," I grumbled.
"Nope. I'm not." She looked up innocently. "I'm just the one that wears the pants here."
The room was painted a very pale shade of blue, Bella's choice, with clouds near the top of the walls. Emmett took it upon himself to paint a yellow sun around the light. No one listened when I said it looked too feminine; everyone was on Bella's side. Even Rose, who was finally coming around to the idea of everything.
"I think we need to go shopping," Bella said, holding out her hand so I could take it and pull her up. "I want to get some baby clothes."
I blanched at her, partly surprised by Bella suggesting to shop. "Baby clothes? Are you kidding me? All those months ago when Rose and Alice went out and bought an entire store of neutrals: Isn't that going to be enough?"
"Probably," she admitted. "But I want the experience, Edward. Please?" She begged with her eyes. I hated when she did that. It melted me into whatever she wanted.
"Depends." I stepped forward and grabbed her, pulling her forward me. Her stomach hit mine and her face was still half a foot away. "Do you love me yet?" We did this almost every day and it always ended the same.
"Nope."
"Figured."
And I was learning to accept it. I knew I wasn't the same when I wasn't with her, I knew I loved her. Sometimes I took her actions for love even though she stated that she still didn't love me. I always thought I was afraid of commitment and I opened myself, loved her, and she still didn't love me back. Was this really karma? I laughed to myself. Bella also had me whipped.
"Yeah, whatever. When do we go?"
A smile spread across her face. "Now! Let's go now, Edward." She started to pull me toward the door but I stopped her. She turned around, scowling. "What?"
"You eat first," I commanded.
XXXX
BPOV
"Look Edward, isn't this cute? Oh my God, I love it!" I squealed. This wasn't me: I never went goo-goo over anything. I never got excited about shopping either, especially in this "condition". Standing got uncomfortable so fast and walking around just became a hell.
He looked at the onesie. "Nice, Bella," he agreed.
I narrowed my eyes at him. "Look, I know this isn't your idea of excitement, but I am so ecstatic! Smile, baby, please?" I begged, setting the little outfit down. "This is supposed to be fun."
"I'm sorry but I don't know a single man that can get into shopping. Even for a baby."
I exhaled, rubbing my tummy. I was huge. I asked Esme a few weeks ago about Edward as a baby and she said stated that Edward was pretty big too; genes really don't pass lightly.
Edward and his parents were developing on some ground. Sure I still had problems comprehending what I was doing with my life on a daily basis, but I still had the knowledge that I was bringing other people together. It was still slightly awkward, and sometimes Edward didn't show much interest in communication with them, but it was branching out. At least they were trying. I took it into account too that Rose was trying. When it was made knowledge that Edward and I were moving in together, she started offering her brother a hand – metaphorically, of course.
I think Esme and Carlisle were glad to get one son back after losing the other.
I saw my dad almost twice a week. Edward was working hard at the hospital during days and sometimes he had been taking up twenty-four hour shifts, which left me alone a lot. Especially when we moved into the new house I didn't appreciate the loneliness. So I started visiting Charlie more and stayed the odd night when Edward wouldn't be home. I didn't mind the drive in the slightest.
Dad always told me he was excited that I was having a baby, and I couldn't not agree. He did, however, really want to meet Edward. He even started questioning that this guy really existed. But Edward was incredibly nervous. I tried talking him into the whole meet-the-father thing, but Edward insisted that that trip would be a endangerment of his nuts. I just let it go.
Charlie still questioned me when he would finally meet this guy, and the only answer I had was: "When the baby comes."
"I like this," Edward said, pulling me out of my thoughts. He held up a little blue T-shirt that said "I love Daddy." I still couldn't get over how little this baby would be, so tiny, breakable, fragile.
I grinned. "Me too." I watched as Edward looked at all the baby clothes with mild shock and awe written on his face. I sighed as I gazed on. He was special, so special to me and to this baby. I was thankful for that day in the cafe where we had sex out of lust, thankful for every day that we talked, had sex, laughed at each other.
In the beginning, he seemed so distant. Like he didn't actually love me or want a baby. But it was in the privacy of each other's room that he was himself, that he was the guy I wanted to love. He wasn't like this in public – he was always so sarcastic and witty and distant, but in isolation with me, he was different. I started to learn more about him in the past months than I had in the start.
He acted like he didn't like to be taunted though it was a secret desire. He liked to be teased before sex, foreplay being one of his favourite activities. He likes to eat in the late hours of night. He's protective when he feels like it. He tries to comfort me when I'm sad but he doesn't know exactly how or what to say.
I think I love him, I thought. But I still wasn't sure.
I don't think Edward fancied the total at the department store and even I could admit that I did go overboard. The variety of onesies and all those little cute things...like the socks. So little. I was in awe, still not able to wrap myself around the fact that I had a baby. An actually human being inside me.
Crazy.
Edward carried the three bags out of the store, looking more annoyed than before. He had put some restrictions on what he would and would not pay for. It actually came down to a lot; I still had yet to have my baby shower. He said that we should have left the clothes thing to Alice but I didn't listen in the slightest.
"Hey Edward, I'm hungry," I said, pointing in the direction of the food court.
"But you just ate, Bella," he protested, clearly ready to leave before I realized something else I wanted.
"Uh, I'm eating for two!" I snapped, gesturing quickly to my stomach. I could feel the pout of defeat that wanted to break through.
"You know, I hear that's not such a good thing to do..."
"Edward," I growled.
He sighed heavily and grabbed my hand, leading me to the food court. I still had those aftershocks of that overwhelming amount of anger. When we got there I told Edward that I wanted him to grab me something quick so I eat on the way home; I respected the fact that he didn't even want to do this in the beginning. He dropped the bags against a wall off to the side and I pointed him in the direction of A&W.
Naturally, he complained and asked why I couldn't. My excuse? The baby was tired.
I stood against the wall. A few weeks ago I noticed that when I stood, it felt like my ankles had their own pulse. When I mentioned this to Edward – out of concern for my own health – he told me I had swollen ankles. I hated weight. I swore to never eat again after this baby was born.
I almost felt like sleeping but then I heard a familiar voice that made my heart stop, my skin go numb.
"Bella?"
I turned and took one look at him, only to close my eyes. "Jacob." I'm over this, I'm over this, I'm over this.
He looked at me blankly, his chocolately eyes widening as he took in the weight gain. He took a step closer, too close. "Why...why didn't you tell me?" he demanded, sounding a mix between sorrow and anger.
"Tell you what?" But I knew what he was talking about.
"That your pregnant!" he exclaimed, reaching forward with a hand. I slapped it away immediately. "Bella, what are you doing?"
My head was swimming. This encounter was something I used to think about, months ago, but never ever happened. I didn't even think it would. "What am I doing? I don't want you touching me like that, get away." I bent down to pick up the bags at my feet, but stopped halfway.
Edward always got things off the floor for me.
By default I was glued to that stop. I just hoped that Edward didn't take much longer.
"But Bella," Jacob said, taking another step. I felt his stomach against my baby, "you can't deny me the right."
I stared at him, so confused that I laughed. "Right? What right? What are you talking about?"
He gave me a curt look. Jacob had such a baby face that I didn't understand why his personality couldn't match. Why did he have to be such a confusing prick? "Deny me the right to know my baby," he said matter-of-factly.
"Your baby?" I exploded, drawing over the attention of a few people. "What are you talking about? This isn't your baby, Jacob!"
"Bella, we broke up almost eight months ago. How far along are you?" I didn't respond. "See? Your not going to tell me because you know dates will match up." His hand reached forward again. "Now let me touch my baby..."
His fingers just touched my T-shirt before I took a step back. "No, stop touching me. This isn't yours!" I looked after the food court and it was so hard to see through the bodies that I couldn't stop Edward anywhere. After a few more seconds searching I saw him walking through the crowd. When our eyes met he gave me a confused look.
I returned it with that look I always got before I cried. It urged him to get there faster while Jacob continued to run his mouth, harass me.
I don't know if Edward knew Jacob the second he saw him or if he missed the distress on my face, but he walked up – still quite fast – and kissed my cheek. "Here baby, teen burger, just what you wanted."
"Thanks," I said, looking up at him for a few seconds and silently pleading while I took the drink and bag. If he understood, he didn't show it.
"Who are you?" Jacob demanded.
When Edward didn't respond, I had to look up. He was watching Jacob, glaring down at him with the blankest of all blank expressions. I saw a boiling anger, a fury I hated to see, but welcomed at the given time. It was like Edward was sizing Jacob up for a fight. I grabbed his hand as if to say "I know your intentions."
Suddenly, Edward burst out laughing. "I'm your worst fucking nightmare," he said simply, reaching down for the bags, taking them in one hand and dropping the other arm over my shoulders. "You stay away from her, she's mine now," he said sweetly, oddly toxic though.
"That's my baby and you both fucking know it," Jacob insisted, trying to match Edward's no-shit tone. "The dates match up and you guys will finally get it when that baby pops out Native American!"
I closed my eyes, feeling tears form. On any other day I would have eaten him out on this, but being pregnant all I wanted to do was cry.
"Come on baby, let's get you home." As Edward started pulling me away from Jacob, I stopped for a second.
"Jacob, I had my period after we broke up. This isn't your baby," I told him as firmly as I could, before tucking myself under Edward's arm and walking away.
Okay, there is supposed to be some loose ends, its your choice to pick what you want to believe. It was my goal to finish this by midnight, don't ask me how I wrote all this, I'm still trying to figure it out myself. LOL I'm impressed with me. *dreamy voice*
Serious, though, one more chapter and it will be the birth! We'll meet little-dick Edward Jr.!
Love Glitter
